The reality transcending my senses is my Master. It would be more comforting to say, "My Master's protection of my worldly life." But I know that's not true. The reality borne out in the daily experience of my life is that my Master stands as ultimate reality. And my experience of the reality of my Master is that He is not that interested in my comfort. Rather He is interested in a relationship with me. That is the only thing I have here on earth that will last past my physical death. But even that relationship is not the ultimate reality, not even my ultimate reality, He is.
I have to restrict my belief and walk of faith to the Scriptures and what He reveals there. I can't add tradition, interpretation, or "group-think". I can use those for better understanding of Scripture, but I must always press beyond them into the actual words themselves. I need to swim in the words and wallow about in them, let them wash over me and through me. I must allow the Spirit of my Master to use them as the sword dividing joints and morrow, soul and spirit; the sword He lends me for spiritual warfare.
I must base my faith on what my Master says about Himself. But I must also base my faith on all my Master says about Himself, not just my favorite parts. I don't much like Joel, but at least it's short. Amos and Micah are longer than I thought, and Hosea was great until I got through the first two chapters (that's when the thing with Gomer was over), but there are 10 more! There are genealogies and laws about food, there are lists of poetic imprecations on nations that no longer exist, and I don't really enjoy wading through them.
But there are things I can learn from those laws, things about that my Master thinks are important. Those curses of nations fit nicely with history, but also indicate something of my Master's character, the scary parts. The lists of genealogies are interesting for who in there, and who isn't. The boundaries of the 12 tribes, and even who made it into the list of tribes, are still useful to show how my Master divides up His inheritance among His children. There are things that on the surface are cures for insomnia, but below the surface, my Master has hidden treasures of His Person for those brave enough to dive for them.
My faith itself is really a gift from my Master. In Ephesians 2:8-9, the words "this" and "gift" is not matched with either "faith" or "grace", but stand as a neuter subject encompassing the entire idea of the first phrase, "For by grace you have been saved through faith." And even more than just that phrase, the preceding support for such a statement could be included in "this" as well. The entire idea and its support is a gift from my Master. So, this faith in my Master is based on what He has revealed about Himself in Scripture, but it is also a gift from Him to me, it does not originate from me. Is that weird or what?
So, like Martha and Mary, the sisters of the dead man Lazarus, I stand outside the tomb of my deepest pain and remind Jesus that it will stink if the tomb is opened. And Jesus looks into my eyes and says, "Didn't I tell you that if you believe, you would see the glory of God?" And then He proceeds to delve into my pain, where my heart died so long ago, and raise to life what I thought was lost forever. With Martha my Master discussed theology, with Mary He wept, and with them together He repaired their life. In some sense to show off, but in a way they, and those around them desperately needed; as I need now.
If I am to experience true freedom, then I too must open the tomb where the smelly nasty remains of my heart lie, and allow my Master to raise up what was lost. I'm not even sure I remember where the tomb is anymore. I suppose I will need to have Him show me that as well. So, I will rely on my Master for the faith, the understanding, and the location where He wants to work in my life. I really am just along for the ride, but at least He provided good reading material.
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