02/02/11 - MUFHH - 1 Corinthians 9:16

In 1 Corinthians 9:16, Paul claims that proclaiming the gospel is nothing to boast about. He is compelled to proclaim and suffers if he doesn't. Jeremiah, my biblical ministry model, had a similar problem with a fire in his bones when he refused to prophesy. I have not felt that. Not a bone fire nor suffering has hit me for not proclaiming. Not for a long time. It's been nearly 11 years since I pastored, and half that since I last preached. I still respond initially to Scripture in 'sermon' terms, as if to preach it. But then pull myself down into it personally, and force the application on myself. There are other clues to me that I could still proclaim,given an opportunity, but any fire has been filtered through pain-induced fear. I don't want to be a sad example of a prophet who ends his life, a captive of his audience where I warned them not to go. I'm not sure I'm cut out for 'corporate life' either, so... I will listen to the voice of God, and not refuse Him, whatever He says.

02/01/11 - MUFHH - 1 Corinthians 1:17

Back to calling again. This time the winter of my soul deepens, the sense of waiting for spring continues without break. Yet in one aspect I see that much of my calling I missed because I focused on the change in me and my fellow believers. But we were already redeemed (at least that was the claim). I wanted myself and my local church to act attractive to those not redeemed. But why attract them to us instead of the Cross of Christ? In 1 Corinthians 1:17 Paul claims his call was to the proclamation of the good news. But not in his ability to speak. That would detract from the act of Jesus to redeem. I was a distraction instead of background when that was my focus. Perhaps the hope of spring grows even as the temperature drops. I will spend this time of waiting learning of my Masters purpose in suffering, One for all.