The Perspective With The Destination In View

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you." (John 14:1-2 NASB)

The comforting words of Jesus to His troubled disciples help me with a view of my Master.  He didn't tell them they wouldn't go through the next 72 hours without problems or sadness.  He didn't tell them that it was really enjoyable, they just weren't seeing it right.  Jesus Himself wasn't looking forward to it.  Instead, Jesus seeks to give them perspective.  I need that; desperately.

It's really easy for me to get caught up in the moment and the circumstances around me.  My bank account and bills not working out like I want haunt me.  The things I think are good that I want to do, my Master doesn't enable me to do.  I see people around me I care for suffering or under stress that I am powerless to do anything to fix.  And what I need in these times is perspective.

I attend a church called Journey Community.  Often in this culture it's popular to focus on life as a "journey" and try and ignore the "destination".  "It's not the hill, it's the climb" or other cliche is used to downplay the destination in favor of the journey.  Perhaps the cliche "the ends justify the means" has been abused to the point that the pendulum has swung absurdly far in the other direction.  But a journey has to have a destination to make sense.  Journey Community sees this, or tries to; but it's often difficult.

So where is my destination?  Jesus encourages His disciples with , "in My Father's house are many dwelling places," and I like that perspective.  In the Greek, the word for "dwelling place" is rather rare in Scripture, only being used in this chapter of John, and only twice.  It is a more "generic" term for a place to live than "house".  It's as if it could refer to any place used to live, but I like to think of it as the difference between a "house" and a "home".  Almost any thing can be a home with the right elements; a house isn't necessarily one of those required elements.

"In My Father's house are many dwelling places," means that I am headed home.  I'm not there yet, but I am headed that way.  This passage also includes Jesus telling His disciples that they know the way there already.  They're confused by this, but He clarifies to say, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."  So, the way has been laid out before me.  Jesus is the "Bread of Life" sustaining me on the journey home.  He is the Light that illuminates where I walk on the journey home.  He is the Door through Whom I pass to get on the journey home.  And He is the Way, the True Way I follow, and the Life I hope for when I reach there.

Why is it that my perspective gets so stunted that I can't see beyond my current difficulties?  When I look at these same circumstances in the context of the destination I head toward, they look very different.  They don't go away; Jesus' disciples didn't avoid the pain and sorrow of the following 72 hours, but after the fact, they saw those hours differently.  I need the perspective of my Master so I can see my circumstances from His perspective, and enjoy the joy of expectant hope; hope in the destination, my Father's house with many dwelling places.  Some of those are for me and my house.

When God Remembers

But God remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the cattle that were with him in the ark... (Genesis 8:1a NASB)

The ark "walked" on the waters of the flood 150 days (Genesis 7:24), and that's a long time to wait.  After just over 5 months, God remembered.  There is something comforting about that.  Sure it was 5 months, but God remembered.  I'm confident that 5 months cooped up with a bunch of smelly animals would have driven me nuts (notice Noah didn't open a window until Genesis 8:6).  This could not have been a comfortable trip for Noah and his family; character-building family bonding perhaps; comfortable it wasn't.

I probably would have thought that God had forgotten me.  I'm pretty sure my family would have suggested very strongly that God had forgotten us.  Discouragement would have been what marked my trip bobbing on the flood waters destroying all life on the land.  I'm not sure Noah was discouraged, I'm pretty sure he wasn't pleased about waiting like he did to have the dove disappear, but he still continued on.  Yet through that process, God remembered Noah and all life on the ark.  It may have seemed like He didn't, but He did.

I discovered that my Master remembers me too.  I did something very rare for me, I lost my phone yesterday.  I couldn't remember when I last had it except that it was early in the day.  I looked all evening last night, and didn't find it.  I called it, while I listened intently from all the various places in and around my house where I knew I had been.  I had only left the house to walk the dogs at lunch, and that had been in a 30-minute circuit around the neighborhood; a route followed by about half the students at Silverland Middle School.

Well this morning, Erin and I were going on a bike ride.  I felt compelled to follow the route I had walked the dog, even though the odds of finding the phone were really long.  What with all the kids that went along that route, it seemed very unlikely they would have just left it, or not noticed it.  I didn't have a lot of faith in their character to return or find out who lost a smart phone.  I felt it was not likely to turn up, but I felt compelled to look.  Erin was against following the route since it took out way out of our way for the bike trip.

You probably guessed it by now, it turned up.  Erin found it at the end of a street near vacant lots never used for our housing development.  It was there in the dirt, it was working, and in fine order.  It hadn't been found, it hadn't been damaged by the cold or damp night, it hadn't been taken, and it hadn't been destroyed by someone running over it.  Everything that could have happened to destroy it or deny me from it, didn't happen. 

It seems like my Master remembered me.  It's a small thing.  There was no flood, no wide-spread destruction of the land, no living thing died, and I didn't have to build a big boat.  It only took one night, not 150 days.  But the odds were against me, yet I felt compelled; not hopeful mind you, but compelled.  So where was my faith?  It was in my belief that went beyond my hope.

I knew that even though it was not likely I wanted to be thorough.  I wanted to be an example to my daughter who struggles to find things, usually because she isn't thorough in her looking.  Yet, still I had little belief I would find it (and actually Erin found it, the one who believed less than I did).  Yet being an example or just to make a point of being thorough doesn't really explain the compelling sense I had.  I just could not accept not looking and assuming it wouldn't be there.  I couldn't accept it by why?  Why was it so important to me?

I believe that my Master remembered me.  I believe that He compelled me to look.  I believe that I sensed His prompting to go look; to throw the nets on the other side of the boat one more time; to cast the line into the sea to get a fish with two coins in its mouth; to do what made little sense in order to experience the blessings of my Master remembering me.

The Long View...Again

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.  If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way where I am going."

Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?" 

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.  If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him."
(John 14:1-7 NASB)

Jesus is encouraging His disciples after a long tough week.  But even now, they don't really get it.  Jesus isn't surprised, but He needs to "front-load" them to lead His people after He ascends back to His Father.  So, to encourage them, He points them to where He is going, telling them they will one day be there too.

That is the key for me.  Knowing Jesus is the "way, truth, and life" only makes sense with heaven in view.  In fact my life only makes sense with heaven in view.  One day I will be present before the great alabaster throne of Yahweh beholding the uninhibited glory of my Master.  What can possibly compare with that?

My lovely wife is away on a business trip, and I'm lonely.  The house is quiet, and will be most of the day (until the dogs bark anyway).  Yet, I'm not purposeless, I'm headed somewhere.  I may not like this day and what's in it, but I'm not home yet either.  One day I will live in a house with many dwelling places (and therefore lots of very close neighbors).  One day my Master will come back to take me along with Him so that I might be where He is.  One day makes today endurable, but also full of joy and hope.

When I encounter people unacquainted with Jesus, they are supposed to be bewildered by my hope.  I wonder how often that happens.  Do they notice my hope?  Does joy characterize my life in general, and with others specifically (including my family)?  Essentially, do people wonder about me in a way that does not necessarily draw attention to me, but what's going on with me?  Like a vagrant or transient, do they wonder what happened to me without really wanting to get involved and know my name? 

I'd have to say no at this point.  I need this long view more in my life.  I have tried to gain it through astronomy, and that does provide a glimpse of the amazing wonders millions of years old by the time I see them.  But it's not quite like focusing on the path to heaven.  I believe in heaven, and I have faith in heaven.  Yet, while faith enables me to get there, it's love that enables me to bring friends.  Do others see hope and joy in me and wonder about it?  Do I love them?  Or is my day and week about me?  Heaven help me!

Grace in the Midst of the Storm

But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD. (Genesis 6:8 NASB)


"Behold, I, even I am bringing the flood of water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall perish. But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark -- you and your sons and your wife, and your sons' wives with you." (Genesis 6:18-19  NASB)

The "favor" found by Noah in the eyes of Yahweh was in the midst of Yahweh's repentance that He had made humanity.  The word used in Greek for this favor is normally translated as "grace".  Thousands of years later, this word would be defined by the Son of God sacrificing Himself on a cross, and then defeating death in resurrection.  Here, grace is defined by the survival of one family and pairs of every animal.

So, grace and favor from God are not only very ancient concepts, but ones found even in the midst of God's wrath.  Love and wrath bound up in the same Person at the same time is confusing.  Yet how often am I angry and yet still love the ones with whom I'm angry?  I also find it comforting that I can find this grace of my Master in the midst of His wrath.

Last night, old patterns of thoughts crept back into my mind.  I shoved them away, and dwelt on other things, but it troubled me that they were back.  I know why they were there, I just don't like that they were there first, before other things.  I don't like that I had to consciously switch gears to get on to other things.  I don't want to be this way.  I suppose I have to continue my lessons, training to think differently.  I had hoped I was further along though.

So this morning I am tired.  I have a small group meeting tonight that I have been anxiously looking forward to for 2 weeks now.  We will discuss Genesis 6, perhaps the whole chapter, perhaps less.  I don't want to have that discussion tired.  But that choice has been taken from me.  I will have it while tired.  I will peek from out of the fog of my thoughts into the eyes of the others, and we'll discuss the giants in the land, the frustration of God, and the grace He gave to Noah.  Perhaps He'll share of that grace with me tonight?

Son of a So-and-So, Categorically Speaking

Noah was five hundred years old, and Noah became the father of Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. (Genesis 5:32-6:2)

One of the interesting idioms of Hebrew is use of ‘son of’ to refer to a member of a particular category.  The three verses above have three examples.  Noah is a “son of 500 years” (or actually a ‘son of five hundreds year’).  The “sons of God” are another category, and the “daughters of the man” form another.  The category of age is a strange way to refer to it, but it works.  We use it a lot in modern language but usually from a reference point of ourselves, “he’s so young”, “she’s just a kid”, “they’re old”, and so on.  Our categories may not be as precise, but we still use them.

The category of “daughters of the man” though is one easily understood, but still sounding strange.  C.S. Lewis used this sort of reference when he refers to human children as “sons of Adam” or “daughters of Eve” in his Narnian Chronicles.  The reference to the “sons of God” has always caused theologians trouble, and probably always will.  It should cause everyone trouble, but not everyone thinks about it much.  Those thinking about it and looking into its uses find it troubling.  It refuses to be consistent enough to pin down to one meaning. 

I think the only meager consistency about the references to the ‘sons of God’ is that these ‘people’ belong in a category shared by God Himself.  I suspect without knowing for sure that it refers to angelic beings, and that what is written of here is an important clue to the fall of some.  Jesus said there was no marriage in heaven.  Some of those there in the presence of God Himself decided marriage was more important than remaining before His throne.  I see it as their particular “tree of the knowledge of good and evil”. 

So, what category would I fall into?  What am I a “son of…”?  There are a lot of things I could place there; many not very pleasant or admirable.  One of the worst is that I am a son of addiction; not a happy category, but one that is true about me.  While I may try to escape this category, and while it may not have as strong an influence over me as at other times, I never truly escape it.  That fact came home to roost last week.  I was sick in more ways than one last week.  I had been sick a week or so back, and was caught last week; caught in my addiction and in my lie to protect it.

But I live in more than one category at the same time.  I am also a son of God.  And yes, I am adopted into that category, but I have been placed into it by God Himself (clearly He takes anybody).  So those of that category before me who chose the daughters of the man over the presence of God, yeah, I’m in their category.  Like the Accuser in Job who was in the assembly of the sons of God and accused Job, I’m in his category too.  But I’m also in the category with Paul, my frustratingly good ministry model.  I’m in the category with Peter the rocky human.  I’m in the category with John the loving fisherman (also a son of thunder, by the way).

I am among the fallen, and also among the living.  I am among the fractured frail failures, and also among the terrible triumphant troops of the Trinity.  I am among the low-born ignorant peasantry, and also among the Knights of the Realm, Servants of the King.  One I was born into, and one I was born again into.  So daily I walk in two worlds, two sets of true categories.  But which category will I choose to spend my time in?  The choice of Abraham is my choice, where will I pitch my tent?

I Can't Believe I'm Here Again

Since my last post of 2011 (back in December), a lot has happened.  But the accountability of this web log hasn't been one of those things.  And now I've fallen back into bad behavior patterns.  I lied to my wife to hide from her and have been caught in my lie.  I know the lying makes no sense, I knew even as I did it.  I hid because I was afraid.  Just as Adam and Eve hurt their Maker, I hurt both my wife and my Maker.  Why?  I don't really have a reason, just lots of excuses.  I was afraid, but the fear was an outworking of my pride and selfishness.  I didn't want to appear the poor sinner and frail person I truly am.  Again, not a reason as much as an excuse.  The irony dripping from my compounded failure is that I have been teaching out of Genesis 3, covering in detail the futility and shame caused by the lie of the serpent, then the man, then the woman; as if God didn't know.

Those of you who know me best, know this was a pattern of more than a year ago.  I have been doing well avoiding it primarily because of the accountability of this web log.  I now have three additional web logs, and none of them is for accountability.  I have decided to return to an accountability group I stopped because it took more time from my family.  That is a fine step, but I am involved in several aspects of leadership in my church and I sense I need to come clean from my moral compromise with them all.  I am ashamed to do so, but how can I lead from shadows?  I may not be leading at all after I do, but that will be no less than I have earned.

The sense of relief at being "caught" is another cause of concern for me.  I have caused serious pain in my wife, opened up old wounds, and undermined her sense of security in our relationship.  Sure, I don't have to "hide" anymore and there is relief in not living with the lie, but now I must engage in the pain I have caused.  It is different than wallowing in shame or seeking some self-satisfying penance. Until I truly accept the damage I have caused, I won't really appreciate the cost of lying.  If I don't accept the cost, I will trivialize it, denial sets in, and I am right back in the damaged thinking that enabled me to lie in the first place.

I began to think my appearance to others, including my wife, was worth lying, and the stress of remaining in shadows.  I began to build the facade I lived behind for years.  I created imaginary monsters to explain my moral lapses.  All this is a fancy way to define idolatry.  I set how others see me over my love and devotion to my Master.  It was a struggle, and my Master does not give up easily, and He hasn't given up on me (why?).  Even being caught is the working out of His redemption and sanctification.  He gave me opportunities to come clean, and I would not.  I continued to delude myself that I could work my way out of this morass I lived in instead of seeking His path of reconciliation. 

Confession, I avoided it and in doing so, I compounded the failure I was supposed to confess.  If I confess my sin, He is faithful and just to forgive me my sin and will purify me from all unrighteousness.  That confession needed to happen with my wife.  And now it happens on this blog.  Am I a retard or what?  Please pray for my wife.