Today's entry in MUFHH is one of those that I'm not sure I understand. The basic premise is that I will understand the directions of my Master after I have obeyed (or in the midst of obeying – that's one of the places I'm not clear). When I try to figure out the command before obeying then I get confused. I guess the decision making context is what I'm missing here. When I truly know what my Master wants, why would I try to reason it out? I don't, not really. I apply my reasoning when I'm not sure, or when I don't hear anything. Those are the times I begin casting the net of my reasoning ability to discern the direction I should go.
Perhaps that is the context that he is assuming, even though it's not stated. In that context, when I bring my imagination under subjection to my Master I will keep from trying to "fill in the blanks" in what I perceive from Him. That is probably a good thing. Another benefit would be that I won't go any further than His revelation. That may frustrate those also depending upon some decision, but it is actually the pace of peace. The third benefit I see is that I would be submitted and dependent upon my Master; self-reliance would have no place in such a decision process.
The part about the reasoning being clear in retrospect is not necessarily true. Some decisions I still don't understand, but I am still convinced they were the right decisions; obedient to my Master, though I don't know why He wanted me to take those actions. I know that there will be people I have affected for His Kingdom who I won't know or know about until heaven. I don't expect to understand everything in retrospect. I am content to understand in heaven, I'll wait. But there are quite a few that I do see only after the obedient actions, or even in the process of obeying.
Coming out here, I obeyed in steps, and those steps were confirmed along the way. Now that I'm here, I don't see everything included in His purpose, but I see enough to obey right now. Today I will work, and I need to focus on my tasks (I didn't do so well at that yesterday). Tomorrow will be much like that. Saturday I will have an opportunity for something out of my ordinary patterns. I will take things as they come, and allow my Master to bring understanding in His time. I tried to make things happen, come up with my own solutions, and direct some of His provision. He chose differently, and my effort only frustrated me.
I have seen that my efforts get me little, while waiting on my Master gains me peace in the midst of the wait. It is tremendously serene to be able to say, "That's not my problem" even when my livelihood, or the livelihood of my family, depends on it. But it is tremendously stressful to get to that point of surrender. I have seen that, if I wait, He will come and act. I have seen that these things I need are not my problem. If my Master calls me to do something, then it is also His responsibility to provide the means to make it happen. I attend a church where I see some of these same perspectives.
I have a little way to go before this perspective becomes so much my own that it defines my paradigm. I still try to make stuff happen, get involved in stuff before I truly see my Master's lead, and direct how the materials and staff will be provided. It is really an exercise in futility. I won't be able to see my Master carry that stuff out while I'm flailing about trying to do it without or before Him. I'm learning though, and I now notice it sooner. I back off and wait, and I trust He will provide. Some I haven't seen yet, so I have to relax into His provision of timing as well. Some I already plan on waiting until next year to see. I'll probably be wrong there too. So, stay tuned.
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