Spiritual discipline has always been something of a difficulty for me. One book that really helped has been "The Way of A Worshipper", but not for the reason I thought it would be. I bought it because I heard the author at a Promise Keepers Convention speak about his method of studying (or meditating) on Scripture. I really enjoyed it. So I bought the book so I could use it. Well, the book is very short, but it is also made up of a lot more than the Bible study method. That was toward the end. He had a lot to say before that and I needed to read that too.
It turns out that worshipping my Master is not just a corporate spiritual discipline like Richard Foster has it in his book, Celebration of Discipline, but it is also a personal private discipline. I hadn't thought of it that way; at least I never considered it worship. But when I speak to my Master in prayer, those words and the interior they spring from should be aligned in worship of my Master. If they are not, I should not be praying. I knew that on one level, but without that term, I really didn't understand worship. By keeping worship in a building at a certain time with specific people, I had robbed my Master of what I owe Him.
I have just finished (or am on the final pages of) a book that takes place in the early Medieval period as the Roman Catholic Church churns under two popes. The way of the "kings" in that story is interesting. How their attendants and subjects speak to them is interesting. And I see in that story a much better picture of worship in prayer, and why it's so important. The king held the power of life and death, not just over individuals, but over a nation or people. Respect of that sort of power was necessary to influence the king in a person's favor, but there was never a sense of "control" over such power or person of the king.
If I do not come before the Master of the Universe, the Holy One, King of Heaven and Earth with such respect, then who am I talking to? Last night I spent time in personal prayer as I tried to drop off to sleep, and it was sweet precisely because I went before the Most High respecting Him as Most High. I had help and protection because of Who I spoke with, and Who I listened to. I haven't always been there. The process my Master has led me through in coming out here has helped me understand Him much better. I know His power better, and know I can rest in that rather than in myself. That's huge.
I know He has something for me to do out here, but I still don't know more than I did months ago. I am working and love it. I am attending a church and love the people and pastor. I've been helping out in the small ways I can with the finishing of the sanctuary for tomorrow's worship. I still don't know of a ministry that I am to step into. I still don't know of a "purpose" beyond what I already do. So, I have been seeking to remain content in what my Master has already given; which is blessing enough just with that. I am content. But I am also open to more He might have for me.
I have no idea what is to come, but I do know Who does, and I have confidence that He can handle it. Cloudy skies have kept me from my telescope lately. But as things cool off and clear up, I look forward to more opportunities to find perspective in the wider creation of my Master. I want to see again the places He continues to make stars. I want to witness the rings of gas ejected from the dying ones. I want to see again the rings and stripes of massive planets; masses that never quite ignited into stellar bodies, but remained turbulent stormy hydrogen giants. I make a nice coffee and write a blog. See why I worship Him?
When I worship, I am aligned again rightly with the underlying reality of this universe. The infinitesimal piece I experience does not escape His notice, nor His control. So, I worship Him. I declare Him to be Lord and Master. I give witness to the wonders I have seen and declare my faith in the existence of those I have not. I look around and then upward. I seek the truths He reveals in His word, and let them percolate through my spirit. I try and express them here in this blog, but also in my life through the rest of the day. The success in that I believe is growing, but I have set backs. I must submit. I must worship. I must, I must, I must.
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