I am writing while wearing reading glasses. I can work without them, but my eyes tire and get sore after focusing all day. They didn't want to focus on Hebrew vowel points this morning, so I got out the glasses. I took them off when I was done with the text, but then the whole screen was blurry. Actually it still is, but the other way. I'm going to finish without them, my eyes will focus eventually. But this problem brings up an area of my life that I struggle to submit to my Master. I don't like physical maladies in myself. I have them, but I resist giving in to them; which will really suck if I wind up with heart disease or cancer.
The MUFHH entry today has only one thing I disagreed with, but I think it had more to do with wording than true intent. To me, holiness has to do with purpose, ownership, and location. That purpose relates to use. If I indulge a desire, then I can't give that as a sacrifice to my Master. But if I don't indulge it, it is not disqualified from offering to my Master simply because it is a desire. That would be like punishing for temptation. Yet, the first paragraph of today's entry has such a statement in the middle. The rest does not say that and seems to contradict such a view, so I think it's a wording problem. The rest of the entry is very convicting to me.
I am surrounded by things I really like. I am a "gear-head" but only in certain areas. I like stuff, but really, I like "systems" or things connected and interconnected. I like sets or groups of things working together, and I like constructing and fixing those systems. So, my home "network" is one of my favorite things. I have this desire to connect all sorts of stuff to it, the more the better; computers, phones, the video player, a security camera system, another router, a switch, an external hard-drive, the game console, and if, or when, I think of more I'll put that in there too. I have indulged, or want to.
Not all of that stuff is connected, but it's in my sights, and I want it in there. I have some good justifications for having it, and there is little money involved, and more time and work (running cable through the attic mostly). But it is a desire of my heart. Wouldn't it be cool if I were that interested in the relational network of my Master in this community? That stabs right through my soul. All this "stuff"; this entire "system" I want to create does nothing for others. Some of the elements help me in my relationship with my Master and others. A lot of the pieces in the system serve no one but me.
I like to think that I like "systems" because I see that desire in my Master. That may be true to an extent. But here's how what I have related so far fits into the passage for this morning: Josheb-Bashebbeth, Eleazar, and Shammah heard David say he longed for the water from the well In Beth-Lehem (in the gate actually), but there was a garrison of Pilishti camped there. So the three break through the camp of Pilishti, draw water from the town gate, break back through the camp, and bring it to David. These guys could teach Navy SEALs a thing or two (and that's no offense to SEALs).
David refuses to drink the water, and instead pours out this precious cargo, brought by the blood of three of his best men. He pours it out as a drink offering to Yahweh. What they labored for, killed for, were wounded for, and what probably only these three could have done became an offering to Yahweh. My question to myself is, "will what I have labored to produce also be used this way?" Will the product of my labor be an acceptable and precious offering to my Master? There are several elements to this account that veer widely from Chambers' application, and from my own situation (besides the obvious ones of time and vocation).
First, the Three worked that hard out of their devotion to David. I don't labor to produce systems out of my devotion to someone else. It was David who poured out what was precious to him (both out of his desire for water from Beth-Lahem, and because of his Three Mighty Men). I would be the one offering my own work to my Master, not something produced for me by others. Perhaps these differences are enough to make my question invalid. The underlying supposition is that I continue to work on my system and doesn't answer the question of my desire for relational systems of my Master.
Perhaps a better sacrifice would be to let the system alone. A better focus would be on the relational systems of my Master. I still have things I sense my Master leading me to do that I haven't done. The system is fine as it is. It functions. There are unfinished connections I will have time for later (like when the attic is cold rather than broiling hot). I have two things I want to accomplish this weekend. I want to encourage two pastors and ask about a small bible study group in my neighborhood. Those are three things I can do; along with the fun stuff already planned for today. Or is that wrong; having fun? Wait, no… Ask me later, after the fun.
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