In Mark 10:21 is the encounter with the "Rich Young Ruler" recorded with the statement that Jesus loved him. On some level it goes without saying. But on another, it sets up what Jesus says to him in a very different way than the other gospel accounts. When that statement is included in Jesus telling the man to sell everything, give it to the poor, and come follow Him, the meaning has a strong implication that Jesus is not trying to deter the man, but is really pulling for him. Jesus wants him to succeed, and knows this is the way to do it.
It's also ironic in this account that Jesus knows other wealthy people who he doesn't require this of. His buddy Lazarus seems pretty well off. Zacheus may not have needed it. And the disciple Levi/Matthew seems to have done it without asking, but that is not a given. All Scripture says is that he left his toll booth and threw a party for Jesus. Jesus doesn't require the same thing from everyone in order to make them a better disciple. That makes following leaders here on earth more difficult. I can't just do what they do, just like a reader of this blog can't start doing the same thing, making daily entries, and necessarily grow closer to my Master. Instead it is in what my Master leads me into that I grow.
It is clear to me that my Master led me to do this blog. It is also clear to me that He has continued to enable me to keep doing it. He has blessed me richly as I have, and I believe I am more open to Him as I make these entries. I do need to be reminded by Him occasionally what this is for, and again, begin confessing in my entries. This discipline is supposed to keep me current on confession, my list of resentments empty, and reveal areas where my Master is working on my character. I use the entries of MUFHH as a catalyst, but often deviate from the entry or skip it all together when I have other things I need to put into the blog.
This process has helped, but has it been my "Go of Unconditional Identification" Chambers refers to? I don't think so. Something like that may need to happen in my life. I have confessed before that I have "stuff" in my home that I really like and toy with on occasion. I had someone say that they needed a computer, and I happen to have an extra one. So, I can already see where my Master is testing my willingness to let go of my toys. This particular one has my favorite computer case. It's a dream to work on, so letting it go means letting go of a desire to fix it up and make it better, faster, whatever; to tinker with it like guys around here fix up cars.
I believe it is good for me to give it up. I don't have a use for it as it is. But I still don't think this is some sort of watershed test like giving up everything to follow my Master. That time either has already come, I'm in the midst of it, or is coming soon. I'm not sure which, and I'm not sure what it would entail if/when it does come/is/was here (ok, now I'm confused). But I have no doubt that my Master loves me; that He is pulling for me to succeed, but that He defines success very differently from my job, my community, and my culture. It's kind of scary, but only kind of. I trust in the love of my Master and His definition of success. Besides, heaven is way cooler than anything I have now anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment