Today's entry gets at something that is really critical for me right now. Chambers uses Matthew 5:23 and 24, verses key to the Celebrate Recovery program, to point out that I need the willingness to go take care of whatever my Master reveals to me. The verses present a setting where the believer comes to the altar with a gift for the Master. The way it is worded is that the believer would there "be reminded" that a brother has something against them. That is not how I see it translated in modern versions. It is important to me because it brings in the work of my Master reminding me.
That is a typical way this happens for me. And Chambers points out that it is not always the big dramatic sacrifices we want to demonstrate, but often the little embarrassing things. This has characterized my more confessional entries lately. But in this entry, Chambers says that the purpose to these "little thing" is to get to the larger key problem in the background, my rights to myself. He could not be more right. That is probably the perfect description of my core problem. It is why I "permit" sinful thoughts rather than take them captive to my Master. It is why I react in fear, want to protect myself, and so on.
There is freedom promised in relinquishing my rights to myself to my Master. One of them is enjoying reality. When I think of it, the Master of the stars and quarks is already Master of my world and life. To relinquish my right to myself is really to accept things as they really are. That is most likely why it is so difficult for adults to confess Jesus as Lord, they are so used to being their own "lord". But the reality for them is the same as for me. The Master of the universe is already their Master. The question is whether they accept it or not.
And the question continues on in me, 38 years after having confessed Jesus as Lord. You'd think I'd have it down by now, have already relinquished all the areas of my life, and be totally surrendered and available to my Master. Sorry, I'm just not that wise, and still have way too much denial active in my soul. I might be getting there, but it seems like I still have so far to go, so much to learn, and a lot to make amends for. I have a lot to be thankful for, but I offer those thanks with the understanding that I have them because of grace, not effort on my part.
It's time for me to go spelunking in the recesses of my mind; lighted helmet strapped on, following my guide, searching for those ugly things I stored back here, which pollute the streams of my thoughts. It's quite a cleanup job. It's taken me a long time to get them back there. It will likely take a while to clean them up, so I better get my gloves and boots on.
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