For over a year, my wife and I have been exploring the possibility of moving to care for her parents. To the end we decided to put out some tests to see if my Master was truly moving in that direction or not. The approach I decided on was to only go and commit to what my Master revealed, and go no further, emotionally or physically. At the beginning, before we setup the first test, I was coming out of a life-time addictive cycle of evil behavior and depression. As my sobriety progressed, so did our plans for the first test. We put our house on the market.
In a sluggish market, we started escrow within 3 weeks, to the second person to view it. So, my Master was leading us out of this home. We sold it at a loss, but with the extensive equity we had in the home, we still had a solid amount to use toward something else. In fact the loss enabled us to also be able to use it as savings since there would be no capital gains on a loss (it’s a capital loss and actually saves us on taxes, possibly beyond one year). This freed us up financially, and we put our things in storage, and moved into an apartment. We were now ready for the next step, do we stay or go?
In seeking my Master in the next step, I continued my approach to not go beyond my Master’s revelation to us. His revealed will marked the boundary of my commitment. As I progressed in my sobriety, I also deepened my walk with Him, and was doing well against depression. The down-season for me at work had come on already, and I usually cratered emotionally and outwardly during this time. I didn’t. That was also a sign of my Master’s continued work in my life.
I still felt peace even though I had not been given any clear direction other than to leave our house. But I sought direction. Even before leaving the house, as it was in escrow and we knew we were leaving it, we sought direction on what do once it closed. All my Master would reveal to me was to wait, worship, and walk before Him. Again, I remained firm to my commitment to go no further than my Master’s revealed will.
Since we saw no clear indication where we were to go, we decided to remain in the area. We found an apartment with short-term lease because we knew that, whether we stayed or left, we would be moving to another house by the end of summer. The apartment was larger, and cheaper than we thought. The cost of it and our storage was very close to our budget and we again saw the provision and confirmation of my Master to this interim period. But neither my wife nor I felt compelled to seek a house locally.
Since I had not received a firm indication from my Master to do anything beyond waiting, worshiping, and walking before Him, I asked my wife to plan as if we were staying; nothing else had been revealed so far and plans needed to made. She accepted a promotion at work, we signed up our daughter for two summer camps, and I stopped complaining about my job at work (ok, I needed to do that in any case, but I didn’t say I was perfect through all this).
Between a month and two, before the house sale was final, my wife’s parents asked for help maintaining their property. It was getting to be too much, and they were in danger of being hurt seriously trying to maintain it. That was enough for me. Scripture was clear to me that my Master desired His people to care for their own families. We were going. I couldn’t refuse such a request from our family.
Since part of the plans made as if we were staying included a camp for my daughter, we set a date just beyond that. I began to let people know, my wife had a hard time telling her boss that she was going in spite of the promotion, and the wheels were set in motion. Through this point, without seeing it, I had peace about the provision of my Master. We had decided to go without jobs, without a house, without any idea what we would be doing once we got there. Yet I had peace.
First, my wife’s job offered her the opportunity to do parts of it after the move remotely (she does a lot of what she does that way any way). That offered a small amount of income. Then, without prompting from us or the management, that opportunity expanded territory. Then that opportunity expanded again with both territory and responsibility into a full-on 20-hour work week. Now that was income. We saw part of the provision we needed for our transition.
I started seeking a position at work that I had not seen posted. The position would enable me to work remotely for the same company and do something I passionately believed in. I waited as long as I could stand then sent a letter through my chain of command justifying this position. They decided not to go forward with it this year. I accepted that, and resigned my self to leaving the company when we moved. I let my manager know what was going on, and the date we had set. It was a bittersweet announcement, but I felt some excitement at what my Master would do to provide.
Before going on a business trip, my manager’s boss, our senior director, called me into her office and asked again about the date we were leaving. Then she asked if I would be open to that not being my last day. Not really understanding, I said I would. She then explained to me that she had sought and received permission, blessing from our senior vice president, and now wanted mine for me to do what I do here but remotely from our new location. It wasn’t finalized, needed to go through HR and IT for details, but would I do it if we could do it? I accepted readily and with excitement. I began to see the rest of my Master’s provision.
Well, HR got busy and this was put on hold. My in-laws began looking for a house since it looked like we may move with jobs (at least my wife would). Several managers at work were let go (which was why HR was so busy), and I began to wonder. But I felt confident that, even if it didn’t work out, just the offer showed my Master’s provision was certain, even if it wasn’t this way. I felt confidence in that and peace.
My in-laws found a house for us. On the day I prayed that my Master would relieve them of the stress they were feeling trying to find us a home, they announced that they had entered escrow on a house in a small town just outside their own small town. This town had better cell service (a problem I foresaw, but figured my Master had taken care of). The town had high-speed internet from either DSL or Cable. The town was equally distant from both a large metro area with amenities, and my in-laws. And the house is small, but larger than this apartment. Again, I see the provision of my Master. We would be moving straight into a house.
Before I received details, my senior director began talking to me about this as if it were a done-deal, and I became stressed. I didn’t know the details, but it was going to happen. Instead of feeling a sense of peace, I felt stressed, not because I didn’t want the position or felt it was wrong, but because I couldn’t see the details. After all this time I was distracted by mere details! My faith falters at the point of confirmation of my Master’s provision?
Then my in-laws told us that it takes about 2 weeks to have internet installed and since this is an integral piece of what my wife and I needed to work remote, I asked for some details at work so I could choose the right sort. I have enough now to go ahead and arrange. I need to review them and setup the setup of our internet. Once again my Master provides.
What this has to do with MUFHH for today is that this is an illustration of what Chamber’s said was the way I am to live with my Master. And yet, I wanted to be honest about my struggle in the midst even with all the provision I witnessed. So, now I continue on this great adventure. I will complete the story, re-write it, and present it after we’re finally moved. I suspect that my Master is not yet done with His amazing work in this.
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