I’m not so sure that my abject poverty before my Master exhibits itself in asking for things. In a sense it does, but I need careful thought to see when that is true. For instance, when the details of moving were up in the air, but the move itself was not, I didn’t pray that my Master would make the details clear. Instead I prayed for patience and peace while I waited. The point of my spiritual poverty was at the lack of peace and patience. I was called to wait, worship, and walk before my Master. To accomplish that I needed those two qualities. I didn’t have them, so I asked my Master. The other stuff like details I didn’t ask for. I figured to do so was to miss the point of having faith and walking without sight.
Perhaps I’m wrong, but my spiritual poverty has more to do with the “Fruit of the Spirit” than something physical or circumstantial I wish I had. That may be what Chambers is getting at when he says, “The next best thing to do if you are not spiritually real is to ask God for the Holy Spirit on the word of Jesus Christ.” Since the fruit of the Spirit are not fruit of my spirit, but the Spirit of my Master, asking for that fruit would be asking for more “spiritual reality”. Although, I confess that I’m not entirely sure I understand Chambers at this point.
A lot of things in my present circumstance that I see now, I never thought to ask for. It didn’t occur to me to ask my Master for house to move into when we arrived there. It didn’t occur to me to ask that my wife and I would be able to move with our current jobs, keeping benefits and so on. It did occur to us that one town might offer better home prices than another, but we still assumed proximity to the in-laws was better, and I guess we were wrong. We’re just over 20 miles away, but on the way that way.
Is it a problem that these things we see now are things we did not ask for? I don’t think so. But I see points of my spiritual poverty and complete dependence on my Master within me. I am weak when it comes to my particular brand of obsession, and even with some small distance from it, weakness abounds. I still have fears and worries. I take them captive to my Master, but then, later, I let them loose to run around my emotions. I still have difficulty responding appropriately to my daughter. She defaults to smart-aleck and I go off instead of breaking the conversation off. She’s a pre-teen mess and I’m surprised and shocked. Clearly I have a lot of growth ahead.
Chambers keeps referring back to passages in James where I am told to ask my Master for wisdom, but to ask with right motives. I think that I do lack wisdom in a lot of areas, spiritually and circumstantially. So, I have a lot of growing that will require a lot of asking of my Master. My motives in those requests should be to grow closer to my Master, not to appear more spiritual to others or gain their approval. Going into a new place with a new church, that is a real issue to watch. The temptation will be there, but will I be conscious enough of myself to spot it and repent immediately?
My real need at this moment has to do with how I respond to my daughter. The other details out of my control are my Master’s problem. But my responses to my Daughter are weakness for me which will affect her and her walk with my Master. She needs a loving coach, mentor, and leader. She doesn’t need a bully, but does need firm boundaries. She doesn’t need another buddy, but she does need a responsible emotionally mature parent. I have some growing, humbling, and relaxing to do. I think my Master wants to work in her life, but I have probably been a hindrance.
I suppose that is enough to work on for one lifetime…I mean day.
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