Today I feel better, but not great. I am still sick and I will attempt to go into work and last as long as I can. I need a shave, to wash my hair, and a hair cut. The hair cut will have to wait. Sure I have things to do at work today. I have email to catch up on, I have phone messages to answer, and I have lots of work from the convention that needs to be entered and followed up upon. I will b busy. My head will be fuzzy. And I will very tired. So why go?
The entry for today talks of my Master’s appearance to the Apostle John while he was exiled on Patmos. The response of John when he sees my Master in His glory is to fall as dead at His feet. The reason is that John had not seen Jesus in this way before. He had seen Him as a Son of Man, and he had seen Him transfigured. But this vision he has of my Master is very different, and not familiar. John was given a gift to see my Master in a new, more powerful way.
I go to work, not because I have been given a new vision of my Master which makes me fall as if dead. I go to work because I have already seen my Master as One enduring suffering on behalf of others. I go for my team. I will be gone as of next month, and what I do now matters little to my pay check. But the team is behind, my month is behind, and, although my year-to-date is just fine, I have a contribution to make. I go for others.
On the other hand, what disease I have is communicable, and my team can easily become infected with it. I run the risk that it can be transmitted airborne, so just breathing the same air with me is dangerous. So, how is this really for others? Am I not putting them in danger even as I claim to be working on their behalf?
Well, yes. But my Master sought people who were not convenient. I read of Him going where He was out of place. Sure there is the risk that what I have is able to be spread to my team, but I have measures I can take. The need out weighs the risk.
The other reason I go is because I am not sure that I will be able to last all day. I go because I know I can at least make a start on my duties. I hope to last all day, but I will need to balance that with how effective I am being versus how dangerous I am being.
What I really want is a new powerful vision of Jesus. I want a vision of my Master that causes me to fall down as if dead. I have seen things that have taken my breath away, but a vision of Him I still lack. I want the effect of driving out fear, the effect of grounding faith so that I can move on to higher ground of belief and experience.
It all sounds very dramatic and impressive, but my Master has lots of other ways to draw me deeper into Him. My imagination failed to see the option from my work which He brought into play. He may not decide to provide that way, but it was a reminder and an assurance that He will provide. That was something less dramatic which took me into deeper faith with Him. I can rest in the promise that He has my back, and walk obediently in peace.
I will go into work and see what happens. I may stay or I may not. I will obey the prompting of my Master and leave or stay at His command. Perhaps on the way there or once there I will be given the gift of a vision of Him. Or perhaps, I will know the peaceful grace of assurance of His care. It’s a win-win day of blessing ahead for me.
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