Last night, my wife and I discussed again what purpose my Master might have for us here. We again went over the process my Master used to bring us here, how He made it unmistakable that it was His design all along, and that we still had not gotten a clear understanding of why. Then, this morning, I work through several verses of a familiar story, but this time in Mark, and it's missing the account of Peter walking on the water, just Jesus. I'm thinking that is what Chambers will discuss, but instead he discusses the purpose of my Master.
What Chambers says is that the purpose of Jesus hustling the disciples into the boat while He dismissed the crowds was so He could glorify Himself before them by walking on water. It was not so they could reach the other side. It wasn't the end of the journey, it was the journey. I have been looking for something coming and not paying enough attention to right now. Right now in my job, my manager is facing a looming deadline (tomorrow) with a team that is behind on sales. So, the only thing she can control is how much time we spend calling out. So she ratchets it up as high as she can and still cover incoming calls. The marching orders at the moment on this calling-out process are to call through two lists, one of which is huge. So the result is that I'm not getting to my follow up calls. I know I'm supposed to balance this, but I'm struggling with the balance. To make the number of calls wanted on those lists, I don't get to my follow up calls.
On the home front, I have some in-wall wiring to get done, and less than a month to figure out how to do it. It's all in the attic, and the attic is totally filled with blown insulation. It is getting hot now and very uncomfortable up there. Some of the wires are pre-plugged, so are really big and hard to get through the holes in gang boxes, and up through the existing holes in the upper wall caps. One is in the outer wall, under a soffit vent (cardboard stapled between roof joists to allow air to attic vents in the soffits), where the roof is the closest to the ceiling. This is not my thing, and I don't really understand how to do it. But, I have to, partly to ensure I maintain accountability while working. My sobriety doesn't depend on me completing this task, but my stress level will really abate once it's finished (I have discovered that accountability I can't control brings me peace).
In addition, my daughter is away at camp, and has been gone for two weeks. She doesn't really call (partly our fault), so we don't exactly know how she's doing. She hasn't sounded good on the phone the few times we have had a chance to talk to her. We're concerned, and I miss her tremendously.
So, what am I looking ahead to find? I am looking ahead to see what sort of ministry my Master has for me, what is it I will be doing here for His Kingdom. We are looking for a church home. I want my daughter to come home. The advice of Chambers is to…"STOP IT!" I'm supposed to focus on what I do now, today, the obedience in the moment. And since my Master has only shown me pieces at a time along the way, why would that change now? He revealed work only after I relinquished it. He showed me coming here only after I resigned myself to staying there. The pattern has been revelation following resignation, and looking forward beyond the moment hasn't worked. So, I guess today I will focus on today, on calls, on customers, on enjoying the presence of my wife, the dogs, and listening every moment for what my Master has for me. I have a short to-do list, only one item: whatever my Master has me to do now. Since right now is work, that's the one item. Later it will be whatever later holds. As the Serenity Prayer says, "Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time." Focus on now, be ready for whatever. Got it.
No comments:
Post a Comment