Sometimes, my obedience to Jesus, when common sense seems ignored, is really hard. For instance, the rule of turning the other cheek, or loving enemies, or blessing in return for curses (especially when you know the perfect retort) all seem counter-intuitive. Why should I allow myself to be a door mat? But then there are things like not being concerned with the basics stuff of life like food, shelter, clothing, and so on. Not being motivated by these also seems counter-intuitive.
The text of John 11:7-8 comes at the beginning of one of my favorite stories of Jesus. His friend, Lazarus, has become sick and dies. Jesus hears of it when Lazarus is still able to be healed from the sickness but waits until he dies, and several days past that death. The disciples hear Jesus say that this sickness will not end in death, see Jesus delay several days, and conclude that He is concerned with His own safety. There are those who would stone Him if He were to return to Judea. So, their response of, “Rabbi, now the Jews seek to stone You, will You depart for there again?” makes some sense if I look at Jesus’ actions along with them, and limit my understanding and knowledge of Jesus to what they would have been able to know.
But looking at Jesus along with them in this way is also illuminates a problem in my own relationship with Jesus. I have a better view of Jesus since I have the whole story of His life and am not living it as it happens. I know why and where He is going. And yet, knowing what I do, I still feel a desire to hedge my bets with my Master. I feel a sense of discomfort in walking over what I know to be thin ice with Him without at least wearing a dry suit with scuba tanks. After all the water’s cold under there. But if I believe He can not only walk on water, but call me to do so as well, should ice then be a problem, regardless of how thin it might be?
Jesus has given some instruction to me and radical obedience to it may cost me my job. So far, nominal obedience to it hasn’t but what if I step it up a notch? I’m not supposed to turn my cubical into a “shrine” but what if I did make every aspect of my life point to Him, including my workspace? My work code of conduct prohibits such religious expression, and I signed it demonstrating my understanding of it. So is it right to decorate my cubical like some shrine to the worship of Jesus? Actually, I believe that it depends. I believe something like that done for show is silly and only draws negative attention to the person rather than positive attention to Jesus.
I believe that there are things in Scripture to which I need to be obedient daily, and I don’t. I don’t hand out cash or change to beggars at street corners, and I am suspicious of them when I spot their partner under a tree across the street, see them “working” a spot. I am somewhat offended when I see Jesus’ name on their placard when I am fairly certain they know little of Him. But I don’t know that. Jesus didn’t ask me to do background checks on beggars before being His hands and feet to reach out to them. And there are other things I can do besides money. My wife once put together packs of water, food, and some basic supplies and had them in the car with her. She would hand them that instead. No background check required.
Do I question Jesus when I sense He has asked me to do something? Do I suspect His understanding has lagged when I don’t understand what He has asked me to do? Do I hesitate and look back at Him to make sure that this is it really, or will You catch my arm as you did Abraham over Isaac? Do I trust Him, really? My honest answer can be no better than “sometimes” unfortunately. That is the best I can muster and still be honest, but really it might be more honest to say “occasionally” or even “rarely.” So, how do I improve this honest answer?
The only way I know to improve my honest answer is to read the Bible more thoroughly, and practice trust in Jesus in the things I find in the Bible. I trust that they are true, but also trust that He will remain the same faithful God I read about in Scripture. It’s hard not see some of these passages and think that was for then, but this is now. Or think that He has somehow stopped working the same way because we are so much more aware of our world now, less superstitious, more scientific, smarter, hog wash. He is the same God then, now, and forever. But that is easy to say sitting in the quiet of my dining room writing this blog, before a grueling workout, crazy senseless drive to work, and the booting up of my work PC. Wait until these things, and praise Him. Or even perhaps praise Him in the midst of them. That is how I change my honest answers. Well, off I go, wish me…successful practice.
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