Thursday, March 3, 2011

Shepherding Flocks in the Pasture

Once Peter feels the pang of grief over the third question, he is told a third time to guide Jesus' sheep to pasture.  Each of the three times is slightly different as are the questions about Peter's love for Jesus.  Each of the commands combines lambs and sheep, tending and shepherding.  Each command  is given after Peter claims to love Jesus.  Just as Peter's restoration of his relationship to Jesus required three questions to offset the three denials, it also required three commands, or commissions.  Just as each of the questions were repetitions, so were the commands.  The questions, answers, and commands all went together, and all were part of restoring Peter.

I doubt that Jesus really needed either the questions or the command, or the repetition for that matter.  I believe that He accepted Peter just as he was, staring into the fire, dejected, feeling the shame and pain of his denial of the One who was feeding him a fish breakfast.  I believe it was Peter who needed the questions, and the commands.  I think he felt neither fit for Jesus' company nor for leading the group of believers, let alone real lambs and sheep.  Jesus' countered each denial with a question and a command.  The three showed Peter that Jesus knew about Peter's denial.  Peter realized that "all things" included his three denials.  So Jesus knew and He still shared fish with Peter; He still asked Peter to tend the sheep; He still wanted a relationship with Peter.  I think it was that realization that caused the hurt for Peter.

For me, as I sit with them on the beach around the fire, feeling both the chill of the morning air, and warmth of the fire, I wonder what questions will Jesus combine with what commands.  Or will He work in a different way with the different person that I am to ensure that I know that He accepts me and still calls me to serve?  So, do I wander out into the pasture and begin guiding sheep?  Do I sit by the fire and listen for the questions and commands?  Do I begin my morning with the acceptance of Jesus' acceptance of me, and wander into work, through the maze of rush-hour traffic, and work with the fellow sheep in our pens (also known as cubicles)?  Is it the day I already have, or a new day with a new set of tasks?

Right now, it is the day I already have.  I wait, which means that things are not changing yet.  I wait on my Master, the One sustaining the vast Universe He has created and continues to create, which includes bowing before Him in reference (also known as worship).  I wait while living in my current circumstances, which means that I walk through these circumstances which make up my life in the presence of my Master, always aware of His proximity, constant attention, and care.  So the day rolls on, and the frustrations with my circumstances are to be set aside as the minor distractions that they are.  I am called out of my black-and-blue funk of self-deprecating shame into the bright orange, yellow, and white light of the glory of my Master.  "Matt, do you love me more than these?"  These feelings, not just the other people around the fire; these perceptions and imaginings; these repeated mental film reels of my failure; do I love Him more than these?  "You know I love You."  "Then, _______ ."  What goes in the blank?  Today, the blank is filled with...  I may need to get back to you on that one.

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