It is not hard to find modern stories of martyrs. The abundance of persecuted believers is well documented. So, when I read a challenge to be ready to give up everything, willing to endure anything, and to stand on nothing but Jesus, I always seem to evaluate that challenge from the comfort of an over-stuffed chair.
In 2 Timothy, Paul ends his letter to his "son in the faith" by saying he is ready to die. Oswald Chambers asks in response if I am ready (yeah, I take it personally. Am I not supposed to?) to be poured out as a drink offering. He gave these speeches to missionary students in Egypt. There the challenge made sense because they were on the verge of making good on that challenge. Here, many years later, in my comfy chair, typing on a nice laptop, not so much.
The issue for me is this, "talk is cheap" as the cliche so aptly puts it. I can say that I am ready, but the challenges are much less than my life. I have already endured scandalously low wages, the condemnation of my fellow believers, futility in ministry, and the shame of failure. Big deal. To consider that as comparable to being poured out as a drink offering seems whiny. Believers in the Sudan, Egypt, Iraq, Indonesia, India, and so many other nations would consider my level of sacrifice blessing; and probably confusing ("You got paid for that? Wow!")
So, I can safely say that, yes, I have surrendered my will to endure whatever God puts me through, including another paid ministry position. I do so with the understanding that talk is indeed cheap, and the saying costs me little. But I am ready to pay the consequences. I am ready to go, and I am ready to stay if that is what God wants. The house is on the market, no job changes are in sight, and little has happened to clarify what God wants of me beyond surrender. So, I will take that step and surrender, and wait. That is what I will do today. Tomorrow...will take care of itself, each day has enough trouble of its own.
And what if, He sees we are sincere in our surrender, and He waits also. How long are we willing to live in a mode of sincere surrender with seemingly no response from Him? Are we going to become angry at some point? Are we going to give up on Him after a good long while? Are we willing to trust Him no matter how long it takes for Him to speak? Are we willing to live out our days in humility before Him, surrendered and devoted to prayer and meditation on His Word, without the assurance of anything more in regard to the work we do now? How do we use each day to be the witness He's called us to be? How do we bring him glory in our common jobs? How do we affect the lives of those we talk to every day? Can we live in what we call the "waiting place" forever and be completely satisfied with Him? Will we have peace and even joy living like that? To what extent are we willing to trust Him? How much of me am I willing to lay on the altar before Him? I feel like He asks me these questions. Thank you for reminding me that "talk is cheap" and that I must be willing to die for Him. More difficult is it to die to our expectations and our comforts than to physically die and be done with this world. Your writing blesses me.
ReplyDeleteOK you two, this is so cool for us to have these words to read and inspire each other. I love the KOTR and SOTK I was sharing with a couple of groups just this last week about our lack as American Christians, of knowing and responding to Royalty. We don't know what it is to give reverence and fear to our King because we don't know His awesome power and authority, not really or we would live differently. We have taken on a relationship with God and Jesus that is casual and friendly.
ReplyDeleteWe don't know what it is to sacrifice and we don't worry about our very lives being taken for our faith. We live way too comfortably and safe to understand any of what the early Christians and those in closed counties deal with on a daily basis.
This topic of surrender to and waiting on Him has been a life style for us for years. Not out of that reverence but because we have learned our lives are in His control whether we try to surrender or try to run and hide. So why not kneel before Him and wait for as long as He sees fit. He's our King and our lives are in the palm of His hand. I will wait because I've learned His plan is always better and anything I try on my own. My human plan fails and embarrasses my feeble human effort. But you are right Matt, "words are cheap" and my daily reaction to stupid petty things is the proof of my real surrender and submission to Him. I say things as a matter of head knowledge but Satan tests our emotions and I must confess, my tongue can wag before my heart is focused on the godly response.
I can't believe I'm still awake...good-nite,I hope I make sense. Vanessa
I love the dialog! Thank you my "big sisters". And yes, you make sense. I have learned some very important lessons about devotion in hardship from you and Jim. Blessings upon you!
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