In 1 Corinthians 4, Paul briefly describes what he endured in ministry. sometimes from those he ministered to. He poses this discussion in verses 9 through 13 in terms of how bad off he is compared to the church in Corinth. He is really slamming them, but what he says is rather sobering to anyone considering ministry as a vocation.
I have endured in ministry. I have suffered pain, relationally, emotionally, and spiritually. But not to that degree. I left ministry and never returned to that vocation, never wanting to put myself and my family in that dependent relationship again. I shut myself off from that avenue of God's provision. And why not? My ministry model, Jeremiah, was considered the "Weeping Prophet", Paul here complains of being homeless, reviled, dispised, weak, all the time returning blessing to those who curse.
Yes, I caved. I turned away from such a vocation. I sought the independent manner of ministry, that did not require an investment in those ministered to. I worked from a distance rather from close by. I still worked, I still ministered, I still cared for people, listened, gave biblical insight, and spoke the word of God. I still did the work of proclamation, I just did not submit to a paycheck. I did not put myself at the mercy of those I ministered to.
I think God wants my complete submission to Him. Which means that I need to accept the possibility that God may call me and my family again into that dependent position. I am not comfortable with that, but I do not want anything to stand between myself and God. I do not want to make my security and the security of my family my idol. These are things I can't really control anyway. Jobs are never sure, security is never sure, nothing that can be taken away by a random drunk driver should stand between myself and God.
For if I give those things to God, then they are more secure than I could ever make them. The peace I lack would be found in giving those relationships, people, and things to the One who truly has power over them. Wow, do I have some work ahead of me.
Hmm...Looks like this ride may get a little more interesting!!
ReplyDeleteOk, Lord...lead on!
In today's economy, bi-vocational pastoring is pretty much common. There are more ministers out there looking for positions then there are positions. And, more churches have members with less money to contribute because they themselves are struggling to find jobs...so...all that to say you don't have to be at their mercy...you are at God's mercy. More blessings to you if you have a job that will carry you, so you can minister to those who can't afford a full-time pastor! Jim is struggling to know his next direction too...he's almost 57 and a heart patient...who wants that kind of pastor? God has a plan and I don't have to worry, we just have to get free from indebtedness. I don't need a house, a car, or a bunch of things...just a place to sleep (comfortably, I'm 54) and something to do! Hang in there life's a journey I keep my expectations low and my anticipation high! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteIronically, I figure I am well suited to bi-vocational ministry, and that was actually my initial intent going into ministry. I just don't want to wall myself off from some avenue God might want to use.
ReplyDelete