When Jesus
is in Caesarea Philippi, He asks the disciples who they believe Him to be, and
Peter declares that Jesus is the Messiah.
Then, when Jesus tells them of His coming death and resurrection, Peter
rebukes Jesus. Jesus’ answer back to
Peter we know for it is stronger than we expect, “Get behind me Satan!” And juxtaposed with his recent declaration
the rebuke of Peter is shocking, in fact, so shocking, another very familiar
statement of Jesus is normally left out here and taken later on its own.
Jesus speaks
of the cost of discipleship by telling them that, “if anyone would come after
Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.” Not only is Peter wrong about Jesus, but he
is wrong about following this Messiah he has just confessed. The statement is part of the left hook
following the hard right to Peter’s chin.
Jesus is losing His life, and the disciples are to follow along after
Him. This is one of those statements of
Jesus that take a lot of the fun out of being the famous “Twelve” of
Jesus.
It’s the
same today for me. Sure I like being
thought of as a disciple of Jesus. I’m not
sure I like the whole “deny yourself and pick up your cross…” part so
much. I know that “my cross” is not so
much stuff I don’t like, as much as it is not having stuff I do. But it’s more than that. A cross is a means of execution, not decoration. To take up my cross is to embrace my own
execution. I think, like Chambers, that
the application for me is more of a denial of my natural tendencies toward
self-centered living. But I’m not saying
that it does not exclude actual execution.
Right now, execution for my belief isn’t so immanent…right now.
What is
immanent is the living breathing self-centered Matt. The Matt who is entitled to stuff, who
believes that he has earned blessings, who behaves as if everyone should both
understand and agree with him, this is the Matt who must die on his cross. For those reasons, and a hundred others, the
Matt-centered universe must self-destruct (it’s small, no one will really miss
it). What I really don’t like is the
carrying-by-choice method involved. I
would rather be killed outright rather than drag this painful event out, and
through my own participation too. Death
by cross is humiliating, so my “reputation” goes in the incinerator as well. Such fun.
Paul did it,
Peter finally did it (once he had the Holy Spirit), Stephen, and a bunch of
them who endured prison, torture, and other oppression for their Master. They did it in very obvious public ways. I have to do it in more interior yet still
public ways. And I really mean I must. I have to because I am following Jesus. It’s just that I look more like the
ever-distracted hound, rarely on the path, usually sniffing and marking trees
to either side. I sort of follow rather
than heel as I should. I must die to my
entitlements, my claim to anything about or for myself. I must become the set dressing on the stage
of life, and let my Master emerge center.
Death to
Matty! Viva la Christos!
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