This entry in MUFHH seems to complete the one from April 6. That focused on the cross, and this on the resurrection. Chambers uses the passage from the disciples on the road to Emaus again, but only to introduce the resurrection as part of the Messiah’s work. The rest of the entry refers to Paul’s views on the meaning of the resurrection.
Today, I am struggling with the emotions from a spike and then plateau in my weight. I have been enjoying a sense of control over food and my body that I have not felt for many years. One bad eating day and one day without effect, and I am depressed. How fragile is my emotional state? I will loose focus on what my Master has given me, and how much that has cost because my control over my body is irregular and probably illusory.
My Master has been raised and given me this life of resurrection. His very Spirit resides in me, a slum compared with His usual residence. I have this unimaginable connection to my Master available to me, but really active within me to change me. When I am obedient to Him, He makes adjustments to my world view, my actions, my attitude, my very soul to make me more like Jesus. But my weight is what I focus on.
So, in selfishness, I make it sound like I have been listening for God, enjoying communion with Him, and writing from a connection to my Master. But in reality, my buoyancy has been from personal success I claim for myself regarding weight loss. Jesus rises from the dead and I miss standing in the garden waiting for Him because I’m focused on the scale and the menu of the day.
Well, that’s wrong. My place is in the garden. I belong in the place from where my Master will emerge, to watch and wait for a newness of life. I wait for a life I can barely imagine, but which I can begin enjoying now. And He invites me there. I may have gained weight, lost control for a time, and threatened something I have enjoyed for several months, but my Master loves me, He has my back, and He calls me into His service. The solution to the problem of how I feel is to focus on Jesus. Let my eating be a devotion or sacrifice to Him. I can let myself be free from slavery to the scale. I know I do not need to eat until over stuffed. That is pampering (which code for worshipping) the taste centers of my brain in order to feel better in the emotional conduits. It’s a chemical dependency, another form of something from which I am enjoying some freedom. It really just moved.
The reality is that my Master is far more satisfying than any food. Perhaps I need to “fast” from the scale for a few days. It would really be fasting from my attachment to the sense of control I feel and on which I have been relying. That would probably be a better sacrifice. One which would place me more in the hands of my Master. That is a much safer place to be than slim. Raised to walk away from the old sense of control into a newness of life dependent upon my Master and His Spirit.
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