Today’s entry is a hard one. I think it’s hard because it was distilled down and I am missing some explanation. On the other hand, what is left is succinctly on point. First, my Master will bring me into circumstances where my faith in Him is tested against actualities (difficulties where I do not sense His blessings). Second, my focus will be tested in the same circumstances to determine if it is on Him or on His blessings (am I a mercenary follower).
The passage in John 16 is part of a discourse where Jesus is trying to prepare His disciples for His coming execution by crucifixion. He has been trying to get across the event, but also the meaning. Both seem to be missing them. In verse 32, Jesus is responding to their claim to “finally believe” or “understand”. He replies with “Really? The hour has arrived when you will scatter and abandon me alone.” How’s that for a tough response? Jesus sees through their pretense, through their own denial and inability to see themselves, and into their ability to connect their faith with the actual circumstances they will face. The ability is not there. He knows this and brings them into it anyway. He does so because He also knows that these twelve will then have the faith to take the good news of His the work He is about to do to the very ends of the known world, and beyond.
My Master is still working with my faith in actualities. Am I tied to my beliefs about how He must work, and is my understanding of that work driven by my desires? Or have I reached the point beyond saying that “He works however He likes and I will follow” and actually living that statement out? Have I focused past the blessings to the One blessing? When I tell my Master that “You love me, You have my back, and I am at Your service,” does that statement then reach into actual events of my day? I believe that at this point, to a large extent, it does. But an hour comes and has come when that faith is tested in actual events that I can not predict, do not understand, and where I am completely at His mercy.
We have an apartment and storage unit, but we also have an appeal by family for help. This transition is no longer about whether or not to enable family members to relax in happy luxury, it is now about assisting aging parents. Now the decision to stay or go is no longer easy, but it seems clearer. The marks previously used have been superseded by the appeal. Now the Scripture compelling me to take care of my own household applies as it did not before. So, the call appears to be to leave what has been achieved here, minor and major levels of success, and start over socially and economically.
This is the actual set of circumstances I am in. Where is my faith? Do I follow the blessings I have enjoyed here, or follow my Master into a hard life? Well, I hope McDonalds is hiring where we’re going.
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