Seeing death as relational rather than physical I thought was pretty radical. But it makes even more sense when I put sin in the same relational basket. Now the reason death is relational is explained. If sin is choosing independence from the Master of the universe, then sin would be death; being out of relationship with the Master of the universe. On the other hand, since I can’t bridge the gulf in that relationship, I would have to be dependent upon what the Universal Master would do on my behalf. So, Jesus is the solution placed before me. The terms, “redemption” and “rebellion” now fit better into my understanding of the solution and problem with the world.
I don’t like dependence. I don’t like going to the doctor or dentist for that reason and more. I don’t like not being able to direct my destiny. But, on the other hand, by giving up my independence and my destiny to the Universal Master, I gain access to Him. So which is better, directing my destiny on this lump of space rock, or sitting down with the One having created space and everything in it and learning about Him? Sure, as an American, I want independence, I was born to it, I have a sense of entitlement to it. But I have another human condition which places me independent where I was never intended to be. I belong in a garden.
So, when I consider the solution of the Universal Master to this human condition, I see a burden as massive as the shear crush of history and future of the human creatures crawling over this terrestrial ball. All that hereditary isolation from the Creator, couched in the terms of independence, was summed up and consumed in the penalty paid by my Master. For me, the event of Jesus’ death is more than an event of physical suffering; the physical suffering was almost a parable compared to the unthinkable amount of suffering at its climatic end. When my Master, having revealed Himself as Three, suffers a separation within Himself, then suffering is redefined, and I cannot wrap my mind around the enormity of it. That separation is the undeserved, substitutionary death which bought my access back into the garden.
But I’m not there yet. This redemption I have gained the benefit of which was so expensive is not yet complete. So, here in this place, I am directed to model my life after this indescribable gift. I have been redeemed, and I am to live in this universe as such. What does that look like as I relate to my wife, my daughter, my friends here in this community, and my church? Claiming to understand life and death, dependence and sin, blessings and curses is all well and good. But understanding is borne out in living. If I really understand, then I will live in this world. If I behave as if I’m dead, then what do I really understand? And why do would I live as if I were dead? For me, it is usually out of fear. How ridiculous is that? I have life but am afraid to live because of what the dead people might think. Really? Seriously?
I am a fool, that much is clear. I just need to become fine with being a fool for my Master, considered such by the dead around me. I have spent too much time being a fool before my Master, acting foolish in His eyes. How much that has cost me I will not know until I give an account of myself before His throne, but one day I will know. The irony that strikes me to the heart is that, even as I played the fool, His love and grace never waivered. He hated the sight of what I did, yet His love and desire for me never dimmed. Even in those times, He had my back, keeping me from the deadly deep waters around which I played. He kept me from things I can’t imagine, and the enemy was never able to snatch me from His hand. Unbelievable, yet I am a testimony to its truth.
Today, my wife and daughter head to the Sierra Nevada’s for a weekend retreat. I will be here holding the home for their return. I will be alone in one sense, but I will be communing with the Universal Master in another. The question is will I give into my compulsion for independence or will I surrender my right to myself to my Master. It’s easy to choose life on the front end of the day, in the beauty and cool of the dawn. It is another to hold that choice in the heat of the afternoon when reality bears down hard. I hope to be able to post tomorrow that I enjoyed victory in my Master today, and then to post that again on Sunday. That’s what I hope, I pray for that hope to be a fertile seedbed for faith, and that faith to lead me to love as I am loved. Life is relational, and so my Master leads me to live. I may be visiting you later, just humor me, I’m following the lead of my Master; I’m just not as graceful at it as He is.
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