Is The Silence of my Master Good or Just Fine?

I have never considered the silence of my Master in answer to prayer as a gracious gift.  I now know better to wait and rest in those times, I had to in Texas before moving west.  But even then, I wouldn’t have characterized the silence as a gift.  It was more frustrating even then.

I believe my Master is able to handle my frustrations, but frustrations are not the best way to grow deeper with Him.  I learned that in the silence is peace, and when the turmoil of life is what I bring to Him, peace is exactly what I need.  If it comes in the silences of my Master then I will take it that way, but I would rather find peace in His words and attention.

It’s not that in the silence I don’t have His attention.  What I don’t have is the communication of either His direction or perspective.  In some sense I have to operate on the last command given, resting in the assurance that when a new one is needed, He will give it.  In another sense I have to rest in the basics of worship, prayer, and Bible reading.  I do those things to be ready to hear when He speaks, not so He will speak.

I understand more of what can be found in silence in and through the silence of my Master, but I don’t know I would characterize what I find as more profound or grander than at other times.  I find that I’m really strong enough to endure the silence because I have a history with Him to rely on.  I have found that my Master is present with me even in the silence, although I have to trust that rather than rely on feelings or other senses.

I have to admit that even in writing about my Master I still feel the presence of the desires of my flesh.  My wife has just left on a long trip or sequence of trips, and the loneliness is saddening.  I texted a friend of mine who helps me through these times, relying on someone else in my weakness.  It is my Master who provided him, and it is an act of faith to reach out to him.  It is also a confession of weakness, and therefore very important to do.  I can’t forget that I am weak, or I will never be able to find that peace in the silences of my Master.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 11