More Going On Than Donkeys

Then Saul approached Samuel in the gate and said, "Please tell me where the seer's house is."  Samuel answered Saul and said, "I am the seer. Go up before me to the high place, for you shall eat with me today; and in the morning I will let you go, and will tell you all that is on your mind.  As for your donkeys which were lost three days ago, do not set your mind on them, for they have been found. And for whom is all that is desirable in Israel? Is it not for you and for all your father's household?"  Saul replied, "Am I not a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin? Why then do you speak to me in this way?"  Then Samuel took Saul and his servant and brought them into the hall and gave them a place at the head of those who were invited, who were about thirty men. (1 Samuel 9:18-22 NASB)

 Saul and his servant go up to find Samuel in the city where they wind up while looking for his father's donkeys.  As they ask Samuel for the way to find Samuel, his answer to them has to be baffling.  They are trying to get some idea of what to do about their quest to find lost donkeys.  Samuel's answer reveals that there is a lot more going on than lost donkeys.

I read this, and it's easy to blaze right over it without thinking about what was in Saul's mind.  He gets such a bad rap in Scripture that we tend to discount him and not wonder that deeply about the events from his perspective.  That's really a dangerous error to make, because I find that I can fall into similar traps as he did very easily.  I need to learn from him what not to do, what I can do differently to avoid the things he did to finally become rejected by God.

So, here, Saul is baffled.  It is evident in his response to Samuel.  But I wonder about what else is in his mind.  he doesn't seem to mind eating with Samuel, doesn't have any qualms about eating the choice cut of meet, or spending the evening with Samuel.  He seems to be willing to forget donkeys at the moment, and go with his circumstances.  So he is baffled, but not put off. 

I have to remember his pedigree here.  He's handsome, so he's probably used to getting attention.  He's tall, so he rarely escapes attention.  His dad is a "mighty man of valor" so he's used to tough brave talk, fighting, and so on.  So, on the surface, yes, he's from the smallest tribe, but Benjamin was also a "preferred" tribe since Benjamin was a favorite of Jacob.  Sure his family may be the smallest of Benjamin, but his dad is known, and so is he.  My point is that Saul may be baffled, but he's probably not entirely out of his element.

I'm not sure why this is important, or even if it is, but I want to spend some time making sure.  Do I need to learn that I should be more uncomfortable with attention?  Do I need to be less judgmental when I run across someone who isn't uncomfortable with attention?  Is Saul wrong here?  Is he demonstrating a lack of humility?  Should I be wary of such attention?  It's not like "acting humble" works.  I'm either humble or I'm not in a given situation.

I guess what I take away from this is not to jump to conclusions too quickly.  If, looking at this situation from the perspective of what I know about his later failures, I say that here he's showing a lack of humility, then I also am being harder on him than I would be on myself.  I know my context, how I change and learn from one event to the next.  Why not give this character the same opportunity?  What if he's simply going with the flow, which is part of his undoing later.  That's a very different problem than pride.  Sometimes it's not a "problem" at all; sometimes it's a sign of faith.  The difference is in the context.

The thing is that I really don't know. The question is, can I be okay with that, and not try to pretend I do know?  So often the context is missing, so how could I really know?  But I bow to the idol I create of how I think others think of me, and try to play the educated person, the knowledgeable person.  Whether I pull it off or not is irrelevant.  That I try is the idolatrous practice indicating an idol in my life; something that has replaced my Master in my heart.  Defeating this evil, that brings true humility, and I won't have to act humble, it will simply be part of who I am.  That would be nice.  Now where did I put my idol-smashing hammer?  It was just here.