I'm not going to paste the entire chapter here, for thing I think it violates copyright laws. But I encourage anyone reading this to first read that whole chapter before reading the rest of this. A lot of this won't make sense without first being freshly familiar with this chapter. I thought I was familiar with it enough, and yet still, working through it again brought new stuff. Go read that first and then come back to this.
Welcome back...if you're honest anyway. If not, go read the chapter.
The essence of this chapter is that kings (possibly including the famous king, Hammarabi) from the region of Mesopotamia (Iraq, possibly Syria), attacked the area on the East side of the Jordan River. They got to nearly everyone in that region, including the cities along the valley floor (except for Jericho...which is really weird). After defeating all those kingdoms, they meet the kings of Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah (Edom), Zeboim (Gazelles), and Bela (Zoar) by the Dead Sea.
It's a rout, and every survivor of the Dead Sea region flees to the hills. The victorious kings plunder the area, including Sodom, and take Lot and his stuff captive. Not a lot of the battle is described, just the first part and the running away part. The reason for the campaign in this region seems to be the rebellion of the Dead Sea Kings against the King of Elam with whom they had a covenant (one not in their favor). When they didn't pay their tribute, they got away with it for a year, then the armies came from the east.
One of the survivors fleeing to the hills comes to Abram in Hebron. Hearing what happened to Lot, he doesn't hesitate, but takes off with three of his friends and all the "tried" men of his household (318) and takes off after the four victorious kings. All it says is that he catches up with them at Dan, divides his forces, attacks at night, and pursues them to North of Damascus. Abram wins. All the other kings and cities fail, but he, the nomad-sheep-and-cattle-herder, succeeds; and chases them half-way home.
This may seem rather incredible, it does to me. He doesn't even hesitate, though. It does not seem he had any doubt about what to do. It was insurmountable, very foolish, and clearly hopeless, but he does it anyway. It was as if, since family was involved, he willingly went to his doom out of family honor. I sort of wonder if Sarai was thinking about how she might get back down to Egypt to see Pharaoh when Abram didn't return.
I somehow doubt there was any doubt though. I don't think there was any concern that they might not succeed, in spite of the success record of their enemies. Abram was confident enough to bring his four new friends, brothers with whom he had an alliance. And they were confident enough to go with him. Where did this confidence come from? Where do I get a dose of that?
Back in chapter 12, God promises Abram protection. Abram has seen it at work in Egypt, and along the way as he traveled. He may have known these kings from the region he was raised in and left not long ago. And he knew his God. In comparison, he saw there was really no comparison. So, he had his relationship with his King and experience in that relationship.
I have that experience. I have seen my Master care for me in ways I couldn't imagine. I have seen Him make ends meet that I didn't even know existed; connect dots I couldn't see to draw between. Recently I have seen that my Master is Master over all the things I care about, and over all things I don't. I am learning slowly to relinquish my desire to make happen what I believe needs to happen. Instead, I simply need to do what I see He wants done. He loves me, He has my back, and I am at His service. I am free to serve, and to be used by Him to accomplish His purposes, or at least I should be.
But being that available requires me to constantly give up my causes, priorities, and my purposes. That's hard for me. It's hard in my family, in my job, and in my church. I want to right wrongs, and fix peoples misconceptions, and build faith! Not my job, that's my Master's job. I may see a need or a lack, and my Master may be leading me to address it, but not to "fix" it. He wants to use me to fix it. I'm not the faith-mechanic, I'm the faith-wrench. I don't get to choose one day to be a "wrench" and another an "impact wrench" or "hammer-drill". Again, my Master chooses how to use me, and what for. I still try to be some sort of dramatic hero, but that's not my role. I'm scenery, set dressing, and props. He is the Star, the Hero.
I was reminded this weekend that I'm not the one making happen what I see needs to happen. I may see what needs to happen, but my role is not the doer, but one of the ones used to do it. But I can't be used in that role if I keep trying to take control and be the one doing. To be used, I have to let go of control. I'm trying. I'm struggling with it, but I'm trying. Oh Master, please help me, and once again, be patient while I wrestle with my selfish ambition. I will bring it to you captive, I will. And I will try to hurry; there's work to be done, and You have a use for me I'm missing.
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