How Close to Sodom Do I Get?

They also took Lot, Abram's nephew, and his possessions and departed, for he was living in Sodom. (Genesis 14:12 NASB)

Lot had moved from his tents and flocks on the valley floor near Sodom to actually living in Sodom.  This move made he and his stuff "plunder" and he was carried off by the kings of the east.  He saw the "good green land" and in spite of its proximity to Sodom, chose that.  He pitched his tents near Sodom, out of all the region of the valley.  And one chapter later he's in the city itself.

It's easy for me to point to Lot, and cluck my tongue, and shake my head, and think, "What an idiot", but am I that critical of myself?  If I look at my life, in the past and even now, have I chosen the "good green land" where it looks easy to make a living?  Have I ignored the influence of evil the sight of my Master so I could provide for my lifestyle easier?  Did I decide to pitch my tents, out of all the area I chose to live in, right next to the evil influence; away from the joy of my Master? 

Fernley used to be the fasted growing city in the nation.  It's now one of the most (if not the most) economically depressed cities/communities in Nevada, one of the most economically depressed states.  From Hero to Zero in less than three years.  It easy for me to look at the obvious mistakes of the area, the over building, the excessive amount of "investment property" and the over-growth of certain types of businesses (7 pizza joints, and no donut shop - that just confuses me).  Yet, what about my life, and my choices?

I chose to bail on ministry back in Y2K, (remember that?), and I probably should not have.  I chose to leave school instead of pursuing a PhD, and I probably should have stayed and gone into teaching.  I moved to California to get back into ministry only to have it unravel before it even began.  I probably should not have done that either.  Yet, I left ministry to protect my family; I left school because I was champing at the bit to get at what I had trained 10 years for; and I left Arizona to try and fix my past mistakes, and get back into the ministry I had left.  Nothing I tried worked very well.

When I was in ministry, the people tore me and my wife up emotionally.  When I was out of ministry and taking care of our home, I was in deep depression and nearly useless.  When I failed to get back into ministry I wound up in whatever job I could find, which turned out to be a huge mortgage company (which is now no longer in existence). 

I can focus on my mistakes, ones I've mentioned and the ones I haven't.  I can, but I don't have to.  If I continue to take Lot as my example, there will be a time when he has another chance to choose.  He could live with nothing or return to his uncle.  He chose to live with nothing in a cave with his two daughters.  He hit bottom and still refused to repent.  I need to learn from his example rather than following it. 

Sure I can see my mistakes, but I also have a Master willing to receive me back.  It's my responsibility to return.  That means admitting I have been wrong, submitting to my Master, and again taking up the role of walking before Him.  He has called me to wait on His word, worship Him as Master, and walk before Him as His servant.  Now, whatever job I am in becomes a ministry, whatever church group I am in becomes an opportunity for worship, and whenever I am confronted with confusion I have an opportunity for instruction.  Where shall I go today, my Master?