After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram's wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight. And Sarai said to Abram, "May the wrong done me be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, but when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her sight. May the LORD judge between you and me." But Abram said to Sarai, "Behold, your maid is in your power; do to her what is good in your sight." So Sarai treated her harshly, and she fled from her presence. (Genesis 16:3-6 NASB)
I have often wondered about Sarai's character, here and in other passages. I have wondered what she knew and understood about her husband's faith, and wondered whether she shared it overly much. This passage is one of those small windows into her character. But it only provides a small glimpse of what kind of woman she was.
She arranges the surrogate mother thing between Abram and her maid, Hagar. He complies, and it works. But Hagar doesn't follow the program, instead, treating Sarai as if the child will belong to Hagar. Sarai, doesn't deal with Hagar as a lady to her maid, but goes to Abram. It's an interesting move, that may give insight into the household relationships. To someone from our culture, it might sound as if Sarai is being disrespectful to Abram, but I don't think so. I think that, rather than assume Hagar has no position before Abram, she asks. That seems rather submissive even if her wording is very intense.
Depending on what they understood of the promise God made with Abram, perhaps Hagar saw herself as the "mother" of that promise. Regardless of what was going on in her heart and head, she treated Sarai with contempt. The word used is the same word used for "curse" in Genesis 12:3, with reference to those who might curse Abram. It is the opposite of "honor" using the same imagery of weight; to honor is to "make heavy" and to despise is "to make light". This is a very wrong move for a slave girl to make. Her consequence is to be driven off. She realizes that her status in the household is not as she assumed, but only too late.
Sarai invokes the name of God to Abram, calling Him as Judge between them. This at least acknowledges that Abram has faith. Yet, in previous passages, she goes along with decisions of Abram that would require tremendous amounts of trust in her husband's faith; trust that would have to transcend Abram and attach to God. She would have to agree and even understand for herself the character of God to permit the sacrifice of Isaac. She would need some stiff faith to allow Abram to refer to her as his sister repeatedly. So what is it here?
Here I believe that Sarai is forcing a point with Abram, but also seeing where his heart is. From a passage later on (actually chapter 17, I think), it becomes clear that Abram really loves Ishmael and wants the promise of God to go through him. God has other plans, but if that is true, it's possible that Sarai was right to "test the ground" with her husband before running off his hope of a fulfilled promise.
I guess what I bring away from this is that, in my dealings with those around me, I should be willing to clarify my understanding of where others are with God before running off willy nilly with what I think. I should instead return to the picture I used ages ago in a church where we had a puzzle of Noah's ark. Everyone in the church got a puzzle piece, and not all the pieces were handed out (not enough people in the church to complete the puzzle). The resulting image was complete enough to see what it was, but still not complete enough to finish the picture. The point was that our vision from God takes a church with each person working with the gifts God gives, including leadership. It all fits together, or should.
The results are not perfect though. People may work with the gift they want instead of the gift God gives. People may not walk in the call they are given, or fearlessly follow the piece of the vision God has given them. People don't always listen to others, including God. It's hard for me to wait for the complete vision, seeking to move ahead, champing at the bit to get to the next thing God wants to do. While that is good in a sense, it also becomes a distraction to listening. Like Sarai, I need to test the ground before my Master. I believe I know what I'll find, as Sarai probably knew. But assuming is usually wrong, even if it's right.
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