You Were Serious About That?

"Thus says the LORD of hosts, 'I will punish Amalek for what he did to Israel, how he set himself against him on the way while he was coming up from Egypt.  Now go and strike Amalek and utterly destroy all that he has, and do not spare him; but put to death both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.'" (1 Samuel 15:2 NASB)

But Saul and the people spared Agag and the best of the sheep, the oxen, the fatlings, the lambs, and all that was good, and were not willing to destroy them utterly; but everything despised and worthless, that they utterly destroyed.  Then the word of the LORD came to Samuel, saying,  11 "I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following Me and has not carried out My commands." And Samuel was distressed and cried out to the LORD all night. (1 Samuel 15:9-11 NASB)

There are several things here on which I could spend several entries. This is one of the richest chapters for theology and life with my Master in Scripture.  But one in particular is one I have been quick to judge and slow to really appreciate.  Because of that, I have missed that I make the same mistake Saul and the people make.

Essentially God gives a command that was not carried out during the time Israel was in the desert and coming into Canaan.  Since the Amalekites weren't destroyed in the desert, they continued to harass the people after they entered the land.  They would sweep in, plunder, and sweep back out again.  Rather than produce anything other than sheep and goats in the desert, they stole from other nations who had farming.

In chapter 14, they are referred to as the ones plundering Israel.  So consider what the people find when they attack Amalek.  They find all sorts of things, some which they may have owned at one time.  This has to incite anger.  In obedience, they devote most of it to God; but in disobedience they keep the best, they plunder the ones having plundered them.  They intend to bring it back and offer it in sacrifice to God, so they'll use in worship, and that should make up for having kept it.

The problem is that in sacrifice of the type they describe, the people share in the sacrifice, it's not wholly consumed in the fire.  They intend to share with God what they plundered, even give Him the good parts, but not all of it.  God required all of it.  In fact it was supposed to be considered so holy, no one was to touch it at all, but it was to be completely destroyed in place.  No herding, no trading, and certainly no eating.

Would it have seemed a waste to them?  Would it have seemed "excessive" to them?  Would it have seemed unreasonable to them?  It probably would have to people today.  In fact, I believe such a sin is committed by people professing faith in Jesus today, in church, all the time.  We tend to have a dysfunctional concept of holiness today.  This dysfunctional holiness means we find it easy to disobey.  The two go hand-in-hand.

My last entry was about being terrified of my Master.  This terror, I claim, leads to obedience.  I believe this is true partly because the wrath of God punctuates His holiness.  He is 'other' than us, inexplicable, powerful beyond measure, and with unimaginable thoughts and reasoning.  We cannot see from His perspective unless He shows us a part of it.  All we have of Him is what He shares with us, and those parts are pretty peculiar, and sometimes very scary.

But when believers, such as myself, make the Master of the universe a warm fuzzy 'nice guy', or loving kind sweet old man, we've set up an idol of our own making.  This idol we can disobey, this idol looks a lot like the god of the world, the god of atheism, the god projected out of the sinful selfishness of frail faulty human creatures.  This is not the same as the God having spoken the universe into existence. 

To the degree that this sort of distorted image of God exists in our minds, we are able to easily disregard certain rules asked of us by God.  Certain Scriptures can be taken lightly or ignored all together.  But there is a price for such a profane view of the Master of galaxies and quarks.

It is not easy, once having setup such an idol, to then go back and change it.  We set expectations of continued comfort when we begin with such an idol.  I have.  When I realize what I've done and try to change it, it get's thrown back in my face.  My failures, my mistakes, and sin are dredged up, and shown to me for what they are.  So how then can I judge who have done the same things?  How can I teach Scripture who have lived my life deviated from the teachings of Scripture?

I can be honest about both the failures and the consequences, the most common of which is the dredging up and resulting shame.  It's both a failure and a consequence (you have to love a double whammy like that).  The reality is that I have to teach that Scripture reveals that God does not tolerate fornication; but that I have been guilty of it, and have paid a price for it (and will continue to pay I'm sure).  I have to teach that God reveals through Scripture that He desires me to be a good diligent worker; but I am guilty of poor work quality, and sometimes really struggle with giving a good days work for a days pay.

It's not excusable that others do the same thing. It's not okay that I'm not alone in this.  Those are the same things said by Saul.  He blamed the people, but he was their leader.  It was on him to lead well and in obedience.  I'm not a king (thank you, my Master, for that!), but to the extent that I have leadership responsibilities, I too have the responsibility to lead people in obedience.  I must teach the truth of Scripture, not just the comfortable ones I like and I know others will like, but all of them.  And I must do so, knowing and owning that I am a "law breaker" just as all the rest.

So the answer is to worship my Master as holy and powerful beyond measure.  A certain degree of absolute terror is in order.  To honor Him in Scripture is to consider Him 'heavy', His words 'weighty', and in practice, myself as crushed by His presence and His words.

Now, the obvious error here is to run to the other direction and become so focused on the "laws" of Scripture that I judge on legalistic grounds.  What Scripture also teaches is that the holiness of my Master is transferred by Him to me.  I don't get it by working for it, as part of His grace, He gives it.  He is able to transform the ignoble, the common, and the profane into objects and acts of holiness.  So, He can use my failures to redeem others.  I can become an example of His grace and redemption as people see what I was and what He has made me. 

I can't be as I was and expect Him to use me.  In fact, in the example of Saul, it was his unwillingness to change that brought on his eventual rejection by God.  So, even then he was used by God, but as a bad example.  God redeemed Saul's mistakes within His divine purpose, but the man was lost.  So my failure to submit to my Master's commands will not thwart my Master, but may thwart my usefulness in His Kingdom.  In fact it has.  The continued submission to my addiction meant that I have been sidelined from ministry.  As I have emerged from this idolatrous submission to my selfish passions, He is able to use me more.  Yet His use of me always has the requirement to own that life I lived, and the different life I live now; as long as it is different.

So, today, I will walk as a crushed man before my Master.  I will walk as an example of His grace and mercy, and also His wrath.  I will live my life with the understanding that my life is not really mine and never has been.  I will obey partly out of fear of Who I obey and the consequences of disobedience.  And I will teach what He reveals to me in Scripture, owning my own failures to live it out, but striving to obey.