Even Prophets Fear Sometimes

Now the LORD said to Samuel, "How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have selected a king for Myself among his sons."  But Samuel said, "How can I go? When Saul hears of it, he will kill me." And the LORD said, "Take a heifer with you and say, 'I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.'  You shall invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; and you shall anoint for Me the one whom I designate to you." (1 Samuel 16:1-3 NASB)

"Samuel! You've just confronted King Saul and told him God has rejected him, you've just finished hacking the captured King Agag to pieces before God and the all the elders of Israel.  What are you going to do now?" Somehow, it never works out that the prophet says, "Go to Disneyland!"  Great courage, shown in the work of God, major victory for the righteousness of God, and then comes some sort of wavering of faith.

It's weird, but I do it too.  Samuel faced down Saul and yet now, when God tells him to stop mourning the wayward king and go anoint someone else, Samuel is afraid of Saul.  Why does faith evaporate? Further on in the story, one of my favorites: Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel.  He faces them down, humiliates them, God sends fire, and he and the people slay all the prophets of Baal.  Then he runs away from the Queen who won't even come out to face him.

So, why do great demonstrations of faith in the face of powerful foes wind up followed by demonstrations of fear?  Moses gave every excuse imaginable and some not to be excused from leading the people of God out of Egypt.  It's a character of the prophet that there is this fluctuation between faith and fear, and in some cases, obedience and compromise.  But like I said, I do it too.

The other day, I had a great encouraging meeting with our pastor to discuss the marriage mentoring ministry God is putting together using my wife and I.  That night I can't sleep, and temptation is nearly overwhelming.  The next day, I'm really tired, don't have coffee to make, and have to constantly fight off temptation all day at work.  It was brutal.  What was going on?  Why the fight?  Why all of a sudden do I have this struggle when it hasn't been for almost a year?  Oh yeah, victory and progress against the enemy; he's worried and attacking at full strength.  Duh.

We think if spiritual warfare in terms of casting out demons, but more often than not, it is much closer to daily life.  More often than not, the spiritual warfare I face is the concentrated attacks of the enemy when I'm weak: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and/or Tired (HALT).  Sometimes temptations are of my own making: wrong place, wrong time, wrong thinking, and compromise of any sort bring them on.  But other times, it's an attack of the enemy, sometimes subtle, and sometimes not.

I suspect that this "mourning of Saul" that Samuel was going through was the wearing on him of the enemy.  He was "sulking" in a sense because he had become attached and invested in who he knew had become a failed king.  It was more than just worrying about what Israel would do for leadership without Saul, it was about mourning a hope and a person.  He was attached to what God did not what He was going to do.

God regretted.  And then He moved on.  Samuel mourned, but couldn't get out of it.  That is why I think he was under the attack of the enemy.  He had just hewed to pieces one of the enemies favorite pawns, King Agag.  His whole nation was unable to be redeemed, they were so under the sway of the evil one.  Of course Samuel was a target; one of revenge.  And for whatever reason, even with all his demonstrations of faith, the attack of the enemy was working.

But God didn't stop using him.  And He won't stop using me, even though I struggled with the old me, the old struggles, the ones that no longer characterize me.  I am not that person, so why does the old thinking and behavior reemerge and threaten to overwhelm me?

I notice something about resurrection and spiritual warfare.  When my Master raises the dead, their new lives are better than the old ones were.  When the enemy raises deadness, old ways and thinking, it is more like a zombie; neither alive, but not yet dead.  The resurgence of the old ways should be expected as this new ministry progresses.  And I need to remember two important things: 1) this is normal, all people of great or small faith encounter these struggles when things are good; 2) it is the enemy using my dead nature, not the 'real me'.

Sometimes, in my life, I have found that the best tactic in spiritual warfare is re-framing my circumstances in their correct spiritual warfare 'frame'.  Once I admit what I'm going through is spiritual warfare and not what I suspect it is, the energy and power goes out of it.  The enemy tries to hand me a 'frame' to use in understanding my experiences, and I too willingly take it; "it's their fault", "it's my fault", "it's about who's at fault", "it's hard", "it's scary", "what if ___", on and on.  When I'm able to re-frame what's happening as an attack of the enemy ("this is not from my Master", "this is the enemy", "this is not who I am", etc.) I can feel the energy level change, and peace comes.

The real indicator is that the 'frames' of my Master bring peace, and the 'frames' of the enemy destroy peace with fear and confusion.  So, perhaps the most powerful tool of spiritual battle is a spiritual 'framing hammer', big, heavy, cross-hatched head, long handle, you know the kind.  Used in prayer and study of the Bible, such a 'hammer' can demolish the frames of the enemy, and construct frames based on my Master's views.  Now, where's my tool belt and hard hat?  I've got some frames to replace...