Methodical Obedience

So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. (Genesis 22:3 NASB)

My wife and I finished watching "Taken" where a father uses his special ops skills to rescue his daughter from an overseas human trafficking mob.  I can't do that, I don't have those skills.  The list of things I can do to fix such a situation forms a very short list.  I want that sort of ability, of control, but I don't have it. 

Seeing that movie was scary for two reasons beyond the obvious one.  First, it scared me because I know that can't be done anyway, not by one person anyway.  Second I was scared because I know what it means that I want that sort of control; it separates me from my Master, the One truly in control.  Such desire, when given room in my soul, is me grabbing the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  It's me wanting to stand in the place of my Master in my life and world.  Want it all I want, it's not going to happen, so the only result is separation from my Master.

Abraham has been told to take his only son (the only one left because of God), and go burn him completely on an altar to God.  His response is to follow very methodical steps to accomplish this, steps that ensure his success rather than failure.  He rises early not to waste time.  He saddles the donkey to ensure he could pack all he would need.  He took help with the bags so he could do the climbing necessary (on Mount Moriah), and not have to worry about leaving the bags behind.  He split the wood for the fire that would soon be consuming his precious son.  What's not in this verse, but later on is that he had fire prepared even before they ascended Moriah.  He was methodical even on the trip.

In obedience to my Master, being methodical to ensure success is an excellent quality.  But when my Master tells me to do something repulsive, shocking, and that I know will shatter my personality, I might not be so methodical.  The thing is, I should be.  I don't have to understand.  I don't have to know what is going on that I can't see.  I don't need to see from the perspective of my Master.  All I have to have is faith that He sees, that He knows, and that He understands.  I don't need the "knowledge of good and evil", I need the faith to leave that knowledge in the hands of my Master; to obey Him without reservation, holding nothing back from Him, not even my family, not even my sanity.  I can barely imagine such faith.

Now I suppose that Abraham thought that the fulfillment of the promises God had made of all Abraham would receive through Isaac wasn't his problem, it was God's.  I suppose that he held that perspective and that this thought empowered him to be obedient in this horrific exercise.  But still, there had to be some level of willingness to also sacrifice the blessings he was to receive from God for his relationship with God.  There just had to be.  In the games of "what if..." that played through the mind of this parent, there had to be some level of resignation that he might not have those blessings after all.  But he would have the connection with God.

Do you wonder if at this point Abraham had to also weigh whether or not he wanted a relationship with such a god?  Keep in mind that in this cultural environment, worship that included child sacrifice wasn't unheard of.  Things done in worship that would be crazy to us were not that crazy back then.  But there were plenty of worship options that didn't include child sacrifice.  Abraham could have opted for one of those on the religious "cafeteria plans" in vogue at the time.  He didn't.  He took God as He is rather than as Abraham wished or wanted Him to be.  It may not be popular, but it is necessary for true faith in my Master.  But I have to say, I'm not enjoying this part of the journey.  Faith is shockingly hard sometimes.