Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NASB)Here we are, buried in the very core of Paul's discussion of spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians, and right at the crux of his argument, in the very center of his structure is the description of love. There are fifteen qualities that should define our relations with each other in our congregations, and more often than not, don't. Don't get depressed, it seems they didn't define the early church either because look, Paul had to write to them to start acting this way.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-24 NASB)
One of the striking things about the list of fifteen qualities is how similar they are to the list of fruit of the Spirit. In Galatians 5:22 and 23, we have a list of nine things that the Holy Spirit brings out in a believer; they are the 'fruit of His presence' in our lives. So, I want to show this correlation, draw out some of word meaning, and wind up with a rather startling application for myself.
The first fruit of the Spirit is love. So, the qualities in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 are all defining this first fruit. The next fruit is joy, and love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices together with the truth. The third fruit is peace, and love is not jealous, bears all things, endures all things, does not take into account a wrong suffered, and is not arrogant or bragging. The fourth fruit is patience, which is the first quality of love. The fifth fruit is kindness, which is the second quality of love. The sixth fruit is goodness, and love does not seek it's own, act unbecomingly, hopes all things, believes all things, holds no grudges, and does not brag. The seventh fruit is faithfulness, and love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, does not take into account wrongs suffered, and is not jealous. The eighth fruit is gentleness, and love is kind, not arrogant, does not brag, does not act unbecomingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, and bears and endures all things. The ninth fruit is self-control, and love, well, does all those fifteen things it does all of which require self-control.
As I think about it, the fifteen qualities of love are impossible. They fly in the face of proper boundaries, totally violate any concept of self-protection, create a complete wimp, a limp dishrag of a human. How can such a one not be taken advantage of? How can such a one not be run over by uncaring callous people who aren't evil as such, but just don't care? Seriously, how is this possible? Okay, some I get: patient, kind, not jealous, not bragging or arrogant, those make sense in any culture. But not 'rude'? So, I'm supposed to 'bow to the social mores of others' even when I disagree with them? And what about 'not seeking its own'? How can I have anything to give when I don't take care of myself?
I also get 'not provoked', that's a good one. But not counting wrongs suffered means that someone will continue to take advantage of me over and over. Not rejoicing in unrighteousness I get, along with rejoicing together with the truth. But the next set of four are seriously a problem for me: bears (or covers) all things? believes all things; seriously, be intentionally stupid? hopes all things? endures all things? How will anything change if I endure it? How will anyone not just lie to me if I believe everything? Should I 'cover' for someone doing wrong? You see how this description is problematic for me? These are universals that I don't think are wise to keep, not in this evil culture in which I live.
Reality check: So, I'm saying that God wasn't all that bright when He inspired these things? That He actually didn't know what He was doing when He inspired Paul to write them in an equally corrupt culture to one of the most famous examples of that corruption? Is that what I'm saying? Or am I saying that those were for them then, not for me now? What is it that can make believing all things a wise move? What is it that makes not considering wrongs suffered right? Why would not seeking my own be a good idea? What balances the scales or tips them the other way in my weighing of these qualities?
Luke records Jesus saying, "Unless a man hate his mother, father, wife, daughter, brother, sister, and even his own life, he cannot (read, 'is not able to' or 'powerful enough to') be my disciple." (Luke 14:26) This verse always troubled me. I know the standard interpretation that He means 'hate' as a hyperbolic comparison to how much we love Him, but still, it's harsh. But as I read these qualities of love, something begins to come into focus.
When I love my Master so thoroughly that all other things in my life fade to shades of gray, and only He has color, then whatever happens to me isn't really that important to me. The secret to living out these qualities of love in my life is sociopathic devotion to Jesus. When I don't care about anything else, then why not let every wrong go unnoticed? Haven't I been forgiven by my Master as much? Why not believe someone's lie about themselves or to gain and advantage over me? What can I lose if all I have worth anything is Jesus? What is there to protect if the one thing I care anything about is my relationship with Jesus? That's the one thing I possess that doesn't need protection, at least not mine. It sounds totally ridiculous, and it is sociopathic, but I think that this might be the secret of my life with God.
It's scary. I suspect that when my wife reads the above paragraph she will not be enthused by the prospect that she will be a part of the 'gray' of the rest of the world. Yet the irony is that such a focus in me will make me a better husband for her. I will be free to love her, and my daughter, and those in my church, and those outside my church in my neighborhood, and so on. I'm free to selflessly love people because I'm not concerned about myself, my protection, my time, my resources, my whatever. I can love because I have nothing to lose; at least nothing of any value that compares to my Master. This is why these qualities look so much like 'Fruit of the Spirit' because they are the fruit produced when the Spirit of God has all of my attention.
So, I asked this question way back in these blogs, a few years ago. "What would you do if you were convinced that God had your back?" In other words if you had nothing to fear, and you knew that God would protect you no matter what, what would you dare to do? The answer is often selfish. But what if it were completely unselfish? What if the answer were, "I would love without limits"? I'm becoming convinced that when I am totally confident that God has me covered, I will be living out the fifteen qualities of love fearlessly. I won't have to think about it or work at it, I'll simply 'discover' it one day.
So, here's the 'path' to get there: When I fail, and I will, the response I need to have is worship of my Master. In other words, I need to 'fix my focus' not 'fix my behavior'. The behavior is a product of my focus, not the end in and of itself. Jesus is the End, in and of Himself. So, when I worship Him the product of that behavior is the quality of love. And the genuineness of my love is tied to the depth of devotion in my worship. Sounds easy, but I believe that passage about 'hating ones own family' also mentions taking up a personal instrument of torture-to-death every day. So, along the way in worship, I die. And I do it anyway. Any one want to join me?
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