Protection From Myself?

"Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD lives, and as your soul lives, since the LORD has restrained you from shedding blood, and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek evil against my lord, be as Nabal." (1 Samuel 25:26 NASB)

Commentators make much of how God protected David from the sin of killing innocents in revenge for Nabal's insult.  I wonder about that though.  If it were such a huge issue, like something that might prevent or divert his ascending the throne, why does everyone else assume he's going to do it?

What I mean is, if this were such a terrible thing, and something detrimental to his future as king, then why is the assumption of the servant who tells Abigail, and the assumption of Abigail (the wise wife) that David will do exactly that?  In verse 26, Abigail does say that God has kept David from shedding innocent blood, but is that what's going on, or is it part of her negotiation for the life of her household?

I suppose what I'm getting at is the rest of the content of her plea is clearly made up of placating David's wrath: speaks well of him personally, provides a gift for his men, bows before him, and so on.  She speaks of his role before God among the people, but is that 'political' and 'prophetic' or simply an observation of recent events?

I suspect that, while God did act providentially to keep David from wiping out an entire household, I don't think that was the point here.  Perhaps Uriah would later take issue with such a view, asking why God didn't act 'providentially' in his case.  The understanding was that Nabal's actions in response to David would bring about the destruction of his household.  That Nabal didn't get that only reinforces his foolishness.

On the other hand, Nabal is in common company with the Ziphites, the people of Keilah, and others of the Judean countryside who are ready and willing to hand David over to Saul.  Yet, it seems Saul is not so quick to enter Judah to protect such people (as in the case of Keilah).  So, the loyalty seems more to do with fear of what happened at Nob than a character assessment between the two camps of Saul and David.  That being said, Nabal seems to have missed the point of that lesson if he thought Saul would protect him, again playing a fool.

It may be just me, but I think that the point of this story is that there is room for the vengeance of God.  It's not so much that David's vengeance was a moral problem, but that it was unnecessary.  David didn't raise his sword against Saul because that demonstrated to his men that no one raises there hand against the anointed of the Lord.  This Nabal is not an anointed one of the Lord; him David could kill.  This is not the same circumstance as the previous chapter.

But even when 'justified' or perhaps culturally accepted, sometimes my actions can be outside of my Master's plan.  When He intercedes for me, then He again takes center stage, and I fade to the background.  This is as it should be.  So, not everything I can do, should be done.  I think I needed this lesson last week.

I responded harshly to a co-worker last week.  Regardless of whether I had ample reason to be provoked, I allowed myself to act on my behalf, and I think I failed to leave room for my Master to act.  Sometimes I think there is a place to respond to slights and insults, but probably not to defend myself. 

I allowed the frustration I had let build concerning my work with a customer bubble to the top and pour out in my response to her.  I felt hurt and disrespected, relegated to the position of servant.  But isn't that what I am?  Am I not a servant of the King?  I felt the work I did was important, and warranted respect from my peers, and perhaps, in my culture I'm right.  But in the eyes of my King, my work is in His service, for His purpose, and for His pleasure, not my own gratification.  I was about me, not Him.  I lived instead of died, and lost an important opportunity to serve in humility rather than lash out in pride.

I don't want to give the impression that I believe my Master wishes me to be a doormat for the rest of the world.  On the other hand, the strength showed by my Master as He served was not in his ability to thwart insults, but in His ability to withstand them.  It was my Master Who used the insults of others, their persecution of Him, their lack of understanding and acceptance of Him to save all of humanity.  Now that is a reversal, and one from which I did not learn.  There was a better response, a response of humility, and one demonstrating the character of my Master rather than my damaged pride.  I missed that one.

So, the lesson I learn is to die to self, to accept the role of servant, and to permit my Master His place of center stage, where He belongs.  I can apologize, but I would rather respond initially in a way that needs no apology.  I need to stop having a 'crow lunch' and start serving others.  This, like other entries, is about submission, obedience, and acceptance of the position in which I have been placed by my Master.  Again...am I a slow learner or what?  So, die already...what the heck?  I want to live a resurrected life, not some sort of zombie version of my sinful past.  What an idiot.