What's A Good Son To Do?

"For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Therefore now, send and bring him to me, for he must surely die."  But Jonathan answered Saul his father and said to him, "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?"  Then Saul hurled his spear at him to strike him down; so Jonathan knew that his father had decided to put David to death.  Then Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and did not eat food on the second day of the new moon, for he was grieved over David because his father had dishonored him. (1 Samuel 20:31-34 NASB)

Between a rock and a hard place really doesn't adequately describe the position of Jonathan, the eldest son of King Saul.  From reading 1 Samuel, Jonathan knows who is right in the conflict.  His loyalty is to his father, but also to his friend (if that word is strong enough), David.  Yet, he stays with his father.  It's a decision that eventually costs him his life, but it is a cost he is willing, and probably knows he will have to pay. 

The reality is that there is more to Jonathan's life in Gilead than we see initially in 1 Samuel.  He has a family of his own, wife, kids, and so on.  We know this from the actions of David later on when he shows favor to Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan, crippled when the Philistines overran Gilead and he was being carried in the escape.  So there was much in Jonathan's life that complicated his loyalties besides who was right and who was wrong.

In a sense, this is a position we all face.  The choice of loyalty is often too easily criticized by those on the 'outside looking in' based on their perception of moral right, and moral wrong.  Often there are issues of responsibility to family, responsibility to community, and so on that override the other 'moral' issues. 

So the tension between right, wrong, and responsibility is what can put me between a rock and hard place.  What character do I need to live in this space?  Right now, based on some things I've experienced just recently, I need courage and determination to act.  And I need to implement those qualities faster into situations.

I believe that it's one thing to be courageous, but it's not enough.  I think the willingness to act, and the determination to act are necessary to translate courage into action.  Sometimes the competing loyalties cause a delay in action.  That's where I think I need to improve.  I can't even say that I'm delayed by 'thinking about what I'm dong'.  It actually has more to do with motivating myself to do what I already know I need to do.  Pushing myself should never be the factor that delays my actions of courage.  At some point it becomes a lack of courage.

So, as I encounter rocks and hard places, I pray that my Master will bring out in me not just the courage He calls forth in His knight, but also the willingness and determination to act required of those called to serve such a Master.  I want to be a good servant, but I also want to be a good warrior; and that requires fast action.  I want to be like Jonathan and choose those responsibilities I have been given by my Master over the other good I find attractive.