Engage!

And when they had come to him, he said to them, "You yourselves know, from the first day that I set foot in Asia, how I was with you the whole time, serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials which came upon me through the plots of the Jews; how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you publicly and from house to house, solemnly testifying to both Jews and Greeks of repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. (Acts 20:18-21 NASB)

I don't know if you have ever met anyone like Paul, but I think I finally have.  I don't know why, but I can become emotionally detached from things that seem to emotionally overwhelm some.  I just returned from Mexico where we saw poverty that was pretty amazing, but up close and personal.  It was, in a sense, in my face.  But it didn't make me weep.  It still wasn't my poverty, it was the poverty of someone else.  I didn't speak the language, so I didn't get to know people, and hear their stories, so I never really "engaged" in the setting.  But here is where I met the person I think has much in common with Paul.

Paul relates that he served the Lord "with all humility and with tears", and that sounds so odd for Paul.  He seems so strong and bold, that tears seem at odds with his character.  Yet he claims that these elders from Ephesus saw this in him.  They saw him declare the whole good news of Jesus, do so house to house, and to both Jews and Greeks.  I have met someone who does this in a very real sense in Mexico.  She doesn't live in Mexico, instead she travels across the border constantly.  She shares the good news of Jesus in impoverished places, to people who have very little except need.

Because work is scarce, food is needed.  Because food is needed, nutrition is poor.  Because work and money are scarce, hopelessness is rampant, skepticism is common, and abuse of self and others is also common.  I saw one "Catholic" Church, and I say that only because it was the largest "church-like" building and compound in the area, so I'm assuming it was a Catholic Church.  I never saw a sign as such.  There are heard that there are other churches in the area, but not enough.  The poverty means that any support for a pastor must come from outside the community.  It's difficult to get a church to remain for long.  The one we visited and at which we worked had been there for at least three years.

The lady who was responsible for getting it started did so through a Bible study for women.  She had started close to the border, in Tecate, but heard that many were coming from a village 20 miles south, so she moved it there.  Then she heard that many women were walking from an even smaller village 3 miles beyond that, so she moved it there.  In each place she left, she left a new church which still operates.  In this place where she works now, this church has been there for three years, and is adding a third building.  So she has been working through hard times to bring the good news of the love of Jesus to people without hope.

As we left, she prayed for us.  As she prayed, she broke down in tears of thankfulness to Jesus for His work through us.  What was so evident was her love for Jesus, even more than her love for the people in Mexico.  It was her love for Jesus which drove her to share Him with those she served across the border.  Sure, she worked until she is now nearly exhausted, but what I noticed was that it was her love for her Master that drove her to do so.  She had come from that poverty in which she served, and others who have that background leave it far behind.  Her Master would not permit her to do so.

It may seem like a semantic difference, but it is an important one.  In her prayer, less was said about the people we served, than was said about the Master we served.  In this way, people who know little beyond the poverty in which they live gain a perspective of heaven.  So these living so differently from us lived with hope and joy I don't.  Focus on them would not transmit the hope and joy, only focus on the Master.  It was clear, it was amazing, it was powerful, and it showed me the error of my focus.  I couldn't see it without the contrast.

So I couldn't really engage emotionally with the setting, but I think I caught the perspective of the people.  I think I understand better the focus off of the stuff of this world, and on my Master.  I think I get that more now than I have, and I think it scares me more now than it has.  It's not a terror, but a sense of unease.  What I want is for that unease to change from hindering my change in focus and into driving me into that change in focus.  I want to be afraid not to focus on my Master.  That may sound obvious or an assumption, but I realize I am moving that way, and am not there yet.  I have met a person who is so far down the path of such focus as to be almost unrecognizable to me.  I see that I, like Paul, like her, can and should focus solely on my Master.