Traveling or Being Traveled

Mat 28:18-20 18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “ All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
http://olivetree.com/b3/Mat.28.18.NASBStr

I have a dilemma.  The verb 'go' in verse 19 is a participle, but is passive.  Participles are already 'flexible' in their range of meaning since they are both verbs and adjectives.  But that it is passive adds another complex problem, because 'go' here isn't transitive in nature, at least not here.  Consider how you can be acted upon (passive voice) and the action is to move from one location to another.  As I see it, essentially, you are carried by someone or something without being the one in control.  That's the passive sense of this word as best as it can be achieved in English; and I admit it's not great.

Now the participle piece,  typically the imperative of 'disciple' or 'make disciples' is 'borrowed' by the participle, rendering the participle as a command to 'go'.  This is not required, even though very common.  I think that I lean another direction.  Participles can support other verbs, lending a sense of context of the action, and I think that is what this one does.  The command to make disciples is to be carried out in the temporal setting of going.  But this temporal setting of 'going' is in that passive sense in the previous paragraph; as in 'being carried along.'  So the obedience to the command 'make disciples' happens as we are carried along from place to place.

So, now all sorts of excuses come up.  What if I'm not 'being carried'?  Why do I need to be carried?  I'm waiting to be carried.  My life isn't going anywhere at the moment. I'm going to fast and furious to do anything else.  And so on it goes.  But if my Master is doing the driving in my life, then there's no excuse for me not doing my part in discipling.  The truth is I do way too much of the driving, that's why I'm too busy; I'm too busy doing His job.  That's not life lived in submission.  And therin is my problem.

From Saturday to Sunday

I believe that the connection between the cross and the empty tomb is sometimes lost.  The power of my Master is not demonstrated on the cross as much as His determination to save His human creatures.  He showed the extent of His love and mercy there, but He showed His power through the empty tomb. 

On the other hand, the empty tomb is not really appreciated until the extent of my Master’s love is explored over and over as demonstrated on the cross.  So, I need both, and I need to appreciate them in order.  I need a focus and meditation on the Cross of Jesus so I can better appreciate the empty tomb.  Yesterday I was crushed by my meditation on the Cross of my Master.  Today I want to pause at the empty tomb.

The shock experienced by creation was then followed by such deep oppressive despair that it seemed there was no recovery.  Hope died with the Master on the cross.  Sure, all the sins of all of humanity were paid in that event, but now there was this gaping wound that is always left by death.  Death is relational, just like life is relational.  The Spirit could have come then and there would have been a revival of sorts, but there would have been this sense of a hollow victory.  Death would still have reigned supreme, even over the Creator.  And there was something about that which would not settle in the hearts of the disciples, and not in creation.

The debate over three days is odd to me.  Any part of a day includes that day.  We do that now.  We don’t measure it down to complete sets of 24 hours until we want to disprove something.  In normal usage, we just go with any part of a day.  So, Friday evening, and through Saturday, a doubly intense Sabbath, there was silence.  I imagine the silence to be dark silence, not bright silence.  I imagine an oppressive air where no one, not even Jesus’ enemies, felt light.  I suspect that there would have been such an air of hopelessness that it would have been as all life had stopped, as if in a moment of silent grief.  A day where silence permeates to the bones, and into the soul, chill and dark; that’s how I imagine that Sabbath day.

Part of this oppressive sense of hopelessness comes from the Creator Himself.  The unthinkable has happened; God has suffered the loss of The Son!  The Creator has lost the Uncreated One.  The Three are somehow Two.  The fundamental truth of the Source of the universe and all that holds it together has fractured and a piece is missing.  It is impossible.  It cannot happen.  It can’t!  How?  The crushing question is why, but now in the aftermath, even that answer seems lost in the echo of the darkness left behind.  Is this love?  Is this mercy?  The hole left in my heart from losing my father is nothing compared to the loss incurred by the Creator and His creation at the loss of the Son.  This Saturday is one of grief from the One and Only God right down to the infinitesimally small sub-atomic particle.  It is grief on a cosmic scale.  It crushes the world and the cosmos.

And then the unthinkable, unimaginable, shattering power of the Creator of the universe and all it contains totally annihilates the enemy that is death itself.  Light overwhelms the darkness, and shatters the grief spreading shards to the uttermost ends of creation.  Each shard carries the sound of the truth: HE IS RISEN!  Life sweeps out from that central point on the spinning blue globe and life stirs once again.  Creation takes a deep breath, not realizing it has been holding its breath, gasping for the life of the Son.  Joy so radiant in the darkness of grief that few dared hope it was true swept through the lives of 200 gathered together, and the ripples of that joy continued into Samaria, Judea, and all the ends of the earth.

Life, real life, returned from the grave of despair.  And this is the eternal life that they might know You the One True God and Whom You sent Jesus Christ.  I can know my Master now, I can speak with Him, listen to Him, seek His face, and worship Him.  But one day I will run with Him in the fields of Heaven!  I will worship before His throne!  I will see Him face to face, serve Him in His presence, and I will be who He truly made me to be.  He will give me a new name, and I will know His.  Then I will run and not be weary, walk and not faint.  I will fly, but only for the joy of my Master.  And all the joy of life will make up the air I breathe and the ground beneath my feet.  And I am not alone in this, but one of an unnumbered crowd all together in worship and joy; the voice of which will shake remaining debris of this life off like dust.  We will stand completely clean and whole before the Conqueror of death, Giver of eternal life.  And we will do so forever.

That is what the empty grave means to me.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 26

Living Life: That’s the Hard Part

Seeing death as relational rather than physical I thought was pretty radical.  But it makes even more sense when I put sin in the same relational basket.  Now the reason death is relational is explained.  If sin is choosing independence from the Master of the universe, then sin would be death; being out of relationship with the Master of the universe.  On the other hand, since I can’t bridge the gulf in that relationship, I would have to be dependent upon what the Universal Master would do on my behalf.  So, Jesus is the solution placed before me.  The terms, “redemption” and “rebellion” now fit better into my understanding of the solution and problem with the world.

I don’t like dependence.  I don’t like going to the doctor or dentist for that reason and more.  I don’t like not being able to direct my destiny.  But, on the other hand, by giving up my independence and my destiny to the Universal Master, I gain access to Him.  So which is better, directing my destiny on this lump of space rock, or sitting down with the One having created space and everything in it and learning about Him?  Sure, as an American, I want independence, I was born to it, I have a sense of entitlement to it.  But I have another human condition which places me independent where I was never intended to be.  I belong in a garden.

So, when I consider the solution of the Universal Master to this human condition, I see a burden as massive as the shear crush of history and future of the human creatures crawling over this terrestrial ball.  All that hereditary isolation from the Creator, couched in the terms of independence, was summed up and consumed in the penalty paid by my Master.  For me, the event of Jesus’ death is more than an event of physical suffering; the physical suffering was almost a parable compared to the unthinkable amount of suffering at its climatic end.  When my Master, having revealed Himself as Three, suffers a separation within Himself, then suffering is redefined, and I cannot wrap my mind around the enormity of it.  That separation is the undeserved, substitutionary death which bought my access back into the garden.

But I’m not there yet.  This redemption I have gained the benefit of which was so expensive is not yet complete.  So, here in this place, I am directed to model my life after this indescribable gift.  I have been redeemed, and I am to live in this universe as such.  What does that look like as I relate to my wife, my daughter, my friends here in this community, and my church?  Claiming to understand life and death, dependence and sin, blessings and curses is all well and good.  But understanding is borne out in living.  If I really understand, then I will live in this world.  If I behave as if I’m dead, then what do I really understand?  And why do would I live as if I were dead?  For me, it is usually out of fear.  How ridiculous is that?  I have life but am afraid to live because of what the dead people might think.  Really? Seriously?

I am a fool, that much is clear.  I just need to become fine with being a fool for my Master, considered such by the dead around me.  I have spent too much time being a fool before my Master, acting foolish in His eyes.  How much that has cost me I will not know until I give an account of myself before His throne, but one day I will know.  The irony that strikes me to the heart is that, even as I played the fool, His love and grace never waivered.  He hated the sight of what I did, yet His love and desire for me never dimmed.  Even in those times, He had my back, keeping me from the deadly deep waters around which I played.  He kept me from things I can’t imagine, and the enemy was never able to snatch me from His hand.  Unbelievable, yet I am a testimony to its truth.

Today, my wife and daughter head to the Sierra Nevada’s for a weekend retreat.  I will be here holding the home for their return.  I will be alone in one sense, but I will be communing with the Universal Master in another.  The question is will I give into my compulsion for independence or will I surrender my right to myself to my Master.  It’s easy to choose life on the front end of the day, in the beauty and cool of the dawn.  It is another to hold that choice in the heat of the afternoon when reality bears down hard.  I hope to be able to post tomorrow that I enjoyed victory in my Master today, and then to post that again on Sunday.  That’s what I hope, I pray for that hope to be a fertile seedbed for faith, and that faith to lead me to love as I am loved.  Life is relational, and so my Master leads me to live.  I may be visiting you later, just humor me, I’m following the lead of my Master; I’m just not as graceful at it as He is.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 7

A Philosophical Theology of the Necessity of Missionary Work: Being a Catalyst of Life

There is a question in the discussion of religious thought about what happens to those who have never heard of the saving message of Jesus.  The answer is critical to any missionary enterprise.  Chambers hits it obliquely and seems to create a defense of not sending missionaries at all.  He doesn’t because his discussion isn’t complete, but his discussion of sin is very interesting.

In Romans, Paul addresses this question head-on.  As a missionary, he has a vested interest in defending what has become the enterprise of his whole life. Chambers refers to a portion of this discussion in Romans 5:12.  Paul is using a compare and contrast between Jesus and Adam to make his point about the problem with humanity and the solution Jesus provides. 

So, how does Chambers define sin? He says, “The disposition of sin is not immorality and wrong-doing, but the disposition of self-realization - I am my own god.”  Once upon a time in my not-so-distant past, I was all excited about what I believe is the central theme of all of Scripture.  I believe that all of Scripture (and therefore all of this life) is “School” and we are all being educated on the difference between life and death.  The definitions seem easy, except that I don’t believe they are physical events. I believe life and death only have meaning on a relational level, and especially in the relationship with my Master.

So, what?  Well I think that Chambers and I are together on one point, though my describe it differently.  I believe that it is theoretically possible for someone to seek the Creator of the cosmos without having heard of Jesus.  And that someone like that would be saved.  I say “theoretically” because it’s an argument from silence, and is impossible to test, and, therefore prove (nice argument to have until someone point that out).  Paul says people are without excuse precisely because the cosmos declares the existence of the Creator, but he also says that no one seeks the Creator and people are satisfied worshipping the creation instead. 

But if Chambers is right in his definition, then his definition supports a “theoretical” situation like mine.  In fact, Chambers says that God does not hold us guilty of the disposition toward sin (self-realization), but of rejecting Jesus as the solution.  That would mean telling others of Jesus would suddenly make them culpable before the Creator.  There is more to the belief, I assure you.  Yes, at the point the specific choice is presented, the choice, once made, decides eternity.  But the opportunity only provides a new option where before there was only one.  Without the missionary effort, the cosmos will only descend into deeper darkness swallowing any potential random isolated lights.

So, when I keep my life (my relationship with my Master) to myself claiming that is is my business, I rob my community.  I rob my community of faith, and I rob my community of those without such a relationship.  When I claim that my relationship with my Master is my business I sin by claiming that self-realization that puts me on the throne reserved for my Master.  I refuse to obey and serve when I do that.  My relationship with my Master is not my business precisely because it is not mine, but His.  He started it, He reached out to me, He chose me, and He is the One making it possible to maintain.  How can that be my business?  I deny my Master’s claim on my life when I refuse to disclose that relationship to my community.

I know where I need to change.  I need to develop the practice of referring to my Master in conversation.  I need to become known for that.  My references to Him should become just the normal way I refer to elements of my life.  Right now that would sound forced and canned.  It would take time for such a practice to become natural.  I need to spend that time, and adopt that practice.  If I am not a sign pointing to my Master, then my life and my relationship with Him is a waste.  Remember, I claim to believe that life is defined by relationship, especially with my Master.  So then why would I not want others around me to live as well?  Why would I let a community remain dead?  All it would take is a change in my normal behavior, and then I could be a catalyst for others to have life.  Right now, I have little to no effect what so ever.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 5

Abiding In My Master’s Name

When, just six or seven months ago, I was still ruled by these raging passions, depression, sinful self-centered sinful patterns.  I am not far enough away from those that they do not still exert influence, and I still must be very vigilant.  But just in this short time I have noticed a difference in how my Master has been working in me.  This experience of transitioning to another state has been incredibly different than any other of our 5 moves.

I believe the others were still led by my Master, but the peace was not there to this degree, the provision was not as obvious, His finger prints were not as clear as they are now.  I assume that part of that difference is that I am in a better place to see all those things.  But part of it is that He is doing something differently this time.  And while I believe I am in a better position and more available to Him, I am not under the impression that this state has somehow earned this clearer manner.  That would be absurd.

In the passage Chambers uses from John 14, Jesus again asserts that anything requested in His name is a done deal.  Here, though, is a new twist.  I didn’t even know to ask for some of the provision He has provided.  Actually the major parts of the provision were total surprises to both my wife and me.  So that is not to what this passage is referring.  Instead, I believe it may be pointing me to another part of my responsibility with my Master.  Chambers says it has to do with intercessory prayer.

There are no shortage of people who I know need my Master’s help.  I have a sister and brother-in-law who have reached a point where my Master must lead somewhere, even if it is to remain.  They have reached a point which requires a decision, and options are running thin.  How about them?  They could certainly use some prayer on their behalf.  And there are others, at work, at church, in my apartment complex, even people I pass while driving or walking about this city.  There is no shortage.

So, that is one need, and one application of this promise to have what I ask in the name of my Master.  Are there others?  Yes, I believe there are.  But all of the other applications are tied to a center which Chambers clearly points out.  He calls it the “Atonement of the Lord”, and I believe he is referring to the work of Jesus to enable me to relate to Him; all of that work, past (the cross and resurrection), present (His Holy Spirit), and future (presence with Him in His glory).  If this work of my Master forms the center of my personality, then I will be able to work and act as if Jesus were the One working and acting.

Richard Foster referred to praying with this sort of relationship, and he called it “praying the words of God after Him.”  In other words, the words used in my prayers would be the words of my Master in my mouth.  Therefore they would naturally be “in His name” since they originated with Him in the first place.  I wouldn’t have to wonder if He would say yes, I could ask with the confidence that a child has asking her parent for a sandwich for lunch.

But I could also decide on a course of action with the confidence that this course is in agreement with my Master.  I could speak to someone with the confidence that what I said were the words of my Master.  These things would also be marked with an open humility that I have little to do with them or their outcome.  It wouldn’t occur to me that I did or said any of it.  My surprise would be that they came through me at all.

So the “abiding” from John 15 which follows this discourse, dovetails with it nicely.  It is not just prayer, but life.  Or perhaps daily life is prayer.  I am not there yet, that would be really cool.  In either case, I can say that, at this point, in the way my Master is working out this move, I am a spectator rather than a participant.  This is not one of those “abiding” in my Master things, nor is it that we asked in my Master’s name, so we have it.  What we asked for is clarity, but I already know my Master is not always interested in clarity, so that was what we wanted.

I may be in a position where I am more attuned to my Masters’ voice, but I must admit that the provision we are experiencing is not the result of that.  I believe that the result of that sensitivity is the peace I am enjoying in the midst of the loose details.  And I believe that the peace is fragile; dependent upon how attuned I am to my Master.  My serenity is a borrowed thing that belongs to my Master which He lends to me while in His presence.  I enjoy it as I walk before Him.  The provision is His deal, and while I am humbled and grateful, I do not suffer under the illusion I had anything to do with it. 

In fact I suspect that the clarity of my Master may be an indicator that a spiritual storm is brewing in our destination.  It could be that this clarity will be a necessary anchor for me when things go off track, the wheels come off my cart of desires, and I am temped to believe we did the wrong thing.  Well, be that as it may, this is the road that my Master has clearly laid before me and my family.  So, here we go, U-Haul and all.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 7th.

Haunted By The Master?

I have never regarded my relationship with my Master as if I were “haunted” by Him.  I suppose in a time when referring to the Holy Spirit as the “Holy Ghost” was common, such a term would be more common.  But I suspect that Chambers is unique in using this term for a tight relationship with the Master even in his day.

In Psalm 25:12, the psalmist (probably David again), is complaining of his plight and those seeking his undoing, but he is also seeking forgiveness.  He sees that part of the reason he is in the trouble he’s in is his own sin, not just wicked people.  So, I can easily see myself in this psalm.

Chambers begins this entry by asking, “What are you haunted by?”  He then proceeds to point out that when I am “haunted” by my Master, then that relationship will be my automatic default for my life.  That is what it’s supposed to be, and I’m still working to empty my life of everything hindering such a relationship. 

Haunting has such a negative feel to it that I would never have used it to describe my relationship with my Master, but I see the value in it.  But even as Chambers uses it, he changes what I would have thought it meant.  I would have thought it meant that the Holy Spirit was constantly around me as a “brooding presence”.  But he sees it as an unconscious connection to a person that is the first to spring to consciousness when good or bad things happen.  To me that’s different than “haunting”.  I’m not sure what I would call it, but I wouldn’t call it “haunting”.

I can see that in the last six months, I am much closer to this than I have been at any point in the last 10 years.  I remember when I was in ministry, I would have characterized my life this way as well.  But that was because I found ministry so overwhelming I was constantly driven to my Master.  I would seek sinful pleasurable sins occasionally when I thought I could get away with it, but my usual default was my Master.  So, really I am at a point even better than that.  I’m not even overwhelmed by ministry, and I’m more dependent upon my Master.

But I see, sense, feel, and can almost touch the vast grace of my Master poured out on me these past months.  A review of my blog entries shows a clear progression up from a pit, where now I see light at the mouth of it.  That is the work of my Master.  Here I see His fingerprints, there the marks of His chisel, again the texture of His brush.  His signature is not yet upon me, since I am not yet finished.  But one day I will have a new name which only He knows.  His final signature will be upon me, and I will finally be the completed work of art of my Master. 

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 2nd.

Continuously Praying Consistently

Prayer is one of the experiences of my life that has never seemed consistent.  In some ways that’s not good.  When I don’t consistently pray for instance.  But, in some ways, it’s very good.  When I don’t get stuck in a single mode, at a single time, with a single litany.

The verse Chambers uses today is 1 Thessalonians 5:17 where the short imperative of Paul, “pray continuously” is recorded.  When prayer is discussed, this imperative will unanimously be used.  I wonder if that is because it is understood, or because it isn’t. 

I have struggled with that imperative because it has flown in the face of the demonstrated definition of prayer provided to me by the church and my parents.  Witnessed prayer was always out loud, head bowed, and with a crowd.  If I were to pray continuously like that, well, I was a preacher, but that is definitely too long to speak, even for a preacher.

Clearly Paul, and my Master, has something else in mind.  Chambers says it should be like breathing or heart beats, constant and without conscious effort.  I agree, but it is also a degree of communion, so there has to be some sort of communication happening as well.  There is an interchange of some sort, and that is the part that I don’t understand very well.

I think part of my problem in understanding also stems from my learned definition of prayer.  Prayer that I witnessed was always unidirectional, from the person to the Master.  Prayer as seen in Scripture varied from unidirectional from the Master to the person, a discussion between the Master and the person, or unidirectional from the person to the Master, but with radical results.

My definition needs better grounding in Scripture rather than what I witnessed growing up.  The other issue is that prayer has to have a large internal element which cannot be witnessed in another.  The effects can be seen, which is why my mom would always ask, “have you had your quiet time today?” when I was demonstrating a bad attitude.  I hated that.  It bypassed what I was upset about, and was usually a good question, since more often than not, I hadn’t had my quiet time.

So, prayer needs to be constant flow between myself and my Master.  I need constant sensitivity to His Spirit.  I need to reflexively respond to Him in my momentary crises.  He should be the spontaneous impulse in my interactions or responses to others.  I should be speaking to Him whether internally or externally throughout events that happen, observations I make, and as I process meanings and draw conclusions.  I suppose that prayer can be the fundamental element of “abiding in Christ” or “walking in the light” or “living by the Spirit” or any of the other word pictures used in Scripture to describe the life I live in relationship to my Master.

I guess that as I wait, worship, and walk before my Master, prayer is my natural posture.  So, my Master loves me, has my back, and I am at His service, waiting, worshipping, and walking before Him in constant prayer.  And I thought I was busy yesterday.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": May 26th.

As if I Had Too Little to Worry About

I used to have a youth minister who had a favorite saying, "You can choose to be a good witness or a bad witness, but everyone is a witness."  So, I work around several people who do not believe as I do.  Some are agnostic, some are practicing atheists, some are just avoiding the subject all together.  Then there are a lot of believers as well.  To these I am a witness to my beliefs, and therefore to the power, glory, majesty, and grace of my Master.  So when I am sarcastic, cynical, biting, overbearing, condescending, arrogant, and so many other things of which I am a rather skilled practitioner, I choose to be a bad witness.

It is at this point where my day, my attitudes, my emotions, and all those things which are personal to me, within my boundaries, spill over into the lives of others.  I was raised with the perspective that my relationship with my Master is my business.  The relationship of others to Him is their business.  This is a poor, unbiblical perspective to have.  Those who do not know or have a relationship to my Master may hold that position, and may be bothered by discussions about spiritual things, but that should not be my position.

In Paul's discussion of the relationship of believers to one another in Romans 14, differing views about food are used as an example of how to treat each other when religious opinions differ within a body of believers.  In the midst of that discussion, in verses 7 and 8, Paul says that none of us live or die to ourselves, but rather all of us live or die to the Lord.  What he is saying here is that my perspective needs to be off of the views of those around me, and on my Master.  When that is true, then I will naturally be the "good" witness I need to be.  He will have me in such a manner that His qualities become spiritual fruit in my life.  Others will witness His glory, power, majesty, and grace through me.  I just need to focus on Him, not on myself or how well I do compared to others around me.

So, pretend everything is OK, fake it until I make it, think and act until it's true, and above all do not let anyone know that I'm hurting, sad, angry, or sick.  Hmm, no, I don't think so.  It is an undeniable fact that my Master drags me kicking and screaming through rough times.  Yes, I sometimes whine and complain, I sometimes mope or pout.  But to go through these times and pretend I'm not is to hide the glory and grace of my Master, cover examples of His power, and instead take false credit for false circumstances.  It is the power of my Master that enables me to endure tough times.  It is His grace that redeems me from mistakes.  It is His glory and majesty that shine through me when I respond well to good or bad things.  So, if I hide those tough times, failures, and good or bad circumstances then I hide those opportunities for Him to shine.

So, I need to be open with my circumstances and my prayer life.  I should be clear about what's going on and what I am doing about it.  My uncertainty about my future should dovetail with my prayer life, both in my life and in my conversation.  So, the humiliation of waiting in the dark for God to speak may come from doing so publicly rather than privately.  I would decrease, and He would increase.  I would no longer live or die to myself, but rather to my Master.  Then God would have something in me to use in the lives of others.