The Long View...Again

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.  If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way where I am going."

Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?" 

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.  If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him."
(John 14:1-7 NASB)

Jesus is encouraging His disciples after a long tough week.  But even now, they don't really get it.  Jesus isn't surprised, but He needs to "front-load" them to lead His people after He ascends back to His Father.  So, to encourage them, He points them to where He is going, telling them they will one day be there too.

That is the key for me.  Knowing Jesus is the "way, truth, and life" only makes sense with heaven in view.  In fact my life only makes sense with heaven in view.  One day I will be present before the great alabaster throne of Yahweh beholding the uninhibited glory of my Master.  What can possibly compare with that?

My lovely wife is away on a business trip, and I'm lonely.  The house is quiet, and will be most of the day (until the dogs bark anyway).  Yet, I'm not purposeless, I'm headed somewhere.  I may not like this day and what's in it, but I'm not home yet either.  One day I will live in a house with many dwelling places (and therefore lots of very close neighbors).  One day my Master will come back to take me along with Him so that I might be where He is.  One day makes today endurable, but also full of joy and hope.

When I encounter people unacquainted with Jesus, they are supposed to be bewildered by my hope.  I wonder how often that happens.  Do they notice my hope?  Does joy characterize my life in general, and with others specifically (including my family)?  Essentially, do people wonder about me in a way that does not necessarily draw attention to me, but what's going on with me?  Like a vagrant or transient, do they wonder what happened to me without really wanting to get involved and know my name? 

I'd have to say no at this point.  I need this long view more in my life.  I have tried to gain it through astronomy, and that does provide a glimpse of the amazing wonders millions of years old by the time I see them.  But it's not quite like focusing on the path to heaven.  I believe in heaven, and I have faith in heaven.  Yet, while faith enables me to get there, it's love that enables me to bring friends.  Do others see hope and joy in me and wonder about it?  Do I love them?  Or is my day and week about me?  Heaven help me!

A Little Christmas Repentance

It is December 7, Pearl Harbor Day, and today I examine repentance.  It’s really easy at this day to remember the terrible thing done to my country on that day.  But that produces nothing helpful in me.  It is better to see the amazing things my Master has brought about out of that tragedy.  It’s possible that if the Japanese had not destroyed the battleships in that harbor, the United States may not have won the war of the Pacific.  But other good came out of it.  This country finally galvanized around our leaders and the again entered into the world to influence it with our character (which was better then).

That’s not very specific, and I wish I had specific stories, but even those would overshadow the point.  Changing my mind about how I see this day is what repentance is about.  The difference is my view of my life apart from my Master.  Sin is my actions, attitudes, and thoughts I pursue away from my Master or outside of my relationship with Him.  They could be “good” as actions, thoughts, or attitudes, but apart from my Master they are sin.  If I can experience that change of mind, change of paradigm to see these things as sin, then I begin to repent.  My actions, attitudes, and thoughts do change, but as a result of repentance.

I have referred to the 12 Steps of AA as a spiritual discipline of repentance.  The program is designed to change my mind about my behaviors, my thoughts, and my attitudes toward my compulsion.  All three need to change.  The program is really effective at helping me accomplish this partly because it is so intertwined with submission and obedience to my Master.  The problem with living my life my way is that my way sucks.  I have proven over and over that I can’t handle even the mundane elements of my life.  But my stubborn self is at odds with surrender to any other way.

Repentance is where I turn from myself and towards my Master.  Last night I put on my new comfy headphones, and listened to a whole bunch of Christmas music as I drifted off to sleep.  It was beautiful and peaceful, but it also brought me to tears.  I was awash in thoughts that my Master invaded the cosmos He created in the most tender and vulnerable ways; the same way we all enter life.  I was immersed in thoughts that my Master would condescend to such an existence for me and my fellow rebels.  I was sorry for all I contributed to that requirement on Him.  Yet the whole experience was peaceful and happy.

In 2 Corinthians 7:10, Paul says that the physical suffering from God leads to repentance without remorse.  The result does not end in remorse, which Chambers seems to forget.  He goes on and on about remorse being the normal response to the rare experience of repentance.  When the people of Israel heard again the word of the Law read before them by Ezra and his scribes, they lamented all they had done to bring the judgment of God on their nation.  The priests and scribes said, “Don’t weep; the joy of Yahweh is your strength!”  The words were supposed to bring them into a right relationship with Yahweh, not leave them weeping outside.

So, yes, I wept last night listening to Christmas music.  That’s a normal response for me this time of year.  But I don’t experience as much sadness as joy at what was done; what I celebrate in this season.  The birth of Jesus forms the center around which I celebrate Christmas; and the renewal He brings, the hope I have because of His birth, and the promise of life I have through Him mean I celebrate with joy.  I weep, but I weep tears of joy, of amazement, of thankfulness, and love for my Master.  I will every time I enter again into the stable and kneel at the feed trough holding the Creator of the universe.

My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers, December 7

From Saturday to Sunday

I believe that the connection between the cross and the empty tomb is sometimes lost.  The power of my Master is not demonstrated on the cross as much as His determination to save His human creatures.  He showed the extent of His love and mercy there, but He showed His power through the empty tomb. 

On the other hand, the empty tomb is not really appreciated until the extent of my Master’s love is explored over and over as demonstrated on the cross.  So, I need both, and I need to appreciate them in order.  I need a focus and meditation on the Cross of Jesus so I can better appreciate the empty tomb.  Yesterday I was crushed by my meditation on the Cross of my Master.  Today I want to pause at the empty tomb.

The shock experienced by creation was then followed by such deep oppressive despair that it seemed there was no recovery.  Hope died with the Master on the cross.  Sure, all the sins of all of humanity were paid in that event, but now there was this gaping wound that is always left by death.  Death is relational, just like life is relational.  The Spirit could have come then and there would have been a revival of sorts, but there would have been this sense of a hollow victory.  Death would still have reigned supreme, even over the Creator.  And there was something about that which would not settle in the hearts of the disciples, and not in creation.

The debate over three days is odd to me.  Any part of a day includes that day.  We do that now.  We don’t measure it down to complete sets of 24 hours until we want to disprove something.  In normal usage, we just go with any part of a day.  So, Friday evening, and through Saturday, a doubly intense Sabbath, there was silence.  I imagine the silence to be dark silence, not bright silence.  I imagine an oppressive air where no one, not even Jesus’ enemies, felt light.  I suspect that there would have been such an air of hopelessness that it would have been as all life had stopped, as if in a moment of silent grief.  A day where silence permeates to the bones, and into the soul, chill and dark; that’s how I imagine that Sabbath day.

Part of this oppressive sense of hopelessness comes from the Creator Himself.  The unthinkable has happened; God has suffered the loss of The Son!  The Creator has lost the Uncreated One.  The Three are somehow Two.  The fundamental truth of the Source of the universe and all that holds it together has fractured and a piece is missing.  It is impossible.  It cannot happen.  It can’t!  How?  The crushing question is why, but now in the aftermath, even that answer seems lost in the echo of the darkness left behind.  Is this love?  Is this mercy?  The hole left in my heart from losing my father is nothing compared to the loss incurred by the Creator and His creation at the loss of the Son.  This Saturday is one of grief from the One and Only God right down to the infinitesimally small sub-atomic particle.  It is grief on a cosmic scale.  It crushes the world and the cosmos.

And then the unthinkable, unimaginable, shattering power of the Creator of the universe and all it contains totally annihilates the enemy that is death itself.  Light overwhelms the darkness, and shatters the grief spreading shards to the uttermost ends of creation.  Each shard carries the sound of the truth: HE IS RISEN!  Life sweeps out from that central point on the spinning blue globe and life stirs once again.  Creation takes a deep breath, not realizing it has been holding its breath, gasping for the life of the Son.  Joy so radiant in the darkness of grief that few dared hope it was true swept through the lives of 200 gathered together, and the ripples of that joy continued into Samaria, Judea, and all the ends of the earth.

Life, real life, returned from the grave of despair.  And this is the eternal life that they might know You the One True God and Whom You sent Jesus Christ.  I can know my Master now, I can speak with Him, listen to Him, seek His face, and worship Him.  But one day I will run with Him in the fields of Heaven!  I will worship before His throne!  I will see Him face to face, serve Him in His presence, and I will be who He truly made me to be.  He will give me a new name, and I will know His.  Then I will run and not be weary, walk and not faint.  I will fly, but only for the joy of my Master.  And all the joy of life will make up the air I breathe and the ground beneath my feet.  And I am not alone in this, but one of an unnumbered crowd all together in worship and joy; the voice of which will shake remaining debris of this life off like dust.  We will stand completely clean and whole before the Conqueror of death, Giver of eternal life.  And we will do so forever.

That is what the empty grave means to me.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 26

The Peace of Growing and Flying

I sort of feel bad that I am in a situation where I cannot devote enough attention to these MUFHH entries.  The one for yesterday, and again today's are great, and need more of my attention.  Chambers refers to Matthew 6:26 and 28, familiar passages on worry, yet I had not considered them as he does today.

He points out that the lilies just grow, they don't work, toil, spin thread, weave cloth, and they don't put all their effort into being pretty.  The point Chambers makes is that I shouldn't try to be what my Master has designed me to be, and what He is working to transform me into.  This is important for me to remember.  I do worry how I appear to others.  I worry that I am being what I need to be for my Master.  I wonder if I said the right thing, at the right time, for the right reasons.  It drives me crazy.  I need to remember what Chambers points out.  I need to just relax and let my Master transform me.  My job is to be available.  My task is submission.  In that there is the peace I so desperately need.

So, peace is found in not striving, but living in submission.  The stress of meeting a standard is replaced by the peace of meeting with my Master.  The pressure of becoming acceptable is replaced by the serenity of a relationship with the Master and Sustainer of the Universe.  Life is metamorphed into abundant life.  I am used beyond my ability; my ability to see, my ability to understand, my ability to achieve, to make, or to do.

So, in the tension of this day, I will be the serene one among the stressed out achievers.  My achievement for the day is being available to my Master, and letting Him dictate how I respond to the crush of customers.  They have needs that are subject to their need for my Master.  How can I meet their surface needs in a way that points to their need for my Master?  That is my task for the day.