From Saturday to Sunday

I believe that the connection between the cross and the empty tomb is sometimes lost.  The power of my Master is not demonstrated on the cross as much as His determination to save His human creatures.  He showed the extent of His love and mercy there, but He showed His power through the empty tomb. 

On the other hand, the empty tomb is not really appreciated until the extent of my Master’s love is explored over and over as demonstrated on the cross.  So, I need both, and I need to appreciate them in order.  I need a focus and meditation on the Cross of Jesus so I can better appreciate the empty tomb.  Yesterday I was crushed by my meditation on the Cross of my Master.  Today I want to pause at the empty tomb.

The shock experienced by creation was then followed by such deep oppressive despair that it seemed there was no recovery.  Hope died with the Master on the cross.  Sure, all the sins of all of humanity were paid in that event, but now there was this gaping wound that is always left by death.  Death is relational, just like life is relational.  The Spirit could have come then and there would have been a revival of sorts, but there would have been this sense of a hollow victory.  Death would still have reigned supreme, even over the Creator.  And there was something about that which would not settle in the hearts of the disciples, and not in creation.

The debate over three days is odd to me.  Any part of a day includes that day.  We do that now.  We don’t measure it down to complete sets of 24 hours until we want to disprove something.  In normal usage, we just go with any part of a day.  So, Friday evening, and through Saturday, a doubly intense Sabbath, there was silence.  I imagine the silence to be dark silence, not bright silence.  I imagine an oppressive air where no one, not even Jesus’ enemies, felt light.  I suspect that there would have been such an air of hopelessness that it would have been as all life had stopped, as if in a moment of silent grief.  A day where silence permeates to the bones, and into the soul, chill and dark; that’s how I imagine that Sabbath day.

Part of this oppressive sense of hopelessness comes from the Creator Himself.  The unthinkable has happened; God has suffered the loss of The Son!  The Creator has lost the Uncreated One.  The Three are somehow Two.  The fundamental truth of the Source of the universe and all that holds it together has fractured and a piece is missing.  It is impossible.  It cannot happen.  It can’t!  How?  The crushing question is why, but now in the aftermath, even that answer seems lost in the echo of the darkness left behind.  Is this love?  Is this mercy?  The hole left in my heart from losing my father is nothing compared to the loss incurred by the Creator and His creation at the loss of the Son.  This Saturday is one of grief from the One and Only God right down to the infinitesimally small sub-atomic particle.  It is grief on a cosmic scale.  It crushes the world and the cosmos.

And then the unthinkable, unimaginable, shattering power of the Creator of the universe and all it contains totally annihilates the enemy that is death itself.  Light overwhelms the darkness, and shatters the grief spreading shards to the uttermost ends of creation.  Each shard carries the sound of the truth: HE IS RISEN!  Life sweeps out from that central point on the spinning blue globe and life stirs once again.  Creation takes a deep breath, not realizing it has been holding its breath, gasping for the life of the Son.  Joy so radiant in the darkness of grief that few dared hope it was true swept through the lives of 200 gathered together, and the ripples of that joy continued into Samaria, Judea, and all the ends of the earth.

Life, real life, returned from the grave of despair.  And this is the eternal life that they might know You the One True God and Whom You sent Jesus Christ.  I can know my Master now, I can speak with Him, listen to Him, seek His face, and worship Him.  But one day I will run with Him in the fields of Heaven!  I will worship before His throne!  I will see Him face to face, serve Him in His presence, and I will be who He truly made me to be.  He will give me a new name, and I will know His.  Then I will run and not be weary, walk and not faint.  I will fly, but only for the joy of my Master.  And all the joy of life will make up the air I breathe and the ground beneath my feet.  And I am not alone in this, but one of an unnumbered crowd all together in worship and joy; the voice of which will shake remaining debris of this life off like dust.  We will stand completely clean and whole before the Conqueror of death, Giver of eternal life.  And we will do so forever.

That is what the empty grave means to me.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 26

Even Death on a Cross

Chambers refers to the cross of Jesus as representing the agony of God.  That resonates with me.  In my heart, the cross represents a singular event that had never been seen before, and never will again.  The Gnostics had such a linear view of “holiness” that they could not have Jesus truly on the cross.  But the Scriptures leave no gray area about Jesus on the cross.  He was crucified and He died.  For Him to bear the sin of all humanity He had to do more than simply suffer physical agony.  That a normal human could do.  Even good people had suffered to death.  What He was doing required more than that.

The cross of Jesus is where I go for my final understanding of life and death.  In my meager grasp of the Trinitarian Nature of God, I understand Him to suffer something the likes of which I can’t really grasp.  I understand the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as one in some way, and yet distinct in some way.  I also understand from Scripture that death is defined more by being out of relationship with this Trinitarian God, than a biological event.  So in my view, Jesus suffered on the cross what is unthinkable, what all pay who have no relationship with their Creator.  That would mean that, for a time, the Son was separated from the Father and Holy Spirit. 

When I think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane praying so intently that drops of blood form, I find it difficult to believe He is that worked up over the physical suffering He will endure.  He prays, relinquishing His will to the Father’s, and willingly goes to the soldiers coming to arrest Him.  He leads them to the trial, He refuses to prove Who He is to Pilate, and endures the physical and shaming trial of crucifixion.  He goes through all this willingly, intentionally.  He has chosen to endure the fracture of the eternal Trinity, and be broken from what He has known for all eternity:  The Father. 

The Creator of this universe full of infinite variety and imagination willingly suffered this break in Himself on behalf of rebellious examples of His masterful work.  He didn’t scrap us and start over.  He endured the unimaginable and impossible instead.  I don’t doubt this world shook and stormed at such an event.  It was in shock.  What had just happened?  What did the angels think?  How much of what was happening did Satan understand?  Did anyone, angelic or other creature, know these depths of the Character of God?  Could this have been imagined by anyone other than the One responsible for this entire universe?  Impossible?

What sort of love includes the willing self-fracture of the One powerful enough to create stars?  What level of mercy is required to willingly and intentionally endure a cataclysmic break in the very nature of the Inventor of inter-cellular structures and sub-atomic particles?  We can’t even see or measure all of what has been created, nor truly imagine limits to this Creator.  He is powerful in ways that defy reason and imagination.  Why would such a One willingly endure that for the squabbling rabble that is the human race? 

It is not enough for me that He died a physical death.  I would be in hell, eternally cut off from the Master of the universe, and I should be.  I have earned such a place a thousand times more than I can even remember.  My punishment would not be a suffering physical death.  That may be my end in any case.  Many people suffer such ends.  It was the eternal punishment apart from my Master that had to be met in the sufferings of my Master.  And that is met in Jesus on the cross; not in the physical suffering, but in the spiritual death He suffered for us.  I still can’t grasp it.  It’s too much, I’m crushed.

My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers, November 25

Living Life: That’s the Hard Part

Seeing death as relational rather than physical I thought was pretty radical.  But it makes even more sense when I put sin in the same relational basket.  Now the reason death is relational is explained.  If sin is choosing independence from the Master of the universe, then sin would be death; being out of relationship with the Master of the universe.  On the other hand, since I can’t bridge the gulf in that relationship, I would have to be dependent upon what the Universal Master would do on my behalf.  So, Jesus is the solution placed before me.  The terms, “redemption” and “rebellion” now fit better into my understanding of the solution and problem with the world.

I don’t like dependence.  I don’t like going to the doctor or dentist for that reason and more.  I don’t like not being able to direct my destiny.  But, on the other hand, by giving up my independence and my destiny to the Universal Master, I gain access to Him.  So which is better, directing my destiny on this lump of space rock, or sitting down with the One having created space and everything in it and learning about Him?  Sure, as an American, I want independence, I was born to it, I have a sense of entitlement to it.  But I have another human condition which places me independent where I was never intended to be.  I belong in a garden.

So, when I consider the solution of the Universal Master to this human condition, I see a burden as massive as the shear crush of history and future of the human creatures crawling over this terrestrial ball.  All that hereditary isolation from the Creator, couched in the terms of independence, was summed up and consumed in the penalty paid by my Master.  For me, the event of Jesus’ death is more than an event of physical suffering; the physical suffering was almost a parable compared to the unthinkable amount of suffering at its climatic end.  When my Master, having revealed Himself as Three, suffers a separation within Himself, then suffering is redefined, and I cannot wrap my mind around the enormity of it.  That separation is the undeserved, substitutionary death which bought my access back into the garden.

But I’m not there yet.  This redemption I have gained the benefit of which was so expensive is not yet complete.  So, here in this place, I am directed to model my life after this indescribable gift.  I have been redeemed, and I am to live in this universe as such.  What does that look like as I relate to my wife, my daughter, my friends here in this community, and my church?  Claiming to understand life and death, dependence and sin, blessings and curses is all well and good.  But understanding is borne out in living.  If I really understand, then I will live in this world.  If I behave as if I’m dead, then what do I really understand?  And why do would I live as if I were dead?  For me, it is usually out of fear.  How ridiculous is that?  I have life but am afraid to live because of what the dead people might think.  Really? Seriously?

I am a fool, that much is clear.  I just need to become fine with being a fool for my Master, considered such by the dead around me.  I have spent too much time being a fool before my Master, acting foolish in His eyes.  How much that has cost me I will not know until I give an account of myself before His throne, but one day I will know.  The irony that strikes me to the heart is that, even as I played the fool, His love and grace never waivered.  He hated the sight of what I did, yet His love and desire for me never dimmed.  Even in those times, He had my back, keeping me from the deadly deep waters around which I played.  He kept me from things I can’t imagine, and the enemy was never able to snatch me from His hand.  Unbelievable, yet I am a testimony to its truth.

Today, my wife and daughter head to the Sierra Nevada’s for a weekend retreat.  I will be here holding the home for their return.  I will be alone in one sense, but I will be communing with the Universal Master in another.  The question is will I give into my compulsion for independence or will I surrender my right to myself to my Master.  It’s easy to choose life on the front end of the day, in the beauty and cool of the dawn.  It is another to hold that choice in the heat of the afternoon when reality bears down hard.  I hope to be able to post tomorrow that I enjoyed victory in my Master today, and then to post that again on Sunday.  That’s what I hope, I pray for that hope to be a fertile seedbed for faith, and that faith to lead me to love as I am loved.  Life is relational, and so my Master leads me to live.  I may be visiting you later, just humor me, I’m following the lead of my Master; I’m just not as graceful at it as He is.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 7

A Philosophical Theology of the Necessity of Missionary Work: Being a Catalyst of Life

There is a question in the discussion of religious thought about what happens to those who have never heard of the saving message of Jesus.  The answer is critical to any missionary enterprise.  Chambers hits it obliquely and seems to create a defense of not sending missionaries at all.  He doesn’t because his discussion isn’t complete, but his discussion of sin is very interesting.

In Romans, Paul addresses this question head-on.  As a missionary, he has a vested interest in defending what has become the enterprise of his whole life. Chambers refers to a portion of this discussion in Romans 5:12.  Paul is using a compare and contrast between Jesus and Adam to make his point about the problem with humanity and the solution Jesus provides. 

So, how does Chambers define sin? He says, “The disposition of sin is not immorality and wrong-doing, but the disposition of self-realization - I am my own god.”  Once upon a time in my not-so-distant past, I was all excited about what I believe is the central theme of all of Scripture.  I believe that all of Scripture (and therefore all of this life) is “School” and we are all being educated on the difference between life and death.  The definitions seem easy, except that I don’t believe they are physical events. I believe life and death only have meaning on a relational level, and especially in the relationship with my Master.

So, what?  Well I think that Chambers and I are together on one point, though my describe it differently.  I believe that it is theoretically possible for someone to seek the Creator of the cosmos without having heard of Jesus.  And that someone like that would be saved.  I say “theoretically” because it’s an argument from silence, and is impossible to test, and, therefore prove (nice argument to have until someone point that out).  Paul says people are without excuse precisely because the cosmos declares the existence of the Creator, but he also says that no one seeks the Creator and people are satisfied worshipping the creation instead. 

But if Chambers is right in his definition, then his definition supports a “theoretical” situation like mine.  In fact, Chambers says that God does not hold us guilty of the disposition toward sin (self-realization), but of rejecting Jesus as the solution.  That would mean telling others of Jesus would suddenly make them culpable before the Creator.  There is more to the belief, I assure you.  Yes, at the point the specific choice is presented, the choice, once made, decides eternity.  But the opportunity only provides a new option where before there was only one.  Without the missionary effort, the cosmos will only descend into deeper darkness swallowing any potential random isolated lights.

So, when I keep my life (my relationship with my Master) to myself claiming that is is my business, I rob my community.  I rob my community of faith, and I rob my community of those without such a relationship.  When I claim that my relationship with my Master is my business I sin by claiming that self-realization that puts me on the throne reserved for my Master.  I refuse to obey and serve when I do that.  My relationship with my Master is not my business precisely because it is not mine, but His.  He started it, He reached out to me, He chose me, and He is the One making it possible to maintain.  How can that be my business?  I deny my Master’s claim on my life when I refuse to disclose that relationship to my community.

I know where I need to change.  I need to develop the practice of referring to my Master in conversation.  I need to become known for that.  My references to Him should become just the normal way I refer to elements of my life.  Right now that would sound forced and canned.  It would take time for such a practice to become natural.  I need to spend that time, and adopt that practice.  If I am not a sign pointing to my Master, then my life and my relationship with Him is a waste.  Remember, I claim to believe that life is defined by relationship, especially with my Master.  So then why would I not want others around me to live as well?  Why would I let a community remain dead?  All it would take is a change in my normal behavior, and then I could be a catalyst for others to have life.  Right now, I have little to no effect what so ever.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 5

As if I Had Too Little to Worry About

I used to have a youth minister who had a favorite saying, "You can choose to be a good witness or a bad witness, but everyone is a witness."  So, I work around several people who do not believe as I do.  Some are agnostic, some are practicing atheists, some are just avoiding the subject all together.  Then there are a lot of believers as well.  To these I am a witness to my beliefs, and therefore to the power, glory, majesty, and grace of my Master.  So when I am sarcastic, cynical, biting, overbearing, condescending, arrogant, and so many other things of which I am a rather skilled practitioner, I choose to be a bad witness.

It is at this point where my day, my attitudes, my emotions, and all those things which are personal to me, within my boundaries, spill over into the lives of others.  I was raised with the perspective that my relationship with my Master is my business.  The relationship of others to Him is their business.  This is a poor, unbiblical perspective to have.  Those who do not know or have a relationship to my Master may hold that position, and may be bothered by discussions about spiritual things, but that should not be my position.

In Paul's discussion of the relationship of believers to one another in Romans 14, differing views about food are used as an example of how to treat each other when religious opinions differ within a body of believers.  In the midst of that discussion, in verses 7 and 8, Paul says that none of us live or die to ourselves, but rather all of us live or die to the Lord.  What he is saying here is that my perspective needs to be off of the views of those around me, and on my Master.  When that is true, then I will naturally be the "good" witness I need to be.  He will have me in such a manner that His qualities become spiritual fruit in my life.  Others will witness His glory, power, majesty, and grace through me.  I just need to focus on Him, not on myself or how well I do compared to others around me.

So, pretend everything is OK, fake it until I make it, think and act until it's true, and above all do not let anyone know that I'm hurting, sad, angry, or sick.  Hmm, no, I don't think so.  It is an undeniable fact that my Master drags me kicking and screaming through rough times.  Yes, I sometimes whine and complain, I sometimes mope or pout.  But to go through these times and pretend I'm not is to hide the glory and grace of my Master, cover examples of His power, and instead take false credit for false circumstances.  It is the power of my Master that enables me to endure tough times.  It is His grace that redeems me from mistakes.  It is His glory and majesty that shine through me when I respond well to good or bad things.  So, if I hide those tough times, failures, and good or bad circumstances then I hide those opportunities for Him to shine.

So, I need to be open with my circumstances and my prayer life.  I should be clear about what's going on and what I am doing about it.  My uncertainty about my future should dovetail with my prayer life, both in my life and in my conversation.  So, the humiliation of waiting in the dark for God to speak may come from doing so publicly rather than privately.  I would decrease, and He would increase.  I would no longer live or die to myself, but rather to my Master.  Then God would have something in me to use in the lives of others.