I Can't Go Like This, I Have To Change...

Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.  Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, (1 Corinthians 15:50,51 NASB)

 One of the most difficult hurdles to overcome in seeking the glimpses of Himself God hid in Scripture is our ourselves.  I have things I want, things I've seen, things I've expected, and few of them correspond to my Master's perspective on things.  He sees things differently, and from a different perspective than I have right now.  That makes Him difficult to understand.

One of the things of which we seem unaware is our assumption that this place (i.e. the world or earth) faithfully represents what we can expect for the future.  Many here are telling us that this world is changing, and our future is uncertain.  Others claim that the changes are cyclical and it will all come around again to a better situation.  Even if it is cyclical, the number of beings and what they were doing was dramatically different in the last cycle, so the results will be different the next go around.  It always takes longer to dry more clothes.

What God inspired in Scripture says that there will be a new heaven and new earth.  Since we know so little of the 'heaven' (and I'm referring to astronomical heavens, not spiritual) there's little to gleaned from 'different'; we wouldn't even know really, other than what it looks like.  On the other hand, a new earth would be an enormous change for us.  Yet, we are so enamored and focused on this one, our lives here, and the next day.  It's all going to change.

This experience I pass through here is nothing to be compared to what I will know in heaven (or the new earth).  But I still rarely look past the next day.  I'm stressed about finishing the next two months well at work, year-end sales, deadlines, and goals.  That's not why I was created, and not to what my Master saved me.  It's not His purpose for my life, nor was it ever supposed to be my focus.  Yet, it's so distracting to me, that I can barely see past it.

We will all be changed, even if we don't all 'sleep'; we will all be changed.  This life, and these experiences, are not what make up what I look forward to.  In fact, Paul says in Romans 8 that all of creation groans waiting for the 'children of God' to finally be revealed; it's all waiting on us.  Everything is looking forward to a new existence; except for us.

Think about the waste of resources in that our Creator gives us minds that can imagine past this existence to new worlds, new vistas, and yet we won't.  He says that is what we have to look forward to, not this, yet we see only this because we choose to.  As believers and followers of Jesus, shouldn't we be looking toward His throne, His face, His voice?  Shouldn't we be looking past what is 'perishable' toward what will never perish?  Wouldn't that be a better use of our time and resources?  It would give us a hope which would baffle this place and people.

Reality is the term we use to refer to our actual experiences and situations; distinct from what can be imagined or 'dreamed'.  For Christians, those who claim Jesus as Lord, who believe He was raised from the dead, for us, reality is actually on the other side of whatever we can imagine or dream.  We are called into a new 'reality' redefined by the One who made us, lost us, then saved us, because He loves us. 

My challenge is to look beyond my current situation, and let the hope which results make enduring this reality much easier.  I let it happen.  All I do is focus on my Master's face, His throne, and His glory.  Then this stuff will fall into proper perspective for me.  Why would I think of worship as merely something I do on Sunday when I desperately need it all the time, just to make it through an hour at work?  I think I should be smarter than that.

Imperishable, Glorified, Powerful, Spiritual Existence...

So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 15:42-44 NASB)

I have a theory that whatever I can imagine of heaven, it will be even greater, more, better.  So, I have taken up the habit or 'spiritual discipline' of pushing the boundaries of what heaven will be like.   What I have taken as a model are various comments throughout Scripture on what to expect.  There aren't many, and Revelation is difficult to decipher in many places.  So, here's what I've come up with so far:

I imagine that we will know everything and everyone without hindrance, communicating without all the filters and baggage we have now.  So we will be able to communicate with all believers without limit in time or clarity. 

At the same time, or simultaneously, we will also have the complete face and attention of our Master.  We will see face to face and know fully even as we are fully known.  We will know 'prayer' in ways and to a depth we can't imagine now, again, without limits in filters or interpretation.  We will know the mind of God like we know what's scheduled on TV, simply by looking and asking.  Only He will engage with us as we engage with others now.

In the midst of this limitless communication, we will be worshiping the One True God, Creator and Master of all things and time.  We will be crying out, 'Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty; all the cosmos is full of His glory'.  We will witness the elders casting their crowns, the four creatures about His throne, and the innumerable throng before His throne all worshiping with a roaring singular, multi-tone, multi-lingual song, yet never without meaning or lack of understanding.  This activity will be without end.

Along with the activity of communicating, praying, and worshiping, will be a task and a challenge.  I consider it some sort of purpose to the glorified body we will have; something that will take eternity to accomplish.  In my imagination, I think of working within the Creation of my Master to influence free creatures to seek their Creator.  As if the 'missionary' charge of my Master would continue unabated as He continues to draw all creatures to Himself, reconciling all of His creation to it's intended design, yet freely.  This is perhaps where I've been spending most of my time imagining.  But I also recognize that it's only a piece of a whole.

I imagine all these things being true at once.  Without interruption in communication, worship, face-to-face prayer, and ministry all happening at once without regard to 'time' or 'place'; those two things will lose significance or relevance.  I imagine there will be no break in continuity between any aspect of life.  Life as we live it now in its temporal compartments will cease to have meaning, and those things we relegated to a weekly event or events will be the hub around which we live every other element of our lives; worship, prayer, and communing with the community of faith.  We will be church in every aspect of that term, both universal and local, without distinction or limit in time, space, or comprehension.

I would think that such a view would inspire to begin to implement such things into my life now, to the extent I can.  For instance, making church the priority it should have, communication, worship, prayer, and so on.  I should begin focusing on influence for my King's Kingdom as well, which should the corresponding activity to any of the other activities I've called church.  In this way, my King will have His will done here on earth as it is in heaven.  Can such things mingle in my life now?  If so, it may be time to extend my imagination even more. 

Living As If Raised Into Something Entirely Different

So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 15:42-44 NASB)

 One of the real problems with life on earth as a child of God is the whole, 'already-and-not-yet' aspect of that life.  On the one hand we are being transformed by the renewing of our minds, but on the other, we are still sinning.  On the one hand we are children of God, but on the other that truth is not yet realized.  We have the 'stamp' of the Holy Spirit's presence within us, but we are not yet in His presence.  We are still physical and earthly (or earthy), and not yet spiritual as we will be.

So a lot of what we are will be completed in the future.  In some sense this is frustrating, but in a much more powerful way, it gives us hope.  We are suffering, to whatever degree, through this life, but always looking forward to a future life without end in the presence of our Savior.  It's thinking about that life to come that makes this one bearable.  The assurance of that life, faith in the future, hope in what we will be overcomes the present problems and circumstances.

So, I read the description by Paul in this chapter, and much that is confusing comes to the surface.  In a sense, it will be like planting a seed, and the difference between the tree that comes up and the seed planted will approximate the difference between what I am and what I will be.  If I am a 'seed' now, what will I be like as a 'tree'?  How different, more complex, far more impressive will that life be?  Of course, Paul uses the metaphor of wheat or some other grain or something planted by a farmer.  So, perhaps it won't be an 'acorn/oak' comparison as much as a 'seed/corn' or 'seed/wheat' sort of comparison in my case.  Even in that instance, the change is profound.

And yet, it is so difficult to avoid being overwhelmed by this life, and the problems I face in this body.  Where's my perspective?  Why can't I see past my own nose to the future?  Is it because that's so far off that I can't imagine it yet?  Is it because that seems to have so little bearing on the 'reality' I'm going through now?  Aren't such statements faithless?  Don't they indicate that my 'substance of things hoped for' is insubstantial?  Where's my faith? Where's my assurance of what will be?  Where's my confidence in my Master?  Why would I doubt Him?  Why would I stopping looking forward and be so distracted by the here-and-now?  What's so stinking special about here and now that it can possibly eclipse what is to come?

I know, I want to be present for those with whom I live, that's it.  But wouldn't they be better served by my insistent hope?  Wouldn't that encourage them to also look toward heaven?  I know, it's so I can be more focused on the work of my Master's Kingdom here and now, that's it.  Yet my Master's Kingdom is also 'already-and-not-yet', so the future perspective and focus only enables me to do the work more thoroughly, and with a much better, more emphatic drive.  If I look forward to then, I won't get burned out now.

One of the most frustrating things about Paul is how he could be so driven and such an impressive example of ministry.  How did he do that?  Why?  How can he write such things, endure such things, and still be driven to go further, to speak to more people?  Because every day of his life, he was sure Jesus would return.  There was no reason to get married and settle down, because Jesus was just about to come back.  Time for Paul was always short.  Even though he was wrong, he was right.

For every generation of believers, they thought they were living in the last days.  For them, they were right.  One day Jesus will return.  And when He does He will find me doing something.  What I hope He finds me doing will be work for His Kingdom; my lamp lit, oil topped off, and wick trimmed.  Perhaps I will go to Him before He comes for me and everyone else.  Either way, will I be living looking forward or living looking around?  Will I be surprised to see His face, or will it be the relief and fulfillment of all my hopes and focus of my life? 

It's not that I want to 'leave a legacy', I want to live legendary.  It's not that I want to be a blessing to those around me, it's that I want my Master's blessings to be evident through me.  Those blessings are future hopes and future realities.  To the degree that I make those my emphasis, they will impact with force those around me in this time and place.  I will give a testimony of my hope I have within me.  What differentiates me from those dead in their sins is my hope, or at least it's supposed to be the difference.  What if they can't see that in me?  What benefit is that to them?  Where is the draw?  What is the difference that believing in and following Jesus makes?  If it's not the future, then what is there?  I can't claim victory over my present situation without a future victory in which to hope.  It must be there; it has to be, or else I have nothing to share.

If that sounds harsh, then read the previous verses, 12 through 19.  If there is no future, then there is nothing in the present.  Yet we focus so much on the present, we lose the context in which this present has any meaning.  Without heaven there is no point now.  Without a resurrection, death has no point, and therefore neither does this life.  So I am to focus on the resurrection, mine, and everyone's.  One day we will all be changed, and I must be seeking that day, that city unseen, that future hope which pulls me inexorably toward a Master calling me with a new name.  This day has meaning only as another step toward that glorious end.  May that shining glory, a reflection of my Master's face, shed light on my day today.

Investing in the Eternal

Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.  When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.  For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.  But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:8-13 NASB)

So, I don't have anything before my Master without love.  I love because I worship my Master; it's a normally produced fruit of worship.  And now, what now?  Where's Paul going now?  I think, if I'm not mistaken, that Paul is heading to the 'end of the story'.  This is the 'motivation' for going through all this, and continuing on with it.

One of the things about life with God that is supposed to ultimately motivate us, but today, gets shoved to the back of our minds, is heaven.  One day, followers of Jesus will join Him in heaven.  One day.  It's only been 2,000 years, and I suspect people now are getting a little ashamed at holding on to this belief or using it to motivate.  But yes, one day, Jesus will return for us.

Here Paul points out that while love never has an end, the other stuff does.  Prophesy will be put to an end, tongues stilled, and knowledge will be put to an end (like prophesy).  Think about this.  Why will love continue, but the others won't?  Paul goes on to explain...

When the complete comes, the 'parts' will be put to an end.  In other words, in heaven, when we know fully even as we are fully known, there won't be a need for 'gifts of knowledge' or 'gifts of prophesy' because everyone in heaven will already know everything.  In that day, love will characterize our eternal lives, so love will continue on into eternity.  The other verses through 12 continue to support this view.

The last verse, 13, lists three that remain.  Prophesy, tongues, and knowledge are all gone.  Faith, hope, and love remain.  They don't pass away, but consider Hebrews 11 for a moment: "Faith is the assurance of what is hoped for..."  So, faith and hope are tied together, in that what we hope for is made firm by faith.  In Romans 8:24, we're told that no one hopes for what they see, and in hope we have been saved; the salvation is not completely seen, not yet.  But what's the connection to love?

I suspect that to have faith, we must first have hope.  Without hope, faith doesn't have anything to substantiate; and faith without hope is fake faith.  By grace we have been saved, through faith.  And this 'by-grace-through-faith' transaction is not from ourselves, but a gift of God.  The connection between hope, faith, and love traces through the actions of God on our behalf.  Once we see Him face-to-face, hope will be completed because we will see.  Faith will itself be substantiated by experience of the presence of God.  What will be left will be an eternal life of love.

What I see Paul doing here is finishing off any residual argument about continuing to focus on the wrong thing.  Love first because we will love longest.  The rest will all pass away.  For Paul, since he believed Jesus' return was right around the corner, the call was to live as if it all comes down to today, because for him, it could.  What about for me?

The reality is that I'm not given any assurance of another day.  No one is.  So, it does come down to today, every day.  But I have so many of these 'today's that it's hard to keep on going since I know that it didn't happen yesterday, so the 'odds' are it won't happen today; so I slack off. 

If I flip a coin 50 times, and come up with 'heads' 80% of the time, what are the odds that the 51st flip will be heads?  If you say 80%, you should take a statistics course.  It's 50%.  It's always 50%.  A hundred flips, and number 101 is still 50%.  The reason is that a coin only has two sides, and they are equally weighted (or nearly).  In such cases all the statistics do is record the actual history of what happened.  In cases of a coin they do not predict the outcome of the next flip.  But we don't think that way.  We live, think, and behave as if it's a predictor of the next flip.  And so it goes with life lived with God.  He says it's a static potential, but we live as it the prior 'statistics' predict today.

I will continue to love (or worship) only to the degree I recognize the static potential of my continuing in this world.  I asked in the last entry, "What would I do if I was convinced that God had my back?"  Well, here's another question, "What would I do if I was convinced that I would end the day in the physical presence of God?"  The answer to that question should rule my day as co-regent with the first question. 

So here's the point for me: I need to love like I'm going home every day.  Only love will remain.  My other gifts will be gone.  My faith and hope will stand fulfilled.  But the practice of love will continue throughout eternity with me.  Perhaps the eternal quality of love is the reason that love so characterizes my Master.  Or perhaps love is eternal because love so characterizes my Master.  Either way, an investment in love every day is an investment in the eternal.  I like the ROI for that one.

When Hope Is Found

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;  and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:3-5 NASB)

Hopelessness is the condition of a person when they have run out of favorable alternatives.  It is supposed to be a condition unique to those who do not know Jesus.  For inexplicable reasons, it seems to afflict followers of Jesus as well.

Sometimes I imagine the Holy Spirit within me shouting at the top of His whisper, "It will be okay, just be patient and wait on Me!"  And I'm not listening.  I'm hearing the noise from my bank and bills, from the news and alarmists, and from my own wants and fears.  The shouting drowns out the whisper of the Comforter, my Master's Spirit.

Ironically, the noise I hear isn't necessarily a lie, or wrong in whatever assessment, it's wrong in its interpretation.  It's not the facts that are wrong, it's the conclusions drawn.  The conclusions drawn are typically doom.  And for things of this world and life, that could be right.  And fighting such darkness is really hard when it's all I see and hear.  And that's how I arrive at hopelessness.

But when I hear the whisper of the Spirit of my Master, things within me change.  The darkness becomes gloom, and I can faintly make out the workers of evil from spiritual realms.  I see that I, and so many others are deceived into hopelessness.  It is hard to fight against darkness, until I hear and embrace the words of my Master.  Then it's not me against the world, it's me and my Master.  At that point, I win, no contest.

But so often, in the process of losing the voice of my Master's Spirit, I also lose sight of the end of the journey.  This place I live in truly is destined for fire.  A new one is coming, and I am destined for that one.  So when I face the things here as if they are sooo important, so vital to my life, and so overwhelming, I am looking at the wrong world.

I'm not here to make here better.  That ends up being a byproduct of me doing what I am here for.  I'm here to help others find the new world coming.  That only happens when my Master calls them, and they respond to Him.  So, I try to distract them from this world long enough for them to hear my Master's call.  This is impossible if I'm distracted by them and what they're doing.

The problem for me is that this sense of my life is hard to sustain.  I like comfort here.  But look at how Paul puts it: "...tribulations bring about perseverance, perseverance proven character, and proven character hope..."  The path to hope starts with tribulations and perseverance, i.e. "character-building".  That's not the "fun" way. I don't like that way.  But I'm not useful to my Master in rescuing souls without it.

So, this is not all there is, and I am to live the truth of that.  I know better, and I know where I'm headed.  I know the light shining from transparent streets of gold comes from the face of my Master.  That's the "church" I'm headed for.  One day, my Master will drink again of the fruit of the vine anew with me in His Kingdom.  That's where I'm headed.  Does that shake anyone else enough to hear the whisper of my Master's Spirit?  Follow it!

The Perspective With The Destination In View

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you." (John 14:1-2 NASB)

The comforting words of Jesus to His troubled disciples help me with a view of my Master.  He didn't tell them they wouldn't go through the next 72 hours without problems or sadness.  He didn't tell them that it was really enjoyable, they just weren't seeing it right.  Jesus Himself wasn't looking forward to it.  Instead, Jesus seeks to give them perspective.  I need that; desperately.

It's really easy for me to get caught up in the moment and the circumstances around me.  My bank account and bills not working out like I want haunt me.  The things I think are good that I want to do, my Master doesn't enable me to do.  I see people around me I care for suffering or under stress that I am powerless to do anything to fix.  And what I need in these times is perspective.

I attend a church called Journey Community.  Often in this culture it's popular to focus on life as a "journey" and try and ignore the "destination".  "It's not the hill, it's the climb" or other cliche is used to downplay the destination in favor of the journey.  Perhaps the cliche "the ends justify the means" has been abused to the point that the pendulum has swung absurdly far in the other direction.  But a journey has to have a destination to make sense.  Journey Community sees this, or tries to; but it's often difficult.

So where is my destination?  Jesus encourages His disciples with , "in My Father's house are many dwelling places," and I like that perspective.  In the Greek, the word for "dwelling place" is rather rare in Scripture, only being used in this chapter of John, and only twice.  It is a more "generic" term for a place to live than "house".  It's as if it could refer to any place used to live, but I like to think of it as the difference between a "house" and a "home".  Almost any thing can be a home with the right elements; a house isn't necessarily one of those required elements.

"In My Father's house are many dwelling places," means that I am headed home.  I'm not there yet, but I am headed that way.  This passage also includes Jesus telling His disciples that they know the way there already.  They're confused by this, but He clarifies to say, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."  So, the way has been laid out before me.  Jesus is the "Bread of Life" sustaining me on the journey home.  He is the Light that illuminates where I walk on the journey home.  He is the Door through Whom I pass to get on the journey home.  And He is the Way, the True Way I follow, and the Life I hope for when I reach there.

Why is it that my perspective gets so stunted that I can't see beyond my current difficulties?  When I look at these same circumstances in the context of the destination I head toward, they look very different.  They don't go away; Jesus' disciples didn't avoid the pain and sorrow of the following 72 hours, but after the fact, they saw those hours differently.  I need the perspective of my Master so I can see my circumstances from His perspective, and enjoy the joy of expectant hope; hope in the destination, my Father's house with many dwelling places.  Some of those are for me and my house.

The Long View...Again

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.  If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way where I am going."

Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?" 

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.  If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him."
(John 14:1-7 NASB)

Jesus is encouraging His disciples after a long tough week.  But even now, they don't really get it.  Jesus isn't surprised, but He needs to "front-load" them to lead His people after He ascends back to His Father.  So, to encourage them, He points them to where He is going, telling them they will one day be there too.

That is the key for me.  Knowing Jesus is the "way, truth, and life" only makes sense with heaven in view.  In fact my life only makes sense with heaven in view.  One day I will be present before the great alabaster throne of Yahweh beholding the uninhibited glory of my Master.  What can possibly compare with that?

My lovely wife is away on a business trip, and I'm lonely.  The house is quiet, and will be most of the day (until the dogs bark anyway).  Yet, I'm not purposeless, I'm headed somewhere.  I may not like this day and what's in it, but I'm not home yet either.  One day I will live in a house with many dwelling places (and therefore lots of very close neighbors).  One day my Master will come back to take me along with Him so that I might be where He is.  One day makes today endurable, but also full of joy and hope.

When I encounter people unacquainted with Jesus, they are supposed to be bewildered by my hope.  I wonder how often that happens.  Do they notice my hope?  Does joy characterize my life in general, and with others specifically (including my family)?  Essentially, do people wonder about me in a way that does not necessarily draw attention to me, but what's going on with me?  Like a vagrant or transient, do they wonder what happened to me without really wanting to get involved and know my name? 

I'd have to say no at this point.  I need this long view more in my life.  I have tried to gain it through astronomy, and that does provide a glimpse of the amazing wonders millions of years old by the time I see them.  But it's not quite like focusing on the path to heaven.  I believe in heaven, and I have faith in heaven.  Yet, while faith enables me to get there, it's love that enables me to bring friends.  Do others see hope and joy in me and wonder about it?  Do I love them?  Or is my day and week about me?  Heaven help me!

The Coming Court Appearance

I have had some well-meaning believers tell me about the "7 Thrones of Judgement" or some other theological perspective, and typically in it, we bypass judgement or it is somehow different for us.  Frankly I doubt it.  I see different descriptions of judgement, but I suppose them to be different descriptions of the same thing.  I do believe that once judgement has been completed, that the irony of existence will be this book in which are the names of those who have had faith in Jesus.  The deeds will be weighed, but only those whose names are in the book will be found in heaven.  I call this an irony because the first part is very much like what other religious views hold.  Be good and God will pay attention to your deeds.  But the result is extremely different.  There will be no "scale" to weigh the heart, no balance to determine if good outweighed bad in my life, and no accountant to inventory my store of actions to find a final value of goods.  Instead, it will be like court today.  We will be either guilty of breaking God's law or not (I'm guessing guilty), and then, when the punishment is meted out, suddenly this separation between sheep and goats takes place, the wheat from weeds, or whatever.  It will be the roll call from the book which sets apart those who will be getting into Heaven, not their guilt or innocence before God (since we are all guilty).  One court appearance.

I believe that I mentioned before that in that court appearance it is rigged my way.  My defense attorney is the Son of the Judge, and my Counsel has already taken the punishment I have worked so hard to obtain on Himself.  So, yes, I'm guilty, but, no, I don't receive punishment, I receive admittance to Heaven.  I win, and that feels so great.  But there is still the court appearance.  My failure and guilt will still be reviewed in court, and the accuser of humanity will still have his go at me.  I will have my day in court, and it will end well, but be gruelling to endure while to goes on.

The reality I must face each day is that what everyone I work around, live around, sit around, and breathe around will some day get a front-row seat to see exactly what I was thinking while around them.  That day in court will be the end of secrets, of lies, of pretense, of every prop, rotten or whole, I have used to appear other than I am.  The magic show of slight-of-hand, mirrors, misdirection, and illusion will be over.  I will finally appear just as I am to the world in which I lived.  I guess, but do not know, that this audience will also include those around this globe who never knew me, but were somehow affected by what I did or failed to do on their behalf, whether pray, or contribute cash, or go to them as I was sent by my Master.  Yes, I fully expect to be ashamed on that day of what will finally be known about me.  My hope is that, after the first couple of hours of reviewing my failures, the audience will loose interest and break out their ethereal smart phones, hand-held games, or whatever and stop listening to my shameful list of deeds.  Not much chance of that, but still, I can hope. 

So, how about today?  Sure, I have years of failures to fill the pages of court documents for hours, days, probably weeks on end.  But will I continue to fill those sheets today?  Oh, probably.  But perhaps I can slow down the writers cramp of whichever angel was tasked with recording todays rebellious acts.  Perhaps, today, this servant of the Most High God will have less to record than yesterday.  What if I were more obedient, less rebellious, and listened to my Master throughout the day?  There would be one happier recorder of deeds (what a job, how depressing).  Today, I will again seek that respite in the afternoon to appear before the throne of my Master, and worship Him, to reset my attitude, and continue through the remainder of my day with Him in the front of my mind, not the back part.  Today I will try and make less work for the heavenly court reporter tasked with my day.  But I will also keep in mind the gratitude for the assurrance that all my failures cannot keep me from what my Master has prepared for me in Heaven.  That's a huge relief.  It takes a lot of the pressure off trying to be perfect.  But I will still make the attempt.  Someone will be pleased by that I'm sure.