Secrets Versus News

Now when they came into the house, as he was lying on his bed in his bedroom, they struck him and killed him and beheaded him. And they took his head and traveled by way of the Arabah all night. (2 Samuel 4:7 NASB)

David answered Rechab and Baanah his brother, sons of Rimmon the Beerothite, and said to them, "As the Lord lives, who has redeemed my life from all distress, when one told me, saying, 'Behold, Saul is dead, ' and thought he was bringing good news, I seized him and killed him in Ziklag, which was the reward I gave him for his news.  How much more, when wicked men have killed a righteous man in his own house on his bed, shall I not now require his blood from your hand and destroy you from the earth?" (2 Samuel 4:9-11 NASB)

 In this modern information age, the age of instant news, satellites, cell phones, texting, email, the internet, and social media we think we're so smart.  We think we know everything, that there are no secrets, and that privacy is something to be guarded by firewalls, passwords, and  PIN's.  Why do we continue to forget that our Master (regardless of whether we acknowledge Him as such) knows everything?

So, 3,000 years before any of that stuff I mention in the first paragraph, these two soldiers get tired of following the "man of shame", Ish-Bosheth.  And in order to get things moving, murder him in his own bed, cut off his head, and bring it overnight (overnight shipping 3,000 years ago?) to David in his capital.  They travel over night by the fastest route to the guy they think would be most interested in knowing what they've done, and yet...he already knows.

They tried to impress the king with the head of his enemy, and instead only succeed in incriminating themselves in murder.  Yes, three millennia before the cell phone, the news of their crime was faster than the current method of communication.  Why now do we think it's any different?  Why do we think that now, of all times, we can outrun the news of our sin?

The Apostle John tells us that if we confess our sin, our Savior is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).  So, why do believers still think that we can fool the Master of all the universe?  Why would someone still think that knowing all things, this one thing He doesn't?

Actually, I don't think we do.  I think, or suspect, that we simply don't care that He knows.  I know with me, that more often than not, I sin knowing I'm sinning but simply choose to do so anyway.  I then don't confess it because I know He knows, and don't care; at least not at first.  The hold of my Master doesn't let me rest that way for long though.  He doesn't leave me alone, even in my sin.  So, when I sin, and I do daily, I bring my Master with me; not because He does my bidding, I'd rather He wasn't with me when I sin.  He chooses to go with me out of love and mercy, and I choose to go where I have no business going.

Lately it has been arrogance, apathy, resentment, and probably fear that have been my preferred places to go.  Arrogance denies the mastery of my Master.  Apathy denies the worth of my King.  Resentment denies the sovereignty of the Prince of Peace.  Fear is a direct challenge to the will and reality of the King of kings.  Faith is really the answer to all of these, and for some reason it's the first thing I jettison when I encounter stupid stuff, stupid people, and my own stupidity.

When, instead, I let my Master reign (as if I somehow prevent it) everything eventually starts to make some sense and I have peace.  Or, more often, nothing ever really makes sense, and the peace is there anyway.  Truly my Master reigns, but I pretend to rule my own life.  All I accomplish is an embarrassing futile rebellion against He who loves me without limits. 

Here's what's really happening:  Within the infinite space of this universe there is a spec in one corner comprised of several galaxies grouped together.  Within that group is one particular galaxy which has, toward one of the outer spiral arms, a loose cluster of stars.  One of those stars has a system of planets, one of which has enough solid material, spins slow enough, is close enough, and tilted just so as to support the fragile life forms crawling about on its surface.  In the scheme of the universe, their life-spans are ridiculously short.  Yet their attitude is so shockingly arrogant that they behave as if all the universe is really about them.  I am such a specimen.

While this entire construct we refer to as a 'universe' is probably no more than the decoration on the workbench of its Creator, many claim that it is the height of arrogance that He should want us to worship and praise Him.  It's ironic really.  We miss that it is the probably the height of mercy that He would choose to inhabit the praise of such people.  We seem to completely miss that worship merely helps us place ourselves within the real shape and scheme of this universe.  It gives us a clearer sense of scope and scale without the overwhelm of actually trying to fit the universe into our tiny pea brains.

So there's nothing to be gained by hiding my sin from my Master.  I see no value in pretending that I'm not arrogant, that He didn't see it, or that the Creator and One sustaining my life doesn't care. Since the Maker of the vastness of all time and space has it all under His control, and is aware of all of it, why then am I afraid of a future I can merely perceive as dim and insubstantial?  If He loves me, what do I have to fear of anything clear or dim?  Am I not some ridiculous pair of soldiers carrying a grisly secret sin already known to the very one I was trying to impress?  They were killed, how much more do I expect from my own failures to hit the mark of my Master?  Isn't it much more sensible to simply confess my sin and let Him forgive and cleanse me from all that mars our relationship?  Watch me now:  It will probably take me about 10 minutes to make the same mistakes all over again...

Imperishable, Glorified, Powerful, Spiritual Existence...

So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 15:42-44 NASB)

I have a theory that whatever I can imagine of heaven, it will be even greater, more, better.  So, I have taken up the habit or 'spiritual discipline' of pushing the boundaries of what heaven will be like.   What I have taken as a model are various comments throughout Scripture on what to expect.  There aren't many, and Revelation is difficult to decipher in many places.  So, here's what I've come up with so far:

I imagine that we will know everything and everyone without hindrance, communicating without all the filters and baggage we have now.  So we will be able to communicate with all believers without limit in time or clarity. 

At the same time, or simultaneously, we will also have the complete face and attention of our Master.  We will see face to face and know fully even as we are fully known.  We will know 'prayer' in ways and to a depth we can't imagine now, again, without limits in filters or interpretation.  We will know the mind of God like we know what's scheduled on TV, simply by looking and asking.  Only He will engage with us as we engage with others now.

In the midst of this limitless communication, we will be worshiping the One True God, Creator and Master of all things and time.  We will be crying out, 'Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty; all the cosmos is full of His glory'.  We will witness the elders casting their crowns, the four creatures about His throne, and the innumerable throng before His throne all worshiping with a roaring singular, multi-tone, multi-lingual song, yet never without meaning or lack of understanding.  This activity will be without end.

Along with the activity of communicating, praying, and worshiping, will be a task and a challenge.  I consider it some sort of purpose to the glorified body we will have; something that will take eternity to accomplish.  In my imagination, I think of working within the Creation of my Master to influence free creatures to seek their Creator.  As if the 'missionary' charge of my Master would continue unabated as He continues to draw all creatures to Himself, reconciling all of His creation to it's intended design, yet freely.  This is perhaps where I've been spending most of my time imagining.  But I also recognize that it's only a piece of a whole.

I imagine all these things being true at once.  Without interruption in communication, worship, face-to-face prayer, and ministry all happening at once without regard to 'time' or 'place'; those two things will lose significance or relevance.  I imagine there will be no break in continuity between any aspect of life.  Life as we live it now in its temporal compartments will cease to have meaning, and those things we relegated to a weekly event or events will be the hub around which we live every other element of our lives; worship, prayer, and communing with the community of faith.  We will be church in every aspect of that term, both universal and local, without distinction or limit in time, space, or comprehension.

I would think that such a view would inspire to begin to implement such things into my life now, to the extent I can.  For instance, making church the priority it should have, communication, worship, prayer, and so on.  I should begin focusing on influence for my King's Kingdom as well, which should the corresponding activity to any of the other activities I've called church.  In this way, my King will have His will done here on earth as it is in heaven.  Can such things mingle in my life now?  If so, it may be time to extend my imagination even more. 

Why Even Go There?

Then Abishai said to David, "Today God has delivered your enemy into your hand; now therefore, please let me strike him with the spear to the ground with one stroke, and I will not strike him the second time."  But David said to Abishai, "Do not destroy him, for who can stretch out his hand against the LORD'S anointed and be without guilt?" (1 Samuel 26:8-9 NASB)

So David took the spear and the jug of water from beside Saul's head, and they went away, but no one saw or knew it, nor did any awake, for they were all asleep, because a sound sleep from the LORD had fallen on them. (1 Samuel 26:12 NASB)

This is somewhat a repeat of chapter 24 where Saul goes t relieve himself in a cave and David and his men do not take the opportunity to kill the crazed king.  Here the setting is out in the open, Saul asleep in the middle of his 3,000 men with Abner, his general, at his side.  It sounds fairly safe.

David and Abishai simply sneak right into the ring of soldiers, and right up to the sleeping king.  The immediate question is how were they able to do that?  The answer is provided on their way out when the writer tells us at that point (guessing it was on everyone's mind) that God had put everyone under a sleep, a sleep of the LORD.

In a very real sense, the writer here acknowledges that Abishai was right; "Today God has delivered your enemy into your hand," just as Abishai said.  David just didn't do with the opportunity what Abishai expected.  Why put David in that position at all?  Why sneak down into the camp?  Why even be there?

We're taught, and continue to teach young people to 'flee' sin, not to put themselves in tempting situations.  It makes sense, and is good advice.  I think we should continue to do so.  My confusion here is why my Master doesn't agree with my assessment when it concerns His man David.  Here, my Master seems to encourage David to come right in and be tempted by the sleeping king.

James tells us in 1:13, that God is not tempted, nor does He tempt anyone.  Yet here, it would seem He didn't prevent it either, in fact, a case could be made that He enabled it, and therefore not only encouraged it, but is actually responsible for the temptation (okay, not a great case, but good enough for the US court system).  David wants to sneak into the camp, Abishai goes with him, and God makes it possible.

I know, and I strongly believe in the quality of my Master that He knows everything without respect to time.  So, past, present, future all appear to Him as the same.  So, for Him to permit David to sneak into the camp isn't a problem since He knows David won't kill Saul.  But let's put this where it really belongs: in the category with all the other things my Master asks of me that seem silly if He knows the past, present, and future.  For instance, why pray if He already knows what He will do, how, with/through whom, and the eventual outcome?  What exactly would I be praying for?  Why send me into ministry?  Why have me train for 10 years after leaving the Army only spend 18 months or so actually on the field after finishing?  If He knew what would happen, why would He do that?

So, why permit David to go into the camp?  What is the point of having David stand over the sleeping king, and not kill him?  Is it a point to be made with David, with Abishai, with Saul?  Perhaps this is where the inspired words cannot fail in their purpose; a purpose somewhat different with each person involved, David, Abishai, Saul, and whoever reads them.

My point is this; not everything my Master permits me to do, enables me to encounter, or directs me into is a mandate to a particular action.  Submission to my Master does not mean taking every action provided by each opportunity He provides.  This is a problem for me precisely because I have contented myself that if He permitted it, seemed to be orchestrating it, then it must be His will.  So, try something; if it works, if He makes the details come together, if He seems to enable its completion, then it must have been His will.  Wrong!

If you're wondering, this is where the answer to my previous question about prayer fits.  But it's only half the answer to the problem.  The importance of prayer isn't to change events or my Master, but rather to enable me to be changed by Him.  Only then can these sorts of 'opportunities' be sorted out correctly; only when I have spent so much time with Him that I know His will.  It seems so 'iffy', so nebulous and dangerous, lacking the firm soundness of irrefutable proof that I know His will.  It is much like swimming through cloudy water, or seems so before I actually swim through it.  The other half of the answer will provide the 'goggles' for swimming. 

The second piece is Bible study.  Without it, prayer is directionless.  The Bible contains the record of my Master's work among people He chose.  From it can be discerned His character, His purpose, His methods, and His mind.  This is so because He has revealed those things through the inspired words.  So prayer and Bible study make up the process through which opportunities can be judged to be within or outside the will of my Master.  I need both.  Otherwise my prayer isn't intimate, it's selfish.  Otherwise my study is impersonal and sterile.  I fail without both.  Which I believe is also part of His purpose.

Remind Me Why They Have a King?

Now a day before Saul's coming, the LORD had revealed this to Samuel saying, "About this time tomorrow I will send you a man from the land of Benjamin, and you shall anoint him to be prince over My people Israel; and he will deliver My people from the hand of the Philistines. For I have regarded My people, because their cry has come to Me." (1 Samuel 9:15-16 NASB)

In the previous chapter, Samuel wrangles with the people's demand for a king, and what that means for the country and for him.  Here, the king is coming, and Samuel is about to discover him.  But the reasoning from God is now different.  It is more his response to the problem of the Philistines, which another passage prior said weren't a problem during Samuel's life.  It's not a huge issue, but it's worth looking at for a simple reason: it appears contradictory.

In 1 Samuel 7: 13 it says that the Philistines were subdued and did not come anymore within the border of Israel.  And the hand of Yahweh was against the Philistines all the days of Samuel.  Why then in 1 Samuel 9:16 does God now say, "...and he will deliver My people from the hand of the Philistines.  For I have regarded My people, because their cry has come to Me."  These seem to be at odds.  Or are they?

When the Philistines are defeated in chapter 7, Samuel is setting up a stone, not out there whacking Philistines.  God did the real work, and the people chased after the retreating foe.  Samuel really wasn't some strategic or tactical combat leader.  Sure he was effective, but only in keeping the people tied to God.  God did the "rescuing" from their enemies.

When they come to Samuel in chapter 8, they want a king so they can be like the other nations.  There are lots of "nations" made of single cities, and several made up of several kings, but the commonality was that these kings ruled out of success in combat.  It was different to have Samuel, a "nerd" leader, who didn't lead into combat.  They wanted a "battle chief".  So, God finds one for them.

So, it's not that the people weren't delivered from the hand of the Philistines at that point, it was that God has decided to acquiesce to their request and deliver them a different way.  Saul would also deliver God's people from the hand of the Philistines.  For their cry was not that God deliver them from the Philistines but that God grant them the credibility among their neighbors that is brought by a military king.

I wonder if I sometimes get what I ask for because my Master has "regarded" me and my "cry" has come to Him as well.  Where it's not that I need something, or that I'm in any danger, but that my Master has heard me and gives what I want.  It seems dangerous, but only in a limited fashion.  I can only assume that my Master would give me something that is not contrary to His purpose for me, and that will continue to bring glory to His name.  I may not like how these things are accomplished, but they will not fail because my Master has given me what I asked for.  I can also assume that when He doesn't give me what I want, that what I want does not accomplish those things; at least not the way He has chosen to bring them about. 

This does a few things for me.  First, I can ask without fear.  What I ask will never thwart my Master.  Second I can be sure what comes my way, whether I asked for it or not, fits in His purpose and brings Him glory.  If I don't get my request, what I do get is what fits His design more.  These are comforting things to know.

Don't Take It Personal, Or Do

But the thing was displeasing in the sight of Samuel when they said, "Give us a king to judge us." And Samuel prayed to the LORD. The LORD said to Samuel, "Listen to the voice of the people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me from being king over them. Like all the deeds which they have done since the day that I brought them up from Egypt even to this day -- in that they have forsaken Me and served other gods -- so they are doing to you also. (1 Samuel 8:6-8 NASB)

 One of the things about prayer that often escapes a believer in Jesus is that it opens the person praying to the scrutiny of their Maker.  It's not like He only sees us in prayer, but prayer is often the time we're listening or the closest to listening we come.  So we are most likely to hear a corrective word at those times.

Samuel goes to God in prayer because the people he's been judging have asked for a king instead.  The request displeased him, so he prayed.  That's a good idea, a pattern we can all follow.  When displeased, pray.  Actually that's just one of tons of reasons to pray.  But it is one.  It's the one where what is sought is perspective, but it's also one of the more likely reasons to invite that divine scrutiny.

God starts by pointing out that this is not about Samuel.  Right off the bat, God points out that "...they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me from being king over them."  Samuel doesn't want to oblige the people.  God says to do it.  But hidden in the reason is an acknowledgement that this is also a rejection of Samuel.

God ties the desire of the people for a king to their rejection of Him as king over them, but also to their prior deeds of serving other gods.  Then he acknowledges that this is a rejection of Samuel.  The point is that, while it may involve Samuel, it's not about Samuel.  This is really about God.  God helps Samuel re-frame the problem in a way that he can see how this is about God, and the people's rejection of their God as king.

I have to admit that my prayer times are dangerous, vulnerable times as well.  I'm not always ready to hear that what I'm facing isn't about me at all.  I tend to think that, if I'm involved, it's about me.  Even caught between my customers and my company, as I so often am, is a problem about my Master rather than me.  Sure, I'm involved, directly involved.  But when I place myself as the central character, all the things I cannot control weigh on me in ways that are simply frustrating.  The thing is, if I can't control them, then they aren't mine to carry.

Essentially, to be thought well of by my customers, I engage in the "middleman" role in trying to get their issue with our product fixed.  It's not wrong to place myself in this position, it's wrong to do to look good to my customer.  I do want their repeat business, but when I try to please them, I am wrongly motivated, and in danger of idolatry.  What my Master does is help me re-frame my understanding of these circumstances as service to Him.

When a customer has a problem, I help them bridge the gap between their problem and the solutions buried deep in my company's murky inner workings.   I do so because that is what my Master did for me.  What I was incapable of doing for myself He did.  I didn't even really understand the problem, even describing it.  I didn't know that the solution for my lack of peace and constant fear was a relationship with the Master of the universe.  My customers don't really know what the problem is, just what the effects are on them.

So, when I pray, my frustrations, my whining, my complaints, my anger, all the things I take to my Master that I think are so much about me wind up being the things He uses to teach me to die to myself a bit more.  It's ironic, but He also acknowledges that I am involved.  He did this with Samuel when He says, "...so now they are doing to you also." What that meant for Samuel is that God was going to use him in this transition just as He had been using him before.  What it means for me is that in these circumstances I face, God is using me.  Perhaps to bless my customers, to alleviate their frustrations, or maybe even to help them re-frame their understanding that this isn't as much about them as they thought.

So, it's not about me, but my Master uses me in the midst of it.  This is why He has called me to be a servant to my King.  He wants me available to Him.  When I get focused on myself, my frustrations, and my problems, I'm not as available.  He refocuses me on Him, and then involves me in what He is doing.  Did I mention this happens in prayer?  Can you imagine what I lose when I don't take time to pray?  Blind frustration with the wrong thing is a poor substitute to usefulness in my Master's Kingdom.  You'll have to excuse me, I have to go talk with my my King.

God-in-the-Box

When the Philistines heard the noise of the shout, they said, "What does the noise of this great shout in the camp of the Hebrews mean?" Then they understood that the ark of the LORD had come into the camp.  The Philistines were afraid, for they said, "God has come into the camp." And they said, "Woe to us! For nothing like this has happened before.  Woe to us! Who shall deliver us from the hand of these mighty gods? These are the gods who smote the Egyptians with all kinds of plagues in the wilderness.  Take courage and be men, O Philistines, or you will become slaves to the Hebrews, as they have been slaves to you; therefore, be men and fight."  So the Philistines fought and Israel was defeated, and every man fled to his tent; and the slaughter was very great, for there fell of Israel thirty thousand foot soldiers.  And the ark of God was taken; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, died. (1 Samuel 4:6-11 NASB)

 The movie, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" depicts the Ark of the Covenant as a powerful object.  Statements were made about it like, "The Bible speaks of it laying waste to entire regions", and shows a supposed wood cut of it destroying enemy soldiers.  Ironically, this chapter in 1 Samuel seems to be the only place it's carried into battle, and not very effectively.  Another quote from the movie is, "an army that carries the Ark before it is invincible."  Obviously not.

Shouldn't it be that powerful though?  This chapter uses four different terms for the Ark.  The first is the "Ark of the Covenant of the LORD" (using the name of God), the second is the "Ark of the Covenant of the LORD of Armies sitting above the Cherubim".  So the idea was that they could bring God into their camp/battle by bringing His "chair".  And since He is the Master of a host of armies, He'll defeat their enemies, again, because they brought His chair with them.  Technically, I suppose what they brought was His footstool, maybe that's why it failed?

The problem was they tried to manipulate God.  The first sentence of this chapter is, "Thus the word of Samuel came to all Israel."  So they finally had a prophet, yet even so, with priests, they could inquire of God anyway.  Instead of asking, seeking, or even including the plans of the Master of universe, they simply brought Him along into their plans.  For them at this time, the Ark was their "God-in-the-Box."  Bring the box, and you bring your god.  He even made it easy by providing poles to carry it; very convenient of Him.

This is sad, yet funny to see the foolishness, yet a tragedy.  And it also depicts believers today.  How often have I "included" my Master into my plans?  How often to I inquire of Him only to seek approval for what I've already decided to do?  I have made fairly large decisions in my life, with the expectation that my Master make it work.  It looks like what the prophets do, except mine comes from a life lived from myself rather than from one lived immersed in my Master. 

The other way I do this is by objectifying my Master, or locating Him with an object.  My favorite seems to be a Bible.  When I was still in school, I had a Bible I used to lead Bible studies (which is a really good idea by the way), and I put all my study notes, observations, questions, and so on in this Bible.  I could do a study on the spot on nearly anything, at a moments notice.  It was fantastic, and a lot of time and sweat was put into this tool.  It was so cool, no inspiration from the Spirit was really needed, I could do it myself; very impressive.  So, my Master had it stolen.  Yes, my truck was broken into (they picked the lock rather than broke a window), my glove box was ransacked, but the only thing stolen was my Bible.  I learned that my Master does not like objects taking His place. 

The Bible is good, but when the tool or method replaces the Master, it becomes evil in His sight.  Church attendance and worship styles are all excellent things, but when they replace the Master as our "time with Him", then they become evil in His sight.  He doesn't want my methods or my music, He wants my veneration, my worship, my life.  He wants me on Monday too, not just Sunday.  He wants me to submit to Him, not to "include" Him.  He's not my "buddy" who goes with me everywhere, He's not my "imaginary friend", I'm His; for my Master is more real than I am.  He is more real on more levels to more degrees than I can even imagine.  I am stuck on a lump of molten nickel and iron hurling around a burning hydrogen/helium bonfire.  I know where I am, I cannot be so precise with Him, and not because He's hard to find, but because He's so pervasive.  The question is, "where isn't He?" 

So, the Maker and Sustainer of the glories of the universe and sub-sub-atomic particles doesn't really "fit" into any sort of box, whether made of gold, or created within my imagination.  More to the point though, He doesn't like it when I try to put Him in such a box.  His normal response is to do away with the box.  When the Ark of the Covenant of the LORD of Armies enthroned above the Cherubim was captured, Eli and his daughter-in-law both died from hearing the news.  They thought they had lost God; that He had left them and their nation.  Instead, He was waiting for them to realize He had never gone to the battle, but was with His prophet, Samuel.  He was right there with them in Shiloh, and they missed it by focusing on a gold box with angels on the lid.

Attending church, worship, Bible study and prayer are all vital to my life with the Master.  Yet they are never to distract from the One I worship, pray to, read about, and spend time with each day.  I don't come to church to "visit" my Master, I come to visit my fellow followers before His throne; that is what I can't do alone.  I cannot let these things become my "box" to make my Master more convenient for me.  That would be a disaster (imagine the swirling sands and dramatic thunder - very "Spielberg").

I Was Praying...

On the next day, as they were on their way and approaching the city, Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hour to pray. (Acts 10:9 NASB)

Cornelius said, "Four days ago to this hour, I was praying in my house during the ninth hour; and behold, a man stood before me in shining garments, (Acts 10:30 NASB)

Prayer seems to frame hearing from my Master.  I do need to study the Scriptures, but I also need to pray.  Study comes easy to me and I really enjoy it.  But I also need the adoration and worship of my Master through prayer.  I need to place myself at His feet, bow my proud heart, and acknowledge the truly Awesome One.

So that's what I've been doing for the bulk of my study/devotional time.  So, this is short.  Your welcome.

Returning to the House of God

So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, he and his wife and all that belonged to him, and Lot with him.  Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver and in gold.  He went on his journeys from the Negev as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place of the altar which he had made there formerly; and there Abram called on the name of the LORD. (Genesis 13:1-4)

Abram has had a "close call" in Egypt where he seems to have nearly lost Sarai to the Pharaoh.  And now he returns to Bethel (actually Beth-El, meaning House of God), and sets up his tents where he built the altar before.  The text is very specific about him returning to the same place.  There he worships, where he worshiped before.  But this is not where the text says God appeared to him, that was in Shechem.  This is where he sought God.

I wondered if this was a place where he sought God for an experience like he had in Shechem, but was disappointed.  From this account, I would think he wasn't disappointed, but had a very meaningful experience with God, even if it wasn't what he was looking for. 

I have places like this, and in nearly every place I have lived, I have somewhere like this, where I sought God and had a meaningful experience of worship.  I have a lot fewer places where God sought me and initiated the worship, like Shechem.  Most of my places are more like Beth-El.  I haven't found one here though.  That needs to change.

For me, these places are outside, remote (or feel remote), and have a view.  In Idaho, this was easy.  In Texas, it was...not nearly as easy, at least not where we were.  In California I knew of all sorts of places near where I was raised.  But while they weren't hard to find, it was difficult to find "pure ones".  In some, I tainted them with something I had done wrong there as well.  So the number there is fewer than it should be. 

I think I need to find a place around here where I seek my Master in worship.  Not corporate worship, I already have a great place for that.  And not study because I have that as well.  My need is for prayer.  These times of prayer are what I need to loose the stuff and gain my Master; contemplative places.  I call on the name of my Master, and most times the experiences are just time without revelation. 

I think I know a place I can use, but it also seems used by others for other things.  Perhaps I can reclaim some land for my Master, call on His name, and empty myself for His filling.  Or maybe I'll just sit in His lap and be quiet.

Day 1 And I Already Need Help

I walk from the room to swim.  I need to wake up and accept that I am not here because of what or who I am.  I am here because I was once again, sent.  I have been sent here by my Master, and I am here at His service.  I seem to be forgetting that.  It is a vacation, but every vacation is also an opportunity to serve.

You see, it's the first day and I already see I have so much room for improvement.  My wife and I didn't pray over a meal last night, and I didn't think much of it at first, until a couple next to us did.  How simple an opportunity was missed?  I need to be one of those.  Not that I do it to draw attention to myself and any righteousness I might have (I have none but His), but rather because I accomplish two things.  It becomes clear that my Master has followers among them.  And these will hold me accountable for my actions and attitudes; they will know what I am because I will no longer be hiding.

I don't want to leave an empty spot where someone needs to see a disciple of the Master.  Master, You love me, You have my back, and I am at Your service.

Prayers, The Spirit, and Stage Productions

I have both been comforted and afraid through Romans 8:26.  There is a comfort in knowing that the Spirit of my Master works to express what I cannot, making up for what I cannot pray because I’m so limited.  When I wonder what I can do for someone with my feeble prayers, the comfort of the working Spirit of my Master gives me confidence.  I know that it’s not what I pray, but what He prays that makes the difference.  I become a vessel through which my Master’s Spirit works, but I know the work is His.

But this also scares me.  There is a degree to which I am unconscious of the works of my Master’s Spirit.   It is like being on stage facing forward, but the real show is behind me and I have no idea what is happening.  Is the crowd laughing at me or the show behind me?  The fear stems from a desire to have control and attention, but neither belongs to me.  The verse uses a few very rare words, used twice and once in the Christian Scriptures.  The first is normally translated as “help” but means “to grasp together with.”  This is what my Master’s Spirit does, grasps my weaknesses along with me.  He pulls and works alongside me, not without me.

The second word surprised me.  What is normally translated as “intercedes” or “intercession” is used only in this verse in the Christian Scriptures, and literally combines two words: the preposition “under”, and the verb “to meet with and have a chat.”  The preposition’s use in Greek was usually to indicate something done on another’s behalf.  So, my Master’s Spirit meets with my Master over coffee and they talk, about me.  It’s like my Master having a conversation with Himself to a degree, but on the divine level, that’s the best way to describe the level of intimacy my Master has with my weaknesses.

So, the Maker of stars, the One reforming matter into the indescribable and unimaginable, is intimately acquainted and interested in my weaknesses.  And not just mine, this level of intimacy is carried out across all life, in the same way He is intimate with quarks, neutrons, electrons, and protons.  And all this intimacy takes place all at the same time.  What was I worried about again?  I was just afraid of something, but it’s fading really fast.  Something about being on a stage, some sort of show going on behind me.  What a foolish man, turn around, idiot!  Enjoy the show!

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 8

Let the Craziness Begin…with Prayer!

Is it the eighteenth already?  My job takes a violently different turn today.  My tax customers have finished their last return for 2010 and now need my products to survive, many by the end of the month.  It will be bedlam for the rest of the month, but in a very good way; just busy.

In the hurriedness of my day, the crush of customers and processes, I will probably miss remaining attached to my Master.  The daily press of my circumstances will become a distraction.  It’s like wandering into deep water to wrestle with snakes and, in the commotion, not being able to hear my Wrestling Coach.  What I need is a tether so He can get my attention by tugging the rope.

The danger is that I begin to work in my own strength; those are muscles I don’t need to exercise.  I need to exercise my faith in my Master.  What I have done in the past was to try to involve Him in my day rather than consider myself involved in His.  I work for Him, not my manager, nor my customers.  It seems an odd way to view it, but both my manager and my customers are really more people He is interested in.

As Chambers points out, Jesus has revealed how I am to be devoted to Him, by loving others.  The Apostle John seemed consumed by this phrase of Jesus, and legend has it that he would repeat it whenever anyone asked for another word from Jesus’ life.  Even as he was old and carried about on a mat stretcher, he would say, “love one another.”  When asked why, he reputedly said, “because that sums up the words of Jesus,” or something to that effect.  It was as if that were the greatest commandment.  That was legend, but his first letter seems to be consumed by that theme.

So, the love I show to others is a reflection of the level of devotion I have to my Master?  Sort of.  If the love I have for others drains me, then no.  At that point the love I show to others is from my own paltry stocks instead of the limitless supply from my Master.  My access to that store is gained through time with Him.  What love I show to others is a reflection of whether or not that time ever took place, and to what degree.  Time with my Master has an affect on me.  How can it not?

That forms the tether I need to wander into the deep snake-infested water, and still be connected with my Master.  I just need to make sure I don’t untie it thinking I free myself up by doing so.  So, here I go; swim trunks and swim shirt, into the writhing waters.  At least I shouldn’t be bored.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 18

Even Greater Things of Prayer

At first I thought Chambers over emphasized prayer by calling it the "greater things" referred to in John 14:12. But as I continued reading, and as I remembered the examples from even recent church history, I admit, he may be right.

He mentions at the end the things that will be done when my orders are received from my Master, but those are not the "greater things", those are the things which Jesus did. Greater things result from the contact with my Master that is really life anyway. But I need to be disciplined to do it.

The pastor at my church yesterday spoke from Galatians 5 and covered the deeds of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit. He was right on point with the lack of compromise in my Master, but present in so much of those claiming faith in Him; including me. Those compromises more often than not are what keep me from connection with my Master. If that connection is the "greater things" than my Master did in His earthly ministry, then my failure is even more huge. Not only am I giving up time with the Maker of stars and Tracer of quarks, but I am failing to accomplish His greater things in my life.

Had the "greater things" been more dramatic like healing, raising the dead, or feeding five thousand with rocks, then failing would be difficult to pin to me. If I look at it as prayer, all my excuses evaporate like the thin mist they are. What stands revealed is the compromise I have made that keeps me from my Master's presence; the greater things I am called to.

To the degree that this blog is prayer, and to a degree it is, this process I go through each morning helps keep me in my Master's presence. The problem is that I don't blog all day. This is the same problem I have always had with prayer. At some point I stopped praying, and life swept away the effects of the time I just spent with the Master of the universe. That wasn't always the case, but it was a very real problem for me.

What I need is the daily grind prayer life that permeates my whole day. I'm not even close to that yet. I see it, and have mentioned it several times. It needs to become my focus as I try to wrap my mind around that being the "greater things" I do because my Master is before the Father once again. Part of what I need to do is unlearn the scale of success put in place from my youth; the number of souls won to the Kingdom. I need to replace that scale with how saturated my life is with conversation with my Master. Maybe if I use a hammer, the paradigm shift might work easier. I'll start with a rubber mallet though.

Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest, October 17

Praying The Harvest In? Sort of

I know a few missionaries, and prayer is constantly what they ask for.  What they see in the lives of the people in their assigned countries are addressed by prayer.  But in the denomination I followed, missionaries are becoming scarce.  The money to send them is not as plentiful as it was.  The work is being scaled back.

Part of that is the economy is the continued  problems in the American economy.  Part of that is also a shift in priorities of people, and that one is caused by fear replacing faith.  But there may be other factors involved.  I am no longer with that denomination, so I don’t contribute as I once did.  However many times that happened with others leaving the denomination, there was a hole left each time.

But the answer is not money, as the missionaries I know don’t ask for money, they ask for prayer.  But they also pray.  I don’t know how often, how fervently, or when in any given day they pray, but I know that they know it’s an integral piece of what they do.  And that is not just true for missionaries, but for all believers.

I can do whatever work I want for my King, but until I do the work He wants, I’m not serving, not really.  It’s like when my daughter helps me do a job, but only the way she wants.  It sometimes makes my job harder.  I let her do it because I want her to want to help others.  But somewhere down the line, there is a lesson that she will need to learn that help is help when I do what’s needed, not what I want. 

As a servant to the King, this is especially important to me.  I have a responsibility to serve my King in what He directs.  I’m not unique in this, I’m just acknowledging that I recognize the responsibility.  I would like to be directed at dramatic things, big things for my Master.  But right now, it’s small things, like prayer.  What I see is that my Master, like Chambers says, wants me, not my work.

In Matthew 9:38, Jesus is just going on about His ministering, and seeing the crowds, He says to His disciples, “The harvest is abundant, but the workers lack.  Therefore ask the Lord of the Harvest to send out workers into His Harvest.”  The solution is prayer.  Perhaps the disciples would the be ones sent (i.e. Matthew 10), but the sending is preceded by prayer.  And the sending of the Twelve was temporary; break during the ministry they normally followed.  But for some it was not.  The Gegaderene Demoniac was sent to the Decapolis to tell of the things that God had done for him.  He was given that task instead of being allowed to follow Jesus around (Mark 5).

My sense of reality is a dangerous thing.  When my Master directs, calls, and sends me, I can’t evaluate it on the grounds of what makes sense to me.  I’m not here in North Nevada because of what makes sense to me.  I decided to obey, and then things began to be arranged on my behalf without my control.  But obedience was preceded by prayer.  I prayed for direction and direction came.  It came in stages, and I moved ahead only in those stages given that timing.  This is an example of doing it right; one among a throng of examples of doing it wrong.

Prayer is where my Master wants me to spend my effort.  Once in His hand, tuned to His voice, then the actions I take in this community will reflect His will.  Without prayer, it is my own wisdom and ability that I work with, and the results will definitely show it.  That’s not what I want, not really.  Although, my human self-centered soul would love to have my Master’s results come out of my effort.  It doesn’t work that way, and thankfully it doesn’t.  The results my Master brings about come out of His work and my obedience leads me to the background.

That may sound odd in our culture of seeking that 15 minutes of fame spoken of so much.  But I can’t save anyone from hell.  Why would I want attention from others?  The attention needs to be on my Master who does save people from hell.  If I distract anyone from Him, I will be removed by my Master.  The life of those distracted people around me depends on Him removing me, the distraction.

So, I point to my Master.  I direct praise I get toward Him, but I do so in a way that removes me from center stage and pulls me into the background setting where I belong.  I can’t just willy-nilly praise Him when I am praised, that only tries to intensify the attention I get with false humility (which is really obvious, and usually turns me off of personality-based ministries).  I have a responsibility to others to magnify my Master to my exclusion.

One important way I do that is to own publicly my weaknesses.  When I am clearly weak and imperfect, then any praise for what is accomplished through me has to go to my Master, there’s no other explanation.  This is one of the important reasons for the accountability I have through this blog.  I own my weaknesses here on the world-wide web so it will be blatantly obvious to even the most casual observer that I can do nothing and my Master does everything.

Pray that the Lord of the Harvest will send out workers into His Harvest.  More workers are needed, so I must pray.  By the way, so the power of prayer is understood, my daughter is now doing dishes; right now.  She protested, but I just went on with the blog.  She got up, went into the kitchen and started doing them.  That was not me, I left it in my Masters hands.  Now, if He would just get her to put the dry ones away first (one step at a time, one step at a time).

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 16

Engaging the Enemy While Busy Talking to God? Exactly!

Back in the account of the downside of the Mount of Transfiguration, the disciples finally get a chance to ask Jesus why they could not cast out the demon.  Why not this time after all the success on the road previously?  His answer is that “this kind can not go out if not in prayer.”  It seems an odd explanation.

It reveals that there are “kinds” of demons which is chilling.  It assumes (and He would know) that the disciples weren’t praying.  The alternative is that they were trying to cast the demon out by their own power using the name of Jesus as a “tool”; much like a pry bar, or spiritual jaws of life.  I can see the disciples doing something of this sort.

In some sense, it is like relying on my own power after relying on Jesus for salvation and sanctification.  I giddily run at the demon shouting behind me, “I got this one!”  I have to remember that I run in borrowed armor, and therefore clumsily, prone to falling, and having to hitch up the belt while holding the sword and shield.  And then the breastplate always seems to be in the wrong spot to reach the buckle on the belt.  I’m telling you, truth is hard sometimes.  Denial is a lot easier.  Of course, it’s also a lot less effective.

So, why prayer (and fasting if you have an older translation)?  I agree with Chambers who says that this sort requires a close connection of uninterrupted contact with Jesus.  I would think a lot of things fit into this category, and I have no idea what “kind” of demon fits into it and what kind doesn’t.  I would think they all would.

Now, don’t misunderstand me here, I don’t have experience facing demon possessed people.  My spiritual warfare experience comes from prayer walks, personal intercessory prayer for protection from the enemy for my family, and group prayer over a brother or sister spiritually oppressed (not depressed).  It’s not that I don’t believe demon possession doesn’t happen, it’s just that my Master hasn’t ever presented me with that sort of issue so far.

But even in those circumstances I have been faced with, I still only experience any measure of success when I sink deep into my Master in prayer.  It’s like wading out into a deep mountain lake, only it’s warm and comforting; and I can feel it consume me in it’s warmth like a blanket, yet it remains unimaginably massive.  It is from this safe place I try to engage in spiritual battle successfully.  I wish I could say that’s the only place I engage in spiritual battle, but it seems I’m a slow learner.

And so, I see that my bunker for spiritual battle is my Master.  My armor and weapons belong to Him, and I have it on loan (so, therefore it fits Him and not so much me, just in case you were wondering about the third paragraph).  I don’t hunker down, I sally forth in prayer.  I engage the spiritual forces of darkness while in conversation with my Master.  I follow the tactics of Michael who refused to rebuke the enemy and instead said, “The Lord rebuke you!” (Jude 9). 

In a sense, I hold a place in line while the work is done by my Master.  He leads the charge, engages the enemy and defeats them.  I hold a place with my fellows.  I pray.  I seek His face and in the ensuing conversation witness the destruction of powers that held captives, the fall of dark forces oppressing myself and other believers, and the total defeat of a power of the air that seeks to devour straying souls.  It’s better than HBO and ESPN, I’ll tell you that.  My team always wins.  Hu-Rah!

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 3, 2011

The Future, Myself, This Blog, and my Master

The site for MUFHH is back online.  What a relief?  Not really.  Now I am questioning the entire work of this blog.  Today, using the passage in 1 Peter 2:9 (royal priesthood and so on), Chambers says I am to forget about praying and focusing on my own change, and focus on priestly prayer for others.  So, does that nullify all that I have written over the past six months on this blog? 

This blog has ever been about God’s work in my life.  It has been about where He is changing me, and what I see I need to change.  It has never been about what others should do.  I write to hold myself accountable to a wider group, not to propagate change in others.  That sounds self-centered, but I believe that my Master is working out the change in me, and will do so in others.  It’s not my job to change others.  Perhaps these entries will influence others.

But writing for me, writing about what I am going through, and writing daily may be overly self-focused.  What about the work of intercessory prayer for others?  After all, the passage referring to believers as a royal priesthood is about going before my Master on behalf of others.  This is a lot of work and time to spend on myself.  So, is it right to spend so liberally on myself?

I really do not have a lot of feedback on any effect this is having on others.  And from the beginning I said that this is not about the effect it has on others.  From the outset this has been about being accountable with the work of my Master in my own life.  And there has been a lot of change in my own life.  I am not the same person I was at the end of 2010.  I have a long way to go, just for 12 months of sobriety.  And I have a lot to pass through to get there.  But I have come so far, and I am humbled, and confused.

Why has it taken so long?  Why, after wrestling with my addictive sin for over 20 years, am I only now finding freedom from it?  The only real difference is my posture of submission.  I have tried to submit before, but had a mental block or wall.  I am not sure what it was other than depression.  I seemed drawn to depression as a default response to most of life.

Once I have moved, I plan to jump into another 12-step program I have found where I am going.  It is one I am familiar with already, and really like.  Not every place does the program the same, and I prefer when it is done according to the program guidelines.  So I am a bit concerned about how they do it, but since I have no way of knowing, there is no sense in worrying about it.  That it is available is remarkable enough.

Perhaps that program will be enough of an outlet that this blog will no longer be necessary.  I would miss the discipline.  But I need to be open to my Master’s leading and guiding.  This discipline can be replaced by another.  But I also sense I would miss this blog on a relational level as well.  It is as if I am writing to someone, even if no one reads this.

Maybe this blog will continue, but rather than meanderings from MUFHH, I will meander from another source, and toward another goal.  Perhaps I will begin to write for others, not necessarily to others, but on their behalf, fulfilling the role of royal priest in that way.  There is certainly a lot for which to pray, the world is filled with need.  In fact, much of the hurt and pain in this world is caused by excessive degrees of the addiction I suffer.  I have some specific insight into an area of human need I know too much about.  Perhaps that will be what this blog will morph into.

In any case, and to whatever degree, the important thing is not to jump into or out of something unless I am following my Master.  It is not what I or others think of the actions I take, but whether those actions I take are guided and directed by my Master, driven by obedient devotion to Him.  Obedience is better than sacrifice, especially in ministering, and even more so in spiritual disciplines.  I cannot allow this blog to become about this blog, it must always be an expression of my Master’s will.  I believe that to date, He has been glorified, and not so much me.  This is a season of change in my life, and so this blog may change too.  But as I have followed my Master through this change, I must continue to follow Him; even regarding this blog.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, June 21