The Fractured Reality of Sodom 5: The View From Outside

Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD. (Genesis 13:12-13 NASB)

Then they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah and all their food supply, and departed.  They also took Lot, Abram's nephew, and his possessions and departed, for he was living in Sodom. (Genesis 14:11-12 NASB)

 The king of Sodom said to Abram, "Give the people to me and take the goods for yourself."  Abram said to the king of Sodom, "I have sworn to the LORD God Most High, possessor of heaven and earth, that I will not take a thread or a sandal thong or anything that is yours, for fear you would say, 'I have made Abram rich.'  I will take nothing except what the young men have eaten, and the share of the men who went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; let them take their share." (Genesis 14:21-24 NASB)

Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening as Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. (Genesis 19:1 NASB)

But they said, "Stand aside." Furthermore, they said, "This one came in as an alien, and already he is acting like a judge; now we will treat you worse than them." So they pressed hard against Lot and came near to break the door. (Genesis 19:9 NASB)

The problem of Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't a secret.  When Lot settled there after he and Abram left Egypt, it was known what sort of place it was.  In spite of that, he settled close.  Very shortly thereafter, he is found living inside the city, having given up his tents (we're not sure about the flocks, herds, etc.).

Abram knows what sort of place Sodom is, how it's view by his Master, and doesn't accept anything from their king.  In fact he says something rather interesting, he says that he doesn't want the king of Sodom to be able to say that he made Abram rich.  The reason I find that interesting is how he ties wealth to Sodom.  Lot's wealth seems to evaporate, yet the city and its king are known for wealth.  There isn't a reason given, but in that time period, trade is the usual manner in which cities and people gained wealth.  The reason that Lot chose that area was because, as the text says, it was lush like the garden of God.  So, agriculture would likely have played an important part, both farming and herding.

On the other hand, they really weren't soldiers or at least not good ones, and one consistent thing about agrarian cultures is that they can usually wallop city-folk.  They only lose because they don't have the numbers, but man-for-man bet on the farmer.  That's not very..."good" deductive reasoning or even an educated guess; really it's more personal observation and prejudice.  But it leaves room for another marginal hypothesis on where the wealth of Sodom came from.  What if it were gambling and other "pleasure" commerce?  Is it a general truth that people who work hard, also play hard?  Maybe not, but it is often true, especially if they work hard remote from their homes and families.  So what if Sodom were filled with distilleries, bordellos, casinos, and restaurants?  Perhaps all of these were combined into an "Inn" where travelers passed the night.  Who knows, but it's not as likely as trade commerce.  Those sorts of things may have been present, but it is a long shot that they fueled the economy (although distilleries do burn well...).

The reason I bring up those particular business types is because they fuel the degradation of my culture and country, at least in my opinion.  Those sorts of businesses make  their income from the weakness of people.  Both legal and illegal chemicals to loose touch with reality are available here.  While prostitution is illegal (except in outlying regions of Nevada), it is a common vice in major cities.  Now casinos are popping up on Native American Reservations all across the country.  And restaurants feed a natural, but over indulged human appetite.

I like restaurants, and frequent them; but I'm gaining weight (not their fault, but they don't hep either).  I don't drink, don't have a problem with people who do, but it's hard not to read at least one local news source without one of the articles announcing another alcohol-related death.  Prostitution is wrong, most people agree with that, yet in movies, advertising, and other entertainment sex is usually a part of the "attraction".  Gambling consumes peoples time, finances, and souls; my opinion, and I know it's not alone in that, but there it is.  These examples of "commerce" are hurting my country and my people.

As I said, I do participate in some of these businesses, well, restaurants anyway.  So, in a sense I too am "entranced" by Sodom, giving in to the attraction of what I know to be wrong, or at least dangerous.  On other elements, I look on but don't address the problems, somewhat like the cities and regions around Sodom.  They traded with them, contributing to their wealth and, therefore, their degradation.  How far off am I from Lot and others?  Not as far as I should be.  I believe my Master calls it "holiness" and it gets tough really fast.  Time to, once again, put on my "big boy pants" and get after it.  See you tomorrow?

The Fractured Reality of Sodom 4: The Fractured Reality of Lot

Lot went up from Zoar, and stayed in the mountains, and his two daughters with him; for he was afraid to stay in Zoar; and he stayed in a cave, he and his two daughters.  Then the firstborn said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of the earth.  "Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father."  So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.  On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, "Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father."  So they made their father drink wine that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.  Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.  The firstborn bore a son, and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day.  As for the younger, she also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi; he is the father of the sons of Ammon to this day. (Genesis 19:30-38 NASB)

The cities of the valley (except for Zoar) are all slag.  They probably still smoke.  Lot and his two daughters are the only survivors of the dramatic conflagration of the most sinful cities on the planet.  Yet, he's afraid to stay in Zoar.  I would think he'd be somewhat of a celebrity and have a great story to tell.  But he is afraid, and it doesn't say what of.  Perhaps he feared that God would complete the destruction of the valley with Zoar, and he didn't want to be anywhere near there.

So, he leaves with his two daughter, and where does he go?  The mountains to live in a cave.  I don't get that.  Sure the angels told him to run to the hills, but they never said to live there!  They said to leave the region, then relented and let him reach Zoar.  They were safe, of sorts.  All he had was lost to Sodom before the angels appeared.  He leaves with himself, his wife, and his two daughters, and only he and his daughters make it.  They are of marrying age, so where else would you take such ladies to live?  A cave is such an obvious choice...oh wait.

What I can't figure out is why he didn't return to Abraham.  Obviously the problem they had before was not a problem now since Lot didn't have herds and flocks, and so on.  He had to know that Abraham would take him back since he had already gone to such lengths to save him from the raiding kings of the east.  Why it never occurs to him to "go home" is really puzzling to me.  If it's pride, he's only in for more shame.  And if it's for shame, it's about to get worse.  The final degradation of Lot only shows his own fractured reality, and how it is passed on to, and through, his daughters.

His two daughters decide to get their father drunk, and have children by him.  They can't imagine husbands for themselves while they live in a cave (I'm with them on that one).  So incest seems the best solution to them.  But they know that their father won't cooperate willingly, so they use the common "date rape drug" of the time, wine.  While I think the unwillingness of Lot, and that his daughters knew that about him is a credit to his character, I can't balance that against the decision to live in a cave in the first place.  His character is overshadowed by a broken reality.  Their solution makes me shudder, but I can understand (but only at a distance) why they felt it was necessary.  They are without hope, and their father's faith isn't one they want to be a part of.

So where is the point for me?  Where do I fit in this picture of a fractured reality?  Unfortunately way too close.  Addicts of any sort on their way toward sobriety will be able to see themselves in this account.  The Big Book of AA calls it "hitting bottom"; it's when the fractured reality fractures and reality hits home like a sledge hammer.  The illusions finally implode, unable to support the consequences kept at bay by denial for so long.  What becomes clear looking back over the wreckage of life is how far away from reality I could get.  It was surreal, and hard to believe, even seeing it in print (Step 4, the moral inventory).  It was like it happened to someone else.

The common theme of a lost touch with reality, the behavior out of control, and the ruinous effects on families is all part of the addiction.  Even that Lot lost everything (seemingly before the angels arrived - there were no household servants or flocks, herds, or anything to save) is so familiar to recovering addicts.  The addiction will consume everything material, emotional, and, eventually, spiritual.  So, to an embarrassing degree, I do get Lot.  I do actually understand being so driven by shame that I believed I couldn't go home, couldn't be honest, couldn't let anyone into my life because they'd hate me, reject me, hurt me, and I'd be alone (which is where I was because of my behavior anyway - duh).  Yep, being a bonehead is something I have on my "resume" for wherever I go.  I own it now, seeking in honesty, to keep it from happening again.  I seek that painful ground in reality that hurts, is uncomfortable, and creates dependence on my Master and His other followers.  So, my lot in life is to be an example that it's possible to go home again.  It may hurt, and it is a lot of shame to own, but it is possible.  And it is a lot better than living in a cave; lots better.

The Fractured Reality of Sodom 3: Why Is It So Hard To Leave?

When morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Up, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away in the punishment of the city."  But he hesitated. So the men seized his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, for the compassion of the LORD was upon him; and they brought him out, and put him outside the city.  When they had brought them outside, one said, "Escape for your life! Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the valley; escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away."  But Lot said to them, "Oh no, my lords!  Now behold, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have magnified your lovingkindness, which you have shown me by saving my life; but I cannot escape to the mountains, for the disaster will overtake me and I will die; now behold, this town is near enough to flee to, and it is small. Please, let me escape there (is it not small?) that my life may be saved."  He said to him, "Behold, I grant you this request also, not to overthrow the town of which you have spoken.  Hurry, escape there, for I cannot do anything until you arrive there." Therefore the name of the town was called Zoar.  The sun had risen over the earth when Lot came to Zoar.  Then the LORD rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven, and He overthrew those cities, and all the valley, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.  But his wife, from behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:15-26 NASB)

Okay, so Lot knows who these guys are, they tell him they are here to destroy the city, and yet, he can't seem to get it together to leave.  Really?  A roving mob of nocturnal rapists makes up the most common past time of the place and yet Lot can't let the place go.  I find it difficult to understand why he's there in the first place.  I was hoping that he was hoping to share the influence of his God with them.  But his refusal to leave flies in the face of that.  If he truly believed in the power of God and truth of the coming destruction, I would hope his faith would impel him to get out of Dodge.

The text is alarmingly specific here.  Lot "hesitated".  The angels had to take he, his wife, and his two daughters by the hand and bring them out of Sodom.  They were told to run for the hills, but Lot then negotiates to make for a small town on the plain because the hills are too far.  The angel tells him that nothing will happen until he's safe, but he wants the town.  And God gives him that. 

The text is also specific that this is happening for Lot because of the compassion of God and his love of Abraham.  I would also include the patience of God.  These two angels put up with way more than they should have from Lot.  So strong was the love and compassion of God (in the midst of His wrath - don't miss the irony here) that He endured the failures of Lot as He saved he and his family. 

We are not told, and I find it really difficult to guess at the attraction of Sodom.  What was it that was so difficult to give up, especially given the description of the place?  On the other hand, I am not so far out of my own refuse pile of sin that I can't remember how difficult it is to release.  There are many things to which people give themselves that consume them and yet are difficult to let go.  I remember mine, and still, occasionally feel it's pull back.  So, while the text may not tell us what it was specifically with Sodom, I suspect that it had to do with all those things to which a person can loose themselves.  I suspect Lot had his, even though we may not be told what it was specifically.  It was as if all the addictions off humanity were located in those two cities.  That would explain such a fractured reality on an entire community.

I see the difficulties and the casualties of my own sin in my life.  I see here the description of Lot's (and his gets worse on in the chapter).  While I'm not told the specific sin, the consequences are described, and I can readily recognize the connections with my own life.  In fact, there are still things I find it difficult to give up, and I don't know why.  Perhaps I need to spend more time here letting the lesson of Lot sink in.  There is a message from my Master to my soul here: LET IT GO!

The life I live in this world, I should be living in relationship with my Master.  Only then is life truly eternal.  Isn't it another kind of fractured reality to endure something in my life that hinders this relationship?  Does it make any more sense for me to hold on to anything, sinful sounding or not, that impedes my walk with my Master, my availability to Him, my ability to hear Him, and therefore obey Him?  In these ways, am I not like Lot?  A little too much for my comfort.

The Fractured Reality of Sodom 2: The Mob, The Judge, And The Angels

Before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, surrounded the house, both young and old, all the people from every quarter; and they called to Lot and said to him, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have relations with them."  But Lot went out to them at the doorway, and shut the door behind him, and said, "Please, my brothers, do not act wickedly.  "Now behold, I have two daughters who have not had relations with man; please let me bring them out to you, and do to them whatever you like; only do nothing to these men, inasmuch as they have come under the shelter of my roof."  But they said, "Stand aside." Furthermore, they said, "This one came in as an alien, and already he is acting like a judge; now we will treat you worse than them." So they pressed hard against Lot and came near to break the door.  But the men reached out their hands and brought Lot into the house with them, and shut the door.  They struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they wearied themselves trying to find the doorway. (Genesis 19:4-11 NASB)

I don't know where to start.  I was expecting to be shocked, to find a wickedness, but the depths of this shocked me.  I was hoping to somehow rescue the character of Lot from his surroundings, but I'm failing.  I'm trying to find some cultural or ethnic tradition or something that explains what I read, but I'm not finding it.  So, I will simply unpack it and let be what it is.

The men of Sodom, from all over the city and from all age groups, form a mob.  It's not said this is usual or not, a festival or not, but they circle themselves around the house.  Their intent is the men who came to Lot's house; they want to "know" them, and, in this case, it would be "biblically".  So a mob, forming for no other clear reason than to take the men who just came to the city, encircle Lot's house and call for him to send them out.  Remember that Lot strongly urged the angels, who intended to stay in the plaza, to stay with him.  I infer from this that the mob was neither an isolated occurrence, nor surprising to Lot.  He seemed to know what was coming.

Some sort of "carnival" (in the ancient sense of that word) would go a long way to explain their behavior, but none is mentioned.  Perhaps every night was "carnival night" in Sodom.  The moral conditions of the place are not explained, but merely described.  It's creepy.  The attitude that spawns such behavior is in every part of the city, and in every generation of them.  They don't "grow out of it" at some point.  It is pervasive, insidious, and completely irrational.

Before you jump all over the "irrational" judgement, ask yourself, how do these people conduct trade with other cities or regions if this is how they treat visitors?  How can they survive without commerce?  The very fact that they are known by other cities and regions was demonstrated in chapter 14, so how can they adopt this mode of behavior and still remain a viable presence?  It is truly irrational to behave as they are.

And yet, Abraham considers them a moral blight on the land even as he rescues their goods (and Lot) from conquering kings.  So, they are known for their evil even before this.  And yet, they are tolerated by their neighbors.  They aren't a military power (they lost a battle where 318 + 4 won), so what is it that they have which is so "tolerable" to their neighbors?  And it's not just their neighbors.

When Lot goes out to speak with them, he calls them "brothers"!  Really?  Seriously?  The whole passage quickly takes on the surreal psychotic feel very quickly.  How can such a place exist?  Even during the 30-years war, the Catholics and Protestants agreed on one thing, the destruction of Muenster was necessary.  They joined forces and burnt it to the ground.  It was recognized by both sides as an evil place.  Why that hasn't happened here, long ago, baffles me.

"And everyone's okay with this?"  Lot's answer to their plea is to send out his virgin daughters.  I'm shocked!  I have no explanation for such a suggestion.  It could be part of hospitality in that culture, but I don't find other examples of it.  First he calls them "brothers" and then offers them his daughters if they will just leave the visitors alone.  They refuse.  Of course they do.  Why would a mob of men want a couple of women when there are two men as options?  The place is upside down, and the condition is pervasive, and for whatever reason, "acceptable" to their neighbors.

So, at what point does such insidious evil become acceptable to me?  What has to happen to me and what do I need to experience to find such things acceptable?  Probably way too much.  But what if the people and attitude of Sodom wasn't "acceptable" to their neighbors (they didn't necessarily do the same things), but the neighbors were apathetic?  Now I'm closer to fitting the description.  How often to I turn a blind eye or deaf ear to the wickedness of my own country?  It's become such a cacophony that it blends into a constant noise I have learned to ignore.  There's just too much of it to deal with, it seems hopeless to stand against it.

But that is me living in Sodom, calling the people "my brothers", and seeking to mollify them by sacrificing what is precious to me.  I haven't reached that point yet, but really, how far away is it?  When I don't speak out against the vocal evil, isn't that tacit acceptance?  When I refuse to point out that my Master is against behavior am I not loosing my moral ground?  At least Lot tried to be a judge to bring some semblance of righteousness to the place.  It did no good but have I even tried that? 

I think I am supposed to judge from my Master's perspective.  I am to be vocal about what my Master says is important.  I am supposed to be "judgmental" because my Master has given me, and all His followers, the responsibility to be a vocal proponent and an object lesson of what He says.  But am I?  Do I address the evil around me as the evil it is?  Do I point out wickedness?  No, I don't.  And more often than not it is because I am aware of the wickedness in my own life and do not see myself as qualified to point it out.  I fear being a hypocrite who is as bad as those he criticizes.  But my Master calls me to be His broken and cracked jar of His glory.  He has called me and my fellow believers to own the failures of our lives and cry out against the evil around us.  It takes both confession and proclamation.  It's not comfortable; less comfortable than apathy against the evil.

So, to change I have to man-up, put on my "big boy pants", and stand in integrity against the evil of my community.  Integrity means owning my failures, but not letting them disqualify me from vocally and actively standing for my Master's views.  Bold words.  Now I need to give them hands and feet, and therefore steel.  Deep breath.  Okay, let's do it.

The Fractured Reality of Sodom 1: The Unexpected Judge

Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening as Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground.  And he said, "Now behold, my lords, please turn aside into your servant's house, and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way." They said however, "No, but we shall spend the night in the square."  Yet he urged them strongly, so they turned aside to him and entered his house; and he prepared a feast for them, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate. (Genesis 19:1-3 NASB)

In this chapter I am going to wander into the spooky world that is Sodom before it's destroyed.  Right off the bat, in the first few verses, I find what I would never expect.  In the ancient days of cities, the gates were important places.  It constituted the "courts" of their day.  The elders of a city would sit and deliberate various civil cases that people brought before them.  The elders were said to be "sitting in the gate" for this purpose.  This phrase appears right in verse 1, and it's Lot!  What this verse essentially says is that at this time Lot is an elder in Sodom, the most sinful place on the planet at the time.

What does it mean to be an elder in Sodom?  Lot clearly has enough of his sensibilities to recognize the two angels for what they were.  His greeting is much like Abraham's in the previous chapter.  It doesn't say specifically he was the only elder, but no one else is mentioned.  I infer from the way it's worded here that he is the only one.  Could it be that "elder" and judge over civil disputes is a job that, instead of being highly regarded, was held in contempt?  What if Lot took the job because no one else was willing, and he saw it as important?  With all the sin in the city, why wasn't he so busy he may not have even noticed the angels?  It's like he's a judge and an elder, but without respect or recognized authority. 

What if Lot's ability to recognize the angels infers some degree of "righteousness" still exists with him?  In that case, the city would have had a "righteous judge" whom they completely ignored.  He should have had influence for God in that place as an elder and judge, but didn't.  There should have been constant inquiries of what Lot thought on a matter, and there wasn't.  Consider what sort of city has a righteous judge whom they completely disregard and hold in contempt.  Laws are only effective when the society enforces them.  It is understood (but rarely contemplated) that people have to agree to live by laws for those laws to have their desired effect.  It takes more than force for laws to begin to work.  The force of a few rarely works for long against the unwillingness of a mob to comply.  The right to assemble is a frightening thing for those in power.

What's my point?  It's common for us to point at another city and say, "Sin City!"  But in my own town, in my own neighborhood, do I have any effect on the moral health of those around me?  What about the sin in my city, in my neighborhood?  Does my Master have influence through me in these places?  It's easy to point at other places, other people, and other mobs, but what about my place, my people, and the mob of people around me?  What sort of influence am I here?  If I were to "sit in the gate" here would I be ignored?  If I put myself forward as an elder, would I be respected?  Would people in my neighborhood wonder what I thought of matters of concern to them?

It's not about how great I might be, it's about how much influence my Master has through me.  I'm not really wise, I try to be sensitive to my Master's Spirit leading me.  I'm not "powerful", I rely on the power of my Master.  I'm not respected around here, instead I try to let my Master's words gain respect for Him.  So, what sort of influence do I have?  How effective am I in my efforts to point others to my Master?  I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I don't know.  I feel I should, at least know more than I do.  I believe, wrongly or rightly, that there should be some tangible evidence of my influence for my Master right here where I live.  But I don't know of it.  I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing out an area of my life where I believe I'm lacking.  I also believe the answer is fearless devotion to my Master.  So, it's time for me to take a deep breath and take a step out my door and into the lives of those I live around.  Scary, but necessary.

How Close to Sodom Do I Get?

They also took Lot, Abram's nephew, and his possessions and departed, for he was living in Sodom. (Genesis 14:12 NASB)

Lot had moved from his tents and flocks on the valley floor near Sodom to actually living in Sodom.  This move made he and his stuff "plunder" and he was carried off by the kings of the east.  He saw the "good green land" and in spite of its proximity to Sodom, chose that.  He pitched his tents near Sodom, out of all the region of the valley.  And one chapter later he's in the city itself.

It's easy for me to point to Lot, and cluck my tongue, and shake my head, and think, "What an idiot", but am I that critical of myself?  If I look at my life, in the past and even now, have I chosen the "good green land" where it looks easy to make a living?  Have I ignored the influence of evil the sight of my Master so I could provide for my lifestyle easier?  Did I decide to pitch my tents, out of all the area I chose to live in, right next to the evil influence; away from the joy of my Master? 

Fernley used to be the fasted growing city in the nation.  It's now one of the most (if not the most) economically depressed cities/communities in Nevada, one of the most economically depressed states.  From Hero to Zero in less than three years.  It easy for me to look at the obvious mistakes of the area, the over building, the excessive amount of "investment property" and the over-growth of certain types of businesses (7 pizza joints, and no donut shop - that just confuses me).  Yet, what about my life, and my choices?

I chose to bail on ministry back in Y2K, (remember that?), and I probably should not have.  I chose to leave school instead of pursuing a PhD, and I probably should have stayed and gone into teaching.  I moved to California to get back into ministry only to have it unravel before it even began.  I probably should not have done that either.  Yet, I left ministry to protect my family; I left school because I was champing at the bit to get at what I had trained 10 years for; and I left Arizona to try and fix my past mistakes, and get back into the ministry I had left.  Nothing I tried worked very well.

When I was in ministry, the people tore me and my wife up emotionally.  When I was out of ministry and taking care of our home, I was in deep depression and nearly useless.  When I failed to get back into ministry I wound up in whatever job I could find, which turned out to be a huge mortgage company (which is now no longer in existence). 

I can focus on my mistakes, ones I've mentioned and the ones I haven't.  I can, but I don't have to.  If I continue to take Lot as my example, there will be a time when he has another chance to choose.  He could live with nothing or return to his uncle.  He chose to live with nothing in a cave with his two daughters.  He hit bottom and still refused to repent.  I need to learn from his example rather than following it. 

Sure I can see my mistakes, but I also have a Master willing to receive me back.  It's my responsibility to return.  That means admitting I have been wrong, submitting to my Master, and again taking up the role of walking before Him.  He has called me to wait on His word, worship Him as Master, and walk before Him as His servant.  Now, whatever job I am in becomes a ministry, whatever church group I am in becomes an opportunity for worship, and whenever I am confronted with confusion I have an opportunity for instruction.  Where shall I go today, my Master?

If God Has My Back - Genesis 14

I'm not going to paste the entire chapter here, for thing I think it violates copyright laws.  But I encourage anyone reading this to first read that whole chapter before reading the rest of this.  A lot of this won't make sense without first being freshly familiar with this chapter.  I thought I was familiar with it enough, and yet still, working through it again brought new stuff.  Go read that first and then come back to this.

Welcome back...if you're honest anyway.  If not, go read the chapter.

The essence of this chapter is that kings (possibly including the famous king, Hammarabi) from the region of Mesopotamia (Iraq, possibly Syria), attacked the area on the East side of the Jordan River.  They got to nearly everyone in that region, including the cities along the valley floor (except for Jericho...which is really weird).  After defeating all those kingdoms, they meet the kings of Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah (Edom), Zeboim (Gazelles), and Bela (Zoar) by the Dead Sea.

It's a rout, and every survivor of the Dead Sea region flees to the hills.  The victorious kings plunder the area, including Sodom, and take Lot and his stuff captive.  Not a lot of the battle is described, just the first part and the running away part.  The reason for the campaign in this region seems to be the rebellion of the Dead Sea Kings against the King of Elam with whom they had a covenant (one not in their favor).  When they didn't pay their tribute, they got away with it for a year, then the armies came from the east.

One of the survivors fleeing to the hills comes to Abram in Hebron.  Hearing what happened to Lot, he doesn't hesitate, but takes off with three of his friends and all the "tried" men of his household (318) and takes off after the four victorious kings.  All it says is that he catches up with them at Dan, divides his forces, attacks at night, and pursues them to North of Damascus.  Abram wins.  All the other kings and cities fail, but he, the nomad-sheep-and-cattle-herder, succeeds; and chases them half-way home.

This may seem rather incredible, it does to me.  He doesn't even hesitate, though.  It does not seem he had any doubt about what to do.  It was insurmountable, very foolish, and clearly hopeless, but he does it anyway.  It was as if, since family was involved, he willingly went to his doom out of family honor.  I sort of wonder if Sarai was thinking about how she might get back down to Egypt to see Pharaoh when Abram didn't return. 

I somehow doubt there was any doubt though.  I don't think there was any concern that they might not succeed, in spite of the success record of their enemies.  Abram was confident enough to bring his four new friends, brothers with whom he had an alliance.  And they were confident enough to go with him.  Where did this confidence come from?  Where do I get a dose of that?

Back in chapter 12, God promises Abram protection.  Abram has seen it at work in Egypt, and along the way as he traveled.  He may have known these kings from the region he was raised in and left not long ago.  And he knew his God.  In comparison, he saw there was really no comparison.  So, he had his relationship with his King and experience in that relationship. 

I have that experience.  I have seen my Master care for me in ways I couldn't imagine.  I have seen Him make ends meet that I didn't even know existed; connect dots I couldn't see to draw between.  Recently I have seen that my Master is Master over all the things I care about, and over all things I don't.  I am learning slowly to relinquish my desire to make happen what I believe needs to happen.  Instead, I simply need to do what I see He wants done.  He loves me, He has my back, and I am at His service.  I am free to serve, and to be used by Him to accomplish His purposes, or at least I should be.

But being that available requires me to constantly give up my causes, priorities, and my purposes.  That's hard for me.  It's hard in my family, in my job, and in my church.  I want to right wrongs, and fix peoples misconceptions, and build faith!  Not my job, that's my Master's job.  I may see a need or a lack, and my Master may be leading me to address it, but not to "fix" it.  He wants to use me to fix it.  I'm not the faith-mechanic, I'm the faith-wrench.  I don't get to choose one day to be a "wrench" and another an "impact wrench" or "hammer-drill".  Again, my Master chooses how to use me, and what for.  I still try to be some sort of dramatic hero, but that's not my role.  I'm scenery, set dressing, and props.  He is the Star, the Hero.

I was reminded this weekend that I'm not the one making happen what I see needs to happen.  I may see what needs to happen, but my role is not the doer, but one of the ones used to do it.  But I can't be used in that role if I keep trying to take control and be the one doing.  To be used, I have to let go of control.  I'm trying.  I'm struggling with it, but I'm trying.  Oh Master, please help me, and once again, be patient while I wrestle with my selfish ambition.  I will bring it to you captive, I will.  And I will try to hurry; there's work to be done, and You have a use for me I'm missing.

A Little Alone Time, Without Lot

Now Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents.  And the land could not sustain them while dwelling together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to remain together.  And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. Now the Canaanite and the Perizzite were dwelling then in the land.  So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers.  Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left."  Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere -- this was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah -- like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar.  So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other.  Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom.  Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD.  The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever.  "I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered.  Arise, walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it to you."  Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the oaks of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the LORD. (Genesis 13:5-18 NASB)

I am on my own for a bit this week.  So, indulge me for a moment while I project my loneliness onto Abram in this passage.  When Lot left, was Abram lonely?  I suppose anywhere from a quarter, a third, or even perhaps half of what was about Abram just up and moved away.  Was he sad, and did he miss his nephew? In my imagination, he did; but mostly because I miss my wife today.


It would be ironic that after separating for strife that he would miss the "hubbub", but isn't that how it goes?  My wife is off because she's taking her mom on a trip, so there's no strife involved.  And I realize the reasons I miss her span from my love for her to selfish self pity (yeah, I have range...).  So, my situation isn't really like Abram's except in the hole the person leaves in my life.


But for me, my loneliness has a duration of two more days.  Abram didn't have that.  He knew his separation was indefinite.  Sure he might visit or perhaps Lot might visit, but they would never again be together like they were.  The hole left is much larger, and not due to the size of the group that left, but due to the relationship lost.


It is in the midst of these emotions, however strong or weak they were, when God shows up and speaks with Abram about his descendants.  Was it encouraging or sobering?  Did Abram find comfort in being told that one day his children would possess the land he viewed from the hills of Beth-El?  In response he goes to Hebron, builds another altar, and calls on the name of God.  So, I would guess he responds positively to what he's told.


In these times of being alone, I seek to hear from my Master.  Yet, my Master is Master even over communication.  He doesn't necessarily speak what I want, when I want, in ways I prefer.  Instead, He draws me in, not with words, but with the gnawing need in my soul for His presence.  He may speak to me, but what I need is to walk about before Him, be in His presence, and seek His face.  I need Him more than the blessings and more than a word from Him.


So, in the first light of this day, I enter the presence of my Master.  I confess my short falls, and embrace His purification.  And then I walk about in this day, but always in His presence.  I walk before Him and strive to be blameless; not the easy road.  I suppose I should start it with breakfast.  A bowl of cereal sounds good; and eggs, yeah, and "green smoothie!"  Hmm...

A Passing Grade

Now Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents.  And the land could not sustain them while dwelling together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to remain together.  And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. Now the Canaanite and the Perizzite were dwelling then in the land.  So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers.  "Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left."  Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere -- this was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah -- like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar.  So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other.  Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom.  Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD.  The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever.  "I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered.  "Arise, walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it to you."  Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the oaks of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the LORD. (Genesis 5-18, NASB)

After Abram returns to the altar at Beth-El, it might be expected that God speak to him, and God does, but not until he and Lot separate.  While it might not be the point, it is hard to miss that God promises great things to Abram after he handles the problem with Lot well.  Abram handles it in an unselfish way that demonstrates confidence in God for his well-being.

What remaining in the hill-country means is that Abram will be moving more often than Lot will need to, so his herds have enough to eat.  As it turns out, Lot actually moves into Sodom, leaving tent-living behind completely.  The area around him has no problem sustaining his herds and flocks. 

So Abram, the chief, the head of the family, the eldest living son of Terah, lets his younger brother's son have the "pick of the land" and accepts the more meager of the choices.  The text doesn't say this is a test, but the blessing Abram receives after is interesting in that it includes that "good land" Lot chose, not just the hill-country from where Abram views the rest.

The husband of a barren wife, nomad through a land of strangers and pagans, and tent-dweller in a land of walled cities is promised descendants as numerous as dust and the land he treads through.  If the conflict with Lot was a test, the prize for passing might be seen as hollow.  Abram had no way to achieve such a result.  He couldn't make Sarai fertile, and he could not hope to conquer the cities around him.  Yet his Master promises, and Abram believes.

I can only imagine what others would have thought if he shared this promise with them.  It would have been rather incredulous to hear a nomad with a barren wife speak of a promise from his God which would give him innumerable descendants and all the land around him.  I doubt it would have seemed easier to believe if he then told me it would happen years down the road, not just yet.  So, grow older and then God will give you children and the strength to conquer the land?  Not likely.  Yet I believe the writer of Hebrews nails it when he refers to Abram and others as looking for a city unseen that they would only experience after they had died.  Now that is faith.

I wonder where my faith would run out.  Would I have the faith to follow my Master even believing that I may not live to see the result of my obedience?  Do I have the faith that does not require vindication before those I live among?  Is it in me to obey in the face of being thought foolish, and stay the course as what I attempt to accomplish for my Master cannot be finished in my lifetime?  It's not a matter of "can I", that's a ridiculous question.  Of course I can, I just continue on when it all seems stupid.  The question is, "will I?"

In a sense I am in the midst of this now.  I live in a place with a depressed economy and a church that has a huge calling from God, and is struggling to come up with the resources.  It is on that transition from a "small church" to a "medium sized church" as "church growth" experts call it.  The reality is that this church, in a depressed community, is experiencing a crisis of faith.  The challenge to all involved is to remain faithful to the promises of God in the face of the insurmountable challenges to the call.  I am one of several on the leadership team.  So, for me, the challenge is direct to my faith, but it also calls into play a very important facet missed as I look at Abram's challenge.

Abram had so much it was difficult to sustain the household as a nomad.  Yet such was part of his calling.  His decisions affected everyone in his household, from his wife down to the water carriers.  The herdsmen couldn't have been pleased to watch their counter parts in Lot's group head down to greener pastures.  Yet Abram stays the course, in spite of what it might seem to cost his household, those closest and dearest to him.

As a leader, I have those around me who look to me for insight and guidance.  The decisions I make as a leader and the support I give to our pastor affects my family and others around me.  Yet God's call is clear even though the resources to accomplish it are not.  The people are being assembled by God in this depressed community, and we're not sure why.  But the "funds" necessary for such an endeavor haven't materialized yet.  How do we move forward without the necessary money?  And will doing so hurt those depending on us for guidance?  These are the ones who will be working in this ministry, who God has placed in this place in this time.  But for what? 

There is more that my Master is doing than just reaching one generation, no matter how lost, forgotten, or feared.  There are spiritual strongholds not even mentioned as targets, only in fear and as evidence of the enemy's strength here.  These are "gates of hell" which will not prevail against the gospel.  So, these too are "callings" and areas where my Master is at work.  The current struggle is just a glimpse of what is to come, the enemy territory we have established a beachhead within.  If I and we cannot come through this crisis of faith, we miss the blessing of God, and it will pass to others.

I can't miss this opportunity, even if my church does.  I'm not sure what that means, but I see it so clearly, the battle, the need for prayer, the need to assault the gates of hell in this community.  But I don't see the resources to do it.  Neither did Abram.  He believed anyway, and was patient in the face of insurmountable obstacles.  He relied on God and His timing (sort of anyway); and so must I.

What About the Village People?

Now Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents.  And the land could not sustain them while dwelling together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to remain together.  And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. Now the Canaanite and the Perizzite were dwelling then in the land.  So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers.  "Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left."  Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere -- this was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah -- like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar.  So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other.  Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom.  Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD.  The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever.  I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered.  Arise, walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it to you."  Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the oaks of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the LORD. (Genesis 13:5-18 NASB)

After returning from Egypt, the extensive amount of grazing required for both Abram and Lot was too much for the around them to support.  To solve the strife between the two sets of shepherds, Abram let Lot choose where he would go.  Looking about, Lot saw that the areas around the Jordan were more lush than the mountain and hills of Canaan.  He chose the Jordan region.

It says that Lot settled among the cities of the "valley", and specifically beside Sodom.  It also comments that even then, the men of Sodom were evil and tremendous failures to God.  As the chapters progress, it becomes clear that Lot's choice was a very bad one.

Another note is that the Canaanites and the "Perizzites", or villagers, were then in the land too.  So, this problem was affecting more than just the herdsmen, flocks, and herds of Abram and Lot.  The people who actually lived and worked the land were also affected, even if not involved in the dispute.  The villagers of Canaan watched as Lot took his things and headed for the Jordan Valley.  They witnessed what would probably not have been the solution reached by the "city-states" around them.

After Lot leaves, God speaks to Abram.  Standing on the hills around Beth-El and the "Ruins" God asks him to look around, north, south, east and west.  Not only will all this land be his but his offspring will be as numerous as the dust of the land.  This is the promise to a man with a barren wife.  God then tells him to walk around his future gift to his descendants.  He goes from Beth-El to Hebron; or from the middle of Canaan to a hill country mid way between Beth-El and the southern edge of Canaan.  There he parks himself in the trees of Mamre.  This, along with the Oak of Moreh, become favorite hang outs of Abram.  There he builds another altar to God.

Do I consider the people outside my "church" when dealing with things inside it?  What I mean by that is do I consider the "others", or just the person I'm dealing with, or just my point of view, or just what this means to my place of worship?  Even if I'm not being "selfish", am I being "kingdom minded"?  There are great promises of my Master, things He has in His mind to accomplish in my community.  He doesn't need me to do them, but if I want to be a part of what He does, I need to accept and submit to His perspective at the cost of my own.

What if I wind up with the lesser options?  What if I get less than everyone else?  What happens to my family?  What happens to my favorite songs, favorite "chair" in the worship center, and my position of respect?  What if I loose respect because I took the lower seat at the table, and was left there?  Well, as long as I don't loose my relationship with my Master.  I'm good with all the rest (or at least I should be).

Returning to the House of God

So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, he and his wife and all that belonged to him, and Lot with him.  Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver and in gold.  He went on his journeys from the Negev as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place of the altar which he had made there formerly; and there Abram called on the name of the LORD. (Genesis 13:1-4)

Abram has had a "close call" in Egypt where he seems to have nearly lost Sarai to the Pharaoh.  And now he returns to Bethel (actually Beth-El, meaning House of God), and sets up his tents where he built the altar before.  The text is very specific about him returning to the same place.  There he worships, where he worshiped before.  But this is not where the text says God appeared to him, that was in Shechem.  This is where he sought God.

I wondered if this was a place where he sought God for an experience like he had in Shechem, but was disappointed.  From this account, I would think he wasn't disappointed, but had a very meaningful experience with God, even if it wasn't what he was looking for. 

I have places like this, and in nearly every place I have lived, I have somewhere like this, where I sought God and had a meaningful experience of worship.  I have a lot fewer places where God sought me and initiated the worship, like Shechem.  Most of my places are more like Beth-El.  I haven't found one here though.  That needs to change.

For me, these places are outside, remote (or feel remote), and have a view.  In Idaho, this was easy.  In Texas, it was...not nearly as easy, at least not where we were.  In California I knew of all sorts of places near where I was raised.  But while they weren't hard to find, it was difficult to find "pure ones".  In some, I tainted them with something I had done wrong there as well.  So the number there is fewer than it should be. 

I think I need to find a place around here where I seek my Master in worship.  Not corporate worship, I already have a great place for that.  And not study because I have that as well.  My need is for prayer.  These times of prayer are what I need to loose the stuff and gain my Master; contemplative places.  I call on the name of my Master, and most times the experiences are just time without revelation. 

I think I know a place I can use, but it also seems used by others for other things.  Perhaps I can reclaim some land for my Master, call on His name, and empty myself for His filling.  Or maybe I'll just sit in His lap and be quiet.