A Little Alone Time, Without Lot

Now Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents.  And the land could not sustain them while dwelling together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to remain together.  And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. Now the Canaanite and the Perizzite were dwelling then in the land.  So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers.  Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left."  Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere -- this was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah -- like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar.  So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other.  Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom.  Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD.  The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever.  "I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered.  Arise, walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it to you."  Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the oaks of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the LORD. (Genesis 13:5-18 NASB)

I am on my own for a bit this week.  So, indulge me for a moment while I project my loneliness onto Abram in this passage.  When Lot left, was Abram lonely?  I suppose anywhere from a quarter, a third, or even perhaps half of what was about Abram just up and moved away.  Was he sad, and did he miss his nephew? In my imagination, he did; but mostly because I miss my wife today.


It would be ironic that after separating for strife that he would miss the "hubbub", but isn't that how it goes?  My wife is off because she's taking her mom on a trip, so there's no strife involved.  And I realize the reasons I miss her span from my love for her to selfish self pity (yeah, I have range...).  So, my situation isn't really like Abram's except in the hole the person leaves in my life.


But for me, my loneliness has a duration of two more days.  Abram didn't have that.  He knew his separation was indefinite.  Sure he might visit or perhaps Lot might visit, but they would never again be together like they were.  The hole left is much larger, and not due to the size of the group that left, but due to the relationship lost.


It is in the midst of these emotions, however strong or weak they were, when God shows up and speaks with Abram about his descendants.  Was it encouraging or sobering?  Did Abram find comfort in being told that one day his children would possess the land he viewed from the hills of Beth-El?  In response he goes to Hebron, builds another altar, and calls on the name of God.  So, I would guess he responds positively to what he's told.


In these times of being alone, I seek to hear from my Master.  Yet, my Master is Master even over communication.  He doesn't necessarily speak what I want, when I want, in ways I prefer.  Instead, He draws me in, not with words, but with the gnawing need in my soul for His presence.  He may speak to me, but what I need is to walk about before Him, be in His presence, and seek His face.  I need Him more than the blessings and more than a word from Him.


So, in the first light of this day, I enter the presence of my Master.  I confess my short falls, and embrace His purification.  And then I walk about in this day, but always in His presence.  I walk before Him and strive to be blameless; not the easy road.  I suppose I should start it with breakfast.  A bowl of cereal sounds good; and eggs, yeah, and "green smoothie!"  Hmm...