Secrets Versus News

Now when they came into the house, as he was lying on his bed in his bedroom, they struck him and killed him and beheaded him. And they took his head and traveled by way of the Arabah all night. (2 Samuel 4:7 NASB)

David answered Rechab and Baanah his brother, sons of Rimmon the Beerothite, and said to them, "As the Lord lives, who has redeemed my life from all distress, when one told me, saying, 'Behold, Saul is dead, ' and thought he was bringing good news, I seized him and killed him in Ziklag, which was the reward I gave him for his news.  How much more, when wicked men have killed a righteous man in his own house on his bed, shall I not now require his blood from your hand and destroy you from the earth?" (2 Samuel 4:9-11 NASB)

 In this modern information age, the age of instant news, satellites, cell phones, texting, email, the internet, and social media we think we're so smart.  We think we know everything, that there are no secrets, and that privacy is something to be guarded by firewalls, passwords, and  PIN's.  Why do we continue to forget that our Master (regardless of whether we acknowledge Him as such) knows everything?

So, 3,000 years before any of that stuff I mention in the first paragraph, these two soldiers get tired of following the "man of shame", Ish-Bosheth.  And in order to get things moving, murder him in his own bed, cut off his head, and bring it overnight (overnight shipping 3,000 years ago?) to David in his capital.  They travel over night by the fastest route to the guy they think would be most interested in knowing what they've done, and yet...he already knows.

They tried to impress the king with the head of his enemy, and instead only succeed in incriminating themselves in murder.  Yes, three millennia before the cell phone, the news of their crime was faster than the current method of communication.  Why now do we think it's any different?  Why do we think that now, of all times, we can outrun the news of our sin?

The Apostle John tells us that if we confess our sin, our Savior is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).  So, why do believers still think that we can fool the Master of all the universe?  Why would someone still think that knowing all things, this one thing He doesn't?

Actually, I don't think we do.  I think, or suspect, that we simply don't care that He knows.  I know with me, that more often than not, I sin knowing I'm sinning but simply choose to do so anyway.  I then don't confess it because I know He knows, and don't care; at least not at first.  The hold of my Master doesn't let me rest that way for long though.  He doesn't leave me alone, even in my sin.  So, when I sin, and I do daily, I bring my Master with me; not because He does my bidding, I'd rather He wasn't with me when I sin.  He chooses to go with me out of love and mercy, and I choose to go where I have no business going.

Lately it has been arrogance, apathy, resentment, and probably fear that have been my preferred places to go.  Arrogance denies the mastery of my Master.  Apathy denies the worth of my King.  Resentment denies the sovereignty of the Prince of Peace.  Fear is a direct challenge to the will and reality of the King of kings.  Faith is really the answer to all of these, and for some reason it's the first thing I jettison when I encounter stupid stuff, stupid people, and my own stupidity.

When, instead, I let my Master reign (as if I somehow prevent it) everything eventually starts to make some sense and I have peace.  Or, more often, nothing ever really makes sense, and the peace is there anyway.  Truly my Master reigns, but I pretend to rule my own life.  All I accomplish is an embarrassing futile rebellion against He who loves me without limits. 

Here's what's really happening:  Within the infinite space of this universe there is a spec in one corner comprised of several galaxies grouped together.  Within that group is one particular galaxy which has, toward one of the outer spiral arms, a loose cluster of stars.  One of those stars has a system of planets, one of which has enough solid material, spins slow enough, is close enough, and tilted just so as to support the fragile life forms crawling about on its surface.  In the scheme of the universe, their life-spans are ridiculously short.  Yet their attitude is so shockingly arrogant that they behave as if all the universe is really about them.  I am such a specimen.

While this entire construct we refer to as a 'universe' is probably no more than the decoration on the workbench of its Creator, many claim that it is the height of arrogance that He should want us to worship and praise Him.  It's ironic really.  We miss that it is the probably the height of mercy that He would choose to inhabit the praise of such people.  We seem to completely miss that worship merely helps us place ourselves within the real shape and scheme of this universe.  It gives us a clearer sense of scope and scale without the overwhelm of actually trying to fit the universe into our tiny pea brains.

So there's nothing to be gained by hiding my sin from my Master.  I see no value in pretending that I'm not arrogant, that He didn't see it, or that the Creator and One sustaining my life doesn't care. Since the Maker of the vastness of all time and space has it all under His control, and is aware of all of it, why then am I afraid of a future I can merely perceive as dim and insubstantial?  If He loves me, what do I have to fear of anything clear or dim?  Am I not some ridiculous pair of soldiers carrying a grisly secret sin already known to the very one I was trying to impress?  They were killed, how much more do I expect from my own failures to hit the mark of my Master?  Isn't it much more sensible to simply confess my sin and let Him forgive and cleanse me from all that mars our relationship?  Watch me now:  It will probably take me about 10 minutes to make the same mistakes all over again...

Church Response to Internal Sin

You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst. (1 Corinthians 5:2 NASB)

Chapter 5 of 1 Corinthians is about 'church discipline' in a way.  It is about the application of Jesus' principles in Matthew 18 in a specific situation.  It is probably good to note that Matthew wrote his Gospel after this letter had been written, but still the principle was within the church and its teaching in the oral accounts of the Twelve.  But truly, the idea/concept of this is actually derived from the Hebrew Scriptures.

What Paul pulls his application from is the various passages from the Hebrew Scriptures about removing the practice of sin from Israel.  There are plenty to choose from, but he seems drawn to the Law, specifically Deuteronomy.  In so doing, he raises an interesting question about the practice of church discipline.

In Matthew 18, the process Jesus describes is restorative trying to bring about confession and repentance.  Here it sounds more final, but that may be because Paul is correcting a dangerous perception and practice.  It seems that in the fledgling church in ancient Corinth that they were proud that they would tolerate such behavior.  For Paul this is unthinkable, for them it is something to boast about.

It may be that this letter, with all its biting sarcasm so far, is really leading up to this discussion.  Paul seemed worked up before, but he is truly hot here.  But what is his real point?  Why is he so worked up?

I believe the key to understanding Paul's attitude in this chapter stems from his statement in verse 2, 'you are arrogant and have not mourned instead.'  The response to sin in the church (and within ourselves as well) should be mourning.  This is the word Jesus used in the Beatitudes where He said 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted' (Matthew 5:4).  This should be the attitude toward sin.  And I believe this is the mark in a person repenting as well.

So my response to sin within me and that I see in our church should begin with mourning.  Then movement to change, but the change will stem from the right attitude.  I can't come with an attitude of superiority or pride or arrogance.  Even any anger I feel should come out of my grief over this sin.

When I 'wink' at my own practice of sin, then I am being so selfish that I refuse to see the effects it has on my relationship with my Master, my wife, my daughter, and my church.  I fail to accept that it robs me of courage to bring my faith to my neighbors.  I refuse to see that it has become a weapon of my enemy which I have forged, sharpened, and handed to him.

When I 'wink' at the practice of sin within my church, then I am refusing to protect the 'Bride of Christ'.  The practice of sin in the church incapacitates ministry.  Everything stops.  Some may mourn the loss of 'fire', others the 'way we used to be', some may be sad about how the Spirit doesn't seem to move any more.  That's a good place to start, but this sadness needs to become pervasive if change is to come about.

The practice of sin is difficult to keep secret.  Once known it must be dealt with.  The idea is to keep a single mistake from becoming a practice, both within ourselves and within our congregation.  The process described in Matthew 18:15-17 is really four-part:  1) go to the one and bring it up; failing repentance 2) bring another to verify the validity of repentance; if that fails to bring repentance 3) bring it before the church, and if that fails to bring repentance 4) 'let him be as a Gentile and a tax collector'.

Paul 'illuminates' what is meant by 'let him be as a Gentile and tax collector' when he calls on the church to 'remove the wicked man from among yourselves.'  Such a person is cut off from participation in the congregation, in much the same way that the Hebrews were to expel certain people from the Temple or Tabernacle; they were cut off from the 'assembly'.

Churches are hesitant to follow this practice.  Whatever reason they cite, the effects are the same.  It shouldn't be done, it can't be done and the church survive.  And neither can I accept such practices in myself.  I can't.  If I do, then I'm shot; my availability to my Master, my effectiveness in His Kingdom, and my role as knight and servant are nullified.  And I can be sure that He knows, there are no secrets with Him.

In order to keep even mistakes from becoming practices I must confess.  There's really no other way.  I have an accountability partner, and he and I work to keep each other 'current'.  Just as in the church we have to work together to keep the church sin-free, so I also need another to help keep me sin-free.  It's the way my Master designed it to work.  Confession is good for my soul; and healthy for my church.

What Sort of Music Do Evil Spirit's Hate?

Now the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD terrorized him. (1 Samuel 16:14 NASB)

So it came about whenever the evil spirit from God came to Saul, David would take the harp and play it with his hand; and Saul would be refreshed and be well, and the evil spirit would depart from him. (1 Samuel 16:23 NASB)

So, last Sunday I'm outside the sanctuary working on cleaning up the church coffee bar, and this teenage boy comes up and asks if I 'work there, at the church.' He wants to know if they're is a 'suggestion box' and I tell him to leave a note on the information center counter.  Then he tells me for free that the music in the sanctuary is too loud.  I had one of those moments where you think of a good comeback only after the time has past.  I should have told him we do that to drive off evil spirits since they don't like loud music either. 

Oh well, the time for such a comeback was past and it was never said, but it does bring up an interesting question.  What sort of music does drive off evil spirits?  It's not a silly question either.  Look at David's relationship with Saul.  David played his harp and the evil spirit left Saul.  It didn't always work, but it did until Saul became jealous of David.  Think about that.

So God sends an 'evil spirit' to torment Saul (it wasn't enough to reject him as king).  And when David plays the harp, the evil spirit departs.  If order is important here, then it goes like this:  David plays, Saul is 'refreshed', and the evil spirit departs.  What was it about music, specifically the music David played that caused a spirit sent by God to depart? 

I'm just guessing, but I would assume that 'evil spirits' prefer music like rap music about killing and sex, or heavy metal music about similar things, or crazy screaming singing with little beat or melody regardless of what it's about, or anything recommending suicide.  These, I would think, would be some favorites and classics for a basic evil spirit; on their iPod/phone/other mobile device.

So, what would be the opposite of such songs?  What sort would simply drive an evil spirit out of the house?  I'm not sure.  It's probably a matter of picking a Psalm of praise, and playing a tune for it on the harp.  Again, I'm guessing here.  But there may be more to this than simply the effect on the evil spirit.

If order is important in verse 23, then Saul is 'refreshed' and then the evil spirit departs...for a while.  The word translated as 'refreshed' is a word that means, 'to breathe easy, be wide or spacious, be relieved.' It is very closely related to the word for 'spirit' itself.  I think of it as the feeling marked by a deep sigh; usually followed by flopping on the couch.  Rushing around, stressed over what needs to be done, finish, all done, deep sigh, flop on the couch.  That feeling.

What if that feeling in Saul was why the evil spirit departed.  Maybe the music just brought Saul to that point, and then the evil spirit departed.  Here's why I bring this up.  I think the evil spirit was sent by my Master to drive Saul to his death in battle with the Philistines.  I don't know that, it's not like it's written in Scripture or anything.  I get it from looking at Saul's erratic behavior with David, and with the Philistines.

I suspect that the stress of the guerrilla warfare with the Philistines was wearing on Saul's sanity.  He worried about it, about failing, about what needed to be done next, would it work, how could he pull off the next ambush and so on.  He knew that since Samuel wouldn't help him any more that he was no longer in God's favor, so success was no longer assured.  It was on him, and he didn't have the mettle to sustain the stress.

I figure the evil spirit used Saul's condition to drive him where God would then destroy him.  So when he was 'refreshed' the condition was no longer there for the evil spirit to use.  It would just come back later when the condition returned.  That's my theory.  If that's the truth, then my lesson from this is to relent.

Relent?  Saul's situation was that he had been rejected by God as king.  But he continued to act as king.  It's one thing for him to confess that he had sinned, that was good.  But hanging in there as king when he already knew he had been rejected only made it more difficult on the people, and I think, on himself.  Had he relented, and abdicated the 'throne' (or pomegranate tree as it were), I think his stress level would have been much less, and there would have been no need for an evil spirit from God to torment into fatal error.  In any case I suspect Jonathan would have survived.  As it was, Saul would lose his three eldest sons along with himself.

For me, when the punishment from my Master comes, and I am to endure the loss of some position or responsibility, do I fight to keep it or relent, and give it up?  That's the point of application I see here for me.  I used to be a pastor.  That is a role and responsibility that has passed for me.  Now when I'm in a church I do not have the 'option' of looking longingly at that role, wishing it were mine.  That would be wrong, and to rebel against the decree of my Master. 

Eventually, I reached a point where I don't even want the role of pastor.  Now it's not a temptation, and I really enjoy the roles that I have now.  I see my role as support for the pastor, I get to teach without some of the down side effects of being the pastor.  I can more easily engage with people without the risk of vulnerability.  It's really a lot less stress.  Perhaps that's what Saul needed; to step down, relent and accept the discipline of God.  Jeremiah basically tells Judah to do that with the Babylonians; that's the core of his prophesy among them.  It's a good lesson.  It sure has helped me.

Confession Is Good For A Soul?

In Psalm 32, David rejoices over the forgiveness he received from God.  Part of that relief came right in the center of the Psalm, in verse 5 where he says he confessed his sin to God.  It is said that confession is good for the soul.  It is, but it can be hard on the one confessed to; that's just part of the consequences.

I bring this up because I confessed a sin to someone, and it hurt them deeply.  To be fair, they have not always responded this way, but things are hard for them right now, and their difficulty partly stems from me, even before the confession.

So, do I not confess because it hurts someone when I do?  That is a dangerous route for me.  My struggles thrive in secret, and even sometimes confession to another does not help bring them to light.  The pain caused when I confess is part of what I avoid through my compulsive behavior.  To not confess only strengthens the compulsion, even when I'm avoiding causing another pain. 

Another element here is that I must see the pain I cause others.  Without that, I can easily delude myself into believing I'm not hurting anyone but myself.  It's never been true.  I don't need to be compulsive to hurt someone, but I typically do when I am.  My compulsions are self-focused, self-delusional, and devoid of my Master.  They are dangerous for those reasons.  For those reasons I need to get out of my delusional selfishness and see these behaviors for what they really are, and what they really do.

I did, and it hurt me to hurt another.  It had to be done, to hurt them, in order to stop the hurting of them.  I can't allow the compulsion to thrive in secret expecting that they will not be hurt if I don't tell them.  There are many ways I have discovered that the pain I cause happens anyway.  I am not the same person when I am caught up in a compulsion (although I am finding that I can be a different person even without them). 

The basic truth here is that confession is good for both the soul confessing and the soul confessed to.  It may not feel good at first, but it helps stop the behavior that hurts, and what hurt was done can begin to heal.  It is scary, but it is necessary, and it is good for my soul.  Now I'm just waiting for the good feelings to catch up.

I Don't Get It...Or Do I?

Today, I am baffled by the devotion in My Utmost For His Highest.  What Chambers is talking about makes little sense to me.  I think I agree with a spot somewhere below the middle, but then I get lost again.  The point he is making is about carnality in my life.  But he states that no "natural man knows about it" and then that it comes from the conflict between the flesh and the Spirit where one "lusts" after the other.  It is at that point my eyebrows furrow and my eyes narrow, and my mind goes, "huh?"  He uses a capital S Spirit, so is referring to the Spirit of my Master who took up residence in me when I confessed Jesus as Lord and believed in Him as raised from the dead.  It is difficult to wrap my mind around the Spirit of my Master "lusting after" my flesh.  Seriously? Lusting? And after my flesh?

He continues into a monologue about setting the mind on the Spirit and not carrying out the deeds of the flesh, and I am no longer in 1 Corinthians 3:3 where he first references, and am now squarely in Romans 7 and 8.  In those chapters most translators do not necessarily agree whether the references to spirit are references to the Spirit of God which desires total influence over the person, or the spirit of the person which would the part of a person desiring to please the Master.  So, the confusion is not just here, but remains and is fairly common.  Chambers clearly falls on the side of the reference to the Spirit of God. 

So, the monologue continues into confession being a mark of the non-carnal believer.  What is going on here is that Chambers is referring to the response to conviction by the Spirit of God, the internal response.  In pyschological terms, it would be the question of responding versus reacting.  So, if I react to conviction from something I read in Scripture then I am being carnal.  If I respond in confession, then I am being spiritual.  After the confession it is my Master who makes the necessary change in me.  So this part I get, the first, not so much, and he looses me again at the end.

In the last paragraph he says that the proof that the "carnality" is gone is the surprise at my change in behavior or attitude.  Saying, "I would have been resentful over this in the past" or something like that is the indicator that carnality is leaving the body.  But isn't that a progressive experience rather than the mark of an event?  Or is it that carnality comes and goes?  If it does that, then does it ever truly leave or does it just go dormant?  Or is that a semantic question of little value? 

Either way, I agree with the reacting versus responding position as an indicator of whether I am being ruled more by the Spirit of my Master or my own silly passions.  And I suppose that being surprised by the changes that my Master is making in me would be evidence that, at least, my silly passions have less sway than they used to.  And I believe that I am experiencing that more lately than I have in a long time.  I have experienced more spiritual victory recently than I have at any other time in my past.  I think that is because I have a long way to go out of the spiritual hole I have dug over the last 20 years, but it's still progress up.  And progress up is good.  The credit goes to the Spirit of my Master, because my only part in this has been to make myself more available to Him.  The positive changes are His, and I have been recently surprised by them.

Part of what I have taken on as a responsibility on my part is the ritual actions of holiness (in a modern setting, rather than the ancient Temple setting).  These don't actually make me more fit for my Master, just make me more available to Him.  They don't make me qualitatively better than anyone else, just different.  They include the daily discipline of writing these blog entries, praying using the phrases, "You love me, You have my back, and I am at Your service."  The initials below my signature are part of it. These are just a few obvious ones, and as I said, they don't change me qualitatively, just make me more aware of my status before my Master on a more consistent basis.  In the blog I have confessed when my Master brings out deficiencies in my character and done so publically.  That helps me remain accountable to being submissive to Him in these areas.  I believe that actions of "ritual holiness" done right will look very different for different believers, so I don't recommend these particular ones for anyone else.  I found them when I sought the areas that my Master wants to grow me, and in response to those areas of growth, came up with actions I could take to increase my availability to my Master to bring about that growth.  If I were to make a recommendation (and I don't), that would be it.  My only recommendation is to love the Master.  The rest sort of falls out of that, whatever "the rest" might be.