Asking my Master for…

I’m not so sure that my abject poverty before my Master exhibits itself in asking for things.  In a sense it does, but I need careful thought to see when that is true.  For instance, when the details of moving were up in the air, but the move itself was not, I didn’t pray that my Master would make the details clear.  Instead I prayed for patience and peace while I waited.  The point of my spiritual poverty was at the lack of peace and patience.  I was called to wait, worship, and walk before my Master.  To accomplish that I needed those two qualities.  I didn’t have them, so I asked my Master.  The other stuff like details I didn’t ask for.  I figured to do so was to miss the point of having faith and walking without sight.

Perhaps I’m wrong, but my spiritual poverty has more to do with the “Fruit of the Spirit” than something physical or circumstantial I wish I had.  That may be what Chambers is getting at when he says, “The next best thing to do if you are not spiritually real is to ask God for the Holy Spirit on the word of Jesus Christ.”  Since the fruit of the Spirit are not fruit of my spirit, but the Spirit of my Master, asking for that fruit would be asking for more “spiritual reality”.  Although, I confess that I’m not entirely sure I understand Chambers at this point.

A lot of things in my present circumstance that I see now, I never thought to ask for.  It didn’t occur to me to ask my Master for house to move into when we arrived there.  It didn’t occur to me to ask that my wife and I would be able to move with our current jobs, keeping benefits and so on.  It did occur to us that one town might offer better home prices than another, but we still assumed proximity to the in-laws was better, and I guess we were wrong.  We’re just over 20 miles away, but on the way that way.

Is it a problem that these things we see now are things we did not ask for?  I don’t think so.  But I see points of my spiritual poverty and complete dependence on my Master within me.  I am weak when it comes to my particular brand of obsession, and even with some small distance from it, weakness abounds.  I still have fears and worries.  I take them captive to my Master, but then, later, I let them loose to run around my emotions.  I still have difficulty responding appropriately to my daughter.  She defaults to smart-aleck and I go off instead of breaking the conversation off.  She’s a pre-teen mess and I’m surprised and shocked.  Clearly I have a lot of growth ahead.

Chambers keeps referring back to passages in James where I am told to ask my Master for wisdom, but to ask with right motives.  I think that I do lack wisdom in a lot of areas, spiritually and circumstantially.  So, I have a lot of growing that will require a lot of asking of my Master.  My motives in those requests should be to grow closer to my Master, not to appear more spiritual to others or gain their approval.  Going into a new place with a new church, that is a real issue to watch.  The temptation will be there, but will I be conscious enough of myself to spot it and repent immediately?

My real need at this moment has to do with how I respond to my daughter.  The other details out of my control are my Master’s problem.  But my responses to my Daughter are weakness for me which will affect her and her walk with my Master.  She needs a loving coach, mentor, and leader.  She doesn’t need a bully, but does need firm boundaries.  She doesn’t need another buddy, but she does need a responsible emotionally mature parent.  I have some growing, humbling, and  relaxing to do.  I think my Master wants to work in her life, but I have probably been a hindrance.

I suppose that is enough to work on for one lifetime…I mean day.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 9th.

How I Came To The Conclusion my Master Is Leading my Family to Move

For over a year, my wife and I have been exploring the possibility of moving to care for her parents.  To the end we decided to put out some tests to see if my Master was truly moving in that direction or not.  The approach I decided on was to only go and commit to what my Master revealed, and go no further, emotionally or physically.  At the beginning, before we setup the first test, I was coming out of a life-time addictive cycle of evil behavior and depression.  As my sobriety progressed, so did our plans for the first test.  We put our house on the market.

In a sluggish market, we started escrow within 3 weeks, to the second person to view it.  So, my Master was leading us out of this home.  We sold it at a loss, but with the extensive equity we had in the home, we still had a solid amount to use toward something else.  In fact the loss enabled us to also be able to use it as savings since there would be no capital gains on a loss (it’s a capital loss and actually saves us on taxes, possibly beyond one year).  This freed us up financially, and we put our things in storage, and moved into an apartment.  We were now ready for the next step, do we stay or go?

In seeking my Master in the next step, I continued my approach to not go beyond my Master’s revelation to us.  His revealed will marked the boundary of my commitment.  As I progressed in my sobriety, I also deepened my walk with Him, and was doing well against depression.  The down-season for me at work had come on already, and I usually cratered emotionally and outwardly during this time.  I didn’t.  That was also a sign of my Master’s continued work in my life.

I still felt peace even though I had not been given any clear direction other than to leave our house.  But I sought direction.  Even before leaving the house, as it was in escrow and we knew we were leaving it, we sought direction on what do once it closed.  All my Master would reveal to me was to wait, worship, and walk before Him.  Again, I remained firm to my commitment to go no further than my Master’s revealed will. 

Since we saw no clear indication where we were to go, we decided to remain in the area.  We found an apartment with short-term lease because we knew that, whether we stayed or left, we would be moving to another house by the end of summer.  The apartment was larger, and cheaper than we thought.  The cost of it and our storage was very close to our budget and we again saw the provision and confirmation of my Master to this interim period.  But neither my wife nor I felt compelled to seek a house locally.

Since I had not received a firm indication from my Master to do anything beyond waiting, worshiping, and walking before Him, I asked my wife to plan as if we were staying; nothing else had been revealed so far and plans needed to made.  She accepted a promotion at work, we signed up our daughter for two summer camps, and I stopped complaining about my job at work (ok, I needed to do that in any case, but I didn’t say I was perfect through all this). 

Between a month and two, before the house sale was final, my wife’s parents asked for help maintaining their property.  It was getting to be too much, and they were in danger of being hurt seriously trying to maintain it.  That was enough for me.  Scripture was clear to me that my Master desired His people to care for their own families.  We were going.  I couldn’t refuse such a request from our family.

Since part of the plans made as if we were staying included a camp for my daughter, we set a date just beyond that.  I began to let people know, my wife had a hard time telling her boss that she was going in spite of the promotion, and the wheels were set in motion.  Through this point, without seeing it, I had peace about the provision of my Master.  We had decided to go without jobs, without a house, without any idea what we would be doing once we got there.  Yet I had peace.

First, my wife’s job offered her the opportunity to do parts of it after the move remotely (she does a lot of what she does that way any way).  That offered a small amount of income.  Then, without prompting from us or the management, that opportunity expanded territory.  Then that opportunity expanded again with both territory and responsibility into a full-on 20-hour work week.  Now that was income.  We saw part of the provision we needed for our transition.

I started seeking a position at work that I had not seen posted.  The position would enable me to work remotely for the same company and do something I passionately believed in.  I waited as long as I could stand then sent a letter through my chain of command justifying this position.  They decided not to go forward with it this year.  I accepted that, and resigned my self to leaving the company when we moved.  I let my manager know what was going on, and the date we had set.  It was a bittersweet announcement, but I felt some excitement at what my Master would do to provide.

Before going on a business trip, my manager’s boss, our senior director, called me into her office and asked again about the date we were leaving.  Then she asked if I would be open to that not being my last day.  Not really understanding, I said I would.  She then explained to me that she had sought and received permission, blessing from our senior vice president, and now wanted mine for me to do what I do here but remotely from our new location.  It wasn’t finalized, needed to go through HR and IT for details, but would I do it if we could do it?  I accepted readily and with excitement.  I began to see the rest of my Master’s provision.

Well, HR got busy and this was put on hold.  My in-laws began looking for a house since it looked like we may move with jobs (at least my wife would).  Several managers at work were let go (which was why HR was so busy), and I began to wonder.  But I felt confident that, even if it didn’t work out, just the offer showed my Master’s provision was certain, even if it wasn’t this way.  I felt confidence in that and peace. 

My in-laws found a house for us.  On the day I prayed that my Master would relieve them of the stress they were feeling trying to find us a home, they announced that they had entered escrow on a house in a small town just outside their own small town.  This town had better cell service (a problem I foresaw, but figured my Master had taken care of).  The town had high-speed internet from either DSL or Cable.  The town was equally distant from both a large metro area with amenities, and my in-laws.  And the house is small, but larger than this apartment.  Again, I see the provision of my Master.  We would be moving straight into a house.

Before I received details, my senior director began talking to me about this as if it were a done-deal, and I became stressed. I didn’t know the details, but it was going to happen. Instead of feeling a sense of peace, I felt stressed, not because I didn’t want the position or felt it was wrong, but because I couldn’t see the details. After all this time I was distracted by mere details! My faith falters at the point of confirmation of my Master’s provision?

Then my in-laws told us that it takes about 2 weeks to have internet installed and since this is an integral piece of what my wife and I needed to work remote, I asked for some details at work so I could choose the right sort.  I have enough now to go ahead and arrange.  I need to review them and setup the setup of our internet.  Once again my Master provides.

What this has to do with MUFHH for today is that this is an illustration of what Chamber’s said was the way I am to live with my Master.  And yet, I wanted to be honest about my struggle in the midst even with all the provision I witnessed.  So, now I continue on this great adventure.  I will complete the story, re-write it, and present it after we’re finally moved.  I suspect that my Master is not yet done with His amazing work in this.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 8th.

Abiding In My Master’s Name

When, just six or seven months ago, I was still ruled by these raging passions, depression, sinful self-centered sinful patterns.  I am not far enough away from those that they do not still exert influence, and I still must be very vigilant.  But just in this short time I have noticed a difference in how my Master has been working in me.  This experience of transitioning to another state has been incredibly different than any other of our 5 moves.

I believe the others were still led by my Master, but the peace was not there to this degree, the provision was not as obvious, His finger prints were not as clear as they are now.  I assume that part of that difference is that I am in a better place to see all those things.  But part of it is that He is doing something differently this time.  And while I believe I am in a better position and more available to Him, I am not under the impression that this state has somehow earned this clearer manner.  That would be absurd.

In the passage Chambers uses from John 14, Jesus again asserts that anything requested in His name is a done deal.  Here, though, is a new twist.  I didn’t even know to ask for some of the provision He has provided.  Actually the major parts of the provision were total surprises to both my wife and me.  So that is not to what this passage is referring.  Instead, I believe it may be pointing me to another part of my responsibility with my Master.  Chambers says it has to do with intercessory prayer.

There are no shortage of people who I know need my Master’s help.  I have a sister and brother-in-law who have reached a point where my Master must lead somewhere, even if it is to remain.  They have reached a point which requires a decision, and options are running thin.  How about them?  They could certainly use some prayer on their behalf.  And there are others, at work, at church, in my apartment complex, even people I pass while driving or walking about this city.  There is no shortage.

So, that is one need, and one application of this promise to have what I ask in the name of my Master.  Are there others?  Yes, I believe there are.  But all of the other applications are tied to a center which Chambers clearly points out.  He calls it the “Atonement of the Lord”, and I believe he is referring to the work of Jesus to enable me to relate to Him; all of that work, past (the cross and resurrection), present (His Holy Spirit), and future (presence with Him in His glory).  If this work of my Master forms the center of my personality, then I will be able to work and act as if Jesus were the One working and acting.

Richard Foster referred to praying with this sort of relationship, and he called it “praying the words of God after Him.”  In other words, the words used in my prayers would be the words of my Master in my mouth.  Therefore they would naturally be “in His name” since they originated with Him in the first place.  I wouldn’t have to wonder if He would say yes, I could ask with the confidence that a child has asking her parent for a sandwich for lunch.

But I could also decide on a course of action with the confidence that this course is in agreement with my Master.  I could speak to someone with the confidence that what I said were the words of my Master.  These things would also be marked with an open humility that I have little to do with them or their outcome.  It wouldn’t occur to me that I did or said any of it.  My surprise would be that they came through me at all.

So the “abiding” from John 15 which follows this discourse, dovetails with it nicely.  It is not just prayer, but life.  Or perhaps daily life is prayer.  I am not there yet, that would be really cool.  In either case, I can say that, at this point, in the way my Master is working out this move, I am a spectator rather than a participant.  This is not one of those “abiding” in my Master things, nor is it that we asked in my Master’s name, so we have it.  What we asked for is clarity, but I already know my Master is not always interested in clarity, so that was what we wanted.

I may be in a position where I am more attuned to my Masters’ voice, but I must admit that the provision we are experiencing is not the result of that.  I believe that the result of that sensitivity is the peace I am enjoying in the midst of the loose details.  And I believe that the peace is fragile; dependent upon how attuned I am to my Master.  My serenity is a borrowed thing that belongs to my Master which He lends to me while in His presence.  I enjoy it as I walk before Him.  The provision is His deal, and while I am humbled and grateful, I do not suffer under the illusion I had anything to do with it. 

In fact I suspect that the clarity of my Master may be an indicator that a spiritual storm is brewing in our destination.  It could be that this clarity will be a necessary anchor for me when things go off track, the wheels come off my cart of desires, and I am temped to believe we did the wrong thing.  Well, be that as it may, this is the road that my Master has clearly laid before me and my family.  So, here we go, U-Haul and all.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 7th.

Working Hard Save Myself As My Master Works Within Me? Can I Do That?

One of the oddest statements Paul makes, as far as I see, is the command to “thoroughly work your own salvation.”  The next part eases my confusion somewhat, “for God is the One working in you…” so that the responsibility to be saved is not entirely on me.  I see myself as powerless to do anything but submit, and I’m not very good at that. 

In Philippians 2:12-13, both phrases are found.  Chambers works off of the translation difference of “work out” (as in “work out your own salvation…”) and “works in” (as in “it is God who worketh in you…”).  But the words do not really support his point.  The translation of “work out” is just one way to translate a word meaning “work thoroughly through and through with diligence and effort”.  The other word is the generic word for “work”, and appears in a phrase with the preposition, “in”.

My point is that the first word does not require outer working, while the other inner.  The preposition does indicate that the work of God happens within, but there is no such direction in the first.  It could happen both inwardly and outwardly.  Chambers’ point is that I am to push to the surface what God has accomplished inside.  But both are happening at the same time.  So, in a sense, we, my Master and I, are working together.

Any way I look at this, I cannot escape my responsibility for working thoroughly at my salvation.  Paul says I am to do it with fear and trembling, which should not be a problem since I am overwhelmed by such a command.  But it is the next phrase that comforts me.  The verb is a present active participle of the word “work” which means that my Master’s effort is ongoing.  He is the One working in me, specifically over the “will” and “work” parts of the “good pleasure”.  I take that to mean that the work I do is actually a product of His work, and at the point of my will matching His, He takes care of that too.  With that sort of help within, how hard can it be to work thoroughly at my salvation?

One interesting thing, which may derive more meaning from the context of Philippians 2, is the intentional use of the reflexive pronoun.  I am to “work out my own salvation…” as if opposed to someone else’s salvation.  There was a disagreement in the Philippian church and Paul was trying to convince the two sides to reconcile.  Perhaps this is part of that effort.  That is certainly a good piece of advice.

There is a woman I work with who has an ichthus (Greek for fish) tattooed on her ankle.  She does not profess to be a believer, at least not an active one.  So, what was going on when she got the tattoo?  The temptation is to work out her salvation for her, or try to be the one working in her, or whatever.  Any way I look at it, I meddle.  But I am curious.  There is no harm in asking, but beyond that I am in dangerous waters.  I do not want to interfere with work my Master is doing in another.  On the other hand I do not want to restrict myself from work He is leading me to do.  I will ask, and I will not seek to work out the salvation of another, but my own.  I will seek to be obediently available to my Master.

This is one example, but there are others.  I am in the “Bible Belt” and run into people all the time who claim the name of my Master, but do not live a life that demonstrates that name.  I work with another lady who seems to really struggle with the cross purposes of the world she lives in (friends) and the Master she claims.  There is the guy next to me at work who really seems to be much wiser in following my Master than I am, but who, like me, struggles with stuff at various times.  Does anyone really work at their own salvation perfectly or completely?  I think that, in my case, I will be thoroughly working my own salvation for the rest of my life.  And I don’t foresee a time when fear and trembling will not be a part of it.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 6th.

More To Loose That I Thought Was Already Gone

I really need Chambers’ entry for today.  He extends the passage he uses from Hebrews 13 into verse 6 (so Hebrews 13:5-6).  The point he makes is that once my Master says so, I should then say so.  Here’s how it applies to me.  Since my Master has said, “I love you, I have have your back, I want you to wait, worship, and walk before Me,” I should say after Him, “You love me, You have my back, I am at Your service, and I will wait patiently for Your provision, worship You as my Master, and walk before you daily.”

Sounds easy, and it probably is easy.  As moving day approaches, I am more fearful.  Why?  Seriously, the provision for which I am supposed to be trusting my Master is almost entirely in place.  What is my problem?  I think my problem rests in not being able to control so many of the details.  They truly are out of my hands.  But there is the thought of adding more stuff.  We are getting rid of a lot (yay!), but now we may be taking a big bed we had not counted on, a fridge, washer, dryer, and possibly a freezer.  Seriously?  I don’t want to.  The bed, I think we can handle, because I disassemble fairly well.  The other stuff we don’t pick up until we arrive, but we are supposed to do so before we see the house and unload our stuff. 

These are not big problems.  But they still bother me.  Why?  Mainly because I let them.  I need to find out about internet since utilities take about two weeks to setup (seriously?!), and if I want to be able to remote in to do my job that needs to be ordered two-weeks before I need it.  Since I don’t know what I need to remote in, I don’t know which type (cable or DSL) to get.  Thorny problem?  Not for my Master.  It didn’t catch Him by surprise, and He has been aware of the timing all along.  So…what am I worried about again?

I guess this is one of those opportunities I need to take to be careful about maintaining my emotional well-being.  It takes a level of honesty on my part that I am not used to demonstrating.  Instead of letting people really know what is going on inside, I try to present a façade of doing better than I am.  I try to be strong for my family.  All I achieve is a confusing emotional distance that they distrust and annoys them.  When I was asked about the appliances, I should have said, “no, not until we get there and see what’s what.”  The bed  issue I should have arranged at that point, to disassemble it early, and get it hauled over the storage unit for loading.  These are not hard things.  But included in those responses should have been an honest assessment of my feelings that goes along with those wants/desires/preferences. 

And honest assessment includes the part that says, “yes, the emotions show immaturity and selfishness, I see that, and I will work on it.”  Because sometimes the reason I don’t express how I feel is because I know it doesn’t come from the “good” parts of me.  I want to present a good façade, not a true expression of my baser qualities.  But if I don’t bring those out, inventory them, and and own them for what they are, I can’t then be rid of them.  In 12-step programs, this process is part of the “maintenance step,” 10 which says, “Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”  I can’t survive spiritually and emotionally intact if I only inventory the stuff I like.   Steps 6 and 7 are steps which are probably the least understood, and the ones which are most dependent upon my Master. 

Step 6 says, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”  Step 7 says, “Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.”  This is the response to an inventory showing things that are wrong.  I become ready, and then I humbly ask.  I don’t remove them, I release them; I lay down on the table and let my Master Surgeon do His thing.  I obey, I submit, I give up portions of my personality I have protected for most of my life.  They are the parts I put in place to cope with problems and issues instead of turning to my Master for that coping strength.  They are rickety props that are more dangerous than helpful, they are part of who I am, and they need to go.

I want the truck packing to be easy, so I want as little as possible to go on it.  I am intimidated to drive such a large truck so I want to do as little backing and turning as possible.  There is a part of me that would just as soon set a match to my possessions and start over in a new location, as pack them and unpack them in a new, unfamiliar house. 

Now for the reality.  These possessions are not mine to just get rid of.  We will have immediate needs once we arrive which these possessions will be needed to fulfill.  The desire to make the packing easy may be understandable, but is not practical nor is it considerate of others.  My fear of driving such a large truck is understandable, but is the responsibility I took when we decided on the larger truck.  I may not want to back it down a narrow dirt driveway and through a narrow angled gate, but I have to accept that I may need to, and do my best.  I suspect that if I ask to disassemble the bed before we pack and get it over to the unit, I will be granted that request.  But I have to make the request before it can be granted.

Master, there are several “defects of character” evident here in these desires, selfishness, fear, resentments on top of those, and layer of shame which is why I hid them.  Please reveal to me the other shortcomings I am missing.  These that I see, I need strength and courage to become ready to have you remove.  I want you to remove them, but I have two things to accomplish first.  I need the courage to be ready, and I need to humbly ask You to remove them.

And I thought I would have little to do while waiting for moving day.  What was I thinking?  Well, excuse me while I don my paper gown, and get up on the operating table.  I believe my Master has His scalpel in hand and is waiting for me.  See you on the other side.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 5th.

The Daily Grinding of My Faith

In some ways I am an “adrenaline junky”, and probably most males fit this moniker to some degree.  I am careful in most things, so it is in my alter ego, or fantasy life that I live this trait.  Sometimes on my way to work, I’m living out a chase scene in heavy traffic (no I don’t, but I think about it).  So, I do like it when my Master calls me to the great and wonderfully obviously difficult things.  I like a challenge.

But as Chambers asks today, am I still listening to the truths my Master says about His love for me when the excitement has faded to a daily routine?  He uses the promise from my Master in Hebrews 13:5, where the writer is wrapping up the letter by urging the believers to be of good character.  He supports the call to generosity and contentment with possessions with the quote, “For I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

What I derive from this passage and from Chambers’ development of it is that I am to be content rather than grasping.  To be grasping is to take control of the provision for my family and myself, and become my own power-hungry god.  What starts as a good desire to provide for my family takes over my ambition fueled by my selfishness and self-centeredness. 

When my senior supervisor spoke of my working remotely as if it were a sure thing, instead of relaxing in the provision my Master was clearly making, I worried about the details.  What a stupid thing to do.  What can I do to affect any change or detail?  If the people involved can’t come to a consensus within one conversation before I leave, is that really my problem?  What will I have lost that I already have?  I have already renounced my job, and have been ready to move without it.  Clearly if my Master can demonstrate that my superiors want me to continue, He can also provide another set of superiors in my new home.  In fact, their desire to continue to use me means shows me that He is truly interested in this area of my life.

I still wonder at the details; mostly because I don’t know how the technical stuff I use every day really works.  But there is also the fear of “what if they don’t get this ironed out before I leave?”  Well, what if they don’t?  Do I think that, after providing so far, initiating this process, my Master has lost control of the situation?  Really?  Of course, when posed that way, I don’t believe that.  Yet, when my pulse quickens, and my brows furrow just thinking about what will happen between now and June 24, faith is not what’s coursing through my soul.  And therefore, neither is peace.

But I know the peace I want.  I have felt the serenity of trust in my Master, even having decided to go without a job.  So I know what I should be feeling.  And I miss that feeling.  What is true, from here until I die, is that my Master loves me, He has my back, and I am at His service.  The first two truths enable my availability for the third.  I am not at His service if I’m distracted by what I cannot control or know.  I hate not knowing.  But I don’t know, and I really have no way to find out what I need to know.

So, even with the clear provision developing, I must still wait, worship, and walk before my Master.  Sure I can see the end of this phase of my life ending, and the beginning of another is immanent.  Yet, I am not quite finished here, and my Master calls me to finish well.  I have a job to do, customers to service, and a team to support.  He has my back, now it’s time to roll up my sleeves and get busy.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 4th.

The Intimate Secrets of my Master

Do I know or am I privy to “the secret joys” of my Master?  Chambers, using Psalm 25:14, says that when I am really intimate with my Master (today, kids would say, “tight”, which is a really good word for this), then He will share His secret joys.  Unfortunately, examples are not included in the entry.  The closest thing to an example is the term “tiny things”, but there again, no examples of that either.

The rest of his reference to being so familiar with the will of my Master that I don’t have to ask I understand.  But now I suspect there may be this secret I don’t know, others do, and I’m left out.  How annoying!  But I suspect that seeing the gifts and blessings of my Master in things like parking places, timely or believing customers, and the wind in trees is close to what Chambers is referring.  I suspect, but I do not really know.

I do know that my Master provides assurance when He knows I need it.  Yesterday, He provided it from my senior supervisor who referred to how odd it would be when I wasn’t there yet still did work, like some ghost.  So, I guess I will be working remotely, I just don’t know how or in what way.  That means I move with a job, I just don’t know the details yet.  Ironically, I think I am more fearful or troubled about the job now than I was.

The secret joys of my Master come to me through the assurance that I’m cared for.  He has my back.  I don’t always see how, even now.  I know that there are those I work for who are working diligently to secure my position with this company even as I move.  That is a huge assurance.  I know that they see it as a foregone conclusion, and that is meaningful.  But I do not see what is a foregone conclusion, the details of this position I would carry with me, nor do I see what is necessary on my part.  Since I don’t know that, there are details I cannot arrange ahead of time at the house we are moving into.

But how can those unknowns compare with the continuing assurance of my Master?  If He is so clear that He is providing this position, how can I then worry about details I can’t even know?  He must know those as well, so why worry?  It is a truth I can rest in securely that my Master loves me, He has my back, and I am free to be at His service.  I need to take a deep breath, accept that I do not know everything, derive peace that what I do know comes from my Master, and continue to wait, worship, and walk before Him.  Sounds easy.  And I believe it is easier than tearing myself up inside worrying about silly details He has already arranged.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 3rd.