How to Face a Tough Quest

Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, "Please place your hand under my thigh, and I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live,
 but you will go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac." (Genesis 24:2-4 NASB)

The servant is never named, but according to an earlier chapter, Abraham has one in his household who will inherit his possessions if Abraham never had children.  This could be the same guy.  If so, the servant is from Damascus, and not from the region to which he is being sent.  Abraham came from a place called Haran, but when the servant gets there, the name has changed to Nahor, another brother of Abraham.

So the information that Abraham is able to provide to his servant is dated, and much will have changed (not just the name).  The hope here is that just as news of his family reached him in Hebron, he will have some idea of what his servant is to expect here.  Even so, this is going to be a difficult task.  The only way to be free from the oath is if he finds someone and she will not return with him.  He still needs to find someone.

Where do you start something like this?  Besides just traveling to the region, some sort of approach needs to be decided on to achieve success.  The impression from the servants chosen approach is that he had no idea of names.  That would seem strange since at least Bethuel was mentioned to Abraham in Hebron.  But without knowing the status of families, who's still alive, who's well regarded or not regarded at all, it may not be safe to just go around asking after a family.  Besides, this servant may not know the customs and practices of this region.  Who knows?

But, it could be that, among all the other pragmatic approaches open to the servant, he still decides to throw the whole thing into the lap of the God of his master.  If that were the case, once again, the faith of Abraham has touched another life, and influenced one of his household.  Of course, Abraham did say that his God would send a messenger ahead to prepare the wife for his son, still it took faith to rely on that this way.

Even the quality of the test was fascinating.  Only someone who was selfless or hospitable enough to water his camels as well as him would pass the test.  There is a quality of character required.  It's not just that he tests, but the qualifications he's looking for as well which make this an act of faith.  Abraham stipulated only that this person come from his family.  The servant goes further and seeks someone with character qualities as well.  So, he demonstrates not just faith, but devotion to his master.

The question I ask myself is, "Do I demonstrate this faith and devotion to my Master?"  Do I have the faith to approach my insurmountable tasks with a faith that relies on my Master rather than my own wisdom?  Do I have the devotion to my Master to seek the quality that will glorify Him the most, or do I simply do the minimum to achieve the plain statement of the task?  I am reminded of the parables of the talents.  What do I do, double or triple what is entrusted to me?  Or do I bury it and give it back as is?

Right now, I am being kept from doing what I want to do to work in a crisis situation at my church.  What I have tried has not worked, people have not responded, and what I had hoped to accomplish isn't going to happen.  I've been here before. 

When I was considering coming out here, I had no job prospects, but I did know that my company employs remote sales people all over.  So I tried to find something like that.  I couldn't.  Ones I had seen less than a month before had evaporated.  Every option I tried, including trying to get a position created I knew we needed failed.  This is not new ground for me.  It looks rather familiar.  In that prior experience, I had to resign myself to the work of my Master, and move on what I did know.  He had revealed that I was to go, and when.  I would just do that and leave the rest to Him.  He came through even before we left.

As it turned out, my Master provided me an opportunity I wouldn't have even considered.  In fact, had it been offered to me initially, before all my own efforts, I may not have taken it.  But by the time that I had exhausted all my options, I was ready for whatever He provided.  So, what was needed was provided only after I had exhausted my efforts.  The solution could not be claimed by me, but was clearly the solution of my Master.  Here and now I have another opportunity to experience the same problem-solving work of my Master.  I am still adjusting to letting go of my own solutions, but still.  I know where the solution will come from.  That is enough.  I think.

The Timely Arrival of Isaac

Then the LORD took note of Sarah as He had said, and the LORD did for Sarah as He had promised.  So Sarah conceived and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the appointed time of which God had spoken to him.  Abraham called the name of his son who was born to him, whom Sarah bore to him, Isaac.  Then Abraham circumcised his son Isaac when he was eight days old, as God had commanded him.  Now Abraham was one hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. (Genesis 21:1-5 NASB)

In the land of Gerar, on the edge of the Negev wilderness, "at the appointed time of which God had spoken..." Isaac was born to Abraham and Sarah in their old age.  God honored his promise to Abraham to give him a son through Sarah.  The time was right, and it seems the time was important.

Abraham is 100, so Sarah is about 91.  They have just come through a confrontation with the king of the region where they live, and Abraham didn't come out looking very "righteous" or "faithful".  Sarah almost could be said to be with child by Abimelech rather than Abraham, but God stepped in and made that impossible, and obviously so.

Essentially, in Chapters 19 and 20, the timing God gave to Abraham included this particular regional problem.  God knew that Abraham would need to head south and embarrass himself just prior to Isaac being born.  It's all in the timing.  Had Isaac been born earlier, there would have been no need for the deception of Chapter 20.  Obviously a woman with child is more than a "sister".

I wonder about my Master's timing in my life.  He hasn't promised me innumerable seed, but He has led me to the town I live in, He did so one year ago today, and He has blessed me in this place.  It was a process to understand that this was the place and when exactly was the time.  The "process" I used was to simply not do anything until God said to.  It was somewhat awkward at times, but it was also clear.

I learned a lot about my walk with my Master.  I learned that my ways were inadequate and pointless.  I learned that details I worried about were really His problems, not mine.  I learned to trust and that peace is found in trust.  It was truly strange, wonderfully exciting, yet blessedly peaceful.  I learned that even 4,000 years later, my Master still does His work in His "appointed time."

The Daily Grinding of My Faith

In some ways I am an “adrenaline junky”, and probably most males fit this moniker to some degree.  I am careful in most things, so it is in my alter ego, or fantasy life that I live this trait.  Sometimes on my way to work, I’m living out a chase scene in heavy traffic (no I don’t, but I think about it).  So, I do like it when my Master calls me to the great and wonderfully obviously difficult things.  I like a challenge.

But as Chambers asks today, am I still listening to the truths my Master says about His love for me when the excitement has faded to a daily routine?  He uses the promise from my Master in Hebrews 13:5, where the writer is wrapping up the letter by urging the believers to be of good character.  He supports the call to generosity and contentment with possessions with the quote, “For I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

What I derive from this passage and from Chambers’ development of it is that I am to be content rather than grasping.  To be grasping is to take control of the provision for my family and myself, and become my own power-hungry god.  What starts as a good desire to provide for my family takes over my ambition fueled by my selfishness and self-centeredness. 

When my senior supervisor spoke of my working remotely as if it were a sure thing, instead of relaxing in the provision my Master was clearly making, I worried about the details.  What a stupid thing to do.  What can I do to affect any change or detail?  If the people involved can’t come to a consensus within one conversation before I leave, is that really my problem?  What will I have lost that I already have?  I have already renounced my job, and have been ready to move without it.  Clearly if my Master can demonstrate that my superiors want me to continue, He can also provide another set of superiors in my new home.  In fact, their desire to continue to use me means shows me that He is truly interested in this area of my life.

I still wonder at the details; mostly because I don’t know how the technical stuff I use every day really works.  But there is also the fear of “what if they don’t get this ironed out before I leave?”  Well, what if they don’t?  Do I think that, after providing so far, initiating this process, my Master has lost control of the situation?  Really?  Of course, when posed that way, I don’t believe that.  Yet, when my pulse quickens, and my brows furrow just thinking about what will happen between now and June 24, faith is not what’s coursing through my soul.  And therefore, neither is peace.

But I know the peace I want.  I have felt the serenity of trust in my Master, even having decided to go without a job.  So I know what I should be feeling.  And I miss that feeling.  What is true, from here until I die, is that my Master loves me, He has my back, and I am at His service.  The first two truths enable my availability for the third.  I am not at His service if I’m distracted by what I cannot control or know.  I hate not knowing.  But I don’t know, and I really have no way to find out what I need to know.

So, even with the clear provision developing, I must still wait, worship, and walk before my Master.  Sure I can see the end of this phase of my life ending, and the beginning of another is immanent.  Yet, I am not quite finished here, and my Master calls me to finish well.  I have a job to do, customers to service, and a team to support.  He has my back, now it’s time to roll up my sleeves and get busy.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": June 4th.

Three Parts of Trust

This is the strangest entry in MUFHH so far.  It is split up into three short points on trust.  First off, I should not trust anyone but my Master.  He uses a verse in John which was really hard for me to translate into English, 2:24-25.  It spoke of Jesus not committing Himself to the crowds with whom He was popular.  I have been there for a long time, in fact I don’t remember how I got there, but I doubt it was pleasant.

I distrust to a point of being prejudiced against personality-based ministries.  So Billy Graham ministries never intrigued or attracted me (prejudiced).  But then again, I have never been one for TV evangelists or popular authors either.  I believe that, at some point, the attention on the person usurps the attention which belongs entirely to my Master.

Second, I should put the work of my Master first.  What Chambers means by this is the work of my Master in me.  The idea is that, before I run off and be “effective” for my Master, I should first be available to His hands to modify me.  I need to shed the idea that I’m fine as I am; that I am already what He wants me to be so I can be effectively used by Him.  So, one of the things that needs to go is pride.

Lastly, is hard for me to really understand.  I’m guessing there was a lot more to that point not in the entry which makes it clearer.  The gist, as best as I can see it, is that I am to allow my Master to be “born in me” like Bethlehem.  I think Chambers is describing the process of allowing Jesus to live more through me; to the point that others see Him more than me, or at least as much as they see me.

I am no way near there yet.  There are so many areas where my Master has yet to have mastery over me.  I still am so obvious; my fears, my pride, and my shame driving me instead of my faith, my awareness of my servant status before my Master, and my radical acceptance by my Master.  When those become more obvious than the fear, pride, and shame then I will be more like Bethlehem (a house of bread).  I will have something to offer.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": May 31st.

Sick and Tired Meanderings

I want to go back to sleep.  I am tired, sick, and my head hurts.  I know that I don’t really want to read Chambers entry for today.  I know that Matthew 6:25 says don’t worry, but Chambers titles this entry with the word “infidelity” and I know where he is going with this.  If I worry about the details of my life like clothes, food, and lodging, I am being unfaithful to my Master.

I don’t like that because I more often than not have little care for most of those things.  But those are examples, not an exhaustive list.  I still worry about stuff, only my list has  work, friends/co-workers, and dogs on it.  It’s a different set of common things in life, and just as petty.  I too feel the infidelity of my attitude toward my Master.  I see that my lack of faith is misplaced when I worry about these things.

But here I sit in the sweats, sinus’ throbbing, eyes barely open trying to write this blog so I can document my failure to submit in these areas.  Now I’m nauseous too with coffee and sinus drainage.  I feel I should go in to work today to enter orders from the trade-show last week.  That is where the silly worry comes in.  Why worry?  If I’m sick, I can spread this around work since I got it from my family.  Why do I feel such a need to go in and work?  The month is ending, and this would take care of the remainder of my goal for the month, and the team is behind, so it would help them as well.

Essentially, my struggle with this verse, and the entire passage, is in the area of co-dependency.  I want to care for others so I feel better.  It’s not my job, that’s the job of my Master.  I want tranquility and peace in my home, yet in relationships, that is not always possible.  My desires may not match the passage, but they stem from the same place, and they are answered in the same way.  They come from my desire for control and fears, and they are answered by submission to my Master.  Chambers calls it abandon.  That’s a great way to put it.

So, today I will allow myself to be sick.  I will permit my family the space to be in turmoil.  I will submit to my Master in these situations, and know the peace and serenity from Him.  Today’s spiritual discipline is releasing my concern for my family and my co-workers to my Master.  I will concern myself with rest, fluids, tissues, and Tylenol.  I will rest in the belief that my Master has the rest under control.

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": May 23rd.

Learning Patience From A Beagle

Happy Mothers Day!  This morning, I am up too early.  And I cannot go back to sleep partly because I am frustrated with my dog.  He will not take care of business when I take him out to pee and poo.  Every smell and every sound is a distraction.  He hates being leashed and is stubborn in resisting being led or being kept from wandering.  I spend way too much time waiting for him only to have him do nothing.  I have tried staying in one place.  I have tried moving from place to place.  He won’t do what I need him to do.  And then he pees on the carpet.  I’m about ready for a pair of beagle slippers at this point.

On the other hand, my Master leads me to good ground, and I don’t take care of business.  He has tried leaving me in one spot, and tried moving me around.  I resist being leashed, wanting to go where I want distracted by bright lights and movement out of the corner of my eye.  I do the right thing, but sometimes in the wrong spot.  I am sure that He has been about ready to make a pair of Matty-slippers at times.  But He doesn’t.

The patience which my Master displays with me is not an easy attitude to take on.  I have trouble with beagles and daughters.  I struggle with patience in traffic and with my wife.  But not with my Master, not yet.  It’s possible that, once we have moved, are without a house, without jobs, and struggling with financial fears, I may loose my patience with my Master.  I did moving out here.  But I also came around to complete trust before He delivered security.  So, I know that, while in much of my life I do not “do patience”, with my Master I have reserves of it. 

And by processing my struggle with patience, I have released the tension from my frustration, and can barely keep my eyes open.  So, I’m headed back to bed.  I hope the dumb dog doesn’t pee on the carpet. 

Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest": May 8th.