A Philosophical Theology of the Necessity of Missionary Work: Being a Catalyst of Life

There is a question in the discussion of religious thought about what happens to those who have never heard of the saving message of Jesus.  The answer is critical to any missionary enterprise.  Chambers hits it obliquely and seems to create a defense of not sending missionaries at all.  He doesn’t because his discussion isn’t complete, but his discussion of sin is very interesting.

In Romans, Paul addresses this question head-on.  As a missionary, he has a vested interest in defending what has become the enterprise of his whole life. Chambers refers to a portion of this discussion in Romans 5:12.  Paul is using a compare and contrast between Jesus and Adam to make his point about the problem with humanity and the solution Jesus provides. 

So, how does Chambers define sin? He says, “The disposition of sin is not immorality and wrong-doing, but the disposition of self-realization - I am my own god.”  Once upon a time in my not-so-distant past, I was all excited about what I believe is the central theme of all of Scripture.  I believe that all of Scripture (and therefore all of this life) is “School” and we are all being educated on the difference between life and death.  The definitions seem easy, except that I don’t believe they are physical events. I believe life and death only have meaning on a relational level, and especially in the relationship with my Master.

So, what?  Well I think that Chambers and I are together on one point, though my describe it differently.  I believe that it is theoretically possible for someone to seek the Creator of the cosmos without having heard of Jesus.  And that someone like that would be saved.  I say “theoretically” because it’s an argument from silence, and is impossible to test, and, therefore prove (nice argument to have until someone point that out).  Paul says people are without excuse precisely because the cosmos declares the existence of the Creator, but he also says that no one seeks the Creator and people are satisfied worshipping the creation instead. 

But if Chambers is right in his definition, then his definition supports a “theoretical” situation like mine.  In fact, Chambers says that God does not hold us guilty of the disposition toward sin (self-realization), but of rejecting Jesus as the solution.  That would mean telling others of Jesus would suddenly make them culpable before the Creator.  There is more to the belief, I assure you.  Yes, at the point the specific choice is presented, the choice, once made, decides eternity.  But the opportunity only provides a new option where before there was only one.  Without the missionary effort, the cosmos will only descend into deeper darkness swallowing any potential random isolated lights.

So, when I keep my life (my relationship with my Master) to myself claiming that is is my business, I rob my community.  I rob my community of faith, and I rob my community of those without such a relationship.  When I claim that my relationship with my Master is my business I sin by claiming that self-realization that puts me on the throne reserved for my Master.  I refuse to obey and serve when I do that.  My relationship with my Master is not my business precisely because it is not mine, but His.  He started it, He reached out to me, He chose me, and He is the One making it possible to maintain.  How can that be my business?  I deny my Master’s claim on my life when I refuse to disclose that relationship to my community.

I know where I need to change.  I need to develop the practice of referring to my Master in conversation.  I need to become known for that.  My references to Him should become just the normal way I refer to elements of my life.  Right now that would sound forced and canned.  It would take time for such a practice to become natural.  I need to spend that time, and adopt that practice.  If I am not a sign pointing to my Master, then my life and my relationship with Him is a waste.  Remember, I claim to believe that life is defined by relationship, especially with my Master.  So then why would I not want others around me to live as well?  Why would I let a community remain dead?  All it would take is a change in my normal behavior, and then I could be a catalyst for others to have life.  Right now, I have little to no effect what so ever.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 5

Am I Destined For More Than This? Is The Wrong Question

This has to be an entry made up of a lot more that was said by Chambers.  There has to be some pieces missing.  The initial ideal is the calling to be a holy one.  Then Chambers goes into a vision tested and proven in the crucible of the “valley” experience of yesterday.  His point today is that the vision does not become a reality until going through the valley, and that my Master doesn’t let me avoid it, but hunts me down.

In some sense I like the idea that my Master won’t just let me slink away from a vision He has given me.  On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder about leaving the ministry.  I believe it was the right, or at least necessary, thing; even now.  But now I question that assumption.  Part of what I’m struggling with comes from the context in which Chambers writes.  His is at a school for missionaries and that is his audience.  So he spends a lot of time on ministry-focused calling because that is what is at stake in that place.  So his context continually brings me around to consider my own.

I don’t know that I am called to be a phone-sales person for the rest of my life, but I do know several people who have been at the job I do for a very long time.  I’m not sure I want that or that my Master wants that for me.  But, on the other hand, I’m not sure He doesn’t either.  The situation I am in now does not provide a large degree of vertical movement within the company.  While I’m grateful to the company and my managers for the opportunity to do this, I don’t harbor illusions that I can manage some group remotely; unless it were a group of remote individuals, and we don’t have that yet.

But regardless of opportunities, the reality I need to focus on is the direction my Master has me in now.  Right now He has clearly placed me and my family in this place.  He has made every provision for us here.  So, I know that right now, He wants me to continue in this place doing what I already do.  Since I haven’t been told anything else so far, I will continue on that track.  The vision given so far is to be His holy one right here.  I have a wife and daughter I am to comfort and love, and I have a church in which to minister.  I have stuff to do.

I don’t need more, but if my Master leads to more, I’ll just need to be ready, and listening for His call.  I am content to be His servant in this situation and this set of circumstances.  I am content to wait on Him for whatever else He leads me to.  I will be content to take from His hand without grasping for more control and what I can make.

On the other hand, I don’t want to be that servant who buried his talent of silver.  I know that in what I have been trusted, I need to put it to work.  So, right now I will focus on being a good husband, father, church member, and employee.  I will not loose sight of what I have right here in my daily life looking for the possibility of more.  In this time and place, perhaps the valley of reality that Chambers refers to, I will be faithful to this vision and this calling.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 4

Engaging the Enemy While Busy Talking to God? Exactly!

Back in the account of the downside of the Mount of Transfiguration, the disciples finally get a chance to ask Jesus why they could not cast out the demon.  Why not this time after all the success on the road previously?  His answer is that “this kind can not go out if not in prayer.”  It seems an odd explanation.

It reveals that there are “kinds” of demons which is chilling.  It assumes (and He would know) that the disciples weren’t praying.  The alternative is that they were trying to cast the demon out by their own power using the name of Jesus as a “tool”; much like a pry bar, or spiritual jaws of life.  I can see the disciples doing something of this sort.

In some sense, it is like relying on my own power after relying on Jesus for salvation and sanctification.  I giddily run at the demon shouting behind me, “I got this one!”  I have to remember that I run in borrowed armor, and therefore clumsily, prone to falling, and having to hitch up the belt while holding the sword and shield.  And then the breastplate always seems to be in the wrong spot to reach the buckle on the belt.  I’m telling you, truth is hard sometimes.  Denial is a lot easier.  Of course, it’s also a lot less effective.

So, why prayer (and fasting if you have an older translation)?  I agree with Chambers who says that this sort requires a close connection of uninterrupted contact with Jesus.  I would think a lot of things fit into this category, and I have no idea what “kind” of demon fits into it and what kind doesn’t.  I would think they all would.

Now, don’t misunderstand me here, I don’t have experience facing demon possessed people.  My spiritual warfare experience comes from prayer walks, personal intercessory prayer for protection from the enemy for my family, and group prayer over a brother or sister spiritually oppressed (not depressed).  It’s not that I don’t believe demon possession doesn’t happen, it’s just that my Master hasn’t ever presented me with that sort of issue so far.

But even in those circumstances I have been faced with, I still only experience any measure of success when I sink deep into my Master in prayer.  It’s like wading out into a deep mountain lake, only it’s warm and comforting; and I can feel it consume me in it’s warmth like a blanket, yet it remains unimaginably massive.  It is from this safe place I try to engage in spiritual battle successfully.  I wish I could say that’s the only place I engage in spiritual battle, but it seems I’m a slow learner.

And so, I see that my bunker for spiritual battle is my Master.  My armor and weapons belong to Him, and I have it on loan (so, therefore it fits Him and not so much me, just in case you were wondering about the third paragraph).  I don’t hunker down, I sally forth in prayer.  I engage the spiritual forces of darkness while in conversation with my Master.  I follow the tactics of Michael who refused to rebuke the enemy and instead said, “The Lord rebuke you!” (Jude 9). 

In a sense, I hold a place in line while the work is done by my Master.  He leads the charge, engages the enemy and defeats them.  I hold a place with my fellows.  I pray.  I seek His face and in the ensuing conversation witness the destruction of powers that held captives, the fall of dark forces oppressing myself and other believers, and the total defeat of a power of the air that seeks to devour straying souls.  It’s better than HBO and ESPN, I’ll tell you that.  My team always wins.  Hu-Rah!

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 3, 2011

On The Downside of The Mountaintop

I am fighting the frustration of not knowing why something doesn’t work.  I know that part of my frustration is that I don’t understand the fundamental underlying principles, but I expect that I should.  I don’t know exactly why that bothers me, but it can’t be a good thing.

In the area of computers I have worked and used them, understanding the fundamental principles since I was a kid.  Now, everything is so different, I feel like an idiot when something goes wrong.  Now computers have programs that move at so many layers with so many objects and files, I can’t follow them any longer.  It bothers me, and it bothers me that it bothers me.

I get part of my problem; I used to feel that computers were one thing I could control.  That stopped being true a long time ago as things changed rapidly, but I didn’t keep up with the changes.  I used to program, but that field has changed so much I would have to start over to learn it.  I used to know how to link computers, but networking evolved into systems that completely bypassed all the “mainframes” I used to know, and is almost totally based on small computer architecture.  I have no idea how that works.  I have a surface knowledge of components in my own home network, but subnet masks, various type of servers, and routing tables baffle me.  I used to be on the cutting edge, but now I’m not.

So, now when Microsoft Word decides it can’t find my blog account with no reason given I’m frustrated.  Why now after 3 months of working fine, and no changes either to my account or to the application?  I do the same thing, but get different results.  That has been my experience with computers lately.

Today, Chambers refers to the commonplace world in the valley below the mountaintop experience.  In this place, the emotional experience gives way to a clamoring reality.  Sure, I surrender to my Master all that goes into my day, and immediately run into a minor hiccup.  Suddenly my own hidden supply of personal mastery is challenged and defeated.  And just as suddenly I pitch the thin veneer of my submission into the dumpster as I rant about my loss of control over a precious area of my world.

So I don’t know as much as I would want about computers, so what?  So I don’t get networking terms and concepts any more, so what?  So I don’t have the time (or inclination, or money) to catch up with the industry, so what?  Seriously, do I need such knowledge or skills?  I know some who have skills in those areas I don’t, and they have to fiddle with stuff just like I do, they clearly don’t know it all.  They may know a subnet mask from an Ethernet plug, but the run aground pretty quick as well when computers misbehave.  Why do I expect that I shouldn’t have such problems?  How dumb is that?

Why is my particular valley so close to the mountain?  Do you know how really inconvenient that is for me; to test my emotional conviction right after the experience?  It hasn’t even had a chance to gel yet, coagulate into faith, or whatever it does.  Why does the shallowness of my devotion in an emotional experience have to be so quickly exposed by such a silly reality?  Can’t it wait until I’m done blogging and well into my day?

Anyway, where was I?  Oh, right: life in the valley.  Well, I do love time with my Master, to see His creation, experience His presence, and be consumed by His Spirit.  My failure comes on the way down into the real day-to-day application of that experience.  I have to go back to what it means:  You love me, You have my back, and I am at Your service.  I can’t be much service on the mountaintop.  Where did I put my work boots and gloves?  Time for church!

Oswald chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 2

Time on the Mountain, Time for the Valley

Mountain-top experiences are great.  They exhilarate, they invigorate, they inspire, and they energize which is surprising when there so much happening.  Chambers refers to Peter, James, John’s mountain-top experience where Jesus was transformed.  It is an ironic and important part of this account that when they descended the disciples were having trouble doing what they had been able to do before, cast out a demon.  They had done that with great success when they were sent out in pairs not long ago.  Peter, James, and John carried this amazing vision, excited, inspired, energized, but return to a squabbling mob.  It becomes quite a reality check for them.

The times I have had mountain-top experiences, like Chambers said, I wanted to stay there.  Peter wanted to build shelters; he wanted to stay there too.  I have also tried to manufacture those times, times where I go away by myself and pray.  The problem is that I’m praying for an emotional spiritual event rather than to meet my Master without distraction.  I live in an area where it is fairly easy to find somewhere alone to pray.  I wouldn’t have to travel very far and find a nice view, quiet, and settle into a nice time with my Master.  But the expectations I carry with me form all the distractions I need to limit my experience of my Master.

The truth I know, but I find hard to actualize, is that I can spend time with my Master anywhere.  My ability to concentrate isn’t great, but still, I can, and have lost myself even in crowds, talking only with my Master.  Granted it doesn’t happen often, but it doesn’t require a lot of travel either.  What I have found key to quality time with my Master is focus on my Master.  Adoration helps, praise helps, and worship helps focus on Him.  In fact, when I have to recover my distracted mind in prayer, I have to use those techniques or it’s not going to happen.  I have learned that I am a poor subject when it comes to talking with my Master, and He is the perfect Subject.  I suspect it is the perspective I gain from making Him the subject, but all I really know is that it works.

I sometimes have to fight my resentment that everything gets to be about Him, and how selfish that seems.  Fortunately I write it or say it, and see how ridiculous that sounds, and the resentment evaporates into the thin air it came from.  How can anything not be about the Maker of the universe around me?  How can everything not be about the One tracing quarks and forming stars and moving entire galaxies?  How, in such a universe, can anything be about me?  Ironically, as I focus on Him, I actually have His attention, and the time from His perspective, is about me (not to the exclusion of everyone else, the quarks and stars as well, but still).  He multi-tasks quality time with me in ways I can never achieve for Him.  

It often helps me to maintain perspective when I accept and internalize that is only about me to the extent I am one of His human creatures, rather than as a distinct individual.  To the individual level, He is certainly aware of me, knows my name, where I am, my very thoughts, and His love never wavers for me.  But that level is only one among the mass of humanity, past, present, and future also in His awareness to that extent, and also enjoying His unwavering love.  Unlike what Hollywood would like me to believe, this world is never about me, what I want, and what I can accomplish.  I do not make my own destiny, but I can fulfill my purpose I was designed to fulfill.  And what I was designed to do is to point to my Master, and put Him on display for all the others with whom I share His attention.

The mountain-top experience can sometimes be experienced in front of a laptop keyboard, in a brisk morning, sipping a warm mocha latte.  In spite of the warmth of the coffee and fleece jammies, I still sometimes feel a chill from my Master’s touch.  And I know it’s not the cool morning air because this touch often brings a tear of inexpressible joy from emotional places so deep within, I didn’t know they existed.  I know when my Master’s Spirit moves within my own.  Sometimes I stop to enjoy the passing, and sometimes I keep going, hoping I will have another chance later.  But the tendrils of the smoky glowing cloud about His feet reach even now into my soul’s recesses.  Here He comes.

And there He goes.  The trick now is to walk with Him through this day.  I have weeds to pull in my in-laws yard with my family.  We have a trip to the city to spend too much money (not really, but it always feels that way), and let my daughter enjoy a skate-park.  The tear trails remain on my cheeks, but reality is coming.  The day begins, and I so desire for the peace to remain with me throughout.  I want to remain on the mountain, but I have a life my Master desires to use for His purposes in this day.  I have work to do.  There are a lot of opportunities to descend into emotional chaos.  But there are just as many to glorify my Master; even if I am the only one around me pointing.  I suppose that’s the hardest part, relinquishing my co-dependent desire to control those around me.  Well, here it goes.  Into the valley I go!

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 1

Pathological Endurance of Circumstantial Pressures, Or Something Like That

One of the ironies of my walk with my Master is the suffering. My ministry buddy, Paul sets a high bar for suffering though. When I look back over whatever suffering I have had, it was really just irritating or annoying compared to what he endured. So, when Chambers takes Paul's comment in Colossians 1:24, one that has always surprised me, and ties it to Paul's call to minister, I am confused.

There are two words used in this verse for "suffering". One is related to "pathos" or where we get pathological, and this one refers to painful, perhaps more emotional suffering. This is the first one used to refer to the "suffering over y'all" Paul does. The second word refers to affliction from outside circumstances, and is fairly common. It is more circumstantial than malevolent and is the "suffering of Christ" that had a short fall made up by Paul (which is the surprising part).

By tying these words together, Paul is taking two fairly distinct concepts and melding them into his elements of his ministry over the Church in Colossae, one where he had not been. What he is describing is an emotional pain over them, and then the afflictions suffered by Christ. But Paul makes up was missing in the inventory of Christ's afflictions in his body. That shocks me, it may not strike you as peculiar, but I'm seriously challenged by that statement. Christ wasn't afflicted enough in this world, so Paul makes up what was lacking in those afflictions? He either thinks a lot of himself or not enough of Christ, or both. I don't know if you caught it, but the "afflictions" were not of Christ when He ministered in this world during His earthly ministry, but in His afflictions currently on behalf of the church (His body) in the world.

Ok, you may still not see that, but when/if you do it makes applying this verse and attitude a lot easier. To follow Paul's example, I accept affliction in this life on behalf of the church, just as each affliction of the church afflicts my Master. It is part of my identification with my Master, and it is a painful part. Sure Paul spent time in prison, but he also spent time in prayer, sending messengers to gain news of congregations, and emotional time with his Master interceding for these easily confused congregations. The letters of the Christian Scriptures ascribed to Paul are almost all corrective of problems in congregations all over Southern Europe and Asia Minor. They are products of Paul's time in prayer on their behalf.

Now, Chambers takes this and ties it to my calling and the pain that focuses in one particular area of service. He distinguishes this calling from what I want to do when I come to my Master in sanctification (the process of being made holy; i.e. set aside for divine service only). Chambers says that is self-directed, and the pain referred to in this verse is pain in the calling directed by my Master. I don't see the connection exactly. When I was called to whatever it was I missed, it wasn't pain that guided me. When I was called it was being carried away by the Spirit of my Master in doing something I couldn't explain and couldn't replicate. Perhaps I should have looked for pain instead?

Perhaps I don't really understand either this verse or Chambers entry. I agree with where Chambers goes after the first paragraph, but how he ties that to this verse I don't quite see. On the other hand, it may be that I don't understand this verse either. I assumed it had to do with Paul's prison time, but it seems otherwise. I'm not exactly clear on the otherwise, and I may not even really get which afflictions of Christ are being filled up. So, perhaps, in this cloud of obscurity and confusion, I should just back away, and try this again in October…

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, September 30

God Calling, Collect?

I get real skeptical and perhaps defensive when someone spouts off about what they believe about someone else's call by my Master. So, when Chambers says that when someone can articulate the call he doubts it was truly a call from God, all my defensive antennae go up and my face furrows. How would he know? I have to admit that I do that to a certain degree as well, but I only withhold judgment believing the proof will reveal itself over time. But I know enough of my Master to know that His work in others is beyond my understanding. I have seen too many unexpected things in and through others to hedge in what His work or call will look like.

Probably because I think I got my call wrong, I doubt anyone's ability to say for sure what someone else's call might be. And, conversely, I also doubt what others might say my calling is. I have heard that used to try and manipulate me to do something that was from them rather than from my Master. "I believe you're called to (insert whatever ministry they are having trouble recruiting for) and should obey God." On the other hand, there are a few that know me well, and I trust their wisdom. So if they were to say or suggest some direction my Master may be leading me, I tend to listen and test that more carefully.

But on the calling to preach, there is a lot of emotion in this area for me. I have changed a lot from what I used to be, and I now consciously scale back what I say. I am more skittish to stand out than I used to be. I used to, and could probably still, just preach something at the drop of a hat. I could probably preach for a long time on simple topics. But I am so disenchanted with my own abilities and scared of the damage my old attitudes caused that I don't.

I don't sense anything resembling a call to vocational ministry. In fact, I believe that any answers to some interview I might have with a perspective searching committee would disqualify fairly quickly. I am no longer driven to drive a thriving congregation to take over the community. I am not up to that fight anymore. It smacks too much of me and my ability rather than my Master and His purpose. I have never been a type-A personality anyway, but my tendency toward depression and my stubborn beliefs about Scripture and my Master don't ingratiate me to churches. Even if they are not looking for a type-A, I strongly resist control and manipulation by others either confrontationally or passive aggressively. I doubt that's all that healthy.

Now, I have added to my several disqualifying characteristics the desire to move only as fast as my Master reveals the road ahead. And I am happy to wait on Him for a very long time. That trait will truly drive a church up the wall. It sounds good, but is so determined by my ability to see my Master's leading, that getting people to follow such a schedule will be very difficult. They would need to both agree to the process and be looking for His leading as well. Churches are made up of people who do not seek the Master of the Universe, but more often pursue either a god of their own making, or someone to engage the true Master on their behalf. I have little patience with either, partly because such people rob me. I need the perspective of others to better understand my Master. If they are looking at some other god, or looking at some priest instead of Him, I am robbed of their vision and perspective of God.

So with my low opinion of church people and my skepticism of the opinions of others, I think it's pretty clear my Master is not calling me to vocational ministry. But I do sense a clear calling to be a part of church. I can't sit and just criticize; griping and sniping in festering resentment. I know that people are not so much evil as just scared or ignorant. I am too, so I get that. By engaging in church, I hope that, together with others, I will seek and find my Master, and His purpose and direction more clearly. I know I join a bunch of imperfect people to do so, I just hope they don't mind one more festering example of imperfection in their midst. I'll try to mind them either. And I promise to work on my anger issues.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, September 29