John 21 has
always seemed a strange account of the post-resurrection time of Jesus. It clearly gives the impression that Jesus
was not constantly with the disciples, but that seems so strange. Where else would He be? Yet here they are in Galilee and decide to go
fishing. After a fruitless night Jesus waits for them on the beach, and then
helps them with the haul of their lives.
Peter jumps into the water and swims to meet Jesus. Then there is the awkward breakfast, and then
Jesus indicates the manner in which Peter would be killed. As they walk away, John follows, and Peter
asks about him. Jesus tells Peter to
concern himself with his own devotion.
That is
where the verses Chambers uses, John 21:21-22 fall in the chapter. Peter sees the other disciple following, and
asks about him. Jesus says, “If I might want
him to remain until I come, what to you?
You follow Me.” In my devotion to
Jesus I’m not supposed to intervene between my Master and His work in
others. There is a difference between
intervening and participating. I’m not
confident I understand the difference, but I do know it has something to do
with my focus and devotion to my Master.
Chambers
then goes on to say that my devotion should be unconscious. That’s the part I know but fight against. As I am more devoted to my Master, the rest
comes naturally. My natural tendencies
are changed to conform more to His nature, so I will tend to act and respond
according to His nature, not my old nature.
I focus on being devoted to my Master, and He will use me in the lives
of others. I don’t know if I trust
myself enough for this yet. On the other
hand, I’m not sure that my lack of trust is not an excuse to retain some of my
autonomy. I’m pretty good at excuses, so
this could all be an excuse to hide behind false piety; two layer protection.
I know it’s
true. I know that my relationships and
other involvement in this world become automatic once my devotion to my Master
is settled. The way I have described it
in the past is that I will finally walk in two spheres at once, awareness of
the spiritual and the physical simultaneously.
I will be able to see the spiritual side of situations rather than just
the annoying physical side. That would
have helped me yesterday when my daughter had an emotional meltdown. I would have liked to have been able to see
the spiritual forces behind that. It was
all I could do to keep myself from exploding.
I did verbally, actually, and I don’t usually…I think.
This is the
place where I see growth in the next few months. I hope to become less stuck on my own
circumstances, more focused on my Master, and make it a natural thing to become
confused with Him, rather than go to Him once I’m so frustrated I can’t see
straight. When things don’t confuse me,
and I’m already focused on my Master, then I can just move and live
naturally. When a crisis presents
itself, then I can seek to engage it, participating with my Master’s Spirit,
rather than with my own resources and understanding. Well, I expect another crisis today. I had three yesterday. Practice, practice, practice.
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