Then he believed in the LORD; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness. And He said to him, "I am the LORD who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans, to give you this land to possess it." He said, "O Lord GOD, how may I know that I will possess it?" So He said to him, "Bring Me a three year old heifer, and a three year old female goat, and a three year old ram, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon." Then he brought all these to Him and cut them in two, and laid each half opposite the other; but he did not cut the birds. The birds of prey came down upon the carcasses, and Abram drove them away. Now when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, terror and great darkness fell upon him. God said to Abram, "Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, where they will be enslaved and oppressed four hundred years. "But I will also judge the nation whom they will serve, and afterward they will come out with many possessions. "As for you, you shall go to your fathers in peace; you will be buried at a good old age. "Then in the fourth generation they will return here, for the iniquity of the Amorite is not yet complete." It came about when the sun had set, that it was very dark, and behold, there appeared a smoking oven and a flaming torch which passed between these pieces. On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, "To your descendants I have given this land, From the river of Egypt as far as the great river, the river Euphrates: (Genesis 15:6-18)
Abram has just had his belief credited to him as righteousness by the Creator of the heavens and the earth. The statements of God continue, and Abram asks, "How may I know that I will possess it?" How may I know? Show me a sign. Prove it. Things I would consider gutsy to ask of God. Abram's just been credited with righteousness for belief, so did he just use up his credit?
It seems that God doesn't have a problem with the question, and proceeds to provide the proof. It is an odd way to do it for our culture, but essentially what God does is bind Himself in a Suzerain Treaty. What He has said with the divided carcasses is that, "If I don't make good on my promise, may this happen to Me." God would be destroyed, laid in half, before He would break this promise.
But when I consider the One making this promise and binding Himself to it in such a dramatic fashion, I understand better the sense of verse 12, "Now when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, terror and great darkness fell upon him." God had arrived. The One forming stars and laying out the patterns for quarks shows up. Unimaginable awesome and utterly destructive Presence emerges into His creation, clothed in darkness to preserve His servant, but the terror remains.
This was not some earthly king laying out victims of his latest battle for those who remain to walk between; binding them to a covenant of servitude. This is the King of Kings moving between the victims. The smoking oven and flaming torch passing between the divide carcasses seems to bind Him to Abram, as if Abram is the king, and God serves Abram.
How does my "theology of God" incorporate this concept? How does this not threaten or negate the "Sovereignty of God"? How is it that the Maker of all Matter will bind Himself to one of His human creatures in such a fashion and not give up His status and place as Ruler of all? Who is this Abram that he should witness such a thing, preserve such a story? And why would it be recorded, inspired by the One binding Himself? This is something that the King of Kings wants me to know about Him.
One reconciliation that I can make between this event and the Sovereignty of God is that the King of Kings binds Himself to His promise rather than Abram. Yet, the form of this event matches the form of such treaties among men, and that is not the case for them. Did Abram understand this as his God binding Himself to a promise or to Abram?
I believe God bound Himself to the promise, and that Abram understood this. Here's why: After this, Abram continues to submit himself to his God as Lord. He doesn't change his view and understand God as submitting to him. Secondly, Abram asked how he would know the promise would be fulfilled, and this is the answer God provides. The connection would make sense to him as an answer to his question.
So why does my Master want me to know this about Himself? Does He still do this? Does He still bind Himself to His promises? From this account, and others, I believe that the King of Kings, my Master, still considers Himself bound to His promises. I believe that my Master would cease to exist before He would break a promise. I can be more sure of Him and His promises than of the sunrise, even the one I witness now. Though I can see His creation, He is more sure and trustworthy than what I see. I believe. Perhaps that will be credited to my account like Abram's.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
An Astronomical Perspective
Then behold, the word of the LORD came to him, saying, "This man will not be your heir; but one who will come forth from your own body, he shall be your heir." And He took him outside and said, "Now look toward the heavens, and count the stars, if you are able to count them." And He said to him, "So shall your descendants be." Then he believed in the LORD; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness. (Genesis 15:4-6 NASB)
Abram has just beaten the four kings of the east and partied with the priest-king of God Most High, what are you going to do now? Well, it's time for a heart-to-heart with his God. What has been bothering Abram about the promise God has made to him comes to the surface. He gives voice to his fears. But it is God who starts the conversation. He begins with the statement that He is Abram's shield and protection. Abram responds with, "Show me the kid!"
The problem with Abram's situation is that, while he has been promised that the land will be possessed by his descendants, he doesn't have one child. It's an obvious problem. And it's one that makes this promise difficult to discuss with anyone. The first thing they do is look around Abram for a little boy, an obvious dilemma to receiving such a promise.
God has told Abram that his descendants will be like the dust, and that was nice. But now He brings Abram outside his tent and has him look at the stars. In that day, there were no lights except the lights of the heavens, and they shone through air far less dusty. The Milkyway is huge and bright, the colors of the stars distinct, and the patterns easy to make out. The stars shine back down on Abram, declaring the glory of God, they form an accounting of the work of His hands (Psalm 19:1). "Count them," says God. For in counting them is the futility of what Abram can do, and in what is being counted is the awesome power of what God can do.
Sure there are a lot of them, but counting means really paying attention to them. The glory of the One making the Heavens and the Earth resonates all through this immense sea of lights. They sparkle ever so slightly as the tiny debris of space and atmosphere blow by. Count them. It's not possible, but it is a worthy effort. Counting stars is an act of worship for Abram. He believes, and this belief goes on his account as righteousness. The promise of descendants to a old man without children is made by the One forming stars. If this One can do that, form hydrogen into flaming orbs of unapproachable light, perhaps He can be relied on to provide a child to the guy standing outside his tent holding his AARP card.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Choosing Between Two Kings
He brought back all the goods, and also brought back his relative Lot with his possessions, and also the women, and the people. Then after his return from the defeat of Chedorlaomer and the kings who were with him, the king of Sodom went out to meet him at the valley of Shaveh (that is, the King's Valley). And Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine; now he was a priest of God Most High. He blessed him and said, "Blessed be Abram of God Most High, Possessor of heaven and earth; and blessed be God Most High, Who has delivered your enemies into your hand." He gave him a tenth of all. The king of Sodom said to Abram, "Give the people to me and take the goods for yourself." Abram said to the king of Sodom, "I have sworn to the LORD God Most High, possessor of heaven and earth, that I will not take a thread or a sandal thong or anything that is yours, for fear you would say, 'I have made Abram rich.' I will take nothing except what the young men have eaten, and the share of the men who went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; let them take their share." (Genesis 14:16-24 NASB)
With 318 men of his own and 3 buddies, Abram defeats the wildly successful kings of the east; chases them around 30 miles after routing them. It was a wildly successful night of battle. He brings back all that was carried off, including his nephew, Lot. Now, as the saying goes, it's time to party. And, of course, to any party comes the king of Sodom, the royal party-animal!
But also coming out is the mysterious king of Salem (Jerusalem), Melchizedek. He is "priest of God Most High", or El-Elyon, a Canaanite reference to the chief god of their pantheon (Baal's dad or chief or whatever). Salem wasn't even involved in this encounter, nor was it all that close to the "Oaks of Mamre" where Abram came from. Why does he show up? And who is this guy?
If character is demonstrated by action, then Melchizedek demonstrates character which connects him to God. He brings bread and wine (a good move when coming to any party), and blesses Abram and El-Elyon. His prayer connects Abram to El-Elyon and credits El-Elyon with the victory over the kings. Abram responds by giving Melchizedek a tithe, a sign of submission. Again, who is this guy?
Melchizedek's name is made up of the Hebrew word for king (Melchi) and righteous (zedek). Later on, David takes the city of Jerusalem and suddenly there is this priest, Zadok working for him who eventually takes over the high-priesthood (a Canaanite priest?). So, David is "melchi" and Zadok is the priest. By the time that David takes the city of Jerusalem, the role of king and priest seems to be broken up between separate people. Yet the worship of El-Elyon is still acknowledged, and the priest kept. Interesting, isn't it?
So Abram responds positively to the priest-king of Salem. His response to the king of Sodom is less so. In fact, his response is rather insulting, even as it returns all the plunder to him. The king of Sodom wants the people, but gives all the rest to Abram and his buddies. Abram says a very interesting thing. He says that he has sworn to Yahweh, El-Elyon, that he would take nothing from the king of Sodom. That way it couldn't be said that the king of Sodom made Abram rich. Wow, in your face Sodomite king! If he doesn't like him, why come back with all the plunder, why not just his nephew and his stuff?
In the celebration of his victory, Abram differentiates between the guests in ways that were insulting in his culture and would be in ours as well. Am I too "nice" or rather fearful of what others would think to be so insulting? Would I stand up for my faith, and risk "ruining the mood"? Would I refuse a gift that really I had worked and risked for just because it represented a person and lifestyle I believe is in rebellion against my Master? Abram didn't just say no, he said no because. He clearly distinguishes between the two kings. Do I have the courage to do that; to do that when it would make such a publicly poignant and unpopular point?
I'm not in this position at the moment, and I can't remember when I have been. It's not that I haven't been given success, it's the whole choosing between two kings thing that I haven't been given, at least not like this. Every day I have to choose which king I will follow, the king of my appetites or the King of Righteousness. I wish I could say I always choose the Righteous King, but I can't. In the public setting, in the midst of the party, I want to make the public differentiation; to choose to give my tithe to one king, and refuse the gifts of the other. I want the wisdom to see the difference, and the courage to admit it publicly. I don't know when, or even if, it will ever happen. But I want to honor my Master when/if it does.
With 318 men of his own and 3 buddies, Abram defeats the wildly successful kings of the east; chases them around 30 miles after routing them. It was a wildly successful night of battle. He brings back all that was carried off, including his nephew, Lot. Now, as the saying goes, it's time to party. And, of course, to any party comes the king of Sodom, the royal party-animal!
But also coming out is the mysterious king of Salem (Jerusalem), Melchizedek. He is "priest of God Most High", or El-Elyon, a Canaanite reference to the chief god of their pantheon (Baal's dad or chief or whatever). Salem wasn't even involved in this encounter, nor was it all that close to the "Oaks of Mamre" where Abram came from. Why does he show up? And who is this guy?
If character is demonstrated by action, then Melchizedek demonstrates character which connects him to God. He brings bread and wine (a good move when coming to any party), and blesses Abram and El-Elyon. His prayer connects Abram to El-Elyon and credits El-Elyon with the victory over the kings. Abram responds by giving Melchizedek a tithe, a sign of submission. Again, who is this guy?
Melchizedek's name is made up of the Hebrew word for king (Melchi) and righteous (zedek). Later on, David takes the city of Jerusalem and suddenly there is this priest, Zadok working for him who eventually takes over the high-priesthood (a Canaanite priest?). So, David is "melchi" and Zadok is the priest. By the time that David takes the city of Jerusalem, the role of king and priest seems to be broken up between separate people. Yet the worship of El-Elyon is still acknowledged, and the priest kept. Interesting, isn't it?
So Abram responds positively to the priest-king of Salem. His response to the king of Sodom is less so. In fact, his response is rather insulting, even as it returns all the plunder to him. The king of Sodom wants the people, but gives all the rest to Abram and his buddies. Abram says a very interesting thing. He says that he has sworn to Yahweh, El-Elyon, that he would take nothing from the king of Sodom. That way it couldn't be said that the king of Sodom made Abram rich. Wow, in your face Sodomite king! If he doesn't like him, why come back with all the plunder, why not just his nephew and his stuff?
In the celebration of his victory, Abram differentiates between the guests in ways that were insulting in his culture and would be in ours as well. Am I too "nice" or rather fearful of what others would think to be so insulting? Would I stand up for my faith, and risk "ruining the mood"? Would I refuse a gift that really I had worked and risked for just because it represented a person and lifestyle I believe is in rebellion against my Master? Abram didn't just say no, he said no because. He clearly distinguishes between the two kings. Do I have the courage to do that; to do that when it would make such a publicly poignant and unpopular point?
I'm not in this position at the moment, and I can't remember when I have been. It's not that I haven't been given success, it's the whole choosing between two kings thing that I haven't been given, at least not like this. Every day I have to choose which king I will follow, the king of my appetites or the King of Righteousness. I wish I could say I always choose the Righteous King, but I can't. In the public setting, in the midst of the party, I want to make the public differentiation; to choose to give my tithe to one king, and refuse the gifts of the other. I want the wisdom to see the difference, and the courage to admit it publicly. I don't know when, or even if, it will ever happen. But I want to honor my Master when/if it does.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
How Close to Sodom Do I Get?
They also took Lot, Abram's nephew, and his possessions and departed, for he was living in Sodom. (Genesis 14:12 NASB)
Lot had moved from his tents and flocks on the valley floor near Sodom to actually living in Sodom. This move made he and his stuff "plunder" and he was carried off by the kings of the east. He saw the "good green land" and in spite of its proximity to Sodom, chose that. He pitched his tents near Sodom, out of all the region of the valley. And one chapter later he's in the city itself.
It's easy for me to point to Lot, and cluck my tongue, and shake my head, and think, "What an idiot", but am I that critical of myself? If I look at my life, in the past and even now, have I chosen the "good green land" where it looks easy to make a living? Have I ignored the influence of evil the sight of my Master so I could provide for my lifestyle easier? Did I decide to pitch my tents, out of all the area I chose to live in, right next to the evil influence; away from the joy of my Master?
Fernley used to be the fasted growing city in the nation. It's now one of the most (if not the most) economically depressed cities/communities in Nevada, one of the most economically depressed states. From Hero to Zero in less than three years. It easy for me to look at the obvious mistakes of the area, the over building, the excessive amount of "investment property" and the over-growth of certain types of businesses (7 pizza joints, and no donut shop - that just confuses me). Yet, what about my life, and my choices?
I chose to bail on ministry back in Y2K, (remember that?), and I probably should not have. I chose to leave school instead of pursuing a PhD, and I probably should have stayed and gone into teaching. I moved to California to get back into ministry only to have it unravel before it even began. I probably should not have done that either. Yet, I left ministry to protect my family; I left school because I was champing at the bit to get at what I had trained 10 years for; and I left Arizona to try and fix my past mistakes, and get back into the ministry I had left. Nothing I tried worked very well.
When I was in ministry, the people tore me and my wife up emotionally. When I was out of ministry and taking care of our home, I was in deep depression and nearly useless. When I failed to get back into ministry I wound up in whatever job I could find, which turned out to be a huge mortgage company (which is now no longer in existence).
I can focus on my mistakes, ones I've mentioned and the ones I haven't. I can, but I don't have to. If I continue to take Lot as my example, there will be a time when he has another chance to choose. He could live with nothing or return to his uncle. He chose to live with nothing in a cave with his two daughters. He hit bottom and still refused to repent. I need to learn from his example rather than following it.
Sure I can see my mistakes, but I also have a Master willing to receive me back. It's my responsibility to return. That means admitting I have been wrong, submitting to my Master, and again taking up the role of walking before Him. He has called me to wait on His word, worship Him as Master, and walk before Him as His servant. Now, whatever job I am in becomes a ministry, whatever church group I am in becomes an opportunity for worship, and whenever I am confronted with confusion I have an opportunity for instruction. Where shall I go today, my Master?
Lot had moved from his tents and flocks on the valley floor near Sodom to actually living in Sodom. This move made he and his stuff "plunder" and he was carried off by the kings of the east. He saw the "good green land" and in spite of its proximity to Sodom, chose that. He pitched his tents near Sodom, out of all the region of the valley. And one chapter later he's in the city itself.
It's easy for me to point to Lot, and cluck my tongue, and shake my head, and think, "What an idiot", but am I that critical of myself? If I look at my life, in the past and even now, have I chosen the "good green land" where it looks easy to make a living? Have I ignored the influence of evil the sight of my Master so I could provide for my lifestyle easier? Did I decide to pitch my tents, out of all the area I chose to live in, right next to the evil influence; away from the joy of my Master?
Fernley used to be the fasted growing city in the nation. It's now one of the most (if not the most) economically depressed cities/communities in Nevada, one of the most economically depressed states. From Hero to Zero in less than three years. It easy for me to look at the obvious mistakes of the area, the over building, the excessive amount of "investment property" and the over-growth of certain types of businesses (7 pizza joints, and no donut shop - that just confuses me). Yet, what about my life, and my choices?
I chose to bail on ministry back in Y2K, (remember that?), and I probably should not have. I chose to leave school instead of pursuing a PhD, and I probably should have stayed and gone into teaching. I moved to California to get back into ministry only to have it unravel before it even began. I probably should not have done that either. Yet, I left ministry to protect my family; I left school because I was champing at the bit to get at what I had trained 10 years for; and I left Arizona to try and fix my past mistakes, and get back into the ministry I had left. Nothing I tried worked very well.
When I was in ministry, the people tore me and my wife up emotionally. When I was out of ministry and taking care of our home, I was in deep depression and nearly useless. When I failed to get back into ministry I wound up in whatever job I could find, which turned out to be a huge mortgage company (which is now no longer in existence).
I can focus on my mistakes, ones I've mentioned and the ones I haven't. I can, but I don't have to. If I continue to take Lot as my example, there will be a time when he has another chance to choose. He could live with nothing or return to his uncle. He chose to live with nothing in a cave with his two daughters. He hit bottom and still refused to repent. I need to learn from his example rather than following it.
Sure I can see my mistakes, but I also have a Master willing to receive me back. It's my responsibility to return. That means admitting I have been wrong, submitting to my Master, and again taking up the role of walking before Him. He has called me to wait on His word, worship Him as Master, and walk before Him as His servant. Now, whatever job I am in becomes a ministry, whatever church group I am in becomes an opportunity for worship, and whenever I am confronted with confusion I have an opportunity for instruction. Where shall I go today, my Master?
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Master of the Moon
The moon is awesome to behold. The light of it captivated the imagination of ancient peoples; and their worship. Even without magnification it shows amazing features, which never vary except as light moves across its face. The marred surface shows vast damage from repeated impacts of huge space debris.
Such debris would devestate this planet repeatedly, rendering the theorized origin of species impossible. And the other side of the moon shows even more evidence of the effectiveness of our space shield.
Beautiful and practical, inspiring humans for millennia, and theorized to be accidental. But I believe I see in the moon the 'finger prints' of the Moon Master; the Master of the universe, my Master.
What do you see?
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If God Has My Back - Genesis 14
I'm not going to paste the entire chapter here, for thing I think it violates copyright laws. But I encourage anyone reading this to first read that whole chapter before reading the rest of this. A lot of this won't make sense without first being freshly familiar with this chapter. I thought I was familiar with it enough, and yet still, working through it again brought new stuff. Go read that first and then come back to this.
Welcome back...if you're honest anyway. If not, go read the chapter.
The essence of this chapter is that kings (possibly including the famous king, Hammarabi) from the region of Mesopotamia (Iraq, possibly Syria), attacked the area on the East side of the Jordan River. They got to nearly everyone in that region, including the cities along the valley floor (except for Jericho...which is really weird). After defeating all those kingdoms, they meet the kings of Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah (Edom), Zeboim (Gazelles), and Bela (Zoar) by the Dead Sea.
It's a rout, and every survivor of the Dead Sea region flees to the hills. The victorious kings plunder the area, including Sodom, and take Lot and his stuff captive. Not a lot of the battle is described, just the first part and the running away part. The reason for the campaign in this region seems to be the rebellion of the Dead Sea Kings against the King of Elam with whom they had a covenant (one not in their favor). When they didn't pay their tribute, they got away with it for a year, then the armies came from the east.
One of the survivors fleeing to the hills comes to Abram in Hebron. Hearing what happened to Lot, he doesn't hesitate, but takes off with three of his friends and all the "tried" men of his household (318) and takes off after the four victorious kings. All it says is that he catches up with them at Dan, divides his forces, attacks at night, and pursues them to North of Damascus. Abram wins. All the other kings and cities fail, but he, the nomad-sheep-and-cattle-herder, succeeds; and chases them half-way home.
This may seem rather incredible, it does to me. He doesn't even hesitate, though. It does not seem he had any doubt about what to do. It was insurmountable, very foolish, and clearly hopeless, but he does it anyway. It was as if, since family was involved, he willingly went to his doom out of family honor. I sort of wonder if Sarai was thinking about how she might get back down to Egypt to see Pharaoh when Abram didn't return.
I somehow doubt there was any doubt though. I don't think there was any concern that they might not succeed, in spite of the success record of their enemies. Abram was confident enough to bring his four new friends, brothers with whom he had an alliance. And they were confident enough to go with him. Where did this confidence come from? Where do I get a dose of that?
Back in chapter 12, God promises Abram protection. Abram has seen it at work in Egypt, and along the way as he traveled. He may have known these kings from the region he was raised in and left not long ago. And he knew his God. In comparison, he saw there was really no comparison. So, he had his relationship with his King and experience in that relationship.
I have that experience. I have seen my Master care for me in ways I couldn't imagine. I have seen Him make ends meet that I didn't even know existed; connect dots I couldn't see to draw between. Recently I have seen that my Master is Master over all the things I care about, and over all things I don't. I am learning slowly to relinquish my desire to make happen what I believe needs to happen. Instead, I simply need to do what I see He wants done. He loves me, He has my back, and I am at His service. I am free to serve, and to be used by Him to accomplish His purposes, or at least I should be.
But being that available requires me to constantly give up my causes, priorities, and my purposes. That's hard for me. It's hard in my family, in my job, and in my church. I want to right wrongs, and fix peoples misconceptions, and build faith! Not my job, that's my Master's job. I may see a need or a lack, and my Master may be leading me to address it, but not to "fix" it. He wants to use me to fix it. I'm not the faith-mechanic, I'm the faith-wrench. I don't get to choose one day to be a "wrench" and another an "impact wrench" or "hammer-drill". Again, my Master chooses how to use me, and what for. I still try to be some sort of dramatic hero, but that's not my role. I'm scenery, set dressing, and props. He is the Star, the Hero.
I was reminded this weekend that I'm not the one making happen what I see needs to happen. I may see what needs to happen, but my role is not the doer, but one of the ones used to do it. But I can't be used in that role if I keep trying to take control and be the one doing. To be used, I have to let go of control. I'm trying. I'm struggling with it, but I'm trying. Oh Master, please help me, and once again, be patient while I wrestle with my selfish ambition. I will bring it to you captive, I will. And I will try to hurry; there's work to be done, and You have a use for me I'm missing.
Welcome back...if you're honest anyway. If not, go read the chapter.
The essence of this chapter is that kings (possibly including the famous king, Hammarabi) from the region of Mesopotamia (Iraq, possibly Syria), attacked the area on the East side of the Jordan River. They got to nearly everyone in that region, including the cities along the valley floor (except for Jericho...which is really weird). After defeating all those kingdoms, they meet the kings of Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah (Edom), Zeboim (Gazelles), and Bela (Zoar) by the Dead Sea.
It's a rout, and every survivor of the Dead Sea region flees to the hills. The victorious kings plunder the area, including Sodom, and take Lot and his stuff captive. Not a lot of the battle is described, just the first part and the running away part. The reason for the campaign in this region seems to be the rebellion of the Dead Sea Kings against the King of Elam with whom they had a covenant (one not in their favor). When they didn't pay their tribute, they got away with it for a year, then the armies came from the east.
One of the survivors fleeing to the hills comes to Abram in Hebron. Hearing what happened to Lot, he doesn't hesitate, but takes off with three of his friends and all the "tried" men of his household (318) and takes off after the four victorious kings. All it says is that he catches up with them at Dan, divides his forces, attacks at night, and pursues them to North of Damascus. Abram wins. All the other kings and cities fail, but he, the nomad-sheep-and-cattle-herder, succeeds; and chases them half-way home.
This may seem rather incredible, it does to me. He doesn't even hesitate, though. It does not seem he had any doubt about what to do. It was insurmountable, very foolish, and clearly hopeless, but he does it anyway. It was as if, since family was involved, he willingly went to his doom out of family honor. I sort of wonder if Sarai was thinking about how she might get back down to Egypt to see Pharaoh when Abram didn't return.
I somehow doubt there was any doubt though. I don't think there was any concern that they might not succeed, in spite of the success record of their enemies. Abram was confident enough to bring his four new friends, brothers with whom he had an alliance. And they were confident enough to go with him. Where did this confidence come from? Where do I get a dose of that?
Back in chapter 12, God promises Abram protection. Abram has seen it at work in Egypt, and along the way as he traveled. He may have known these kings from the region he was raised in and left not long ago. And he knew his God. In comparison, he saw there was really no comparison. So, he had his relationship with his King and experience in that relationship.
I have that experience. I have seen my Master care for me in ways I couldn't imagine. I have seen Him make ends meet that I didn't even know existed; connect dots I couldn't see to draw between. Recently I have seen that my Master is Master over all the things I care about, and over all things I don't. I am learning slowly to relinquish my desire to make happen what I believe needs to happen. Instead, I simply need to do what I see He wants done. He loves me, He has my back, and I am at His service. I am free to serve, and to be used by Him to accomplish His purposes, or at least I should be.
But being that available requires me to constantly give up my causes, priorities, and my purposes. That's hard for me. It's hard in my family, in my job, and in my church. I want to right wrongs, and fix peoples misconceptions, and build faith! Not my job, that's my Master's job. I may see a need or a lack, and my Master may be leading me to address it, but not to "fix" it. He wants to use me to fix it. I'm not the faith-mechanic, I'm the faith-wrench. I don't get to choose one day to be a "wrench" and another an "impact wrench" or "hammer-drill". Again, my Master chooses how to use me, and what for. I still try to be some sort of dramatic hero, but that's not my role. I'm scenery, set dressing, and props. He is the Star, the Hero.
I was reminded this weekend that I'm not the one making happen what I see needs to happen. I may see what needs to happen, but my role is not the doer, but one of the ones used to do it. But I can't be used in that role if I keep trying to take control and be the one doing. To be used, I have to let go of control. I'm trying. I'm struggling with it, but I'm trying. Oh Master, please help me, and once again, be patient while I wrestle with my selfish ambition. I will bring it to you captive, I will. And I will try to hurry; there's work to be done, and You have a use for me I'm missing.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
A Little Alone Time, Without Lot
Now Lot, who went
with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. And the land could not
sustain them while dwelling together, for their possessions were so
great that they were not able to remain together. And there was strife
between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's
livestock. Now the Canaanite and the Perizzite were dwelling then in the
land. So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you
and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are
brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if
to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I
will go to the left." Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of
the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere -- this was before the
LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah -- like the garden of the LORD, like
the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar. So Lot chose for himself all the
valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated
from each other. Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled
in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom. Now
the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD.
The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Now lift up
your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward
and eastward and westward; for all the land which you see, I will give
it to you and to your descendants forever. "I will make your
descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the
dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered. Arise,
walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it
to you." Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the oaks of
Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the LORD.
(Genesis 13:5-18 NASB)
I am on my own for a bit this week. So, indulge me for a moment while I project my loneliness onto Abram in this passage. When Lot left, was Abram lonely? I suppose anywhere from a quarter, a third, or even perhaps half of what was about Abram just up and moved away. Was he sad, and did he miss his nephew? In my imagination, he did; but mostly because I miss my wife today.
It would be ironic that after separating for strife that he would miss the "hubbub", but isn't that how it goes? My wife is off because she's taking her mom on a trip, so there's no strife involved. And I realize the reasons I miss her span from my love for her to selfish self pity (yeah, I have range...). So, my situation isn't really like Abram's except in the hole the person leaves in my life.
But for me, my loneliness has a duration of two more days. Abram didn't have that. He knew his separation was indefinite. Sure he might visit or perhaps Lot might visit, but they would never again be together like they were. The hole left is much larger, and not due to the size of the group that left, but due to the relationship lost.
It is in the midst of these emotions, however strong or weak they were, when God shows up and speaks with Abram about his descendants. Was it encouraging or sobering? Did Abram find comfort in being told that one day his children would possess the land he viewed from the hills of Beth-El? In response he goes to Hebron, builds another altar, and calls on the name of God. So, I would guess he responds positively to what he's told.
In these times of being alone, I seek to hear from my Master. Yet, my Master is Master even over communication. He doesn't necessarily speak what I want, when I want, in ways I prefer. Instead, He draws me in, not with words, but with the gnawing need in my soul for His presence. He may speak to me, but what I need is to walk about before Him, be in His presence, and seek His face. I need Him more than the blessings and more than a word from Him.
So, in the first light of this day, I enter the presence of my Master. I confess my short falls, and embrace His purification. And then I walk about in this day, but always in His presence. I walk before Him and strive to be blameless; not the easy road. I suppose I should start it with breakfast. A bowl of cereal sounds good; and eggs, yeah, and "green smoothie!" Hmm...
I am on my own for a bit this week. So, indulge me for a moment while I project my loneliness onto Abram in this passage. When Lot left, was Abram lonely? I suppose anywhere from a quarter, a third, or even perhaps half of what was about Abram just up and moved away. Was he sad, and did he miss his nephew? In my imagination, he did; but mostly because I miss my wife today.
It would be ironic that after separating for strife that he would miss the "hubbub", but isn't that how it goes? My wife is off because she's taking her mom on a trip, so there's no strife involved. And I realize the reasons I miss her span from my love for her to selfish self pity (yeah, I have range...). So, my situation isn't really like Abram's except in the hole the person leaves in my life.
But for me, my loneliness has a duration of two more days. Abram didn't have that. He knew his separation was indefinite. Sure he might visit or perhaps Lot might visit, but they would never again be together like they were. The hole left is much larger, and not due to the size of the group that left, but due to the relationship lost.
It is in the midst of these emotions, however strong or weak they were, when God shows up and speaks with Abram about his descendants. Was it encouraging or sobering? Did Abram find comfort in being told that one day his children would possess the land he viewed from the hills of Beth-El? In response he goes to Hebron, builds another altar, and calls on the name of God. So, I would guess he responds positively to what he's told.
In these times of being alone, I seek to hear from my Master. Yet, my Master is Master even over communication. He doesn't necessarily speak what I want, when I want, in ways I prefer. Instead, He draws me in, not with words, but with the gnawing need in my soul for His presence. He may speak to me, but what I need is to walk about before Him, be in His presence, and seek His face. I need Him more than the blessings and more than a word from Him.
So, in the first light of this day, I enter the presence of my Master. I confess my short falls, and embrace His purification. And then I walk about in this day, but always in His presence. I walk before Him and strive to be blameless; not the easy road. I suppose I should start it with breakfast. A bowl of cereal sounds good; and eggs, yeah, and "green smoothie!" Hmm...
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