Who's Wife Is It Anyway?

After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram's wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. (Genesis 16:3 NASB)

One of the most difficult things to factor into interpretation of the Bible is ancient near eastern culture.  In this verse there at least three, and an argument can be made to include more.  Abram and Sarai are from southern Mesopotamia, live in Canaan, and Sarai has an Egyptian maid.  If the variety of cultures represented in Canaan are included, the number increases by at least double.

I bring this up because this verse says that Sarai gave Hagar to Abram as his wife.  From the context, it doesn't seem that this meant that Hagar had the status that Sarai had with Abram, as understood by either Mesopotamian; unless this is the reason Sarai complains to Abram rather than just runs Hagar off.  On the other hand, Hagar the Egyptian seems to think her status equals or exceeds Sarai.  When God weighs in on the subject, He comes down on the side of Abram and Sarai.  We're never told what the Canaanites thought. 

What if Sarai wasn't quite sure what to think of Hagar's status nor hers before Abram?  Abram's response to her demonstrates that he still sees Hagar as his wife's maid, not another wife of the same status as Sarai.  What if Abram's not sure either which might be why he didn't step in earlier on Sarai's side.  On the other hand what male would do that?  That's just asking for trouble, because we never really know if we truly understand the problem, ever.

I pose this conundrum because I often run the risk of two dangers, both of which are deadly to understanding the inspired Scriptures and my Master who inspired them.  The first danger is interpreting too quickly without asking about the cultural influences, and trying to minimize my own.  This makes Abram and Sarai living and acting in America of the Twenty-first Century, which is obviously ridiculous.

The second is falling in love with my interpretation once I reach one.  When such cultural influences from several millennia cloud my understanding (and anyone else's) I have to accept the possible variety of understandings.  What I risk by loving my own is missing the view of my Master gained from the perspective of others.  He is far too magnificent to fit into a single mind, especially one clouded by self-love.  It's early, and my head is already fuzzy; the coffee is gone, and another is needed.  What I need to do is let those be the only clouds of my mind.  So, I suppose I need more practice.

Hearing The Hearing God Without Being Distracted By Him

Gen 16:11-14 (NASB)

11 The angel of the Lord said to her further,

“Behold, you are with child,
And you will bear a son;
And you shall call his name Ishmael,
Because the Lord has given heed to your affliction.
12 “He will be a wild donkey of a man,
His hand will be against everyone,
And everyone’s hand will be against him;
And he will live to the east of all his brothers.”
13 Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “ You are a God who sees”; for she said, “ Have I even remained alive here after seeing Him?” 14 Therefore the well was called Beer- lahai- roi; behold, it is between Kadesh and Bered.

God commands that the "wild donkey of a man" be called Ishmael, meaning "God hears". But Hagar (and everyone using the well) called God, the God Who sees. It's not like I have to choose which one is right, but this is somewhat like today: I choose for myself which truth of God I want today, rather than listen for His lesson.

Again, it's not that the truth I choose isn't truth, it's more that it's not the lesson my Master is teaching me about Himself right then. Ironically, here He calls Himself the Hearing God, but Hagar isn't listening. She's so distracted by having seen God and survived. Again, not wrong, just ironic.

How patient my Master is with me to teach me but permit me to walk away with a different lesson. What do I miss when I do that? I perceive Truth when I meet my Master, He is the Truth, the Way, and the Life. Yet when I come away with a different truth than the truth He has for me, what have I lost? Perhaps the good versus the best, or perfect?

The question, or application, or lesson is "Do I listen to the Listening God, or am I too distracted by another of His 'Truths' to hear the one He has for me today?" He is the Listening God, but am I His listening servant? It's good to be called His Knight and His servant; I am close to Him by invitation. But am I hearing what He says or distracted by what I see? I suppose once again it's a pride issue, and a submission issue. Why am I not through these yet?  Well, I suppose I have some quiet listening to do. I better get on it.

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Who's In Charge Here?

After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram's wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight. And Sarai said to Abram, "May the wrong done me be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, but when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her sight. May the LORD judge between you and me." But Abram said to Sarai, "Behold, your maid is in your power; do to her what is good in your sight." So Sarai treated her harshly, and she fled from her presence. (Genesis 16:3-6 NASB)

I have often wondered about Sarai's character, here and in other passages.  I have wondered what she knew and understood about her husband's faith, and wondered whether she shared it overly much.  This passage is one of those small windows into her character.  But it only provides a small glimpse of what kind of woman she was. 

She arranges the surrogate mother thing between Abram and her maid, Hagar.  He complies, and it works.  But Hagar doesn't follow the program, instead, treating Sarai as if the child will belong to Hagar.  Sarai, doesn't deal with Hagar as a lady to her maid, but goes to Abram.  It's an interesting move, that may give insight into the household relationships.  To someone from our culture, it might sound as if Sarai is being disrespectful to Abram, but I don't think so.  I think that, rather than assume Hagar has no position before Abram, she asks.  That seems rather submissive even if her wording is very intense.

Depending on what they understood of the promise God made with Abram, perhaps Hagar saw herself as the "mother" of that promise.  Regardless of what was going on in her heart and head, she treated Sarai with contempt.  The word used is the same word used for "curse" in Genesis 12:3, with reference to those who might curse Abram.  It is the opposite of "honor" using the same imagery of weight; to honor is to "make heavy" and to despise is "to make light".  This is a very wrong move for a slave girl to make. Her consequence is to be driven off.  She realizes that her status in the household is not as she assumed, but only too late.


Sarai invokes the name of God to Abram, calling Him as Judge between them.  This at least acknowledges that Abram has faith.  Yet, in previous passages, she goes along with decisions of Abram that would require tremendous amounts of trust in her husband's faith; trust that would have to transcend Abram and attach to God.  She would have to agree and even understand for herself the character of God to permit the sacrifice of Isaac.  She would need some stiff faith to allow Abram to refer to her as his sister repeatedly.  So what is it here?


Here I believe that Sarai is forcing a point with Abram, but also seeing where his heart is.  From a passage later on (actually chapter 17, I think), it becomes clear that Abram really loves Ishmael and wants the promise of God to go through him.  God has other plans, but if that is true, it's possible that Sarai was right to "test the ground" with her husband before running off his hope of a fulfilled promise.  


I guess what I bring away from this is that, in my dealings with those around me, I should be willing to clarify my understanding of where others are with God before running off willy nilly with what I think.  I should instead return to the picture I used ages ago in a church where we had a puzzle of Noah's ark.  Everyone in the church got a puzzle piece, and not all the pieces were handed out (not enough people in the church to complete the puzzle).  The resulting image was complete enough to see what it was, but still not complete enough to finish the picture.  The point was that our vision from God takes a church with each person working with the gifts God gives, including leadership.  It all fits together, or should.


The results are not perfect though.  People may work with the gift they want instead of the gift God gives.  People may not walk in the call they are given, or fearlessly follow the piece of the vision God has given them.  People don't always listen to others, including God.  It's hard for me to wait for the complete vision, seeking to move ahead, champing at the bit to get to the next thing God wants to do.  While that is good in a sense, it also becomes a distraction to listening.  Like Sarai, I need to test the ground before my Master.  I believe I know what I'll find, as Sarai probably knew.  But assuming is usually wrong, even if it's right.

Finding My Master in Sin CIty

Now the angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur. (Genesis 16:7 NASB)

Why would the Angel of the LORD be on the way to Shur (southern region of Canaan near Egypt)?  My guess is that He was looking for Hagar.  The promise to Abram wasn't involved here.  This isn't about the land nor about Abram's descendants.  So, why do this?

This is clearly an act of grace, but it takes place in the midst of Hagar's consequences for mistreating Sarai.  Since she was the surrogate she didn't have the status of wife (per se) since she was the hand maid.  She would have known that, so it's very possible that she mistreated Sarai out of pride.  She sinned, and yet here is the Angel of the LORD looking for her.

The character of the LORD shown here is so reminiscent of Jesus.  He sought the surprising people to show favor.  The widow giving only one mite was worth His rapt attention and praise.  The tax collectors, Levi and Zachaeus were both worthy of His attention and friendship.


I see the same pattern with me.  I fall down and He raises me up.  He seeks me when in the midst of my temper tantrums, doldrums, and pity parties.  Right now, I'm doing great.  I'm in "Sin City", Nevada, yet here among the smut, I realize my Master is still seeking me.  I'm not sinning, I'm not running from the consequences of my past, and I'm not sunk in pride.  Not at the moment.


Finding that I've been found my Master is so comforting.  It reminds me that He truly is close, He has my back, He loves me, and I am called to submit to be His servant.  Even here surrounded by self-centered indulgence I am a Knight of the Realm, Servant of The King.  Well, it's time to grab my lance and horse, and get back to work!

Isn't Enough That A Sacrifice Be Willing? Must It Be Perfect?

And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.   Therefore it was necessary for the copies of the things in the heavens to be cleansed with these, but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these.   For Christ did not enter a holy place made with hands, a mere copy of the true one, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God for us; nor was it that He would offer Himself often, as the high priest enters the holy place year by year with blood that is not his own.  Otherwise, He would have needed to suffer often since the foundation of the world; but now once at the consummation of the ages He has been manifested to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself. (Hebrews 9:22-26 NASB)

It's late and my brain is tired, yet I am wired with thoughts of my Master.  They are my thoughts, and seek to reach out for His face.  I have seen a movie made by people (the ones made by monkeys are to be avoided), and it sought the highest form of humanity attainable.  In it, a man, exceptional in that he bridged two worlds, to bring peace to both, sacrificed himself to destroy the evil that would destroy them both.  Yet, he was not a "perfect" sacrifice, just an exceptional one.

This is the best we can do.  We can hope for an exceptional one to do what we cannot.  We know it as beings of the same species, yet we deny it in so many ways.  In the movie, the one on the brink of victory in the war had to admit that a common enemy was too great even for them.  They didn't want to, but in the end, they decided to compromise, and withdraw just as they were to win.  The exchange was that this exceptional human would allow himself to be used to defeat the common enemy.

God dreams much greater than we do.  We cannot imagine perfection, yet He is.  We can't imagine His holiness, yet He is holy.  We cannot imagine limitless power sacrificing without an exchange, without the necessity to compromise.  Yet my Master is limitless in power, and without compromise defeated the common enemy, which ironically, we had created.  Call it death or call it sin, it amounts to the same thing.  Death is separation from our Maker, and sin is missing His target.  Either way we miss Him. 

And yet I still rage against my impotence, my inability to control what I can see and experience.  I am still in the Garden grasping the role reserved for my Master.  I still want to persist the illusion that I am in control of something real and tangible, and is what makes me safe.  I deny in so many ways the truth that the only thing I control is my choice of my Master.  I deny that once I choose Him, then He gifts me the self-control others around me perceive in me.  I deny so often that my purpose on this earth is so very different from what I think I want, what I think others around me want, or what I see.

So after the credits rolled, I glorified my King.  I raised my head to heaven and acknowledged that I need a PERFECT Savior.  I need Jesus.  I need One willing yet PERFECT sacrifice to fix my wrong.  I have an enemy which I created by choosing anything beside my Master.  I picked the fruit, I ate, I desired the knowledge of good and evil, and I wanted that role and throne reserved for my King.  I need the PERFECT sacrifice only able to come from the One against Whom I rebelled.  I chose the sin, and yet He chose to provide the salvation.  I chose to rebel against His authority and rule, and He chose to rescue me from my choice.

But my Master guides a large boat through waters filled with those drowning in their own choices.  He wants to fill it with His creatures whom He has given the perfect sacrifice to own.  I cry out not about myself, or even of the boat, but of the Master of the ship.  It is His guidance of the boat that saves, a boat He created as well.  He made the silly drowning people, and the means by which they might be saved.  Now the swelling humanity within the ark of salvation must cry out to the drowning victims of self-righteousness and declare the salvation from the Ship Master.

And yet, not only do I continue to rebel, I continue my silence.  I will have much to answer for when I appear before my Master in His final Kingdom.  But I also have opportunity tomorrow to be a noisy klaxon of my Master. There's still hope; for me and for them.

Trial and Error or Recon by Fire: An Option To Find The Will of God

So Sarai said to Abram, "Now behold, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I will obtain children through her." And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. (Genesis 16:2 NASB)

In the Ancient Near East (ANE), surrogate motherhood was not an unheard of solution for barren women of wealth and status.  In that culture the woman acting as the surrogate gave birth sitting on the lap of the intended mother in the birthing chair.  The child was then "born into the lap" of the intended mother.  Not terribly comfortable for anyone.

So, in the case of Abram and Sarai, the option of surrogate motherhood seemed like a valid one.  After all, God had said the promised child through whom would come the descendants like the dust and stars would come through Abram.  He hadn't mentioned Sarai in His promise.  Given the length of time between discussions, it could easily be assumed, God was not waiting on them.  Typically, Abram and Sarai (particularly Sarai) get a bad reputation here, and it probably isn't deserved.  In fact, their search technique for finding the will and direction from God is actually fairly common.

Don't just stand there do something!  We say it, we think it about ourselves.  Our culture tells us that activity is better than passivity.  I have bought into it, and I'm not alone.  I'm told this axiom by my employer, by my friends, wife, family where I came from, and myself.  On the other hand, over a decade ago, a new version had become popular, "Don't just do something, stand there!"  It's not as popular as it used to be.

One of my weaknesses is procrastination.  It's a weakness I plan on working on one of these days.  I am an avoid-er of things I should do, I know it, and I beat myself up about it.  I feel shame about it.  I sense the failing, the fear, the empty courage.  But in coming out here to Nevada, I had to face the fear of acting according to everyone else.  I waited on the opportunities and direction of God, and moved to obey without waiting for resources to do so.  It was one of the most faithful processes I have ever had the joy of participating in.

So, I know that sometimes what my Master tells me is to wait.  Then, for me, waiting is an act of obedience.  And at times, He says to go or move or do, and to then to wait for more from Him is to disobey.  In Genesis 16, Abram has been waiting, but it doesn't say how long.  The word from God at first was lots of descendants.  Then it was expanded to be lots of descendants from Abram.  To this point, Abram has moved and been obedient to the vague direction of his God.  He has believed his God, and that belief has been credited to him as righteousness. 

One detail he was given was that his descendants innumerable would not possess the land until after 400 years of slavery.  In other words, after waiting a long time.  So, Abram knew that waiting was included in the promise.  But the child to come through him really couldn't wait all that long, at some point Abram would die.  So, while he had been waiting and knew that waiting was included in the "land" part of the promise, he also knew that there was a limit on how long he could wait for the "descendant" part of the promise.

In this passage, really the only clue we have that this option was wrong was the discussion between the Angel of the Lord and Hagar.  There we discover that Ishmael would be blessed (sort of) as well, but was not the child of the promise.  So, the option of a surrogate mother was not how God intended to fulfill His promise to Abram.  The practical conventionally wise solution under the circumstances was not the leading of God.  But it didn't bother God either.  In fact He wove the child of Hagar into His will and work all throughout the life of His chosen people. 

In this instance trial and error wasn't working for Abram and Sarai to find the path to the promise of God.  This would have been an "error".  That's an option I often choose to find the will of my Master.  I can always tell by the "error" result that it's not working.  And I'm not really sure when I don't fail that I've truly found His path.  I wonder if He is "permitting" something I've chosen to attempt, as in His blessing of Ishmael; not great, but useful for later.  I realize that not knowing the will of my Master is never comfortable.  Sometimes I need to wait for His direction and act.  Sometimes I need to act when He speaks while I'm still blind.  The key is listening for His voice.  Actually, no, the key is hearing His voice, and receiving the whole message.

So, wait or not to wait.  How do I know?  Do I attempt to discover His will by trying various things until something works?  In the military we called that "recon by fire" where we would direct fire into an area where we suspect the enemy might be hiding.  Sometimes we would hit them, but most of the time we didn't.  Either way, we didn't loose a soldier.  Is that the way my Master wants me to find His will?  It doesn't seem so from this passage.  Perhaps I should put away my "guns" and make myself comfortable in the gallery outside the Throne Room of the King of Kings; read a book, drink coffee, pace the floor, I know the drill.

Obtaining The Promise of God

Gen 16:2 2 So Sarai said to Abram, “Now behold, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I will obtain children through her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.

In the Ancient Net East, barren women of 'rank and privilege' would have a surrogate mother bear them a child. It was a strange custom where the surrogate mother would sit in the lap of her barren mistress in the birthing chair. Not comfortable for anyone really. So what Sarai proposes is a valid 'cultural' solution.

To be fair, God had clarified the promise of descendants by saying they would come from Abram; He hadn't mentioned anything about Sarai having the child. And with her being barren, it wouldn't have been an obvious assumption for them. So Sarai and Abram have received much undeserved criticism over the years for trying to "creatively" help God; they are just seeking His will like so many do today, by trial and error.

I think I do that a bit too much sometimes. I try to seek the will of my Master by trying stuff until I find the one that works. The one that works must be His will, right? Not here. God was working to bring about Isaac, but still permitted Ishmael. That may not have been where He was leading Abram and Sarai, but He worked with that too.

So when I seek the will of God, how do I know I have the whole thing yet? God hadn't mentioned Sarai, and culturally Hagar could have born her a legitimate son. What should they have waited to see or hear to know Sarai was the chosen mother? 

Any answer to this question is speculation, regardless of who, what, where, or how makes up the answer. Scripture doesn't say, and clues are subject to various interpretations. Here's mine, they should have waited for more detail just like they had been doing. In other words they were already doing what they were supposed to do. The only reason I say that is because they hadn't been given new direction. That's not a great reason. Suppose God hadn't given further direction because they didn't need any. As long as Abram was the father the promise was being kept, right? All along God has gone from vague to less vague; details have been in short supply. They moved their entire lives on less info from God.

Sometimes staying the course already plotted is good and God's will for change will happen more than be found. But sometimes God's will has enough latitude to include enough options I can choose among several. The factor in my choosing is often what I believe diminishes me and glorifies Him. In choosing among options or waiting for more direction, the motivating drive must be His glory or I will fail. And that's not a great option.

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