Facing The Ground, Addressing The King

So he said to his men, "Far be it from me because of the LORD that I should do this thing to my lord, the LORD'S anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, since he is the LORD'S anointed."  David persuaded his men with these words and did not allow them to rise up against Saul. And Saul arose, left the cave, and went on his way.  Now afterward David arose and went out of the cave and called after Saul, saying, "My lord the king!" And when Saul looked behind him, David bowed with his face to the ground and prostrated himself. (1 Samuel 24:6-8 NASB)

 One of the qualities of David that shines through regardless of where he is or what he's doing is respect for others.  He doesn't just respect elders, but he respects other people.  He is the true warrior, defeating the foes of the people of God wherever he goes.  Yet he is also kind.  He doesn't have to be.  He is talented, gifted, very bright, and does not loose battles.  But people follow him, do what he says, go where he goes, and fight dangerous foes for him.

Consider the quality of a man who, between two audiences, bows himself before his mortal enemy because that person is the anointed king.  Those before him see that he is not what they feared.  Those behind see that he is more than what they imagined.  The 3,000 young men with Saul probably knew nothing of what David was really like, only what they had heard.  The 600 behind him in the cave knew only what they had seen as he led them through the desert running from Saul.  Now both see an expected quality.

Can I display that quality, have it as my own?  What would it take; to be able to show respect for people regardless of what they have done to me?  First, I can only assume that it would take the ability to forgive.  That is one of the most powerful actions any person can take.  Second, it would probably take honest assessment of myself before my Master.  That is one of the most powerful visions any person can have.

Seeing myself as my Master sees me is both humbling and empowering.  Spending some time in Ephesians 2 can greatly expand any understanding of who followers of my Master are.  The truth of who we are as opposed to what we look like is one of those things that, like the vastness of the universe, is hard to grasp.  And it's not just how my Master sees me, it is the truth about the core of my being.  I am not as described in Ephesians 2 because of something I did, or some quality I've always had but ignored.  On the contrary, the extreme contrary, the things I have done, still do, and will do in the future tarnish the view of who I am.

For I have been rescued from the enemy of humanity by the free gift of my Master, through faith in Him given to me by Him, so that I can see clearly that it is not a quality of my own, removing any boasting on my part, but also any responsibility.  And I have been rescued by the Great Artist as a masterpiece of His so that I might perform the actions on behalf of my Master which He prepared from ancient times for me to live out.  Long story short; I have been changed to my very core by my Master for His purpose in His world.

That's what's true, for me, as it was for David.  It's what enabled David to bow before the wildly insane king pursuing his life.  It's what enables me to respect the difficult customers, teammates, managers, friends, foes, and family around me.  The truth of who I am because of my Master takes away the need to protect myself, provide for myself, and attack to gain what I want.  Instead, I simply live out those activities which my Master prepared for me from the very beginning point of creation.

So, it's not my plan, even my good and wise ones; not my ability, though I may be very capable; not my wisdom, though I may be wiser than some.  Instead my life is truly about the plans of my Master, His abilities, and His wisdom.  And this is true even when I don't act like it.  Again, I have been rescued by grace.  I am who I am, even if I sometimes forget.

Same Things Another Way, Only Shorter

I’m not sure what can be said this morning on atonement that wasn’t said yesterday on propitiation.  Forgiveness has been purchased by God at the price of the life of Jesus.  So the grace and mercy of God is shown not only in that He did not exact the punishment I deserved, but also in that He poured out that punishment on His Son.  The item missing perhaps is the emphasis on wrath.  It is unmistakably implied though.  Punishment is wrath without using that word.  So forgiveness has come through a substitutionary application of the wrath of God.  A further treatment of this idea is found in yesterday’s entry.

So, now I’m off to have some coffee, breakfast, and a day of prayerful worship.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 20

Choosing a Master on the Cafeteria Plan

I figured Oswald Chambers would get here sooner or later.  But he also goes as far as I've heard ministers go on the subject.  In Romans 6:16, my ministry buddy, Paul describes the situation to the church members in Rome where what ever they give themselves to becomes their master, whether sin or obedience to God.  Where Chambers goes with this is to run with the slavery picture Paul uses.  So, to whatever I present myself as a slave into obedience, to that I am a slave.  In other words, initially I choose to serve something (or someone) and after that choice is made, I am a slave without choices.

The first step of the 12 steps is, "We are powerless to control __________ and our lives have become unmanagable."  This does not describe how we got there.  The focus is on the situation at hand.  The choice of masters has been made and I am a slave without choice, powerless, unable to manage my own affairs due to the clamoring of my master for my attention.  For some this is alcohol, others it is narcotics, still others it is eating, shopping, sex, work, co-dependency, and then finally, my favorite category, "hurts, habbits, and hang ups."  Whichever I choose becomes my master and all other pretenders for the position must wait, family, friends, work, and God. 

Chambers cuts right to the heart of the step one when he points out that, "the first thing to do in examining the power that dominates me is to take hold of the unwelcome fact that I am responsible for being thus dominated."  Where he does not go (in this entry anyway) is into what to do about it now.  He says that only yielding to Jesus will break every form of slavery in my life, but how is that done?  How is it that I make the transition or change in masters?  After all, if I am a slave having once made my choice, I no longer have the ability to choose, even to choose another master.  He says as much, but then concludes, as do so many others, with choosing Jesus.  I can't!  That's the point!  I'm a slave, and yes it's my fault, but I'm still a slave.  Accepting that I am to blame for being a slave to whatever doesn't magically change my allegiance.  Something else must happen.

Slaves are freed in one of two ways.  Either someone (including themselve) buys them in order to free them, or they escape.  The latter is rarely a guarantee, and even the first one has dangers for some.  Paul goes to great lengths to describe God's solution, in fact this may form the essence of the entire Book of Romans.  God does act to free me from slavery.  He redeems me through the action of His Son, Jesus.  What Jesus has done is redeemed slaves, paid debts of the borrowers, taken punishment on Himself to appease the wrath earned by the guilty, achieved amnesty for the rebels, and balanced the requirements of justice reconciling the unjust with the justice of a Holy and Perfect God.  He is a busy Person.

So, what's the problem?  If Jesus has freed me from my slavery, why does it still have an effect?  The answer is contained in the context of the verse, verse 16.  I still choose.  The action of Jesus freed me to choose again, but I still must submit to someone.  What I do that causes me no end of pain and frustration is I try to dodge the problem by choosing myself, taking up my own mastery.  The problem with this choice is that it is never really myself I end up choosing.  Here's why.  First I choose myself, life gets a little crazy and, like everyone, I need help.  So I turn to something, it could be anything, for help.  But the help I want is to feel better, something to ease the pain and discomfort of life.  It is in the moment of that dependent choice that I again enter into slavery to something, whatever that something I imagine will make me feel better.  By choosing myself, since I am not up to the task of controlling the circumstances of this life I live, I will always seek another. 

Jesus' is not surprised here.  Eventually, neither is Paul.  What they both understand, and I am learning slowly is that I need to choose Jesus right up front to avoid the problems on the back end.  When I do, the pains of this crazy life situation I live within does not go away, but the acceptance and dependence upon my Master Who loves me like crazy enables me to do what I could never do before.  I can endure with peace, and experience a transformation of those circcumstances into opportunites to serve my Master.  It's crazy to think that before I was still serving a master, but afraid to let anyone know I was a slave.  Yet everyone I am around is in the same situation I am.  We are all slaves to something, whether we like to admit it or not.

So, how do I choose Jesus on the front end?  I believe two things are needed: 1) Practice, daily practice.  Choosing every day, hour, and minute to practice choosing Jesus.  B) Accountability.   Remember, that for me, accountability is part of why I write this blog.  This is not to say that I have been duped into believing that these are the only two things needed.  There are other things, but all the options taken, whether 12-steps, or counseling, or any other option, all must contain the two I mentioned.  These are the only two things that work for me.  Now, let me also say that I have struggled for over 20 years to break free from my favorite smelly nasty dog toy of an addiction.  Sure, I know I need those first two things, but while the first may be easy to say, it is extremely difficult to do.  Once I fail in the first, it's really easy to circumvent the second.  Then it is a short fall into the mire from which I can't rise on my own.

So, keep reading this, holding me accountable for what I write.  When I miss day, please complain.  It's not for you I write, but rather it is for me you read.  I hope, and believe, that God will help us both, but I do not do this for others.  If I did, I would want thanks, and attention, and "kudos", and whatever.  I do this because I have to in order to maintain some semblence of sanity and connection to my Master.  So, I thank you.  If you comment or don't that's fine.  The One I really want to please is my Master.  I wish He would comment once in a while (or do I?).

Shepherding Flocks in the Pasture

Once Peter feels the pang of grief over the third question, he is told a third time to guide Jesus' sheep to pasture.  Each of the three times is slightly different as are the questions about Peter's love for Jesus.  Each of the commands combines lambs and sheep, tending and shepherding.  Each command  is given after Peter claims to love Jesus.  Just as Peter's restoration of his relationship to Jesus required three questions to offset the three denials, it also required three commands, or commissions.  Just as each of the questions were repetitions, so were the commands.  The questions, answers, and commands all went together, and all were part of restoring Peter.

I doubt that Jesus really needed either the questions or the command, or the repetition for that matter.  I believe that He accepted Peter just as he was, staring into the fire, dejected, feeling the shame and pain of his denial of the One who was feeding him a fish breakfast.  I believe it was Peter who needed the questions, and the commands.  I think he felt neither fit for Jesus' company nor for leading the group of believers, let alone real lambs and sheep.  Jesus' countered each denial with a question and a command.  The three showed Peter that Jesus knew about Peter's denial.  Peter realized that "all things" included his three denials.  So Jesus knew and He still shared fish with Peter; He still asked Peter to tend the sheep; He still wanted a relationship with Peter.  I think it was that realization that caused the hurt for Peter.

For me, as I sit with them on the beach around the fire, feeling both the chill of the morning air, and warmth of the fire, I wonder what questions will Jesus combine with what commands.  Or will He work in a different way with the different person that I am to ensure that I know that He accepts me and still calls me to serve?  So, do I wander out into the pasture and begin guiding sheep?  Do I sit by the fire and listen for the questions and commands?  Do I begin my morning with the acceptance of Jesus' acceptance of me, and wander into work, through the maze of rush-hour traffic, and work with the fellow sheep in our pens (also known as cubicles)?  Is it the day I already have, or a new day with a new set of tasks?

Right now, it is the day I already have.  I wait, which means that things are not changing yet.  I wait on my Master, the One sustaining the vast Universe He has created and continues to create, which includes bowing before Him in reference (also known as worship).  I wait while living in my current circumstances, which means that I walk through these circumstances which make up my life in the presence of my Master, always aware of His proximity, constant attention, and care.  So the day rolls on, and the frustrations with my circumstances are to be set aside as the minor distractions that they are.  I am called out of my black-and-blue funk of self-deprecating shame into the bright orange, yellow, and white light of the glory of my Master.  "Matt, do you love me more than these?"  These feelings, not just the other people around the fire; these perceptions and imaginings; these repeated mental film reels of my failure; do I love Him more than these?  "You know I love You."  "Then, _______ ."  What goes in the blank?  Today, the blank is filled with...  I may need to get back to you on that one.