In Genesis 6
through 9, the account of God destroying all life on earth with a flood is
chilling. Noah and his family are saved,
and immediately afterwards, the family breaks up. Ham and Canaan are cursed and it is as if the
garden and tree thing has happened all over again. I suppose it is just telling evidence that it
never went very far anyway. Then the Tower
of Babel, the Table of Nations, and then war for the rest of human history sum
up the remainder of time from then until now.
Oh, I forgot, and God saved the world through His Son, Jesus. At least that is how it seems sometimes. But it’s not.
There is a
difference in this world and in human history because the Creator of humans has
not left us alone. For reasons that are
all His own, I see record after record of one covenant after another with this
rebellious cantankerous rabble He created, wiped clean, and started again. I call the reason I don’t really understand,
love. He loves me (us really). But that word has to be defined for me by
what He has done. Love is now thousands
of years of patience with the crazies crawling on the earth. Love is continually engaging ones in
conversation, covenants, giving laws, and finally invading their paradigm,
allowing Himself to be killed.
So, I don’t
really fully understand love; only to the degree that I see my Master’s
work. And I suppose the question posed
by Chambers this morning is, do I believe that and abide by that final covenant? It better be yes, but is it? I am still so wrapped up in me that I
wonder. Honestly it’s not like I expect
my Master to do more than He has done.
It honestly has to do with my knowledge of His love having no
bounds. I know He forgives me. I am ashamed to say it, but I know I can get
away with my sinful things because I know the One who sees me also forgives
me. It is as if I have said with my life
that sin should abound all the more.
The wrong I
do is not unconscious. Sometimes it is
habitual, but that never lasts. The
stuff that lasts or in which I continually participate are things I know are
wrong. Being a bully to my daughter
instead of lovingly correcting her is not something I do because I think it’s
the way a parent is supposed to be. I do
it for the same reason bullies have always done that: I feel powerful and less afraid when I exert
control over others. It’s stupid and
devoid of surrender to my Master. When I
am irresponsible, when I am…wow, this is depressing. Anyway, I’m sinful and it has to do with me
breaking a covenant with my Master.
The answer
is being faithful to my Master. It really
comes down to tipping the emphasis of my time and life toward Him. Lately it has been toward games. That’s not working for me. I just ejected the disc that has been in my
drive for weeks now, and put it away. It’s
not an evil game per se, but it has been consuming me. It’s intense, and while that’s not wrong, it’s
something appealing and easy for me to obsess over. I crave the adrenaline. And it’s safe; I get the adrenaline rush without
jumping off a bridge with rubber bands attached to my ankles. I don’t have to base-jump; I can focus on a
computer screen. I see it has become bad
for me.
If my
brother wants to play, then I can for social reasons. I have been telling myself I’m
practicing. I was for a while, but I’ve
practiced. There are things around here
I need to do, laundry, shopping for my wife (did I mention Christmas is
coming?), and so on. I’m not running
short of things to occupy my time. I
have blog entries I’m stacking up for after December 15. I’ve got stuff to do, so I won’t be
bored. It all lacks the adrenaline
though, the intensity. So I know that it
will be difficult for a while, but peace seems at odds with adrenaline. Let’s see how I do with peace for a few days.
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