Community Purpose Aimed At Community Problems

What am I looking for when I seek a church? This is one of my least favorite things to do; in fact I am more likely to stay in a church with lots of problems and getting nowhere than to go look for another. Part of that is the relational level in churches that I have attended or looked at seems so shallow. I've only found deeper relationships within Bible studies and small groups, not so much the result of a worship gathering. And yet, it is the worship gathering that is normally used to gauge a church. Why is that?

The church we tried last week, and the one we are looking this morning both seem slim on Bible study, at least for adults. Frankly, that's really a problem for me. Small groups are scarce around here. I'm new to the community, so there could be reasons why small groups are impractical, but I doubt it. I suspect people have time for TV, and working on hobbies. If they have that sort of time, they also have time for a small group.

This morning Chambers has a great entry on spiritual sluggishness. And one of his points is that active work is not the same as spiritual activity. The danger he point out is that my focus can become on "spiritual retirement" rather than on The Holy Spirit; he says that the effect can become the cause. I think of it instead as the affects become the focus, where I become more interested in how the Spirit of my Master affects me than on Him. I like the joy and peace, and not so much the "being at His service."

The community I live in has been hit hard by a difficult economy. Economies, in and of themselves, even on a micro scale, are complex. So the answers are rarely easy, but they can be basic. For instance, one common element to any economy is currency. Currency is what determines the inflation or deflation of prices within an economy. Without currency, the economy becomes deflated, but then depression sets in. With too much inflation makes prices soar. Currency is a necessary element, but it requires balance.

A second common element is supply versus demand. There are two large "warehouse" sorts of stores here, Walmart and Lowes. One problem faced by both is the breadth of product options. They are not able to focus on just those brands and types the community is interested in. They, by design are constrained to a broad range of products. This puts them in danger since they can be caught with too much supply, and not enough demand, a problem compounded by their practice of rotating stock seasonally. This is a problem to the community because these are two large employers, and if they go under, so do a lot of jobs, removing the needed currency from the local economy.

So the problems of this community are not easily solved because they are intertwined, interrelated, and complex. Simple solutions are difficult to find. These problems foster depression and hopelessness, and those emotions make people easy prey for the evil one. The dark cloud of evil is often brought on by the darkness of hopelessness.

Spiritual activity may not solve the economic problems enabling people to get what they want where they are. But that is not the core problem Jesus came to solve. Getting at the heart of the problem of the human soul is more His interest. So, any spiritual activity must be focused there. When people are lifted from their hopelessness, they will be able to respond to their economic circumstances with the vision my Master provides, not something I come up with. That is what they need, the direction of my Master. And I am proof that He provides such vision. I am here as proof of that provision.

So where do I provide such assistance; in a worship service? Not likely. These are things most easily provided and accomplished in a small group. So, perhaps this is my "heading" for charting the direction my Master is leading.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 10

Service Impossible

I can't serve the Lord either. In Joshua 27:19, after the people have said that they would serve Yahweh, Joshua replies that they can't. And it was true, they couldn't. It's also true for me. I am capable of a lot of things. I speak to people about stuff and sound so knowledgeable, and about a lot of it I am, and about some of it I guess. It's my job, and I do a fairly good job of it. I adapt, I learn, I seek answers and solve problems really well. So it is very easy for me to become self-reliant.

But I cannot serve my Master. It's not that I don't want to serve Him it's that I'm not capable of serving my Master. Think about it: It is my Master who made the sun with all its shockingly destructive and horrifying power; He made stay where it is, a massive hydrogen fusion explosion constrained by the gravity of its own mass, and keeping massive solid bodies of rock and gas in motion around it. This is the sort of thing my Master has done, and from the looks of just this galaxy, He's done it over and over with astonishing variety yet regularity.

I can install a ceiling fan, sort of, under good circumstances, with lots of trips to the store for stuff I forgot or was ignorant I needed. Is it reasonable to expect that I can serve such a Master? I can't. It isn't reasonable. Yet my Master calls me into service. He calls me to wait, worship, and walk before Him. He reminds me that He loves me (the ceiling fan challenged servant), that He has my back, and that I am to be at His service. The only explanation is that He chooses to use me for His pleasure, because He wants to. It can't be because He needs me for anything in particular. It cannot be that. It must be for His pleasure. Perhaps I'm fun to watch flounder around in my self-importance.

So, in this calling to walk in service, I walk, seeking what? The only ability my Master has given me which is useful to Him is my ability to choose. That is what was given in the garden at first. That's where the wheels came off, where our race nose-dived, where what was beautiful and full of life died in an ugly fashion. The only thing that survived was the ability to choose. But then the choice was to obey or not. Now the choice is to submit or not. It's a semantic difference, but an important one. They both deal with trust, faith, hope, and a view of myself in relation to my Master. But when it comes down to it, I can choose to submit to my Master and His perspective, or choose to live in submission to the master of the air and his perspective of me. It sounds like an easy choice. The problem is that I like the initial perspective of the master of the air. It's a perspective of apparent power and strength and security. It looks good in the packaging. Unwrapped it's a disaster.

Today, I bring my ability to choose into play. I choose to submit to my Master, and His perspective. He wants me to do something, and I'm not sure why. It entails investigating or interviewing a pastor. I think it's to encourage and support him, but I have no idea what for, what any particular problem might be, or anything. It seems I have something to learn. So, I need to learn it. That takes submission. I choose my Master. That much I can do. The rest is up to Him.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 9

Focusing On What I Do Know of My Master’s Will

I know that my Master has led me and my "household" out here to Nevada. I don't know why yet. I am anxious to discover it, but again, my call is to wait, worship, and walk before Him. So, I will. My black box came yesterday, and it works fine. I plugged into the phone system at work, caught some calls and made some money on inbound calls. It's for real now. Curtains are on windows, most of the boxes are gone (from inside the house), and the house is looking more like it belongs to us. We are here, but why?

The neighborhood is really quiet during the day. I saw two kids out yesterday afternoon, and they have been the first two I've seen in a week. I see a car now and then going up or down the street, but very few. It's as if we're going to have to go out and find people, they aren't going to be just waiting around for us in their yards. It's kind of like the beginning of a scary movie where there is something sinister in the neighborhood, and no one talks about it. I suspect is just summer and everyone is hiding in the air conditioned interior of their homes, or at work. I suspect it has more to do with X-Boxes and Wii's than some sinister person (those are sinister enough).

Can I maintain my composure in this position until my Master reveals to us what we're here for? That is the real question. I believe I can, just, as Chambers points out, as long as my will is aligned loyally to my Master. The key in this situation is for me to maintain the focus of my will on my Master. Right now He has placed me in a situation to do my job under much greater, more intimate scrutiny than before. Now I office with my wife. She gets to hear me on the phone with customers. I have to ensure that, to an even higher degree, I honor her as well as my Master while I'm doing my job. My daughter can hear me, and I need to honor her as well. I am a witness to my family in this time and place.

I suspect there is more to this than bearing witness to my family, but I will have to wait for the rest. Today, I will be faithful what I do have, and my will is to be loyal to my Master in my job. I will do it.

As a side note, I have to admit it is fun struggling with the challenge of having my mind in two time zones at once. The work computer is in Central Time, and I live in Pacific Time. It's weird, and challenging enough to keep my attention. It's very engaging, but that can't sustain me for long. I'll get the hang of it, and will eventually have to maintain my focus without it.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 8

Hiking the Rough Road to Life, Or I Will Be Sometime

The gate is narrow and the path is difficult leading to life (Matthew 7:14). Chambers focuses on the mention that the path is difficult. The word used for "difficult" means to rub together between the fingers. As an adjective it's very descriptive, and easily conveys the image of difficulty. So, my path is supposed to be as if I were rubbed between the fingers of my Master. No wonder few find this gate and path. They are probably not looking for one thing. I don't know many people looking for a way of life characterized by being rubbed between the fingers of God.

And yet, I find there are a lot of things I use where that is something I do with them, especially to clean off certain types of things, like rubber cement, or other glue. There is a benefit to cleaning things this way instead of with soap and water. By rubbing some things between my fingers, I can roll them into a tight tube. So there are some practical aspects of such a difficult life.

My day now is spent at home, and yet on the phone with customers. It's somewhat surreal to be able to take a break and go into my own kitchen to get a snack. That's not bad, but when the dogs in the neighborhood get riled up, it's a bit of a difficult explanation as what that "noise" in the background is about. I can't tune out all the noises of home, squabbles, dogs, appliances, TV, and so on. My daughter likes to be able to come in and hug me and I like that too. But she also notices that I'm focused on what I'm doing, and can't spend time with her. It's still an 8-hour job, and so I'm more accessible, but only slightly so.

But I doubt this is the "difficult" way leading to life. I'm not sure when that comes now that we're here in Nevada. Perhaps it is found in the additional down-sizing we have to do as we unpack. Perhaps it will be in the search for a church. We found one that seems sad for some reason. I don't know if that is normal for them, but it was fairly pronounced. We intend to try another one this Sunday, but there is a part of me that is fascinated by the troubles of that first church.

I don't know where the troubles are, but they will come. The gate is narrow and the path is hard, but it leads to life. Few find it for whatever reason, but it leads to life. I want life, so I will follow it, hard or easy, or through whatever terrain. I have my stout stick, my pack with water bag, a wide hat, and sturdy boots. It sounds a bit like what I normally wore to work in Texas. Happy Trails!

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 7

A Quick Post About A Missing Crisis

I start my first day of really working. Since the magic black box is missing, I will be calling customers on my cell phone. This is probably one of my least favorite parts of the job, but it is necessary. It's searching for that golden needle in a haystack. I usually end up in a longer sales process rather than sell right then over the phone, but sometimes it works out. So eight hours of it will be tough.

Chambers says that my Master's vision of what I am to be is worked out in difficulty. I don't know if this counts, but I certainly don't see it as a time to cave to vile cravings. I'm tired, and we have decided to change our routine such that coffee is pushed off for about an hour. I don't like that much. It is what it is, but still. I'm tired, bleary-eyed, and now know I need to hit the sack earlier. I learn slowly I suppose.

But this is, again, not the difficulty Chambers is writing about. I suppose that is coming. There will be that dark valley where it seems I am furthest away from the vision of what I am to be. I guess in that valley will be another test to see if I will give into temptation; or rather another opportunity to resist said temptation. I have more to do on the house, and some things to setup before my wife travels next month. We have a church to find, and other things to work out (doctors, mechanics, and so on). But none of these would seem to be a defining crisis.

Well, now it's time to stop this and work out to a "demonic" trainer. It's good for me, but tough. But even this is not the defining problem where my Master works over my character making it into the vision He desires. When that happens, I will blog about it. Never fear.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 6

Waiting for It, IT, or my Master

It is finally July 5, and today I had planned to start work. The "black box" is not here, I have not hooked up the computer to my network (I will do that this morning), and I have no idea what happens now. My plan has come up empty. I did not plan with my Master in view, as Chambers puts it. I planned what I wanted. Silly me.

Today is a new world with new rules, new prospects, and new possibilities. Today begins this period where I finally see what it was my Master called me out here for. Here I continue my calling to wait, worship, and walk before Him. Today begins a new chapter where I do the thing which worked so well up to this time; I wait.

I work while waiting. I have fields to prepare for the rains my Master is bringing. I have work to do around this house, once the 'work' setup is complete. I have things to do constantly which naturally result from moving half-way across the country. I have lots of work, which means I have lots of opportunities to walk before my Master, in the midst of worshipping and waiting.

Well, I guess I better get at it. "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go!"

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 5

Fretting About What I Can’t Control

The word that Chambers focuses on in Psalm 37:8 is translated "fret" in the Revised Version he quotes. The word used in Hebrew is "Charah" which means "to burn with anger." The Hebrew stem adds the sense of causing yourself to do something, so it really has the sense of "causing yourself to burn with anger." The English word "fret" has the sense of wearing away, corroding, and gnawing away, and is rarely associated with anger. Perhaps at the turn of the previous century, the word related more to anger than current usage. I only found one reference to anger or fury as a possible synonym, but it occurred first in the list of possibilities, so perhaps it was more common at one time. It wasn't what sprung to mind as a possible translation when I looked at it.

In the discussion Chambers follows on this, it would have more to do with worry instead of anger anyway. The context of the Psalm seems to imply something of sitting and fuming while waiting, as in waiting in anger for Yahweh to punish those evil people. So, it can be the sense of fret, but with the strong implication that this fretting is done with anger. Oh, and before I leave this discussion of this word, notice that it is used in poetry, and therefore suspect in usage. I say that because poets try very hard to use related words, for a topic, and meanings may be stretched somewhat. So, this may not be the most common usage of this word in Hebrew, and those in that day probably picked up on shade of meaning lost to me over the past 3,000 years. I admit it could happen.

Chambers ties fretting to several things. First, he says I need to avoid it in the times things are not going my way; second, my fretting lets my wicked selfishness show; and third, my fret shows my lack of faith. He cools this meaning down to worry rather than anger, and in doing so, makes the application much more personal, and more common. It might be easy for me to say that I don't wait in anger very often, but I have to admit that I do fret in some way or another more commonly.

For instance, I expected to start working my job remotely tomorrow. The magic "black box" I needed to do so hasn't even been built yet (at least, not to my knowledge). So, now it looks as if I have another week to wait before I begin work. In order to begin work, I will have to configure, test, re-configure, re-test, and so on the equipment I use to do my job. I can plan on it not working the first time. So, that being the case, I have much waiting to do. I don't like it. I worry about it. I don't like the fact that I am burning up time off or taking days without pay to get this thing setup. I don't like it, partly because I have some rather large sales I am waiting on that I expect this coming week. I really hate that! So, you see, I fret in anger. I do not trust my Master. And I lack faith; at least not in this.

The reality I struggle to accept is that the Master of Timing knows my circumstances, and, for whatever reason, has not decided to let me begin work when I wanted to. He has other plans to which I need to submit. And I need to submit not only because that is what a servant does to his master, but because the plans of my Master are greater, more important plans than I can imagine. And it is a mighty act of grace on His part to include me in His plans. If I have to take time-off-without-pay, that is not a surprise to my Master, it is a part of His purpose. So be it.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 4